I hope this personal information about my experiences before and after getting my sex-change surgery might help others planning to have surgery continue to have orgasms.
Having a pussy is nice, but if you don't have much sensation down there, that takes away lots of the fun. There are lots of transsexuals who never get orgasms after surgery. Some transsexuals have to spend so much time getting themselves to orgasm that they don't find it worth the bother. There seems to be lots of denial about this. Some of these post-operative girls will tell you wild stories about their multiple orgasms. I heard these stories before my surgery. But I also heard every now and then someone say that they have heard that everybody get a numb vulva. Being someone who wanted to have post-operative orgasms, I decided to get the odds in my favor. If I was going to be orgasm-less after my operation, I didn't want it to be by lack of effort on my part.
I figured I should train myself to have orgasms very quickly, so I masturbated with my penis and would concentrate on coming quickly. I've heard that there are some men who ( usually unfortunately ) can make themselves come in seconds. I had to settle for about three minutes depending on how aroused I was to begin with.
I knew I would still have the same anus after surgery, so I thought being able to have orgasms by anal sex alone might turn out to be a handy trick. Hours passed as I practiced anal sex with partners and by myself with dildos. That was all very fun, but I never was able to have orgasms by anal stimulation alone. I did however get to the point where I could have an orgasm with lots of anal stimulation combined with just a few strokes on my penis.
So with this preparation I ran off to Colorado to seek my new genitalia. The surgery came and went, and I was lying in a hospital bed with my groin wrapped like a mummy. And I was in pain. It felt like an alligator was going down on me. All this did not help me bond with my new body part. It was several days after surgery before I actually saw the Doctor's handiwork, and it looked messy. Everything was blood stained, bruised, and swollen. It all looked more like a big gash than completed surgery. Touching this part of my body seemed like a repulsive prospect. It all seemed so delicate and sore, I couldn't imagine actually having somebody shoving his cock into my new vagina.
After surgery I was instructed to dilate my vagina several times a day for about twenty minutes first with a small dildo, and eventually working my up to bigger ones. I really hated doing this for the first few weeks. I didn't like touching my vulva. It all seemed sort of mushy and icky. But I did as I was told, and things healed albeit slowly. While I was told that I could have sex within six weeks of surgery, I think six months would be the better estimate for when most post-ops would feel comfortable doing this.
After a few months I started dilating only once a day. Having to push something inside me and hold it there was sort of a hassle, but it not only helped the vagina to heal correctly, it helped me get used to my pussy. After a while touching myself didn't seem creepy. I started reading and looking at pornography while I had a dildo in me so I would start associating sex with vaginal penetration. For months I was practically numb in my genitals, and I didn't feel sexual at all. I was becoming worried. Very slowly I started getting some sensation back, not enough to have an orgasm, but enough to make stroking my pussy pleasant and arousing. It took me some months just to get used to knowing when I was aroused. Not only didn't I have erections to give me feedback about my state of mind and body, the surgery somehow changed the feelings of lust throughout my body (This subject deserves a book to itself, so I won't go into detail about these changes.)
After a year without an orgasm I began to feel discouraged. I was beginning to work on accepting a future without orgasms. I was still masturbating however since it did feel quite good. One night I woke up and decided to masturbate to help me relax and fall back asleep. Sleeping is frequently difficult for me. I was lying there for probably about an hour playing with myself when I started to sense that I was getting near and orgasm. I began pressing harder on my pussy using my whole hand to rub my vulva all over. Sure enough, and orgasm! You might think that a year without coming would set me up for a really big orgasm, but that wasn't the case. That first female orgasm was very weak. I imagine that many of my muscles had weakened from lack of hard sexual use.
After that first orgasm I was worried that it was some sort of fluke, but I managed to have another orgasm later that morning after working at it for 90 minutes. As the months passed sensation came back more and more and I was getting better at masturbating. By two years after surgery I was able to get my orgasms within a half hour. I wasn't getting orgasms from sex with partners, but I was pleased with my progress. A little after this time I met Scott who I would eventually marry. He was also the first truly regular lover I had after surgery. Having sex with a partner several times a week quickly got me to the point of having orgasms during coitus. Scott is a good lover, and this helped me lots. He was good at playing with my anus while having sex with me, and this helped me lot to have orgasms while making love.
These days I'm actually more orgasmic in some ways than before surgery. I find that I can have more orgasms in a day than I had before. This might be because I not have to keep an erection while having sex. So this all has a happy ending, but please note that all this took a long time that wasn't not all pleasant. I fear that many transsexuals do not keep rubbing, penetrating, and playing with their new genitals. I suspect that exposing my pussy to sensation very frequently helped me gain the sexual sensations I have now. It is so easy to cross your legs and forget about this new arrangement of flesh in your groin when you are feeling numb, but I think that sort behavior does not encourage the mind to think of the new genitals as sexual.
I should comment on other things that may have helped me become orgasmic. I was only 22 when I had surgery, unusually young for reassignment surgery. Had I been middle-aged when getting this done, I'm not sure how it would have gone.
The vast majority of those who have surgery have no problem with blood loss. I was an exception. I lost enough blood after surgery that I was given a transfusion. My blood has normal clotting characteristics, so I asked the Doctor why I bled so much. He said that he couldn't be sure, but maybe I had more blood vessels and greater blood flow in my genitals than average. It has always been a pet theory of mine that extra blood flow might have helped me heal thoroughly.
Finally, let me say that I am a very sexual person. I have always enjoyed getting aroused, masturbating, and thinking about sex. If orgasms were not so exciting to me, I wouldn't have bothered to try to get sensation back into my pussy. For those of you planning on having sex reassignment surgery and really want to keep those orgasms coming, make sure you stay sexual after surgery. You might not feel sexy. You might feel tired, sore, or numb, but continue to fantasize and touch yourself anyway. That my simple recommendation. I can't say it will work for everybody, but I think it is common sense and unlike so many things, it won't cost you any money except for the cost of the occasional dirty book or magazine.
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