In a perfect world...that said, otherwise it is reasonable and realistic to seek out a professional Dominatrix just as one seeks out a professional accountant. It is unrealistic except for a possible few truly devoted 24/7s (which eliminates most of us over thirty with career and family obligations negating this potential arrangement.) to expect to find an intelligent attractive available Dominant woman with the financial wherewithal to without charge mesh her time and schedule with those of the male submissives seeking her services. If this thought is reasonably acceptable and probably correct, the only issues remaining are local availability, talent and the price. And within the state of New Jersey there is an unfilled void of availability of those services at a reasonable price, or it could be that the demand is such that the price is right. Any one care to comment.
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Hi, "Dear Elliot".
I agree with you that Pro Dommes are a viable option for many male submissives!
But I disagree that it is unrealistic to hope to find a personal partner who does not charge. I know lots and lots of male submissives who are not 24/7 and yet who have wonderful, non-paying relationships with female doms. The people I know run the gamut from short-term to long-term relationship styles. They all have busy lives, careers, families, etc. (Most of the successful male submissives I know are, however, very forthright with their existing spouses/lovers if that partner is not the person the submissive is bottoming to. If you have to cheat on an existing relationship, it becomes much harder to find someone who is not going to charge for the service.)
As in any vanilla relationship, finding a partner in BDSM takes time. You have to find someone with whom you feel love, trust, friendship, laughter, the desire to work through hard times, and the chemistry of heated interaction when you both want it. Relationships like that do not drop from the stars for anyone. But they are out there, of course; and they are not as completely impossible to find as you suggest. Which is not to deny your excellent point about pro doms being a great idea for many.
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According to [a representativeof the NLA-I Law Project], in New Jersey prostitution has been legally redefined so as to include non-genital dominant services. So much for "it's not prostitution because it isn't sex" and related arguments -- it's just flat illegal there.
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