Alt.sex FAQ
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This edition of the alt.sex FAQ was written in the early part of 1994 by the last Alt.sex FAQ Committee. They reflect the best wisdom and knowledge of all the participants on the committee at that time.Since those days, however, alt.sex has been overrun by advertising spam of such unbelievable volume that nobody asks questions anymore. There are no "frequently asked questions" on the newsgroup and maintaining an FAQ for it, especially one of the considerable quality found here, is simply not worthwhile or even honest.
Consider this a historical document. It reflects alt.sex as it existed in its finest, most golden years. Some sections will never be out of date; it's hard to imagine good advice on oral sex or virginity or even buying a great sex toy ever going out of style. Anatomy doesn't change although our understanding of it might. Some sections, however, are dreadfully out of date; The sections on Sexually Transmitted Diseases, Legal Issues, even Terms and Acronyms have fallen far behind the times. For lists of current resources, Yahoo might be a better place to start.
Alt.sex will only remain a reasonably "civil" place if you want it to. Sexuality is always a touchy subject, and when someone wishes to discuss their own sexuality, please do not immediately flame them if their tastes don't match yours. Do as Emily Postnews recommends: stand up, take a deep breath, and relax. If you must reply, consider using the mail first.
Alt.sex is a general-purpose newsgroup for sexual discussion. Posting of stories isn't disallowed, although you may encounter strong discouragment from some quarters if you do.
That said, there are some images permitted even here. In the era of the Information Superhighway, small images (less than 320x200 pixels, for example) of contraceptive devices and other objects will go a long way towards eradicating the well-meaning but still crude attempts of ASCII artists. Future editions of the FAQ will include small B&W GIFS of a condom, diaphragm, sponge, female condom, and related materials, barring any major objections.
Before you write any email, think about what you're going to say. Don't say something you wouldn't say in person. Just because a woman admits she likes sex doesn't mean she wants to have it with you, and you shouldn't assume otherwise. Making alt.sex a safe place for men and women should be a top priority of anyone who wants to talk about sex in an honest and open manner.
If you can't find it there, you can find the (hopefully) latest version via ftp at:
ftp://rtfm.mit.edu/pub/usenet/alt-sex
If you can't do or don't know about ftp: there's also a mail server on that machine. Just send an e-mail message to:
mail-server@rtfm.mit.edu containing the word "help" in the body of the message.The alt.sex FAQ is also available via gopher and the WWW at the following locations:
gopher://quartz.ruters.edu/sex/alt-sex-faq
gopher://gopher.isnet.is/usenet/Frequently Asked Questions/alt-sex-faq
http://www.cis.ohio-state.edu/hypertext/faq/usenet/alt-sex/top.htm
http://www.halcyon.com/elf/altsex/
As for story archives, well, there used to be a few. Unfortunately, due to misuse by people, they are no longer around. In this section we used to mention a couple but they both shut down for the same reasons: irresponsible, immature, and greedy users over-used their services. When people misuse a service offered to them that service generally shuts down.
Therefore, there are currently no known ftp sites for stories or rec.arts.erotica. If any site ever dares to try to set up a ftp story archive again people should definitely learn to respect the system that is offering the archive and respect the wishes of the archive's maintainers.
There is a mail-server for alt.sex.bondage and alt.sex.stories right now, but that service won't last long if it is misused. Don't try to get the whole archive in one night! The easiest way to use the mail-server is to read the rest of this section and then send email to server@hermes.acm.rpi.edu with the word help as the first and only word in the body of the message and no subject. Scanning the subject line will be discontinued.
The server administrator is currently over a year behind in moving stories into the server. He is (or will be) including alt.sex.bondage, alt.sex.stories, and rec.arts.erotica. He is archiving stories and articles that he believes to be of general interest.
Anonymous ftp is not available to this machine and is NOT planned. If you have any questions or problems with the server, send email to server-admin@hermes.acm.rpi.edu. If you have trouble getting email to that address, try multics%acm.rpi.edu@rpi.edu.
Privacy/system logs: The server logs all incoming requests and all responses. This information is retained for a few days before being deleted. I normally check the logs at least once a day to try and find any server bugs/problems as early as possible. I don't care who you are or where you are unless you are extremely greedy in accessing the server.
Also in alt.binaries.pictures.erotica are often binary movies in various formats. Read the alt.binaries.pictures.* FAQs for more info. Due to the nature of Usenet, most pictures come in an UUENCODED format as well, and how to decode such pictures is also covered in the alt.binaries.pictures FAQ.
There is also a list of BBS' containing adult GIF files. The list is posted to alt.bbs.lists and alt.sex periodically. There are several hundred BBS' listed.
If you have access to FTP, Gopher, or the World Wide Web, the purity tests can be found at the following locations:
 (A)
 (B)
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The Vulva is the external sexual organ of women. The above view (A) shows the external view of the female vulva as normally seen when the woman is standing up. View (B) shows the vulva when it is opened, and from the top down one can clearly see the Veneris Mons, clitoral hood, clitoris, and labia minora. There are many questions about the vulva on alt.sex, and this FAQ will begin to attempt to answer some of these.
(A)
(B)
(C)
(D)
(E)The above illustrations show the area between the labia minora. From top to bottom can be clearly seen the clitoris, urethral opening, and vaginal opening. A, B, and C show vaginal openings with a normal hymen, a membrane that partially covers the opening. The hymen is the traditional "symbol" of virginity, although being a very thin membrane, it can be torn by vigorous exercise or the insertion of a tampon. Illustration D shows an imperforate hymen that completely closes the vagina; this rare condition requires surgical intervention to provide for a normal flow of blood once menstruation begins. Illustration E is of a vagina in a post-partum woman (one who has given birth).
The Grafenberg spot, or G-spot, is an area located within the anterior (or front) wall of the vagina, about one centimetre from the surface and one-third to one-half way in from the vaginal opening (see illustration and text). It is reported to consist of a system of glands (Skene's glands) and ducts that surround the urethra (Heath, 1984). Some authors write that you must press "deeply" into the tissue with two fingers to reach it with any effectiveness.
The significance of the G-spot is that some women (about half) report that it is a highly sensitive area that under the right conditions can be very pleasurable if stimulated. For some women, it can be a primary source of stimulation leading to orgasm during intercourse. Other women report no particular stimulation, and some say that it feels as if they need to urinate.
The G-Spot has been linked to the phenomenon known as female ejaculation. To date, there is little data about female ejaculation, although there is some speculation that it is the product of the Skene's glands.
Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS) is a rare but serious illness which can occur in men, women and children. About half the number of cases reported are associated with using tampons and affect a tiny number of women every year-- only about 1 out of every 1.5 million women who have periods. TSS can occasionally be fatal.
Toxic Shock Syndrome can be treated successfully providing it is recognised quickly, and most young people make a full recovery. Younger people may more at risk from the bacteria which are believed to cause this rare condition, because their immune system may not be fully developed.
In the unlikely event that you have these symptoms during your period--a high fever (over 102F or 39C), rash, vomiting, diarrhoea, sore throat, dizziness or fainting - you must remove your tampon and consult your doctor immediately. These symptoms can be early warning signs of TSS, which can develop very quickly and may seem like flu to begin with.
Do not worry about wasting the doctor's time and remember to say you have been wearing a tampon. Do not use tampons again without checking first with your doctor.
By using tampons correctly and following the advice below, you will reduce the risk of developing TSS.
 (A)  (B)  (C)
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The penis and scrotum are the external sexual organs of men. There are many questions about the penis on alt.sex, and this FAQ will attempt to begin to answer some of them.
According to the book Mandens Krop (which is translated from English,
but does not give the original title) the average is 15cm and 90% are between
13 and 18cm.
The records for
a fully functional penis are 1.5cm and 30cm.
This is probably one of the most frequently asked questions on alt.sex,
and that's a shame, because it's really a pointless question. Penis size
is important if and only if you think it is. If you have sex with men and
you desire a large penis, then penis size is important to you, and
only to you. If you feel your penis should be larger, then penis size is
important to you, and only to you.
Many women report
that too many men are hung up on the size of their penises. The vagina
is only eight to thirteen centimeters long, and even a small penis can
touch every square centimeter within the vagina.
Yes. There are two surgical procedures to increase penis size-- the
Bihari Procedure, and Fat Injection.
The Bihari Procedure
consists of cutting the ligament that secures the base of the penis to
the body. This gives between one-half and two inches of increased length
to the penis; however, because the penis is no longer anchored to the body
an erection no longer points 'up.'
Fat Injection
is the process of removing fat from the backs of the thighs and injecting
it into the body of the penis to make the penis thicker. Because the body
rejects a significant portion of the injection this procedure may need
to be repeated several times and each operation carries with it a severe
risk of infection.
According to Harold Reed, M.D., director of the Reed Centre for Ambulatory Urological Surgery in Bay Harbor, Florida, this is the correct way to measure the length of your penis:
First, while standing, get an erection. Okay, now gently angle your, er, equipment down until it is parallel to the floor. Set your ruler against your pubic bone just above the base of the penis, and measure to the tip. Thats how the doctors do it.
One-quarter of all penises bend in some direction and some bend downward
even when erect. Unless the bend is severe or causes you pain, there is
nothing wrong or abnormal about your penis. It should not interfere with
sexual intercourse. Some people report that a downward-bending penis is
easier to fellate.
In rare cases a condition called Peyrone's
Syndrome can arise from childhood diseases. This condition is caused by
scarring on one of the two corpora cavernosa within the penis, stunting
its effectiveness during erection and causing the penis to bend almost
90 degrees in that direction. If you feel this may be the case, consult
a urologist.
Male circumcision is the surgical removal of the foreskin from the
penis. When performed in a hospital, it is usually done shortly after
birth by a doctor or midwife. Circumcisions are also given to Jewish
boys by a mohel in a ceremony eight days after birth. Some
Islamic boys are circumcised when they are older, around age 12. The
majority of American boys are circumcised.
Common reasons for circumcision
include: better hygiene, "normal" or "better"
appearance, and "his penis should look like his father's."
Common reasons against circumcision include: it is no longer necessary
for hygienic reasons; it is a painful, barbaric practice; possibility of
infection or surgical error; "normal" or "better"
appearance; "his penis should look like his father's."; and
"greater sensitivity of uncircumcised penis."
Blue Balls is a real condition! The "correct" term for blue
balls is epididymitis, which is an inflammation of the epididymis.
In simple terms blue balls occurs when
the epididymis get blocked up with sperm that have left the testis but
not the penis. The vas deferns are the conduit for the sperm from the testis
to the urethra. When they get blocked you get pain. Why blue balls and
not "swollen balls," well maybe the connotation is that you balls
have the "blues", or maybe its because with all that swelling
some of the blood flow is restricted enough to cause some blueing of the
area because of pooling blood.
The prostate is about the size of a walnut in a normal man, and is immediately behind the rectal wall about three centimeters inside the anus. It can be felt by placing one finger within the anus and feeling along the anterior wall for a round bulb. For some men, touching or rubbing this spot is extremely pleasurable; a rare few can even orgasm through this technique. Others report that the touch is painful or makes them feel as if they need to urinate.
The alt.sex FAQ on anal sex answers this question in more detail.
What follows is not a set of rules. Rules about sex are impossible-- what should matter is that what you do makes you feel good. And "feeling good" should last past the sex itself-- you should not feel anxious afterwards about getting her pregnant or catching some horrible disease, so planning ahead about contraception and safe sex is part of the idea.
When you have sex doesn't really matter. What should matter instead is that you and your partner have sex when you are both comfortable. Some people prefer to make love at the break of dawn, some in the afternoon sun, some in the darkness of night. More important than time of day is the time you have to spend. Give yourself a lot of time to have sex the first time. A weekend is ideal, but at least the whole day, including sleep time.
Avoid eating a heavy meal, since that'll just make you sleepy. Eat light, don't drink too much alcohol, if any at all. It may help you shed inhibitions, but it may also make his erection much more difficult to achieve and you want to spend more time in the bedroom than the bathroom anyway, right?
Where you have sex is probably a more important decision. Finding a
place where you both can be private for up to forty-eight hours can be
difficult at that age where most people are planning on losing their virginity.
But it's worth it. Cars are no longer big enough to have sex in, and the
outdoors has less privacy, bugs, sand, and pine needles.
A bed is probably the best thing to
make love in, still. Hopefully you'll have a room to yourself, with all
the amenities that a bedroom affords, including heat, comfort, space, and
the bathroom. Take a shower together! If you're about to have sex, you've
probably had your hands all over each other before now. Get to know each
other's bodies. Take your time. That's what lovemaking is about.
Bring what you need to make you comfortable. Birth control, condoms, maybe your favorite pillow or a bathrobe.
You can't expect him to know what makes you feel good. You'll have to tell him or show him, and that may mean taking some of the initiative, taking his hands and placing them where they make you feel good. Go slow. If it's his first time, he may well be totally nervous about what you're about to do, and his penis may not respond at first. Patience, gentleness, and understanding are required to bring it back to life, and that may be hard for you to achieve, but that's why we told you to give yourselves lots of time.
You have probably heard horror stories about how much losing your virginity hurts. For a few women, it does, but with the right touch and the right partner, you should be able to take his penis into your body without pain. Have him take his time, use a lubricant, and press his fingers into you, opening you up slowly. Tell him when it feels good and when it hurts.
Many women prefer to have sex the first time being on top, where they can control the first entry. Others want to be on the bottom and give their lovers that control. Choose what's best for you. Just remember to tell him to go slow, take your time, and if you feel the need, use a commercial lubricant like KY Jelly.
It may sound funny, but your penis, which has worked great for years, may suddenly go on strike at your first chance at "real" sex. That's natural-- you're nervous. Take a deep breath. Do something else for a while with your hands, your lips and your tongue. Try to forget about your anxiety, and your penis will respond. It's only a temporary thing.
Many men think that because they're men, they should be in charge of the sex, regardless of who has the more experience. If you're a virgin and she's not, tell her, and let her lead if she wishes. This is as much a learning experience as a loving one. Don't be afraid to confess the truth. A lot of women would rather know that your fumbling is inexperience, rather than just sheer ineptitude, and will gratefully show you the ways of the world.
Don't worry about making orgasm simultaneous, either. Some women do not orgasm during intercourse, and even if your girlfriend is capable of climax, the odds are very much against you coming at the same time. Enjoy yourself, and rely on her to tell you the truth when she's enjoying herself.
If you actually climax much too soon before you wanted to, take your time, take a nap, and try again. The second time you should be much more relaxed and ready to take your time-- so will your penis.
Another common concern is size. The average penis is slightly more than
five and a half inches in length when erect, and that's more than enough
to hit every major nerve center in the vagina, the legendary G-spot included.
The vagina is capable of stretching to take a large penis, or shape itself
to pleasure a small one. Size has very little to do with your ability as
a lover.
Another common issue is shape. Some
men become concerned because their penis bends downwards, or to the left,
and assume that because they never see men like them in erotic movies that
they're not normal. Others worry that a downward bend will make sex difficult
or painful because the vagina isn't shaped with that bend in mind.
Keep in mind that sex can be performed
in any number of positions. The penis and vagina can be matched in many
different ways, and each new position can bring new pleasures to you and
your partner. Some people believe that a downward-bending penis is much
easier to perform oral sex upon.
Being a good lover doesn't happen automatically. With the right partner, time, care, and practice, you have everything you need to become a great lover. Your first times, for both you, will be fumbling and awkward, but hopefully they'll be the start of great times for the rest of your lives.
It is perhaps a shame that while we live in one of the most advanced cultures in the world and yet know so little about how to make each other happy in that most human of all endeavors, sex. With a few small additions to your sexual vocabulary you can break out of boredom and lead happier, more satisfying sex lives. Here in this FAQ we'll look at three important additions to one's sex life: position, time, and location.
Man on top.
Everybody starts out in
this so-called "missionary position": man on top, woman on the
bottom, face-to-face. It's where we were when most of us lost
our virginity. This position gets a lot of bad press these days
because it's "old-fashioned," or perhaps because it's "patriarchal."
Actually, there's nothing wrong with this position; it affords
excellent support for thrusting, close intimate contact between
lovers, and is an ideal position for conception. The woman may lie
with her legs spread wide and to the sides, or may draw them up to
her chest. In either position, the man cannot reach her vulva for
manual stimulation although in the first he can reach her breasts.
A variation on this position is for
the woman to sit in a chair or on the edge of a low bed, thus allowing
the man to kneel on the floor for thrusting. For heavyset men it can
reduce the weight he places upon his partner, and allows for both
partners to reach their genitals. Although technically regarded as
"superior" to traditional missionary position by many sex therapists,
most people who actually have sex feel this position is less
"intimate."
A third variant of man-on-top is one
in which the woman lies on her stomach and the man penetrates her from
behind. For many women, this position can stimulate the G-spot;
however, it can also cause the penis to strike the cervix, causing pain.
While this position has many of the disadvantages of any position where
two people are not face-to-face, it is still popular with some
couples.
Woman on top.
This position is highly recommended
in the few "how to lose your virginity" manuals still lying around,
mostly because it allows the woman to fully control the speed at which
sex occurs. There are several different positions classified as "woman
on top." The most common is that she straddles his hips, taking his
penis inside her, and then lies atop him, either with her legs bent or
stretched out. She may also choose to just sit straight up atop him,
sliding up and down; this position is both visually stimulating for the
man and allows him to play with her breasts freely.
Occassionally in adult movies one
may see this position done with the woman facing away from her partner.
While the sensations giving to both partners in this position are very
different and may be very stimulating, most people feel the loss of
intimacy involved is not worth the difference.
Sitting.
This position is for sex in slow motion; the angles are all wrong for any sort of vigorous thrusting. The man sits in a chair or cross-legged on the floor while the woman sits astride him, usually face-to-face although it can work equally well if she faces away. This position is good for caressing and intimacy. Some people recommend rocking chairs for this position.
Standing.
Reminiscent of "quickies" and illicit sex in alleyways, standing is
actually one of the more complicated positions to achieve, at least
face-to-face. Insertion can be difficult; standing, the vagina is
not tilted forward for easy access. Since women are on average
shorter than their male partners this position may require a short
footstool or convenient staircase step to make it possible. At any
rate, someone may want a friendly wall to hold both of them up during
this act.
Another variant of standing is
similar to the third one in man- on-top; the woman faces the wall or
bookcase or whatever she's using to hold herself up and the man
penetrates her vagina from behind. This position is considerably easier
than face-to-face standing, and many people like it for it's "naughty"
or "illicit" connotations.
Side-by-side
These positions all mirror the "on top" positions, except that the partners now lie on their sides on the bed. They can be achieved face-to-face, at an angle or from behind. The one difficulty with this position face-to-face is that someone has to rest their leg atop their partners; after only a few minutes this sometimes causes cramping and pain. Done when the woman faces away from the man, it can be slow, relaxing; one can almost fall asleep comfortably like this. In this position, it is known as "spooning." (The term applies mostly to the act of sleeping in that position, not necessarily the act of sex.)
Rear-entry
Although several positions already described can also be covered under this term, most people use this term to describe the position in which the woman kneels on her hands and knees while the man enters her from behind. Some people strongly dislike this position because of the lack of intimacy and the suggestion of male "dominance"; others like it for the freedom and strength that can be employed during the act of intercourse. The term "doggy style" has been employed to describe this position in the past, although this descriptive is inaccurate at best.
When should we have sex?
When you have sex is a decision you will start to make only after
you've gotten through the initial "all the time!" stage. Eventually,
though, any person will develop a habit of making love with a certain
pattern. Acquiring that pattern is the start of boredom; breaking
that pattern can be the road to a new discovery.
If you and your partner are prone to
making love only at night, try it for breakfast instead. Run home
during lunch for a quickie. No time is more significant to lovemaking
than any other, except that the time be good for both you and your
partner.
Where should we have sex?
In bed, to start with. Seriously, there is no "better" place to make
love than a bed. It's designed to hold people lying down; it's even
designed for them to be a little rambunctious.
However, like time of day, location
can become boring with repetition. Moving your sex life into a
different room can be as much of a change as night and day. For
starters, try the living room; most have a couch. Spread a blanket on
the floor, start a fire in the fireplace if you have one, feed each
other small, intimate snacks like grapes and champagne, and enjoy. A
quickie on the kitchen floor (so popular since Indecent Proposal) can be
fun as well.
What about the shower?
The shower, as well as the swimming pool, have their disadvantages. For one thing, lubricant doesn't last very long in environments of such overwhelming volumes of water. For another, usually the only position available is standing, with all of the attendant problems of differences in height. Another common problem is that the floor of most bathtubs is very slippery, especially if you spill lubricant on it! However, it's frequently the only place other than the bedroom where both of you are likely to be comfortable and naked, especially in winter. Don't let all the "problems" listed here stop you from trying out what could become one of your favorite places to make love.
And outdoors?
Having sex outdoors has its own challenges and rewards. Many people feel that sex outdoors is closer to nature; others feel it is more illicit, "in full view of the whole sky." If you're going to have sex outdoors in any position other than standing, plan ahead of time to bring a blanket. Avoid using bug spray and sun block until afterwards-- both taste awful. On the other hand, sunburns on your genitals can be excrutiating; take care.
Caveat lover...
Having sex in strange places is a turn-on for many. How strange a place you want to make love is a matter of some concern of course, since outside of the privacy of your own home, having sex in full view is likely to arouse the interest of the local constabulary. Getting arrested for public indecency is likely to catch the attention of your employer as well. Plan any such dalliances in advance and scope out your intended rendezvous point for possible problems, interruptions, and routes of escape if necessary. And whatever you do, put your used condoms and wrappers in the trash can; stopping litter isn't just good citizenship, here's it's a matter of sheer good taste.
Cunnilingus is the fine art of making love to a vagina with your mouth and tongue. It is a delicate skill, requiring patience, practice, and dedication to get it right, but any woman you learn to do it right for will appreciate you all the more for it.
What applies to the penis applies to the vulva-- every one is different, requiring a different touch to make its owner happy. But few tools can equal the tongue for the amount of pleasure it can deliver to a happy vagina.
This article assumes that you know what a vulva looks like and can identify with some precision the mons veneris, labia majora, clitoral hood, clitoris, labia minora, urethra, vagina, and perineum, to name them (approximately) from top to bottom.
This isn't an attack. Don't go after the clitoris like a fireman attacking
a fire. Quite often at first, the clitoris is far too sensitive for direct
stimulation. Lick around it, stimulating the hood, teasing her inner labia,
tasting her. Take your time and listen to her. Some women make noise,
and some do not. It will be a while before you learn exactly what your
lover prefers as far as oral sex is concerned.
Some women may like additional stimulation--
a finger or two into the vagina, or perhaps even the anus. She may want
your hands to reach up and play with her breasts, or she may want your
fingers to hold her labia apart so that your tongue can get at her vulva
more directly.
If the taste or smell bothers you or is a concern, ask her to wash first.
Most people who enjoy cunnilingus agree that a clean vagina is a good,
if acquired, taste.
As a woman nears her climax, she may
want more direct stimulation. In general, fast, rhythmic stimulation is
most effective at causing climax-- but there shouldn't be a rush to get
there. Take your time and learn to appreciate what you can do for her.
Some people are particularly turned off at the suggestion of cunnilingus during menstruation. If it is a concern to you, then wait. A tampon may well hold the blood back, as will a diaphragm, but some men can't stand the taste anyway. If your partner is healthy, however, there is no particular danger in menstrual blood, and some women find that orgasms during their periods allievate cramps.
Fellatio, giving head, giving a blow-job. Many men love this kind of
stimulation, and many people, both women and men, like giving it. Fellatio
is the act of applying your lips to a man's penis with the purpose of giving
him pleasure.
There are few tips to fellatio that
can be given other than practice. The lips and the tongue are the major
sources of stimulation, and it is with the lips and tongue that you should
apply the attention to make him feel good. Both men and women respond well
to pressure and rhythm. A steady, strong stroke will be enough to get the
reaction you're looking for.
If the smell isn't something you enjoy, then tell him to go take a shower! While this is something you're doing primarily for his pleasure, that doesn't mean you have to suffer if he's lacking in hygiene! And if you're worried about germs, your mouth has millions more germs than a clean penis.
Deep throating is the act of taking the penis down past your gag reflex. In reality, this particular sexual adventure is very overrated. The best way to give fellatio is still with the lips and tongue, taking only as much as you can without gagging. However, for those that want to know, the basic lesson is still practice. Take the penis as far as you can without choking, and then close your eyes and concentrate, taking each quarter inch, telling yourself that you won't choke, that you can take it out at any time, and slowly swallow it down. Then rise off of it just as slowly.
Every penis is different, and each has its sensitive spots and its preferred ways of being handled. Listen to your lover. The sounds he makes and the feel of his body tensing are your best clues that you're going this right.
Feel free to grasp with your hands whatever of the penis you can't fit into your mouth. Many men like as much stimulation as possible, and the feel of a wet mouth and a saliva-slicked hand are enough to send them to the brink of orgasm very quickly.
Some people feel that the best position to perform oral sex is the 69 position, where each partner lies with their head by the other's genitals. For fellatio, this even makes sense-- most penises curve upwards, towards the head, and in this position that curve matches the curve of the throat. However, it is difficult to both perform and appreciate oral sex at the same time. Try the position, or kneel by his body, but at least in the beginning do one thing at a time.
Which brings us to a sensitive issue: swallowing ejaculate. For many men, this is important to them-- they like to feel that by swallowing their semen, you complete this act of lovemaking and accept a part of themselves into your body. But many people don't like the taste of semen and can't bring themselves. Talk about this beforehand-- let him know if you can't handle it, and that it's not personal.
Macrobiotic nutritionists have actually done research on this question,
and the answer is in: you are what you eat. Common sense dictates that
if you taste good, your lover will want to eat you more often, so improving
your body's taste and smell should be important to you.
In general, nutritionsists say that
alkaline-based foods such as meats and fish produce a butter, fish taste.
Dairy products, which contain a high bacterial putrefaction level create
the foulest tasting fluids by far. (Dissent: almost everyone I know says
that there is one worse than a high-dairy content-- asparagus. You can't
miss the taste of asparagus-laced semen.) Acidic fruits, such as sweets,
fruits, and alcohol give bodily fluids a pleasant, sugary flavor. Chemically
processed liquors will cause an extremely acidic taste, however, so if
you're going to drink alcohol, drink high-quality, naturally fermented
beers (Rolling Rock or Kirin) or sake.
The question of semen content arises especially among persons who regularly
swallow semen, as in fellatio, and who are concerned about calorie intake
and nutritional substances. The average ejaculate contains aboutonia, ascorbic
acid, blood-group antigens, calcium, chlorine, cholesterol, choline, citric
acid, creatine, deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA), fructose, glutathione, hyaluronidase,
inositol, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, purine,
pyrimidine, pyruvic acid, sodium, sorbitol, spermidine, spermine, urea,
uric acid, vitamin B12, and zinc.
The caloric content of an average ejaculate
is estimated to be approximately 15 calories.
There is only one true way to do fellatio, and that's with enthusiasm. You have to love what you're doing to him, either because you love him or you love sucking cock. Loving both is best! Faked orgasms have nothing on lackluster fellatio.
For many people, anal sex is the ultimate taboo. Buttfucking makes it
sound crude and dirty, sodomy sounds technical. In the 1990's, anal sex
has been given the bad rap because HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, is
most easily transmitted by anal intercourse.
But some people
love anal sex. Others hate it. Others haven't tried it yet and are curious.
And many people are attracted to it precisely because it's so taboo and
mysterious.
One other part of the body that some people enjoy licking, or having licked, is the anus. The anus has half the nerve endings in the pelvic region and many people find touching it to be sexually arousing. Although we haven't mentioned safer sex yet as part of this series, we will here: the anus and rectum carry many diseases that live quite benignly in your lower digestive tract, but which can be harmful in your mouth or stomach. Performing anilingus is a very risky behavior for a variety of bacterial infections. Refer to the section on safer sex techniques for ways to protect yourself if you or your partner enjoys this activity.
Anal sex should not hurt. If it hurts, you're doing it wrong. With enough lubricant and enough patience, it's entirely possible to enjoy anal sex as a safe and fulfilling part of your sex life. However, some people may never like it, and if your lover is one of those people, respect their limits. Don't force the idea upon them.
The pleasure of anal sex is derived from many things. Doing something "nasty" appeals to many people, especially about sex. Doing something different to spice up a sex life that has become something of a bore can be part of it. And the physical sensations available during anal sex are uniquely different from anything else. The rectum is lined with nerve endings, some of which signal the brain to 'reward' you with good feelings when stimulated. For men, the prostate gland can be a source of powerful pleasure. And for a thrusting penis, the ring of the anus can be a new and strong sensation to enjoy.
The most important pieces of advice anyone can give on anal sex are:
lubricants, condoms, and patience. The most commonly available lubricant
is KY-Jelly, a greaseless, odorless substance available at most drug stores.
Better lubricants include Astroglide, ID, Wet, or ForePlay, some of which
are available at better drug stores, and most of which are available in
some form at adult toy stores.
Do not buy anything that is
oil-based. Make sure the lubricant you buy is rated "condom compatible."
Nothing else will do. Oil- based lubricants such as vaseline or baby oil
will destroy a condom long before you're done having sex. And many oil-based
sub- stances will coat the lining of the rectum, providing a haven for
many potential infections.
Even if you're sure that both you and your partner are disease- free, you should still use a condom. The rectum is home to lots of infectious bacteria that can cause burning and urethritis of the penis. It will also help you clean up afterwards.
Anal sex should not be messy. Most first-timers fear that it will be, but most people can tell when they have to go. A condom will help with cleanup, of course, and if you're really concerned, a commercial enema, like Fleet, will help beforehand.
Patience is the third and final thing you need to make anal sex possible.
Initial penetration is always the most difficult part of anal sex-- the
anus is a tight ring of flesh at the opening of the rectum designed to
control the elimination of bodily waste. It is partially under voluntary
control, and partially reflexive to stimulation. Your partner has to relax,
and you have to go slow to coax it into opening enough to recieve your
penis.
Start with a well-lubricated finger
or a slim (smaller than your penis) dildo. The dildo is more realistic,
but your fingers can flex and feel what they're doing inside her ass. Slide
one finger in slowly, letting her adjust to it. Take your finger all the
way out, then push it back in again. Give her anus time to get used to
this kind of activity. Then slide a second finger in. Consider how big
your penis is and realize that two fingers is probably enough.
For actual intercourse, picking a position can be important. Many women
want to be on top, to regulate how fast penetration occurs. Other like
to lie on their stomachs, or crouch doggy-style, or to be penetrated while
lying on their sides. Choose what's best before you start.
As always, control yourself. Take your
time and use lots of lubricant. People who like anal sex say that "too
much lube is almost enough." Listen to her-- if she tells you it starts
to hurt, back off.
Eventually, a time will come during
your lovemaking where her anus will relax enough to allow the head of your
cock to 'pop' into her. If she is completely relaxed, that pop should feel
completely painless. Now just because you're inside her is no reason to
start pounding away like mad. Let her body adjust. Take your time. Eventually
you will both be ready for more.
It is not technically possible to get pregnant from anal sex; there
is no way for semen to get from the rectal tract to the vaginal tract.
However, anal sex is still not a very
good method of birth control. Semen leaking from the anus after intercourse
may drip across the perineum (the short stretch of skin separating vulva
and anus) and cause what is known as a 'splash' conception. The failure
rate for this is surprisingly high! 8% of couples of who use anal sex as
a method of birth control have babies each year.
You may find that anal sex just isn't for you. That's fine. Nothing says that you have to indulge in something that doesn't make you feel good.
In theory, almost anything can take the role of a "sex toy." Other than two human bodies, anything else introduced into sex play qualifies as either prophylaxis (contraception and disease prevention) or recreation, i.e., a toy. For our purposes, a sex toy is any object brought into sex play to enhance the pleasure of both people involved.
There was some debate as to the question "what is a sex toy?" for the purposes of this FAQ. Some argued that this FAQ should cover those items that are only specifically for sex, whereas others rightly pointed out that that would exclude from discussion some very popular forms of sexual enhancement such as lingere' or food. For our purposes, a sex toy will be anything that is either specifically intended for sexual enhancement or commonly used for same. We're sure there are people out there that find mountain goats, hand puppets, and Un*x System Administration manuals suitable for sexual enhancement, but that's not "common."
Vibrators come in three distinct 'types'. Many women find satisfaction in this most common (and more often thought of), the classic penis-shaped, battery powered shaft of plastic. These suffer, however, from a lack of real power and inconvenient battery death.
The second type of vibrator, the 'wand' vibrator, overcomes these problems with wall current. These large, club-shaped vibrators provide LOTS of stimulation, and wall current provides all the power you could ask for, but the designers apparently intended for people not to view these things as sex toys, but as "personal massagers," and the ungainliness of these things reflects that.
The third type of vibrator, the 'handle' or 'coil' type, looks vaguely like a small hairdryer with a small, perpendicular shaft out of the thicker end to accommodate a variety of soft plastic or latex heads. The best of all possible worlds, these vibrators never die, fit in one hand, and can provide a variety of sensations.
Shower Massagers make a wonderful variation on the classic vibrator, and if you enjoy the warmth and wetness of the tub, you probably want to consider investing in a shower massager. Like the wand and handle vibrators, shower massagers have a host of uses beyond masturbation, too!
Don't make buying a vibrator a traumatizing experience. If you MUST have one of those penis-shaped things, most lingerie shops carry them. But most department stores sell the 'wand' or 'handle' vibrators under the guise of "personal massagers," and buying one from reputable department stores means a warranty, you can return it if unsatisfied, and it won't have "Doc Johnson's Love Machine" emblazoned across it in pink letters in case mother comes to visit.
Before using any mechanical vibrator, apply lubrication! Your lover probably does not rank friction burns in the same category as love bites. Use a water-based lubricant, such as K-Y (always recommended), Astroglide, or Wet.
Do not purchase a vibrator specifically designed to deliver heat to the body as a sexual device. If they work on muscles, great, but don't use them on your cunts and cocks. I know of at least one case where a woman burned herself with one of these things because her climaxes were so strong she didn't notice how much the heater had burned her.
Nobody knows how to masturbate YOU better than you do, and the same rule applies to everybody else. Don't use a vibrator on someone else until you've watched them use it on themselves, preferably several times. Men, especially, should watch how their girlfriends or wives use the vibrator alone before taking the reins.
No mechanical piece of plastic can replace the love and affection of a human being; try to see the vibrator as just another toy, and not as competition. Vibrators cannot do the dishes or take out the garbage, and they cannot gives hugs or kisses.
Some women do experience a temporary 'desensitization' after the effects of a powerful vibrator, but put the toy away for a week and sensitivity returns to normal. There is no clinical evidence that vibrators cause long-term desensitization.
Should you buy a vibrator? That's a decision only you can make; I personally have bought two for my wife, and a shower massage, and they've made our sex life a whole lot better, not worse. As always, your mileage may vary.
Dildo: An artifical substitute for an erect penis
(Websters')
Dildos come in many different shapes and sizes, but all of them are meant to do one thing: in some way, shape, or form, they are meant to be a substitute or symbol for a real penis. If you are inclined to believe Freud, then the Washington Monument could be considered a dildo. For our purposes, though, a dildo is a sex toy, usually made of latex or silicone, designed to be inserted into some bodily orifice for sexual pleasure.
People use dildos for a variety of purposes. Although most women can orgasm through clitoral stimulation, many do enjoy the feeling of something hard and thrusting inside them during masturbation. Many men, gay or otherwise, feel the same way, using small (or as your tastes go, large) dildos for anal stimulation. A dildo can be used with a harness to give a woman a penis she can thrust with and still keep her hands free.
Buying a dildo involves a number of factors, such as length, thickness, hardness and texture. It is strongly recommended that you comparison shop with your hands, looking for one with a smooth surface made of a firm, but not too firm, latex. Dildo shopping is a very personal activity, and you should take your time buying one.
The two most common materials for a dildo are silicone and latex. Silicone is usually more expensive, but most people who use dildos regularly agree that its qualities of matching body temperature and its general texture make it the superior material. As with anything, you get what you pay for.
The most important thing to remember is that you should start small. Buy dildos you *know* you can probably handle, rather than ones you hope to be able to handle. Get your money's worth out of any toy you buy.
A butt plug is a kind of dildo with a bulge in the center, much like a spindle, so that the shaft gradually thickens, flares out, and then begins to narrow again.
In general, once inside the rectal cavity, the flare of a well- chosen buttplug will rub directly against those nerve clusters by the opening of the anus, the ones which signal your need to defecate. Depending upon how your brain is wired, denying or understanding this signal can be a very pleasurable experience, or an extremely uncomfortable one. Also, the 'tip' of the well-chosen buttplug will rub against a man's prostate when he moves, sending yet more signals of unknown quality to the brain. It's all in what you like.
Other forms of "butt-plugs" are known as doorknobs or pearlstrings. A doorknob is a round sphere of latex mounted on a narrower shaft. Like a buttplug, it 'plugs' the orifice, but the sensations are different. A pearlstring is a series of spheres that can be anywhere from a half inch to three inches in diameter that you use to 'stuff' the rectum to create a feeling of fullness.
A cock ring is an object that typically goes around the base of both the penis and scrotum. Since veins are closer to the surface of the skin than arteries, this has the effect of allowing blood to flow into the penis but restricts its ability to flow outwards. In turn, this makes the penis get hard and stay hard for longer. Obviously, for this to work a cock ring must be put on when the penis is unerect.
Most cock rings are made of chromed steel or rubber. In fact, most of them are little more than high-priced gasket rings or chrome- plated circular chain links one could buy at any hardware store. They have to be chosen carefully, sized for the user. A too-loose cock ring does nothing, a too-tight cock ring cuts off all retreating blood flow, thus preventing the cock from ever getting soft, which may sound like fun but can become painful after two or more hours, and which may require a trip to the emergency room to remove. Some cock rings that get around this problem are made with snaps at different places along a strap of leather, therefore making it easy to size and to remove.
The best cock rings are even simpler. They're a piece of leather or soft rope tied into place. (7oz leather lace is the author's favorite, followed by 1/4" nylon rope.) Being both infinitely adjustable and easy to remove or cut off with a pair of nurses shears, they serve all the purpose of the toy- or hardware- store bought models.
Putting on a solid cock ring can be tricky-- and taking it off can be even trickier! You have to be soft to do either, putting first your testicles through the ring, and then your penis, since at that stage your penis should be softer and more flexible than the always- solid testes. Taking it off is the reverse process, but since one of the purposes of a cock ring is to keep you hard, this can be easier said than done.
Spanish fly is a powder of ground up wings of the CANTHARIS VESICATORIA beetle, found in the deserts of Spain and the Southwest United States. It has the effect of irritating the outer mucous membranes of the vagina and the penis glans (head), thus bringing your genitals to your attention and sometimes giving you the impression that you are 'aroused.' Women may also experience lubrication as a response to this irritation. However, the body is not actually stimulated, and intercourse is probably painful under these conditions, although it may sometimes help to scratch what really *is* an itch, and not desire.
Spanish fly is also quite poisonous, and therefore illegal in the United States. Dosage is very hard to determine, as is quality, and you're just as likely to die from Spanish fly as you are to get laid.
What is sold as "spanish fly" in the United States is usually sold with the terms "spurious" or "placebo." I suggest you go look these words up before buying anything with these words on the package. Most "Spanish Fly" is nothing more than a cheap blend of vitamins or simply a sugar pill.
A "lubricant," (sometimes referred to as a "sex lube," or just "lube,") is usually a water-based, condom-friendly liquid or jelly used to enhance or replace a woman's natural lubrication. Some people regard lubricants as a must-have item in this age of safer sex and they are an essential ingrediant to successful anal intercourse. The use of a lubricant on the inside of a condom can make the sensations delivered to the penis much stronger.
Prior to the current, safer-sex era, many people used oil-based lubricants, using vaseline or mineral oil. Neither of these are particularly healthy; petroleum-based oils destroy latex upon contact, making them useless for use with condoms. Oils also coat the inside of the vagina and rectum, providing a breeding ground for dangerous bacteria. Even monogamous couples who don't have to worry about safer sex should avoid using oils for this reason, as well as one other: if it destroys the latex of condoms, it will also destroy the latex of diaphragms, cervical caps, and sponges, as well as the protective coatings around some IUDs.
Most lubricants are made up of one or (more commonly) several of the following: glycerin, hydroxyethyl cellulose, or propelyene glycol. Some add aloe vera or vitamin E acetate. All add a pH balancing agent, and most have some sort of preservative, since the first three items are all essentially food additives, "thickening agents." Look at a container of Slime in a toy store-- the same three primary ingredients.
Although the most common brand of sex lubricant is still "KY Jelly," you should be aware that KY is intended for single-use medical environments; the insertion of a thermometer or catheter, for example, and is deliberately forumlated to break down quickly. This is not good for situations where the lubricant is expected to last a long time, such as during intercourse.
The names of other common brands are: Wet, ForPlay, ID, Slip, Probe, Pride, Aqualube, Astroglide, and Elbow Grease. Both Wet and Elbow Grease also make oil-based lubricants "for masturbation purposes only," so read the label carefully before you buy. These are just a few of many lubricants on the market.
"Best lubricant" is a non-sequitor, since lubricant choice is as personal to taste as food. Some people like it thick, others runny, others need it to be slick enough to grease their engines and others need it to last long enough to go for hours. Small sampler bottles (1 oz.) are available for a dollar apiece-- buy one of each and try them out. Figure out which one you like best.
There is some debate about this, but one thing is hard to deny: clothing is sexy. Whether it's a silk nightgown from Victoria's Secret, a military uniform, the leather jacket of a biker or the riding clothes of an equestrienne, some form of clothing is usually someone else's ideal of "sexy clothing."
Fetish wear is usually clothing made of leather, latex, or rubber cut in a specific style to accentuate the body and show it off in a sexually arousing fashion. Fetish wear is a specific genre of clothing and as recognizable as such as swimwear or lingere. Fetish wear's most common characteristic is price; the stuff's expensive. Remember that it is only a fad, after all, and will be as out of style as the discowear of the 1970's. Eventually.
That depends entirely on who you and your lover are. If you like your lover to wear silk, say so-- hopefully they'll enjoy the suggestion. Leather, denim, uniform clothing-- allow your imagination to run wild. A more outrageous suggestion is period clothing, such as the 1920's, or the 1400's. And even further out, one could suggest wearing masks to allow fantasy to run riot-- animal masks are a popular item in this field.
Many lingere shops actively sell food items-- whipped cream, powdered honey, flavored jellies and jams. I guess the idea is that if they're sold in lingere shops they must be sexy. Many romances start over dinner, and cooking for someone can be as intimate, or as traumatic, as having sex with them.
While almost any kind of food can be sexy, some are more traditional than others. Sweets, such as chocolates, are actual tokens of affection, exchanged on Saint Valentine's day as well as other occassions. In the bedroom, chocolate can be spread on the body and licked off. The same is true of honey or any other spreadable substance. Whipped cream is another popular food item. And a small spill of champagne over the vulva can take care of any concerns one might have about the taste-- for a little while, at least.
Fruits can be sexual as well-- bananas are often compared to penises (or the other way around) because of their shape and size. Xaveria Hollander, "The happy hooker," once referred to peaches as "the fruit that looks most like a woman's vulva." And grapes, fed one at a time, are a staple of B-movies about decadent, imperial Romans.
Almost anything edible can be sexy. At least two movies in recent times have depicted sushi as sexy. Placing doughnuts around a man's erect penis and then eating them off can be an act of trust.
Be aware that any sugary substance placed into the vagina will vastly increase the chance of a yeast infection. It is best to avoid getting chocolate, honey, and the like into the vagina.
Disclaimer: Nothing in this FAQ is intended to be taken as a recommendation or endorsement of illegal substance use. It is the intention of this FAQ to accurately report the effects of those substances that its readers may choose to use upon their sexual functioning, both positive and negative.
The only "legal" drug in this short list of mind-altering chemicals, alcohol is widely available in most of the known world. Alcohol is primarily a depressant, although it small doses it may cause free-association that leads to violence where hostility already exists. Alcohol is used in a sexual context to "loosen one up," overcoming inhibitions to proceed to the sexual act itself; however, it's depressant effect may also cause temporary impotence.
Also known as "poppers," "Rush," "Locker Room," or "Head Cleaner." Currenly controlled in the US, although designer variants of butyl nitrite, isobutyl nitrite, and cyclohexyl nitrite are still available in some states. This drug relaxes the smooth muscles of the vascular system, resulting in a momentary "rush" that is primarly the result of oxygen depravation to the brain. Also relaxes the vaginal and anal sphincters and was once popular with gay men for that effect. Produces intense headaches in about a quarter of all users.
Sex on cocaine is frequently described as "the most intense in the world." (Of course, that's said about crystal methamphetamine, too.) Cocaine elevates the perceived effect of arousal, both male and female. Depression is a common post-high effect. Chronic use leads to full-blown paranoia, psychological dependancy, and impotence.
There is a lot of controversy over marijuana, and has been touted as "the most powerful aphrodisiac in the world." But neither marijuana nor any other drug will create passion where there is none to begin with. Many people who have used marijuana during sex have reported enhanced sensations, longer durations, and increased arousal. However, marijuana may also make sex more difficult because of its tranquilizing effect.
Lysergic Acid Diethylamide. A powerful psychedelic, most people who have tried to have sex under the influence of LSD have stated that their nervous systems were far too overloaded with basic sensations to try and engage in anything as complex as sex. For those who have succeeded, however, the effect as with all LSD experiences-- depending on setting and preconceptions about the experience, it can be exhilirating or terrifying.
Bill passed unanimously "aimed at weirdos and queers who live in a fairyland world and are trying to wreck family life." Signed into law by governor in 1977.
Upheld as to homosexuals on the grounds that there is no fundamental federal constitutional right to "engage in sodomy." Bowers v. Hardwick, 478 U.S. 186 (1986).
First state to repeal sodomy laws, in 1961.
Earlier effort to repeal said legalization might "give us an opportunity to study it more openly, and to see what causes it, in the hope that we can eventually eliminate it."
Held unconstitutional by Orleans Parish Court, appeal pending.
Found not to apply to noncommercial, hetrosexual activity in private. Schochet v. State, 1990.
Crime Against Nature applies only to anal intercourse. Unnatural and Lascivious Acts has been held not apply to private consensual adult behavior. Commonwealth v. Balthazar, Supreme Judicial Court 1974. It has been suggested that such a ruling would apply to Crime Against Nature.
Held unconstitutional as applied to private, consensual adult behavior. Michigan Organization for Human Rights v. Kelly (Wayne County Circ. Ct. 1990), no appeal taken, only applies to Wayne County. Held consitutional by Michigan Court of Apeals (People v. Brashier) 1992, effective outside of Wayne County. Decision is needed from the Michigan Supreme Court.
Minnesota's law also prohibits sex between humans and birds.
A 1977 effort to repeal sodomy laws was met with a vote-delaying "chorus of giggles."
The law actually legislates the "abominable crime of buggery." No further statutory explaination given.
In 1982, the Republican State Convention added a plank to its platform stating that homosexuals should be denied the civil, political, social, and economic rights guaranteed to others.
| Alabama | 16 |
| Alaska | 16 |
| Arizona | 18 |
| Arkansas | 16 |
| California | 18 |
| Colorado | 16 |
| Connecticut | 16 |
| D.C. | 16 |
| Delaware | 16 |
| Florida | 18 |
| Georgia | 16 |
| Hawaii | 16[3] |
| Idaho | 18 |
| Illinois | 16 |
| Indiana | 16 |
| Iowa | 14 |
| Kansas | 16 |
| Kentucky | 14[1] |
| Louisiana | 17 |
| Maine | 14 |
| Maryland | 16 |
| Massachusetts | 18 |
| Michigan | 16 |
| Minnesota | 16 |
| Mississippi | 18[2] |
| Missouri | 16 |
| Montana | 16 |
| Nebraska | 16 |
| Nevada | 16 |
| New Hampshire | 16 |
| New Jersey | 16 |
| New Mexico | 13 |
| New York | 17 |
| North Carolina | 16 |
| North Dakota | 18 |
| Ohio | 16 |
| Oklahoma | 18 |
| Oregon | 18 |
| Pennsylvania | 14 |
| Rhode Island | 16 |
| South Carolina | 16 |
| South Dakota | 16 |
| Tennessee | 18 |
| Texas | 17 |
| Utah | 14 |
| Vermont | 15 |
| Virginia | 16 |
| Washington | 18 |
| West Virginia | 16 |
| Wisconsin | 18 |
| Wyoming | 18 |
| Method | Theoretical or Perfect Use Failure Rate | Typical Use Failure Rate in Typical Users | Potential Negative Side Effects | Potential Advantages to Users | Possible Causes of Failure That Could Result in Pregnancy |
| Abstinence | 0% | ? | Sexual frustration. Avoiding planning for eventual use of contraception. | No cost or health risks. Freedom from worry about pregnancy. | Inability to continue abstaining. |
| Withdrawal (coitus interruptus) | 4% | 19% | Inability to fully relax during sexual intercourse and not be on guard. Frustration created by inability to ejaculate in the vagina. | No cost or preparation involved. No risks to health (if sexually transmitted diseases are absent). Available even if no other methods are. | Lack of ejaculatory control, causing ejaculation in vagina. Ejaculating semen too close to vaginal opening after withdrawing. Sperm present in pre-ejaculatory fluid from the penis (even more likely if intercourse is repeated within a few hours). |
| Natural Family Planning/Fertility Awareness (Rhythm Method) | 1-9% | 20% | Sexual frustration during periods of abstinence. | Accepted by Roman Catholic Church. May be used to increase chances of pregnancy if that choice is made. No health risks. | Inadequate time devoted to charting female's menstrual cycle or misunderstanding of method. Ovulation at an unexpected time in the cycle. Deciding to have intercourse during the unsafe period of the cycle, without other contraception. |
| Combined Oral Contraceptive (birth control pill containingestrogen and progestin) | 0.1% | 3% | Nausea, weight gain, fluid retention, breast tenderness, headaches, missed menstrual periods, acne. Mood changes, depression, anxiety, fatigue, decreased sex drive. Circulatory diseases. Gastrointestinal disorders. | Reliable; offers protection all the time. Brings increased regularity to menstrual cycle. Tends to reduce menstrual cramping. | Not taking pills as directed or skipping a pill. Improper supervision by clinician. Ceasing taking the pills for any reason. |
| Minipill (progestin only) | 0.5% | 3% | Irregular menstrual periods are a common side effect. Bleeding between menstrual periods. Appearance of ovarian cysts. | Safer for older women. Reliable; offers protection all the time. Brings increased regularity to menstrual cycle. Tends to reduce menstrual | Not taking pills as directed or skipping a pill. Improper supervision by clinician. Ceasing taking the pills for any reason. |
| Norplant implants | 0.09% | 0.09% | Slight visibility of implants. Menstrual cycle irregularities. Improper insertion or difficult removal. May have risks similar to pills, but research is incomplete. | Long-term protection. Extremely reliable. Requires no attention after initial treatment. | Use beyond a 5-year period. Gaining a significant amount of weight (less effective in women over 155 lbs.). |
| Depo-Provera injections | 0.3% | 0.3% | Weight gain. Excessive bleeding. Menstrual cycle irregularities. Increased depression. Decrease in sex drive. May be associated with slight increase in breast cancer risk for younger women, but research is incomplete. | 3-month protection. Extremely reliable. | Neglecting to get reinjected after 3 months. |
| Sponge (contains spermicide) Note: Manufacture of this method was discontinued in 1995 | 9-20% | 18-36% | Increased risk of toxic shock syndrome. Allergic reaction to polyurethane or spermicide. Vaginal dryness. Increased risk of vaginal yeast infections. | Ease of use. Relatively inexpensive. Protection over 24 hours, several acts of intercourse. No odor or taste. | Difficulty in proper insertion and placement. Internal anatomical abnormalities that interfere with placement or retention. |
| Cervical cap with Spermicide | 6% | 18% | Possible risk of toxic shock syndrome. Allergic reaction to rubber or spermicide. Abrasions or irritation to vagina or cervix. | Can be left in place for long periods of time. | Improper fitting or insertion/placement. Deterioration by oil-based lubricants or vaginal medications. |
| Spermicidal Foam, Cream, Jelly, Suppositories, or Film | 6% | 21% | Allergic reactions to chemical. Unpleasant taste of chemical during oral-genital sex. | Available without prescription. Minimal health risks. Easy to carry and use. s, Does not require partner | Slippage of outer rim into vagina during intercourse. Twisting of pouch during intercourse. |
| Male Condom | 3% | 12% | Allergic reactions to latex (natural "skin" condoms are also available and nonlatex rubber condoms will soon be available as well). Some reduction in sensation on the penis. | Available without prescription. Offers protection from sexually transmitted diseases. A method for which the man can take full responsibility. Easy to carry and use. | Breakage of condom. Not leaving space at tip of condom to collect sperm. Lubrication with petroleum jelly, or presence of some vaginal medications, weakening rubber condom. Seepage of semen around opening of condom or condom slipping off in the vagina after coitus. Storing of condom for more than 2 years or in temperature extremes. Not placing condom on penis at beginning of intercourse. |
| Female Condom (Vaginal Pouch) | 5% | 21-26% | Some reduction in sensations of intercourse. Relatively high rate of contraceptive failure. Sometimes makes noises. | Allows woman to choose protection from disease, along with contraception. Available without prescription. | Slippage of outer rim into vagina during intercourse. Twisting of pouch during intercourse. |
| Diaphragm | 6% | 18% | Allergic reaction to the rubber (plastic diaphragms are also available) or spermicide. Increased risk of toxic shock syndrome. Bladder infection or vaginal soreness because of pressure from rim. | Negative side effects are rare. Inexpensive; can be re-used. | Improper fitting or insertion of the diaphragm. Removal of diaphragm too soon (within 6-8 hours of coitus). Not using sufficient amount of spermicidal jelly with the diaphragm. Leakage in or around diaphragm or slippage of of diaphragm. Deterioration by oil-based lubricants or vaginal medications. |
| Intrauterine Device (IUD): Progesterone T (Progestasert) Copper T 380A Levonorgestrel | 1.5% 0.6% 0.1% | 2% 0.8% 0.1% | Uterine cramping, abnormal bleeding, and heavy menstrual flow. Pelvic inflammatory disease or perforation of the uterus during insertion of the IUD; also violent allergic reaction; infection of the ovaries. | Reliable. Can be left in place, so that nothing must be remembered or | Failure to notice that IUD has been expelled by uterus. |
| Vasectomy | 0.1% | 0.15% | Psychological implications of being infertile can sometimes lead to some sexual problems. | Permanent; no other preparations. Very reliable. Minimal health risks. | Having unprotected intercourse before reproductive tract is fully cleared of sperm following vasectomy (may be several months). Healing together of the two cut ends of the vas deferens. |
Activity Chance of Death in a Year
Risks for men and women of all ages who participate in:
Motorcycling 1 in 1,000
Automobile driving 1 in 6,000
Power boating 1 in 6,000
Rock climbing 1 in 7,500
Playing football 1 in 25,000
Canoeing 1 in 100,000
Risks for women aged 15 to 44 years:
Using Tampons 1 in 350,000
Having sexual intercourse (PID) 1 in 50,000
Preventing pregnancy:
Using birth control pills
nonsmoker 1 in 63,000
smoker 1 in 16,000
Using IUDs 1 in 100,000
Using diaphragm, condom or spermicide NONE
Using fertility awareness methods NONE
Undergoing sterilization:
Laparoscopic tubal ligation 1 in 67,000
Hysterectomy 1 in 1,600
Vasectomy 1 in 300,000
Continuing pregnancy 1 in 14,300
Terminating Pregnancy:
Illegal abortion 1 in 3,000
Legal abortion
Before 9 weeks 1 in 500,000
Between 9-12 weeks 1 in 67,000
Between 13-15 weeks 1 in 23,000
After 15 weeks 1 in 8,700
The source is the 1990-1992, 15th Revised Edition of
Contraceptive Technology. Authored by too many doctors to
cite. However, this book is used by millions of doctors
around theworld as an authority on contraception. Its
authors gather their sources from data published by several
different statistic gathering organizations (such as the
Centres for Disease Control) and then compile and interpret
it in their book. Happy Reading.
The average diaphragm costs about 20-30 dollars, but it must first be sized and fitted by a gynecologist, so there is the cost of a doctor's fee. Must be replaced every two years to ensure correct fit and product lifespan. A tube of Gynol II costs around 11 dollars and is good for 24 doses of spermicide.
The major disadvantage to the diaphragm is that it must be used one of two ways; either it is inserted before any sort of sexual play, in which case the taste of spermicide can become an issue if the couple wishes to engage in oral sex, or is inserted after oral sex but before intercourse, which can be considered a major interruption of play and may lead to not using it all.
(SOURCE: "The New Our Bodies, Ourselves" The Boston Women's Health Book Collective, 1984. Pgs 225-228.)
The female condom is a soft, loose-fitting plastic pouch made of polyurethane (not latex) that lines the vagina. It has a semi-stiff plastic ring at each end. The inner ring is used to insert the device inside the vagina and hold it in place. The outer ring partly covers the labia area and holds the condom open. The female condom is market in the United States by Wisconson Pharmaceuticals under the name Reality. In the United Kingdom and Canada it is marketed under the name Femidom. Market acceptance testing has been going on for over a year, and on August 15, 1994, Wisconson Pharmaceuticals began widespread marketing of Reality.
In theory, the polyurethane construction of the female condom makes it viable to use with oil-based lubricants, and Wisconson Pharmaceutical's hotline states that this is safe. The female condom is also the best viable alternative available for those people who are allergic to latex. The female condom should notbe used for anal sex-- the anus has no upper end and the outer ring is not enough to prevent it from being pushed into the anus and become lost.
The female condom can be inserted up to 8 hours before sex. However, most women prefer to insert it between 2 and 20 minutes prior to sexual intercourse. The condom should be removed immediately after sex.
Squeeze the inner ring with your thumb and middle finger, placing your index finger down upon the plastic inside the inner ring. Still squeezing, spread the labia apart. With your hand positioned with your palm towards you, insert the female condom into the vagina. Push the inner ring and pouch the rest of the way into the vagina until the inner ring is up past the pubic bone. The outside ring should now lie against the vulva, covering the opening of the vagina.
During intercourse, the female condom may move or shift. It should not be pushed into the vagina, and the outer ring is intended to prevent this. However, it may happen. If so, stop intercourse, fix the ring, and apply more lubricant to the penis or in the pouch.
After intercourse, the female condom should be disposed of in a trashcan. Do not flush the female condom in the toilet.
The female condom requires practice to use properly. Be prepared to take your time inserting it the first time. Those who have experience using a diaphragm will find the process familiar.
The female condom has not been tested in its efficiency to prevent disease. It is expected to be as effective as a male condom. However, the insertion process calls for two steps: inserting the ring, where the hand is outside the pouch and in contact with vaginal fluids, and then fitting the ring, where the fingers are inside the pouch, thus spreading those fluids about the pouch where the penis will go. While there are solutions to this problem (have each partner do one of these steps, wear gloves for half the process, or wash hands before the fitting stage), none of them are adequate for most people. The female condom should not be considered a viable protection for STDs in cases where the woman is suspected to have a mucosal infection such as herpes or HPV.
In the United States, Reality has been available primarily through Planned Parenthood. Wisconson Pharmaceuticals has started shipping to drug stores and it should be available throughout the U.S. in the last quarter of 1994. Reality is somewhat pricey-- three condoms and a small bottle of lubricant cost approximately $7.00 US.
Reality comes with an instruction booklet. The booklet is hilarious, mostly because of the name of the product. For example:
One thing that was apparent from reading through the descriptions was that advertising on size (or for that matter thickness or ribbing or whatever) is often misleading. A brand which is claimed to be smaller than average frequently isn't outside the normal variation. There may also be differences in size based on variations in manufacturing and these figures were probably based on single samples. Different size measurements for different styles of the same brand may indicate such variations or be an attempt to provide some size variation, in which case getting the precise style named is important. All measurements are flat and don't take into account elasticity, which might influence comfort when worn. Typical condom flat widths range from 2" to 2-1/8" (meaning two and one eighth, not two minus an eight). All the condoms listed here are both lubricated and reservoir ended. Company names are listed in parentheses. Extra words which may appear in the name on some packages are listed in square brackets. It is possible I've copied some numbers wrong (and other disclaimer noises).
SLIMMER CONDOMS
Mentor (Mentor): 2" by 8", not smaller,
but has adhesive inside
Bikini (Barnetts): slightly less than 2" by
7-1/4", packaged in that
frustrating plastic
wrapper
[Sheik] Fetherlite (Schmid): 1-7/8" by 7-1/2"
Hugger (Circle): 1-7/8" by 7-1/8"
Slims (Circle): 1-7/8" by 7-3/4"
to prevent slippage,
rather expensive though
WIDER CONDOMS
Excita (Schmid): 2-1/4" by 8-1/4", Excita
Extra has spermicide
[Lifestyle] [Horizon] Nuda (Ansel): 2-5/8" head, 2-1/8"
shaft, by 8-1/8"
[Ramses] NuForm (Schmid): 2-1/2" upper, 2+" lower,
by 8-1/4, has benzocaine
anaesthetic
Rough Rider (Ansel): 2-1/2" by 8" thick but
doesn't block sensations,
raised studs
Sheik Ribbed (Schmid): 2-1/4", forgot to note
length
(Note wide variation in Sheik. Elite with spermicide and
Lubricated (with benzocaine?) are both 2-1/8". Fetherlite is
1-7/8".)
Trojan-Enz Lubricated (Carter-Wallace): 2-1/4" by 8"
LONGER CONDOMS
Man-form Lubricated (Protex): 2" by 8-3/4" long
packaged in that
frustrating plastic
wrapper
[Trojan] Naturalube (Carter-Wallace): 2" by 8-5/8"
HIV causes the destruction of the immune system. It's most pronounced symptoms, therefore, are opportunistic infections of pneumocystis carinii, fungal infections, tuberculosis, and various herpes forms.
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