Reprinted With Permission from Cuir Underground
Copyright (c) 1996 Cuir Underground
From Issue 2.5 - March/April 1996
Mother: What should I do when I'm at a public event and I see someone I've tricked with?
Darling: If you run into an old trick of yours in public, it is always appropriate to smile and say hello, and then return to the fascinating conversation you are having with your companions. If the trick comes over to talk to you, you may certainly make introductions. You need not be specific about how you met this person, and in some settings, it would not be appropriate to do so. If you do not want to include them in your social outing, say something like, "It's really nice to see you. Perhaps we could get together again sometime? I'm sorry, I've mislaid your phone number. Give it to me again and I'll call you this week." (Note: If you don't actually want to call them, don't say you will. But by all means, avoid telling them in front of a third party that you don't want to see them again. That's just not nice, dear.) If they don't get the hint, it's time for a social lie along the lines of: "I hope you don't mind, but my friend is from out of town and I really want to visit with her alone."
Mother: What is an enema?
Darling: A whole lot of fun, whether you're alone or not! Briefly, an enema is designed to empty and clean the lowest part of the bowels. The Victorians were quite enamored of them, along with emetics (substances that make you puke). Water is allowed to run into the rectum, and then expelled, carrying with it whatever was in the rectum at the time. You use an enema bag -- most douche bags are also enema bags if you use a different nozzle. Enemas are a good thing to do before engaging in an evening of anal sex. You clean the tissues so there are no gritty remains left to scratch the delicate rectal walls. Also, enemas assure that there are no "yukkies" for those who are sensitive to such, and the filling/holding process helps to stretch and relax the sphincter muscles.
Enemas are often used medically -- many people were introduced to them as children. Some folks are left with unpleasant associations, while other luckier ones saw the erotic appeal right away. My introduction was at the hands of a lover who made me hold a bagful of water and masturbate until allowed to use the toilet (abdominal cramps have had a slight erotic charge for me ever since!). For more information read Anal Pleasure and Health by Jack Morin.
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