Additional SM Research Data

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by Norman Breslow

Data: Fantasies and Correspondence

The respondents to the questionnaire were asked to send their current or favorite SM fantasy along with the completed questionnaire. They were told that they could make the fantasy as long and as short as they wished, and to indicate how close they had come to acting it out.

About half the people who returned the questionnaire also included the fantasy material. Most of the fantasies ranged from a few paragraphs to a few pages in length. Some of the respondents also volunteered to be included in a more in- depth study, and about 200 longer "follow-up" questionnaires were sent to these people. Of these, about 75 completed follow-up questionnaires were returned. Some of the questions in the follow-up questionnaire were the same for all the respondents to answer, while other questions were tailored to the person it was sent to, based on their answers to the initial questionnaire.

While the mostly "open-ended" questions asked in the follow-up questionnaire do not quantify easily for use in a statistical analysis, they were nevertheless invaluable to the research: This material shows the broad range of sexual interests incorporated within the term "sadomasochism"; they raised questions that led to new areas of investigation, such as issues of control in SM fantasies and behavior; and they helped explain and expand upon the results of the statistical analysis of the first questionnaire. Many of the respondents who took part in the follow-up study offer insights and information that cannot be found elsewhere.

The following material is a sampling of the fantasies that were returned with the first questionnaire. The material was selected to be representative of the responses that were received, and to give an idea of the variety of people who engage in SM activity.

I have attempted to reproduce this material as faithfully as possible. When necessary, references that might have identified the respondent were omitted. Any clarification's made by me are placed inside brackets [ ].

Preceding each respondent's fantasy material is a synopsis of the person's answers to the initial questionnaire. While this material should be self explanatory, some numbers, such as "5/9", do need clarification. The first numeral represents the number of people the respondent had SM sex with, and the second numeral represents the number of times (sessions) the respondent had SM sex, during the twelve months prior to the respondent filling out the questionnaire. For example, 5/9 means 5 different people and 9 SM sessions during the previous 12 months.

I want to explain the use of one term which some readers might find offensive. It is "unusual sex", and it is used in place of SM from time to time. Back in the early and mid-1980's, SM was considered by some to mean torture and bloody sex, so the term "unusual sex" was frequently used in contact magazines in its place. I used the term unusual sex at times in both the questionnaire and follow-up questionnaire. To the best of my recollection, only one person objected to this term, writing that her interests weren't unusual. While it would be easy for me to use my word processor to replace "unusual sex" with "SM" or some other term, I've decided leave my questions and the responses in their original form.

Finally, I have made almost no comments about the responses. To comment would be akin to "armchair psychoanalysis," which would be a disservice to the people who have shared their deepest sexual thoughts with me-- and now you.

#001-30, white female, 34, high school graduate, married, significant other knows of her interests, neither the youngest nor oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, rarely depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, not sure if she has friends who have SM interests, believes hers are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 5, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of her interests in SM, believes SM sometimes helps her achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, submissive, 1/120, humiliation oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Computer printout.

Dear Research Person:

I have many, many fantasies and I enjoy numerous "creative" forms of foreplay. But the fantasies of being soundly and humiliatingly spanked on the bare bottom while wiggling and bucking over a strong and steady knee, are by far, the most enjoyable of all. These fantasies are enhanced by the allure of erotic lingerie and the thrills of acting out a little "master/slave, Daddy/Naughty Little girl" types of scenarios....but it's always spanking.

I wouldn't attempt to share them all with you, for while I do have some very elaborately detailed "favorites", I never stop "weaving" more. We'd have to establish an ongoing correspondence for me to even scratch the surface. There is an "essence" however, that is universal to all of them....

The thought of a spanking brings out the vixen in me. I am by nature, fun-loving and affable-- also very feminine and quite pretty (or so I've been told). I enjoy being naughty and have spent the greater part of my life pursuing the male that is just the right balance of masculine ego and playful dominance to understand the needs of one such as me. In all of my fantasies he is always powerful, appealing and "larger than life". More importantly, he is gentle and loving and quick to laugh. His intuition about women stems from his genuine affection for the female heart, mind and soul (to say nothing of her body!). But his understanding for the woman who needs to feel loved, and at the same time has a strong need for discipline, is what really makes him special. For her, he is all things: master, disciplinarian, teacher, daddy, lover, brat- spanker, friend...

I could list 1,000 things that could provoke the spankings, and I've probably done most of them! In real life, unfortunately, it doesn't always bring the exact sort of discipline you have in mind. And believe it or not, there are a lot of men out there who would rather eradicate your desires than accommodate them! But the one that you find who'll turn me "every which way but loose" to first deliver a good spanking, and then to make love, is one that keeps me feeling like a hot and horny teenaged girl!

[Handwritten] Hope this helps! Keep up the good work! I act out my fantasies on a regular basis-- with a husband who is my fantasy come true!

Question from the follow-up questionnaire: You mention [in the original questionnaire] that one or more of your relatives know of your sexual interests. Which one(s), and how did they find out about them? What was the reaction?

When I mentioned one of my relatives knowing, I was referring to my sister (older sister). I am 34 and she is 38. We have always been close, loving, sharing...she is my best friend, and I consider myself very lucky to have her. She is my only sister, but I have a younger brother. He does not know, and would be neither accepting or understanding. Even if he was secretly "into it". (Get the picture?) My sister knows, even understands...but is not "into it" herself. When I've shared this fascination I have with spanking, I think she is pleased I am sharing something obviously personal with her, but I do think it embarrasses her a little. Me too in a way, but I'm glad i told her.

QUESTION: You mention that you are mainly interested in humiliation, and of course, spanking. Is the spanking in itself a form of humiliation, or are there other aspects of your sexual interests which are specifically humiliation oriented. For instance, do you enjoy being scolded/stood in the corner, etc., or do you fantasize about being punished in front of others, or?

The spanking is the major part of the humiliation I spoke of. I do enjoy other forms of humiliation, such as scolding, being made to stand in a corner, or bend over in front of a full- length mirror to admire my red and burning bottom. I often fantasize about being spanked in front of others-- any group of witnesses is a turn-on. I am convinced I would not enjoy this in reality as much as I do in fantasy. (But given the right circumstances, I might like to try it.)

QUESTION: You wrote that your husband is the answer to your fantasy. One of the biggest problems for those with "non-standard" interests seems to be finding a partner who shares those interests. How did you let your husband know of your interests. How did he take the news. You imply that you have had some negative experiences with boyfriends in the past ("...there are a lot of men who would rather eradicate your interests than accommodate them!") Could you tell me about how you dealt with these situations?

When my husband and I were dating, about one month into the relationship that had been fairly "steady", we were sitting in his home, fireplace roaring on a cold November night. We had just made love and we were naked, in the dark, in front of the fire's warmth and light. We talked openly about "straight" sex-- all aspects of it-- our likes and dislikes, tickles and tortures, and he asked me if I had any fantasies. I wanted to tell him, but I was afraid. After all, you can never "un-tell" someone something-- once it's out, it's out! As I'm sure I shared with you before, it was (and always has been) my desire to get a spanking because I earned it. not because I requested it. I was almost positive that if I could tell anyone, it would be this guy...I decided to "go for it"! After several hours (no kidding!) of talking around it an our conversation a kind of verbal masturbation, he convinced me to write it down on a piece of paper and let him read it, if that would be easier for me. I wrote the following five words: "I fantasize about being spanked." Simple, right? Can't make it any clearer than that!! I decided it was not the time to go into a lot of detail although the detail is very important to me-- i figured, depending on his reaction, there'd be plenty of time to unfold the embroidered and finely woven fabric of my fantasies. ... I hesitantly stretched the folded paper in shaking fingers to him and listened to my pulse pounding in my ears, a hot flush creeping up my neck into my scalp, making it tingles, as he held my eyes in an intent gaze and unwrapped to read my secret of 26 years. He read it...and what can I say? His face lit up like a Christmas tree!!

Since then he has been the daddy, master, lover, disciplinarian, teacher, and brat-spanker that I've always needed, loved, feared, hoped for! He revels in my games, and never fails to give the pleasure/pain I need. I am very, very lucky.

I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression about "negative experiences with boyfriends in the past". All i really meant to imply is that it was sometimes difficult to get them to do what I wanted. Until my husband came along, I was sure it was something I should keep to myself. I was a little uncomfortable with the passion for spanking-- thinking I was a freak of sorts. I'm sure most spanking enthusiasts have, or have had, serious doubts about their "normalcy". Until I had reached a point in my maturity that was better informed, a little more "worldly", a little more "street" than before, I was literally afraid of my own sexuality and sensuality. I dated several handsome, masculine, personable men-- they were all creative in their own ways, but only a few had that special inclination to be playfully dominant. I'm not turned on by obnoxious, loud-mouthed bullies. I find no pleasure in the thought of being abused. What I'm talking about takes creativity, sensitivity, masculinity (in the true sense of the word), and flexibility with a sense of humor. There aren't many like that running around out there... and when you do find those that fill that criteria, having them also be into spanking would be a million to one shot! Am I right? The odds have gotta be against you! Anyway, most of them were great in their own ways, but I used to seethe with frustration when I'd spend hours being naughty, bratty, contrite, sarcastic, argumentative (not necessarily all at once!), and never get what I wanted. They usually tried to cajole me out of my temper, or get pissed off themselves-- but not the right kind of pissed off! (if you know what I mean) If and when any mention of spanking was ever made, I would not reveal my secret, but did watch them for some reaction. Most seemed to think it was "silly", or acted as if it was just a "bit too weird" for them. SCHMUCKS! I often think with a smile that they'll never know what they missed!!

QUESTION: Would you tell me the difference between your "naughty little girl" and your "master/slave" scenarios?

This is getting lengthy and it's late, so suffice it to say regarding "naughty little girl" scenario-- picture: stern looks, no-nonsense demeanor, unwavering conviction, gentle but firm scolding, classic over-the-knee- position, bottom bared, firm rhythmic spanks....squeals, pouting, kicking, whimpers, blushing defiance. For any and all reasons from being sassy to spending $ foolishly.

"master/slave" scenario is more sexual-- more inventive positions, more passionate dialogue-- more outrageous, overt, hot.

To be honest, I've gotta wrap this up now. I'll get around to answering your last question maybe sometime later-- OK?

In a letter to this respondent, I wrote the following:

You may be interested to know that your account of how you told your husband about your sexual interests is not atypical. Many women report discussing their interests during "pillow talk", or subtly leaving spanking magazine articles, etc,, around the house. Other women report that they were introduced to SM/B&D by their lovers. Most men who have partners report bringing the subject up in conversation, or introducing mild "kinky" sex to lovemaking, and seeing how their partner reacts. Those men who do not have partners are usually the ones who are too afraid to bring the subject up, and for the most part live fantasy sex lives.

You mention that you feel that you beat the odds of a million to one, but the odds were probably closer to 15 or 20 to one. However, just meeting someone with similar sexual interests does not guarantee that a long lasting relationship will result, (nor even a quickie). If I were to give advice to someone, I would suggest your method (even if you didn't see it as a "method"). Find someone you like, begin a relationship, and then take a deep breath and take a chance.

You also mention that you fantasize about being spanked in front of others, but are reluctant to actually try. Again, not atypical. (I hope you don't mind my saying that in some respects you are not atypical-- some people would take this as an insult. I do not mean to diminish you or your interests in any way-- just to let you know that you are not alone in your interests.)]

July 24, 1985

Thanks for your recent letter. Funny you should comment about my minding you saying that my experiences and interests are not atypical....there was a time that I would have paid money-- good money-- for some confirmation that there were others "out there" like me....but I have to admit, I'm so comfortable with my preferences and passions now, and feel kind of special because of them, that I have to admit I did feel a twinge of annoyance at being told I'm "typical". No offense taken, though...just thought you'd like to know.

When I said in my last letter that I must have beat the odds of "a million to one"...well, I was exaggerating (I have a tendency to choose some words for "effect" rather than just telling it like it is...). On to some of the other questions......

QUESTION: Were there things about the unusual which turned you off when you first heard about them, but which now turn you on? If so, What?

You asked in Q.#1 if there were things about the "unusual" which turned me off when I first heard about them, but which now turn me on. Definitely yes. The first time I heard about anal sex, I was astonished (keep in mind I heard about it when I was maybe 15). Suffice it to say that I now enjoy it on a semi-regular basis. Restraints turned me off-- for one thing, I think they're quite ugly, and the idea of being "totally out of control of the situation" was just a bit too scary for me. My love and trust for my husband changed that. Now being tied or restrained in certain situations is very much a turn-on. Implements, such as paddles, whips, straps, brushes, etc. were also a bit intimidating to me. I had always preferred to the idea of a hand spanking and still do- you can't beat the feel of flesh to flesh- but we've experimented with more toys than before and enjoyed them for something different once in a while. British school cane was given to my husband as a sort of joke/gift by an acquaintance that share our interests. We've tried it, and although it is impersonal and stings like the dickens, I've become quite fond of it as a "change of pace".

QUESTION: What were your first unusual thoughts at age 5?

As far as the unusual thoughts at age 5 are concerned, I don't have a clear recollection of my actual thoughts, but I do remember I was always wondering about spankings. I'd never gotten one and all my little friends seemed to get them frequently. I wondered what I was missing, and I used to encourage them to tell me about them, and later on, on at least one occasion, I coerced them into acting one out. I think all I really wanted was to see what I was missing, but there's a shade of recollection that it excited me, but felt at the same time that I shouldn't tell anyone that it did-- something wrong with that, I thought. And I never did tell anyone until long after I'd become an adult.

QUESTION: Have you ever had dominant fantasies? If so, what?

Yes, I've had dominant fantasies, but until recently, they have all been me spanking a girl. I have no desire to dominate anyone by nature-- I am truly one that leans toward submissive, but the sight of a female bottom bouncing and wiggling and turning red under a flattened palm is a definite turn on. I have wanted to experience and see this in reality. I never have.... Now recently, for some strange reason (well, not really so strange), I've had my first glimmerings of a fantasy interest in spanking good looking men. They have been few and far between, and have really only involved one fantasy man-- Rob Lowe. Something about that mischievous twinkle in his eye, and the very appealing combination of "street smart/boy next door" that does it for me. No punishment intended-- I see it as a definite turn on for both of us. It's more than his looks or body-- it's "attitude" as well. The fantasies are simple- bedroom setting, he's over my knee, kind of laughing and pretending he objects, but he's enjoying it as I struggle to hold him in place and spank his bare bottom with all my strength!

QUESTION: Please give a detailed account of a public (in front of others) spanking fantasy. Would it involve having others "shocked" by seeing you punished, or would they get turned on, or? Would you be made to stand in a corner first, or beg for your punishment, or would you be abruptly pulled over your husband's knees? Do you ever fantasize about being spanked by others-- humiliated by being turned over to someone else for punishment by your husband?

Before I go on to answer a question from your first letter, I'd just like to address the question about a public spanking-- whether I ever fantasize about being spanked by others-- humiliated by being turned over to someone else for punishment by my husband. ALL THE TIME!! As a matter of fact, there is someone very much part of my life that I've never met. We have had an ongoing correspondence for almost two years now. He is known by the reputation as "The Master Spanker", and he intends to travel here in the spring of '86. When we meet, he has promised to give me the spanking of my life-- one that I will never forget. My husband knows of and approves of my correspondence with this man. We both like him personally, and my husband is actually looking forward to me receiving a lesson from "The Master". He looks upon it as "fantasy come true" for me-- and experience of a lifetime, and he revels in the expectation of handing me over for my lesson. I, on the other hand, sometimes wonder how the hell I got myself into this!! I absolutely love the fantasy that this ongoing relationship has created, but when I actually think of a stranger walking into my house, baring my bottom, and turning me over his knee to spank me mercilessly, I'm convinced I must have been crazy to encourage this. At the same time, I grin from ear to ear with the thought, and it always excites me-- makes me very, very wet! SO....that particular scenario is very much a part of my life-- the scary part is that come Spring-- it'll be very very real!!

QUESTION: Please complete the following fantasies in as much detail as possible. (A) You are playing strip poker with three other people, with the losers becoming the sex slaves of the winners. Everyone is down to one article of clothing, What happens. (B) The slave is standing, and the master is seated on a couch. What is being said? (C) You are at a slave auction. Are you buying or are you being sold. Who buys you or who do you buy?

OK.now, for the one about strip poker (I really played that once-- with two guys who were good fiends, when I was about 15-- I "lost" but I won too! No one became anyones slave, but we all had a good time!) On to the fantasy--------I assume that the four people are two guys and two girls. The other girl loses her last article of clothing first, and then in the next hand, I lose mine. The guys are ready to assume their roles as "master" and immediately order us into the bedroom. We are each spanked by both masters, and then we are made to spank each other while they watch, giving orders when we are too lenient to "Spank harder!" After both our bottoms are quite red and sore, we are ordered to stand and bend over in front of them so that they may inspect our bottoms. We are simultaneously entered from behind and fucked (hope you don't mind explicit wording) while we lie side by side over the end of the bed. We are both incredibly turned on and begin to touch one another and then kiss while the masters pump away and watch us caress. After a long passionate fuck, the guys come, and while they rest, we are ordered to make love to one another in the classic "69" position. They don't allow us to come because they want us to stay at the peak of arousal. When they are once again aroused (quickly because of the show), they switch partners and the fun begins again.

(B) The slave is standing, and the master is seated on the couch.... what is being said?

He tells her to stand before him and remove her clothing-- slowly. While she is doing so, he admires her body and tells her that she is a lovely possession. He informs her that he belongs to him to do with as he pleases, and she must learn to accept her fate and do his bidding without question. He tells her he can be a kind master, or a merciless one-- it's up to her. She is naked, and he asks her to turn slowly in front of him, while he strokes and pats, and squeezes her body. He tells her the he must reinforce the complexion of their relationship by giving her a hard spanking- just so she understands who is the master and who is the slave. He adds that any spanking that is earned will be much harder, and more painful and humiliating. He asks her if she understands and if she is ready, and she nods her reply. He takes her over his knee and spanks her until the tears roll down her flushed cheeks and she's biting her lip to keep from crying out.

(By the way, did I tell you before that I never cry?)

(C) At the slave auction-- let me see....well, if I'm being bought, then I'm being bought by the richest, most handsome man in the crowd. You see him over there? He's the one with the big hands and the wicked grin on his face.

If I'm doing the buying (and I'm pretty comfortable with it either way), I'd like to think that I brought all my mad money with me, and I buy twins-- about age 18-- one boy and one girl. I would be a loving "mistress", spanking them to bright pink, but never causing injuries-- I would keep them naked and bathed and well fed-- content to make me a very happy mistress indeed.

Hope these helped. More are welcome. By the way, my name is Terri. Bye for now.

Until this point, I didn't know her name. I had been writing to her at her Post Office Box number, and referring to her as "T". In my next letter to Terri, I wrote the following: Since you are both bright and articulate, I would like to ask you something I haven't explored to any extent in the past. If you could give me some thoughts on the subject of control, and let me know your feelings of it's role in "unusual" relationships, it would be helpful. I'm trying to get a handle on this aspect of the scene. Obviously, someone in the dominant position has control, and many submissives have also stated that they enjoy knowing that someone else was in control. In what way is knowing someone else is in control a turn-on? And is the dominant really in control? He or she must be careful not to freak out the submissive, else take the chance of losing a sexual partner, causing marital problems, etc. Please share your thoughts on this subject with me.

I am also wondering if you would write a fantasy of what will actually happen when the Master Spanker does arrive. I would be very interested in a before (fantasy) and after (report), if possible. If you would care to do this, please keep in mind the before fantasy should be based on probability-- you have been in communication with the Master Spanker and you probably have a good idea of what his interests are and what you should expect-- what do you expect to happen when he arrives?]

August 18, 1985

I've heard from The Master Spanker again, and since you ask, I've had many fantasies of what our encounter will be like since the first letter I received from him. In fact, every time I fantasize about it, it's a little different. There's so much about him I don't know and have no way of knowing until we actually meet, that I never "think it through" the same way twice! From what he's told me to date, he intends to come to my home, visit, relax, have a few drinks, then at the appropriate time, take me over his knee, bare my bottom, and spank me severely. Now, from every indication he's given me, I'll be scolded for countless wise-cracks, demonstrations of willful and manipulative behavior, and "temper tantrums" that I've thrown (in a manner of speaking) in all our previous correspondence. He's indicated in the past that it will be more than one spanking. There will be at least one session in the corner for me while he and my husband enjoy a quite chat over another drink. It would seem from what he's said that there'll be at least one more trip across his knee after some time in the corner, and he guarantees that I'll shed tears, something I've never done. When I shared that about me with him, he seemed to take it as a challenge. (Doesn't surprise me!) I will be glad to give you an after report. Sometime before it happens, I've decided to sit and write at least one version of the encounter as I've fantasize about it. I think it's important for me (even just as a writer) to be able to see how clear my "vision" is and how well I commit the imagery to paper when I'll be able to later write how it really was. But the way, he has promised me a letter or [audio] tape before he arrives that will give me a detailed account of what to expect, what to wear, etc. I'm like a kid waiting for Christmas on that one!!

I want you to know that before I answered your questions about "control", I encouraged my husband to restrain me-- tie both wrists to the brass headboard, and gag me-- just so I could have the experience fresh in my mind to comment on it.

For me, it's excitement. Not knowing what my husband will think of, what he will subject me to, what wicked things he'll do to me that I can't stop or alter in any way. BUT trusting him to never take it anywhere that I won't want to go. My husband is so open and uninhibited, reveling in the act of sex like no other man I've ever known. He is such a sensual person and one that has depth and sensitivity-- he knows what's hot and what's not-- at least for us. When I can abandon myself to his ability and creativity, and anticipate some new and exciting twist that he'll come up with, and knowing that I can't protest or move... It's really no different, in concept, than the master/slave scenarios. If you are the slave you are "bound" to do what the master bids. Whether willingly or not, you are given to submit to his whim. The difference is the actual physical restraints-- and there is freedom in knowing you are not responsible for all the deliciously naughty things that are about to happen to you.

Now I, for one, would never even consider playing such games with anyone that I didn't know as well as I know my husband. I feel no sense of danger-- only excitement and anticipation. Some people may get off on the danger aspect of giving up control to a sexual partner, and therefore allow themselves to practice B&D with relative strangers. You may be asking yourself this moment about what I could be letting myself into with this Master Spanker guy that's coming to my home to beat my bear bottom-- a "relative stranger". I know this guy well enough, I think, after all our correspondence, to know that he isn't into whips, chains, drawing blood, or real violence. I have no sense of danger when I think of what could happen. I know that I'll probably receive one of the most, if not the most, sound and no-nonsense spankings of my life-- the kind old Dad might have given me if he'd caught me doing some of the things I've gotten away with. But I'll still be alive when he leaves-- sore, humiliated, maybe-- but alive. By the way, if I told you some of the stuff I've laid on him in the last several months, you'd agree I deserved a good one!

I will tell you before I close, that I do correspond with one other gentleman. I answered his ad for a correspondent with an interest in spanking several months ago. He is an older guy-- old enough to be my Dad, and he seems very nice. I have shared several articles of interest and magazines with him. Every time he returns a magazine, he presses several pairs of lovely sexy panties for me between the pages. I've also received two very pretty slips. He has a "side interest" in beautiful lingerie, and sends them to me because he enjoys shopping for them. We have not yet met, although geo- graphically it is quite possible. At this point we have only corresponded, and at least at this stage, I prefer it that way. I won't say we'll never meet, but for now it's just a "pen pal" relationship. Fun! I've always loved getting mail, and now I get some of the most interesting mail I could have imagined!!!

9/15/85

Guess what?! I got a letter from Master Spanker that was the most definitive input on the actual upcoming event to date. And i must say, it was a real piece of work! I've been instructed to wear: sheer beige hip-huggers, garter belt, seamed hose, 3" heeled plain pumps, and a dress that he has to "tug to bare" my ass, not something he can just flip out of the way. He actually drew me a picture of curvy naked buns and marked the spot with and "X" where the first swat will land (lower right cheek just above the crease where cheek meets thigh), and told me that handmark is still going to be imprinted on my ass when I vote in the next election!!

You see, I gave him a little "lip" in a recent letter that told him the "deal was off", and that I had changed my mind. His 4 page letter told me there was NO WAY I was going to get out to this spanking, except to go into hiding. He gave me instructions as to what kind of liquid refreshments he enjoys, and reminded me in graphic terms how nervous I'll be, knowing, as I fix his drink, that soon I'll have a very private part of my body bared to a strange man's view-- not just bared, but spanked! "Spanked so hard it will clench and jump and squirm as it gets all red and sore." He tells me that first I'll protest nervously: "Hey, c'mon, waddya think you're doing?" Then I'll give little squeals and yelps: "Ow! OUCH! giggle- giggle" Then my "ouches" will become more serious: "OWW! HEY, that HURTS! OWWWW!!" Then angry..."That's enough! Stop right now!. There will be continued shock and defiance, then a violent physical attempt to get free. Then angry pleas: "OK! OK! You win- I give up!!" Then "almost" real pleas: "I'll be a good little girl, I promise!". And then genuine pleas- "These will be a combination of crying and words I want to hear."

He tells me that there's pleasure for him in the thought of finally getting a whack at my ass, and that it amuses him. He wouldn't tell me how much time will elapse between his arrival and the actual spanking, but did share that in that time, he will reiterate just exactly why I'm getting spanked, scold me, tease me, but also play it very "straight and stern". He told me he would require other acts of penance from me, but was not specific at this time-- more to come on that. I also asked him if there was any chance at all that I'd enjoy this. I mean, every spanking I've ever gotten has turned me on-- hurt, but definitely turned me on. Lately he's made me believe that his will be a kind of revelation, so I asked him if I was going to hate him when he finally let me up. He tells me I won't hate him, but I'll be in a state of shock, and I'll have that "I've just been spanked!" look of astonishment on my face. I told him that I can't imagine-- even if I'm suffering-- ever promising to be a "good little girl" to get him to stop! Ridiculous! His reply was simply, "We'll see, won't we?"

Which brings me to another point I thought you might like to know. When I'm over a firm, steady, masculine knee, I've never pictured myself a "little girl". Rather, I am a full-grown woman, sacrificing poise, pride and dignity for some well deserved comeuppance. Maybe that's because my Dad never did spank me as a child, and so I can't relate to being a child and having it done. I have reverted to calling my spanker "Daddy", but never pictured myself as anything but a full grown woman. Typical? You would know better than I.

October 28,1985

You probably don't remember, but I did tell you a while back that my husband is almost as enthusiastic about Master Spanker's visit as I am. In fact, as time draws nearer to Spring, I'd have to say he is more so that I am!! I've begun to have "second thoughts" (as if it'll do me any good!), but he's as excited as ever. Hubby looks on this as an opportunity for me to live out a life-long fantasy- having a stranger spank me- and he's all for that. It certainly helps that Master Spanker and he seem to be on the same wavelength, and as it turns out, they are both ex-Marines that just happened to be in Paris Island at the same time. They don't know each other, but they're about the same age, and have very similar backgrounds. They've talked on the phone occasionally. In fact, last week, Master Spanker called to chat and told me that he had had a terrible day. I was sympathetic until he asked to speak to hubby. He told him that he'd feel a lot better if he knew I'd gotten a good spanking that night, so he asked hubby to be sure to give me one, and of course, he did! They took much delight in my indignant protests, especially Master Spanker, and he seemed to feel much better by the time we got off the phone. He hasn't been more specific about the "acts of penance" except in so far as telling me what I must wear, but I've been told that information is forthcoming. I have in fact, been fantasizing about them...as far as what I hope to be required to do, and what I fear I'll be required to do.....well, I gave it a great deal of thought. It's not as easy a question as I though it would be to answer. For instance, the things I stated to fantasize about that seemed to turn me on, could also be required of me in such a way as to make me hate it, and in turn, things that involve feelings of fear or trepidation could possibly be turn- ons if they were required of me in a way that turned me on. Confused? Frankly, so am I. I guess the conclusion I came to was, as long as Master Spanker is passionate, and maintains balance in the encounter, almost anything can happen and I'll allow enjoy it. [The word allow was crossed out in ink and enjoy handwritten above it.] If, on the other hand, he is cold, indifferent, mean, and....bored....I'll wind up hating it and him! I think the mood he sets will be the major factor in what would or would not be exciting to me. I want him to be stern, but balance it with humor. I want him to be demanding, but balance it with reason. I will be more than receptive to sex with him afterwards if he has not been determined to deliver pain at the expense of pleasure. Get my drift? The one and only thing I seem to truly fear, or maybe dread is a better word, is that the encounter will be scheduled to happen at a time that is not conductive with my menstrual cycle. THAT would be a major disappointment to me. I'd want to make him understand that I really couldn't get into it, but I don't think it would stop him. There are other things that I'd refuse to do, even if he "beat me to death"....I'd never bark like a dog, duckwalk, or squawk like a chicken!!!!! (Little humor there- I don't think he'd do any of those things...)

December 4, 1985

Didn't surprise me a bit when you picked up on the statement I made and then altered in my last letter, "...almost anything can happen and I'll allow enjoy it." When I re-read the letter, the original statement sounded immediately "wrong" to me. I'm sure it has something to do with the constant reminder from Master Spanker that he will be in control of the events, and what I will or will not allow will have nothing to do with what happens to me. So here we go again on the issue of "control"....

First of all, I think it's important to say that I've always thought of myself as "submissive" because I would taunt and torment to instigate a spanking, and then when I finally received it, I loved every minute of it. I would become sexually aroused beyond the norm and especially thrilled at being "handled" in a very dominating fashion. BUT, it occurs to me that there is almost nothing that is submissive about my attitude, my ambitions, my opinionatedness(?), my life! I am a leader, not a follower; I am a doer, not a watcher; and challenge everything (well, a lot of things!). That is not what I would call a "classic" submissive. Would you?

But you've made what I consider to be the "key" observation, when you used the word "game" [in reference to the spanking activity between Terri and her husband]. When people "play" at the dominant/submissive "game", the submissive is in control by virtue of the fact that he or she is allowed to set any limits or restrictions on the activities. Only the people who Live it, instead of play at it, are the ones that have a relationship/session where the dominant is in control. There are plenty of people out there, innocent submissive people, that are victimized daily by truly dominant personalities. Battered wives and husbands are truly partners in a dominant/submissive relationship where the roles are what they say.

Now in the case of Master Spanker and myself.....I would have to say that I envision it as somewhat of a "controlled" experience in the sense that hubby would step in. That give me some assurance, and that assurance gives me a smidgen of "control". BUT, anything Master Spanker sees fit to do to me in a session that falls under the broad heading of "reasonable", he will do to me whether I want him to or not. I was told early on that there will be NO code words, and no list of no-no's. I had earned myself a genuine session over his knee- this was not have for our mutual pleasure- this was for real! He would decide what I would wear, how hard, how long, in what position(s), and with what implements. And frankly, Norman, I believe him! This is probably the one experience in my life that I will in fact have little or no control over. And yes, it's a very scary feeling, but exciting as well....no doubt about that!

ANTICIPATION? Just ask me anything you want to know!! It's been two yeas since my first letter to Master Spanker, and for the last 18 months I've known that someday he would come here for the express purpose of subjecting me to a very humiliating spanking. EIGHTEEN MONTHS!! Anticipation has many faces...it's exhilarating, it's annoying, depressing, maddening, frustrating, wonderful...and it definitely has a great deal of effect on me day to day because it's never out of my mind for very long. I certainly agree that too much anticipation can lead to eventual disappointment, and we've run the risk by waiting this long of having it be anti- climatic. Spring is his E.T.A., but it's been postponed before so we'll just have to wait and see.

My instructions on what to wear have been changed recently, by the way. I recently shared with Master Spanker that although I've had my spanking fantasies since early childhood, until I started experimenting with sex in my mid to late teens, I never really had anything good to base my desire for punishment on. I mean I was so good as a kid, [not] just because it's my nature to please, but because of my upbringing, I started to experience guilt when I'd explore my sexual tendencies. I knew in the back of my mind that I was what would probably be considered "too young" to be doing what I was doing, and although my conscious wasn't strong enough to make me stop doing all those wonderfully naughty things, it was certainly giving me plenty of "ammunition" for my fantasies. I told him that the trappings of a 17 year old were a particular turn-on to me.

Soooo, now I'm supposed to wear a plaid pleated skirt, penny loafers, socks, long-sleeved white blouse and sweater vest. Very collegiate, don't you think? Although he's only about 16 years older than I, this change in wardrobe will contribute to my tendencies to beg "daddy" not to spank so hard! And frankly, I think he likes that role best of all- daddy.

(You notice that when I shared what turned me on, he changed the outfit to one that would please me. Now that makes me feel like I have a little "control". Even though it'll please me, and we both know that, he told me what to wear.)

Best regards,

12/27/85

Thanks so much for your recent letter; I really enjoy them. You made some interesting comments in your letter, and I laughed out loud when I realized you were right about the plaid skirt and white blouse being more "Catholic high school" than "collegiate". It suddenly dawned on me that when I told Master Spanker about the trappings of a 17 year old, I wasn't very specific as to what 17 year olds were wearing when I was 17. When he changed the wardrobe requirements, he perfectly described what a 17 year old would have worn when he was 17! And he's 17 years my senior! I've often accused him of "being stuck in a time warp" when it comes to his particular preferences in the wardrobe and "accouterment" portions of the fantasy!! Well, it's ok, after all, blue jeans and "granny dresses" are not among the sexiest things to get spanked in!! And to be honest, what we wear is really of little or no importance to me...it's not the clothes as much as the "chemistry"!!

I also had to grin when I read your suggestion to possibly be in the middle of a high school algebra assignment when he arrives!! I don't feel as if you're forcing yourself into my fantasy at all-- in fact it pleased me to know that you fantasized about it at all. By all means, more, please...

I have no way of knowing whether the Master Spanker is "elaborate" with the fantasy scenario set up of play acting. I'm not too comfortable with "the game"-- I'd much rather we be ourselves...talk, get to know each other, and let our basic personality differences clash as only a Leo and Taurean would, to set the stage for the spanking. He swears he's kept a "log" of all my indiscretions over the last 2 years and that we'll talk about them- I will be reminded of them, and he'll dole out the punishments for them! Our correspondence over the last two years had not been the weaving and embroidering of an elaborate fantasy relationship between us that is mutually enjoyable such as teacher/student, master/slave, daddy/bad little girl (although I have referred to him on occasion as "daddy"). Rather we have stood on equal ground, conversing and corresponding as adults discussing a wide range of personal interests such as hobbies, politics, backgrounds, careers, etc. It's just that he is truly a dominant personality, and although I love to have my bottom spanked, I am not a true submissive. I am intelligent, opinionated, outspoken, and although very lovable, I do love to tease and torment. When we speak on the phone, I can feel the "sparks" over the wires! There is some definite chemistry between us, and I think it'll be more than enough to set the stage for our encounter.

When he has scolded me in the past, he's often used the word "tame". That conjures up images of a more sexual encounter than if the spanking was to "punish". Just a little different flavor...

By the way, I think that after all this time I would, in fact, feel comfortable to meet Master Spanker alone. In some ways, I might even prefer it. It will be a humiliating experience as it is...having an audience (even if it is hubby) will undoubtedly make it worse or harder on me in some ways. But overall, I'd rather he be here; not because I feel safer about it, but because I know how much he'll enjoy it (Hubby, that is.)

To answer your question about "needing" a reason for punishment, I've given that some thought. I've been masturbating since puberty, and I've often thought how lucky I am to have as vivid an imagination as I have-- knowing no limits to the wonderful fantasies I've enjoyed. But some of the most intense and personally satisfying fantasies I've enjoyed have been those that have a basis in fact. There have been times in my life when I've gotten away with things, that had I been caught, would surely have justified someone (parent, teacher, friend) giving me a good hard spanking on the bare butt. A couple come to mind where I almost got caught, and those times make the absolutely best beginnings for a great spanking fantasy.

Consider the alternatives to not deserving the spanking but getting one anyway....

1) you're being spanked because you like it (and someone is providing it for you, therefore you're "in control")

or

2) you're being spanked because they (he or she) likes it and doesn't care what you like.

When I am so humiliated at having my bottom bared and draped over someone's knee to be subjected to a constant, hard and painful slapping of my bare cheeks, I do enjoy or feel better knowing or believing that by some very wide standards, at least I deserved it!!

I think it's tied in with EGO. The bigger the ego, the more need there is for a reason or justification. My ego will not allow me to stand for any mistreatment-- my pride won't allow me to be belittled. People with less ego or pride might allow themselves to be humiliated and spanked for no other reason than someone wants to. I prefer to have earned it, and even then I'm a fighter. You'd never know I was a willing victim. Makes it tougher for the spanker, but this "spankee" thinks it's a hell of a lot more fun!!

Take care. Write soon.

#002-35, white female, 23, college grad, never married, significant other knows of her interests, the oldest child, no religious training, no religious beliefs, politically liberal, sometimes depressed for over a week, often feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, not sure if she has friends who have SM interests, considers hers a natural interest from childhood, first recognized her interests at about age 10.5, tries to meet by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, views her interests as a form of foreplay, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, submissive, 1/100, humiliation oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was sexually abused, but does believe that she was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests Hand- written.

I can't tell you how pleased I was to see your questionnaire in "Letters". As an undergraduate in psychology, as well as a practicing submissive, I was well aware of the appalling lack of empirical information on sadomasochistic tendencies. I don't know how many textbooks I read or lectures I heard which depicted SM practitioners as sick and pathetic perverts fit only to be hospitalized immediately before they become mass murders or rapists or suicides.

My current favorite fantasy involves a girls' boarding school for orphans. I am one of the boarders. Everyday I report to my dominant headmaster for an hour before class and an hour after class for discipline, which usually consists of a spanking with a paddle or strap and anal and oral sex. Conventional intercourse is not allowed because it spoils my "virginity". I wear long wool dresses with no under clothes so I can be demure for school, but available for "use" by the headmaster. None of my schoolmates know of this arrangement, but the headmaster occasionally finds ways to punish me in front of other students to humiliate me.

My earliest fantasies and a lot of my current ones all have several elements in common. I am a slave to a powerful man in a "closed" environment (i.e., one I cannot escape from for one reason or another). For example: personal slave to a King who can catch me if I escape, slave to a Roman senator in a society that allows slavery and catches and prosecutes runaway salves, or slave to a powerful businessman who keeps me locked up. I am very obedient, but I do occasionally slip up and I do have to be reminded of my station, so he humiliates and punishes me from time to time. I am dependent on my master and scared of displeasing him, but I also feel a certain affection for him. He also feels a grudging "pride of ownership" in me.

There is frequently a hostile audience other members of the royal household, other slaves and slave owners, etc., who urge my master to punish me more.

QUESTION: Do you find the thought of unusual sex more or less exciting than actual unusual sex? (Or put another way, is fantasy more fun than reality?)

Given a choice, I would have to say that actual unusual sex is more exciting for me than fantasizing about it, although both have points in their favor. During actual sex, I enjoy sharing the experience with Tom and the element of surprise when he does something I don't expect. I enjoy the loss of control over what happens next. Although I can stop what Tom is doing with a "safe" code word, I can imagine that I'm totally under his control. Fantasies, on the other hand, allow me to think about harsher forms of punishment than I'd be willing to put up with in person.

I can come faster when masturbating with fantasy, but my orgasms are more intense during actual sex (probably because Tom teases me).

QUESTION: Do you prefer your unusual relationships to be loving and warm or cold and impersonal?

I prefer my unusual relationships to be loving and warm vers. cold and impersonal. Tom and I were undecided whether you were asking about the relationship between the partners involved, i.e., one night stands or affairs with acquaintances versus long term relationships or the style of discipline. So I'll answer this both ways.

I prefer having partners I already know and like well, men who I can love on a long-term basis. I have tried short term relationships with casual acquaintances and didn't much care for them, although they are better than nothing. I had one very bad experience with one friend of a friend who agreed readily to unusual sex and participated with some enthusiasm and the next day told all his friends about how weird I was. After that, I've been a lot more cautious about casual unusual sex. I have had two long-term relationships with lovers who have enjoyed being dominant.

I also prefer a warm loving style of discipline. I like being petted and rewarded as well as punished. Most of my fantasies involve masters and slaves who are somewhat fond of each other and who have more than just an owner-property relationship. Tom and I sometimes act out these fantasies, assuming the characters of the people in the fantasies.

QUESTION: Do you feel emotionally safe and secure when you are in an unusual relationship?

The answer to this one has to be yes and no. When we're actually involved in a B&D scene. I do feel very safe and secure. I feel as though I can settle down into a submissive frame of mind, relinquish most of the control to Tom, and enjoy myself. After doing a scene or after discussing a fantasy, however, I often get minor anxiety attacks and feel as though what I have just done or talked about is wrong. I find myself asking Tom to reassure me that he loves me and does not think my sexual preferences are weird.

In many ways, doing a submissive scene is like a high for me. I feel really good about myself, Tom and our relationship, almost ecstatic. Then, when it's over, it's like a let down and my normal feelings return all in a flood.

QUESTION:: How important is bondage to you. Please give an example of the type of bondage you practice (if any).

Bondage is like erotic clothing. It is not necessary for a good scene, but it is a nice added touch. With Tom I usually practice what we call restraint, i.e., his gripping my wrists or ankles and holding me down more than anything else. Although we do own a set of handcuffs and a set of soft ropes which Tom will use to tie me up to a headboard or footboard of a bed. We don't use prolonged bondage, such as tying me up for hours. With my previous lover/master, I was tied up with cords more often and for longer periods of time. I think I'm happier the way it is now because I like the idea that I will be obedient without being tied.

QUESTION: A couple decide to set up rules for their unusual relationship. What are the major rules and penalties?

1. The slave will do as the master commands quickly, efficiently and without complaint

2. The slave will always be sexually responsive to her master.

3. At meals, the slave will cook the type and amount of food requested and wait to be invited to eat either with the master, at the master's feet, or after the master has eaten.

4. The slave will wash and groom carefully daily, so as to be constantly fresh and clean.

5. In public, the slave will stay close to her master, refer to her master as "sir", keep her voice down, and not pester her master.

6. The master will punish the slave as he chooses for any infringement of these rules or just to show the slave her place.

QUESTION: Do you feel that the "straight" media-- books, movies, television, etc.-- accurately depict the unusual scene and the people involved in it? If not, why?

For the most part the "straight" media does not depict B&D or SM accurately. Too often, people in leather corsets, garters and high heels carrying whips are used for cheap laughs, or else unusual practitioners are depicted right along with rapists, wife and child beaters and mass murders. I think this is done because people without any unusual experiences don't understand us and that makes them nervous. People react with fear and ridicule to things they don't understand.

QUESTION:: What was your earliest unusual fantasy?

I used to daydream about some fantasy characters spanking each other and punishing each other. I always identified with the character(s) being punished. Later, I began to formally add more sexual punishments such as nipple clamps. These fantasies were very elaborate and involved 10- 20 characters at times with one or two of them being identity figures and the rest being neutral observers.

QUESTION: Tell me about your earliest unusual experience.

I met a man who became my first master/lover. I introduced him to unusual sex slowly by first having general sexual discussions and then narrowing down to discussing my fantasies. Although he eventually began to enjoy unusual sex and liked to spank me, tie me up and throw me around, I don't remember any specific first scene.

QUESTION: How did you tell Tom about your unusual interests?

As I said earlier, I used to be fairly open about discussing unusual sex with men I liked. But I got burned with one or two bad experiences and I have since been more careful. By the time I met Tom, I was very cautious. I sensed that Tom was open-mined and I trusted him to let me down gently if his answer was no. I started talking about sexual preferences in general and narrowing my discussion to the point where I told him that I wanted to be a slave. He nodded and asked me a few questions, and (as I found out later) bought a book with an account of one unusual relationship (9 1/2 Weeks). A few days later I was surprised to find him acting as my master. He found that he enjoyed it and we have continued.

I guess I have discussed the unusual scene with six or seven men. Two were definite no's, two were definite yeses who developed into long term lovers/masters, and two-three were short term affairs who I have not maintained contact with. I don't know if any of them continued to enjoy unusual sex or not.

QUESTIN:: Do you see any difference between Tom as a lover and Tom as a master?

Tom and I do slave scenarios on a regular basis both with and without sexual intercourse. But we don't live as master and slave all the time. He was my lover before he was my master and is still my lover more often than he's my master. As my lover, we're equals in every sense of the word. As my master, I am as submissive to his wishes as I can be. We have certain key phrases and actions which we use to signal a change from one relationship to the other.

QUESTION: Were there things about the unusual which turned you off when you first heard about them, but which you now find a turn-on?

I would say that the variety and intensity of my unusual interests have expanded, but not necessarily because I began to like things that previously turned me off. Rather, as I was exposed to new ideas I incorporated them into my fantasies and slave scenes. Also, as time passes, I find that the amount of dominance I want has increased. For example, I find that I want to be spanked longer, harder and more frequently.

QUESTION: You mention that you feel "dirty" because of your sexual interests. Tell me about this.

For the most part, with the exception of incest with children and pedophilia, I feel that, for other people, sexual deviancy is not perverted or dirty or any of those other emotionally loaded words. However, I have great difficulty applying this liberal attitude to myself. Although it is not impossible, it is difficult for me to enjoy straight sex without any unusual fantasies or nuances. As you are undoubtedly aware, most people, including the vast majority of psychological texts would not hesitate to label that as "perverted" or "deviant" or even pathological. My parents would be horrified if they knew. And I'm sure I would never have gotten my former job working with children if others had known. Sometimes all of this gets to me and I begin to wonder if maybe they are right and there is something quite wrong with me. Fortunately for me, Tom has no such opinions and does not hesitate to reassure me that I am no more perverted than the rest of the populace with all their sexual idiosyncrasies.

#003-010. [A few months later, Tom sent the following:] Male, white, 28, college grad, never married, significant other knows of his interests, the oldest child, strict religious training, no religious beliefs, no political beliefs, sometimes depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, not sure if he has friends who have SM interests, was introduced to SM by another person at the age of 25, has not tried to meet others, has not used the services of a professional, views his interests as a form of foreplay, does not believe SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, dominant, 1/100+, humiliation oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was sexually abused, but does believe that he was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

Judy introduced me to B&D when we started to sleep together. I didn't consider myself a dominant before that and still don't now to a great extent (although aspects of the control involved appeals to me). Primarily, I think of the B&D as a form of foreplay, as you say in your survey.

I have only one or two recurring dominant fantasies. One is ordering Judy to fuck in a public place, like a department store. The other is inviting another man to fuck her, the same time I do. I fantasize fucking Judy doggie-style, while she sucks the other man off.

QUESTION: Do you prefer your unusual relationships to be loving and warm or cold and impersonal.

I'm not particularly experienced sexually, and I've never been involved in a one-night stand of any sort, but I can't imagine suggesting dominance or spanking to a woman that I didn't know for some time and didn't already feel close to.

QUESTION: Do you feel emotionally safe and secure when you are in an unusual sexual relationship?

In general, I feel secure in my sexual relationship with Judy, although sometimes I worry about using my status as her master to settle an argument that has nothing to do with our sexual relationship. I've never done it, but the temptation is there, and it's important to me not to give into it.

QUESTION: If you had to choose, would you rather watch others having unusual sex, or have others watch you?

I would definitely rather have others watching us while we have unusual sex. In fact, it's a fairly common fantasy of ours to go into our master and slave roles in front of our unsuspecting friends. I think it would be a way to demonstrate [my] control over the slave. First, you would be announcing her status to a group of people, then you would be ordering her to perform sexually before that group. Actually, Judy and I have our own version of performing in public. Sometimes we go to malls or parties as master and slave. At parties, Judy has to keep my glass full and sit at my feet (if I'm in a chair) and similar duties. We treat each other normally otherwise, but Judy knows she will be disciplined if she isn't attentive enough. Needless to say, she hasn't been attentive enough yet.

QUESTION: How important is bondage to you? Please give an example of the type of bondage you practice (if any).

We use three different types of bondage regularly. I often pin Judy to the bed when we make love. Sometimes I manacle her wrists together with toy handcuffs, and sometimes I tie her to the bed with soft cords (although it's been some time since we've had a bed where we could do this). While we don't need elaborate bondage devices when we act as master and slave, I think that pinning Judy down is a good non-verbal way to establish dominance, and I'd miss it if I couldn't use it.

QUESTION: If you were to try to explain to a "straight" person what unusual sex is about and what you got out of it, what would you say?

What do I get out of unusual sex? Primarily the knowledge that I'm making Judy feel good. But there is also the feeling of control, the knowledge that I could ask for virtually anything and not be refused.

QUESTION: Explain your interests in controlling the slave/situation.

I've always found it difficult to tell a woman that I was attracted to her. I always think that she'll laugh at me. But you don't have to worry about rejection in a master-slave relationship. The slave will always respond the way you want her to. Being a master is also an excuse to be selfish once in a while, to take your pleasure first, before worrying about the slave's.

#004-119, white female, 38, college graduate, divorced, significant other knows of her interests, an only child, no religious training, no religious beliefs, politically liberal, rarely depressed for over a week, sometimes feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes hers are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 9, tries to meet through ads, at SM bars and by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of her interests in SM, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is bisexual, versatile, humiliation oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Computer printout.

1. I've a vision of a woman sitting at a small marble-topped table in an outdoor cafe in Switzerland. It's definitely the off- season because she's alone on the terrace with a desultory waiter reading a worn newspaper on the other side of the compound. The sun is a welcome intermediary between her skin and the chill. When it moves on, she'll have to put on her jacket.

There's a shadow across the table that startles her and the man has already sat down before she can voice protest over the invasion. She opens her mouth to speak as his hand comes to pin her wrist to the tabletop. No, he says softly, silence now.

She's aware of his bulk and almost tangible forcefield about him, now enveloping her. She tries, experimentally, to move her wrist, wondering why she doesn't call to the waiter, who's disappeared into the restaurant. He tightens his grip slowly until she gasps. She still has no sense of what he looks like, only a presence that pervades her will.

Recognizing the thought, she swings her other hand in a wide arc, aiming for his cheek. Casually, without effort, he intercepts, bending that arm to join its twin immobilized on the cold marble.

With a blur of movement, he slaps her very hard, palm and backhand, jarring her teeth and tearing her eyes. Then brings his hand to her nape, catching the hair solidly, sharply. He leans close and murmurs, his hand moving her head to and fro slightly, I am hear for you....

2. She is suspended, almost, by the posts and restraints that bind her to them. She hears the sound, the whish-ing, the snapping, the silence, of the crop and before the sound has transmitted itself to her nerve endings, it is in direct and powerful competition with the pain that scorches through her.

"This is not punishment, love, just esthetics-- you can't imagine how beautiful you look when you wear my marks." His voice, sometimes too loud, is almost inaudible now. She would strain to hear him, but the impulses were jumbling together and she could scarcely, at these times, distinguish between what she heard, what she felt, what she tasted. All the synapses got crossed when she was being "marked".

She knew this was in preparation for the weekly card game that was being held at his house tonight. He wanted to display his power over her to his friends. She never questioned his motives too consciously, for fear of having to, per force, examine hers as well.

She was to greet each guest as he arrived with a kiss. Not just a peck on the cheek, but a real one, with tongues and body-rubbing and teasing. All these strangers. And him. Then, to the liquor cabinet with each man's taste in her mouth, and his request in her mind. But constantly aware of his eyes on her, his needs, his desire that she be constantly accessible and responsive to him, over and above the calls of his guests. And later, as the game is generating just the right amount of tension and energy flowing between one player and the next, he will beckon her to lean over him. He takes the front of her shirt, so loosely modest, wrenches the fastenings apart. Her breasts bounce free, nipples already swollen, so sensitive, awaiting the familiar touch. It comes. She is suddenly beneath the table, being pulled this way and that, and seeing cocks, ready for her mouth and hands-- all demanding, all petulant that they be the first one to feel her moist warmth. But she knows the one she seeks. By this time, she knows very well. And reaches. And connects. And sighs in pleasure.

3. She hears the men come in, a few disconnected voices, becoming louder and more raucous as they gather. She is sitting in the chair he had placed her upon earlier, hands secured behind her back, in the fashion he most enjoys. Her skirt, so prim and demure when she stands, is in disarray around the top of her thighs, no hands free to tidy it.

She knows his voice by now, can pick it out from the others, just as she has learned his walk and the set of his shoulders as he's walking toward her in a crowded room. All these memory fragments coalesce, until she can only, in her mind's eye, see the head of his erect cock above her, framed by massive thighs, comfortingly solid and protectively threatening. Her jaw falls slack at the memory of her tongue, placed just so, at the underside of the head, softly breathing and scarcely moving at all, the way he's come to know she craves it. Just sitting in her mouth like a pulsating entity, rather divorced from the rest of him.

The door opens. He comes into the room, leaving the door slightly ajar, so she can now distinguish words and the unhurried chatter among the men gathered in the next room. She doesn't listen, just watches him as he comes toward her, familiar and strange, all at once and in ways she is just imagining. He reaches toward her hair, touches it gently and bends over. "Tonight, you are the stakes", he whispers. "You'll be blindfolded, so you won't know who it is. Ever." No, she shakes her head automatically. Just as automatic comes his hand, blurring, quick and strong against her cheek. Once. And again. The sound of the contact is obviously heard in the next room, because the conversation stops abruptly. He then takes her by her erect nipples, raises her awkwardly out of the chair and leans her against the front of him. He strokes her hair, lifts her face and soothes her cheek with the fingers of his right hand. "You'll be just fine-- I'll be here...". And turns her, wrists still strapped together, toward the lighted doorway.

4. She is standing over him, resting her hand on the nape of his neck, stroking his hair, pressing her pelvis against his shoulders. She can see his cards (best to fold on this hand, she thinks). She can also, from her vantage point, see the half- erection between his legs. Feeling shy and restrained about touching him there, in front of others, although he's been quite specific about this, time and again. He shifts slightly, and, in reading her so precisely (or is it really him all the time?), takes her hand and carries it to himself. She is leaning over him awkwardly now, and his hand has reached her left nipple, which becomes immediately inflamed, always wanting more. More intensity, more wetness, more touching, more sensation, more pain, more, more... Just as he has sensitized the rest of her body (she never realized the greed in her before-- almost matching his now) that aches for his touch, now firm, now brutal, now sweetly soothing. Especially noticeable when he's left her, for an errand, for his job. or just to stand apart and watch her in her need, while he withholds. For just the right number of minutes.

She is aware of the others watching, of the energy turning, of her withdrawal and focus totally upon him-- the protector, the tormentor. Him. He teases, he pulls, there are sudden jolts of agony through her, followed by the gentlest caress. She wants no involvement with the other men, just to be seen and wanted is enough. She wants to be handled brutally, and without compassion, by all who have come here. She wants both and neither, all jumbled inside her and centered in her lungs that cannot draw enough air to sustain her legs, which weaken and buckle. He catches her...

QUESTION: What was your earliest SM/B&D thoughts at age 9?

Primarily thoughts of immobilization, helplessness, non- accountability (it's difficult to think of those concepts in 9-year old terms).

QUESTION: If you were to try to explain to a "straight" person about the unusual, and what you got out of it, what would you say?

I explain rarely, but when I do share that part of my life, I speak of it in terms of stretching my personal envelope to include different modes of sexual and sensual behavior, and I get a chance, when engaged in this activity, to explore areas of dependence, trust and intimacy that are difficult for me any other way.

QUESTION: Were you spanked as a child, or have you ever witnessed another child being spanked?

Rarely spanked as a child (I vaguely remember my father's belt, but surely don't equate that with any sexual feelings-- it did NOT feel sexual to me. It just hurt), and don't recall witnessing another's punishment. Might have happened, just don't recall it.

QUESTION: Why do you think you have your particular sexual interests?

Just lucky, I guess... I'd like to answer in a more relevant tone, but nothing comes to mind right now. Refer to No. 1 for pertinent connections?

QUESTION: How close have you come to acting out the fantasy you sent? Have you served groups?

Haven't come close to acting out the fantasies I enclosed in my initial response. Not sure I wish to. Have never been involved in s/m group activity, except as the participant in some whipping games (whew, that didn't make much sense, did it?)

QUESTION: In answer to the question of how many times you have had SM oriented sex, you wrote "many". My computer could use some help in understanding "many". Could you give a "guesstimate"?

Many...lots. This is a tricky question, since much s/m activities doesn't culminate in sex per se, just an erotic action that is self-contained. If I interpret the question strictly (no pun intended), s/m oriented sex happened about 100-200 times? -- this is really impossible. I've tried to induce[introduce] my partners into s/m activity before I even knew what I was about.

Feel free to contact me again-- I might be able to help you in passing out your forms to some of my friends-- both dom. and sub.

#005-231, white male, 34, some college, divorced, significant other knows of his interests, an only child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically conservative, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 12, tries to meet through ads and by introducing others to SM, has used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, dominant, 2/12, pain oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was sexually abused but believes that he was emotionally abused as a child, has one main fantasy. Hand-written.

Subject: SM Research

First, I would like to commend your efforts. As you state in your survey form, this is basically an unstudied area, generally assigned to the "pervert category". I am pleased to see someone finally make a serious effort.

You ask about fantasies-- and their fulfillment. I suppose I should consider my self fortunate since I was able to fulfill my favorite fantasy.

I have always been a spanking devotee. I was spanked with hand, paddle, ruler, belt and when I was in my early teens, with a 1" X 4" building stake. I now do not enjoy being spanked but I do know what it feels like. I also know what the anticipation of the punishment feels like, I remember waiting for my father to come home and then being sent out in the woods behind the house to pick a switch out for him to use. I can remember the butterflys in my stomach waiting for my punishment.

I don't know at what age exactly I began to enjoy giving spankings, but I believe it was about when I entered puberty. Probably the sexual excitement was what brought out this interest. I remember at about 11 or 12 I began to look for reasons to spank my younger sister who was 3 yrs younger than me. I also looked for spanking other girls, although, due to the fact that I lived in the country, there were not many opportunities. Our German babysitter had a lovely blond daughter, about my age, with a nice round bottom that I would spank gently when we played house.

My sister was pretty cooperative about it until she began to enter puberty. When we were older (I 17, she 14) I offered her money for a spanking but she no longer wanted to participate. We never mention it anymore.

During my teens I would travel to San Francisco to visit my grand parents, by bus. I soon discovered that, due to my appearing to be older, I was able to go into adult book stores to purchase spanking publications. I bought what ever I could find. I also looked through the library for any thing on spanking in newspapers and magazines I found pictures to cut out and I was constantly of the lookout for advertisements or articles about the play "Kiss me Kate" a they were invariably accompanied by a picture of the leading lady being spanked over the knee of the leading man. Now that I look back, it is interesting to note that the media chose that particular "image" of the play to attract attention. Maybe they know something we know. I continued to buy magazines and other spanking material. Once I even made contact with an older woman in Los Angeles when I was in Long Beach aboard ship. She was interested but mistook my address "Fleet post office, San Francisco" to mean I was in San Francisco and so she stopped writing. I had totally no luck at all finding someone to spank.

After a few years in the navy I married. My wife knew of my fetish, but did not want to participate. After several years of marriage I finally got her to enjoy being spanked. I now have trained her the point that she can climax as I spank and masturbate her simultaneously. To enhance the setting I put on a spanking video, thus adding sexual stimulation.

This brings me to my fantasy, which is the point of this (forgive me) long-winded theme. Over the years I noticed that feminine domination was "played-up" more than its opposite. I presume that it was considered more evil to "punish women" than men. At any rate, looking at all these mistresses in garters, hose, and panties made me want to spank them. I even went so far (once) as to call a dominatrix and leave a message on her recorder telling her she should be spanked. This became my main fantasy.

I had gone to a few SM parlors but the "submissive" girls usually asked to not be spanked too hard, and they merely lay passively over my lap, not even moving. One day I went to a place in L.A. that I had previously frequented. The submissive girl I spoke to on the phone was busy when I arrived. I was offered another girl, who, I was told, was on her first day on the job and was waiting for her first customer. I think it was true because they wanted to have another girl with her. She was a six-foot-tall blond, very pretty.

We had a good session, with some spanking, bondage and mutual orgasm. We began to correspond and she soon opened up to me that she had a fantasy of being in a position of authority or power and being dominated, humiliated and punished. As she continued to work the SM parlor she found all the men wanted her to be dominant. This only whetted her appetite for being submissive. I went to her place several times and we acted out this perfectly compatible fantasy, she would act dominant, I would be submissive, then "turn the tables" on her, spanking her, humiliating her and finally bringing her to sexual climax. I have yet to find a better partner. Unfortunately we went our separate ways.

I would like to be part of your study. If you want more information, send me your requirement. I will be pleased to answer any questions you have.

#006-103, white female, 25, college graduate, never married, significant other knows of her interests, a youngest child, strict religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, never depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, first recognized her SM interests at age 4, tries to meet others through ads, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, submissive, 4/6, humiliation oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has one main fantasy. Computer printout.

Enclosed you will find a stamped and self-addressed envelope, as requested on the bottom of the enclosed questionnaire.

I am a 25 year old, single, white educated (M.B.A.) female (Jewish), who has been a Spanking enthusiast for a very long time. I don't know where or how I developed this interest, but I do know that I've had the interest ever since my earliest memory, age 3 or 4.

To answer Question #40. My favorite "SM" fantasy, really, my favorite "Spanking" fantasy, is that I am a naughty 12-year old little girl, adorable, loving, sweet, and smart, who sometimes steps out of line, and needs to be disciplined in the "old fashioned" way, by a loving and concerned parent. They almost always are with a male fantasy (I am completely heterosexual), however, on occasion I do fantasize having a loving (and very warm and beautiful) step-mother who "takes me in hand", when I fail to toe the line. The fantasies are not sexual fantasies, but need I say, they arouse the woman in me.

I know it must seem a little confusing to you, however, it is difficult to explain. Not everybody has to make love after a spanking, whether in fantasy or in reality. And since I am very selective, careful, and conservative, with my sexuality, I choose to fantasize more in my mind and to keep it non- sexual.

On the flip side of that, I also masturbate while reading erotic spanking literature. The literature is very potent for me when it involves domestic discipline with the spankees between the ages of 12-16. The disciplinarian in the literature that I prefer almost always has to be a male.

I have come very close to acting out my fantasies of being a naughty little 12-year old girl. In fact, I have done it on a few occasions. In the past year an a half, I've met some wonderful people into the Spanking scene, and after developing a safe and healthy friendship with a select few, we've engaged in role-playing scenarios.

I hope this letter and the information within it has helped you in your survey. You may contact me at the address listed below, however, please do keep my identity anonymous.

Again, my only fetish is Spanking. I perceive SM as a very different activity than Spanking. And in regard to Question 33 and 34 [About how much did you spend on SM equipment and erotic clothing], I haven't spent much on items, but rather have invested approximately $200.00 in Spanking literature, Spanking videos, etc.

Good luck with your research.

#007-919, white male, 70, post graduate, widowed, the oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically conservative, rarely depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM inter- ests, has friends with SM interests, discovered SM through pornography, first recognized at age 30, has not tried to meet others, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM sometimes helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, versatile, pain oriented, would disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child. Typed.

Sorry it has taken me so long to prepare my answers. They have taken a lot of thinking through. My total experience, with one exception, has been of reading and fantasy, and observation by attendance at two "shows" in New York City, Bell de Jour and The Castle, [SM clubs] both in 1984. Until seeing those shows I would not have considered participating. At the end of the formal show the audience was asked "Who would like to be spanked" and "Who would like to spank a girl?". After watching some of both, as it was winding down, I got up nerve enough to be spanked, and I loved it. It wasn't so much the spanks as the way she rubbed around my rear with her finger tips. I must have been ticklish because each time I shuddered like everything as she was rubbing. Under no circumstances would I consider verbal humiliation but I am beginning to think I would like to try some more. I was sorry I didn't get my nerve up enough to then have time to take the invitation to spank a girl. I now fantasize over the activities I saw and am trying to sort out the ones I would like to try.

So, with that for a background perhaps my answers may be interpreted in a meaningful way.

QUESTION: If you remember, please tell me about the pornography you read that first turned you on to the unusual.

About 1940 I read a book about two girls who had a book store and owed a lot of money. The arranged for one of the girls to run the store for a year and sold the services of the other girl to a rich man for a year to do with as he wished. His house was big and in a secluded wooded area. She served as a maid and housekeeper and was spanked for anything not satisfactory. I don't remember the details except for one incident whereby a two inch round pole was mounted horizontally high enough so when she straddled it her feet would not reach the floor. Her hands would be tied over her head just tight enough so her whole weight rested on the pole. She would be left this way for several hours. When he wanted to spank her on the pole he would move the hand tie forward so she would be at a 45 degree angle with full weight on her vulva area.

QUESTION: Were there things about the unusual that turned you off when you first heard about them, but that you now enjoy?

Yes. The thought of being tied up was repulsive. Now that I have seen a couple of stage presentations, after conditioning by much reading, I am used to the idea and am almost at the point of getting up enough nerve, when I go to New York again, to try it.

#008-130, white female, 45, college graduate, divorced, significant other knows of her interests, a youngest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically conservative, rarely depressed for over a week, sometimes feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, was introduced to SM by another person at the age of 42, tries to meet others through ads, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is usually heterosexual, submissive, humiliation oriented, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand- written.

My favorite fantasy would be to (preferably in the context of a very loving marriage) be "surprised" by a very sexually dominant husband with a situation involving himself & perhaps 2 or maybe 3 other men. (I wouldn't object to another woman but basically prefer men.) I'd be restrained & blindfolded. I like the idea of being totally vulnerable & unable to know who was there. They would have as their goal making me into a sex-hungry animal with no inhibitions. To achieve this, they would tease me a lot. They would arouse me with a lot of kissing & tonguing all over my face & body, occasionally entering every orifice with a finger or dildo or cock-- but just a tantalizing amount-- a few strokes-- just enough to whet the appetite but not fulfill the want/desire. Then they would make me service them orally & let me know that I was totally open to them & helpless. Perhaps if I didn't respond as they wished, or reacted a little slower than they thought appropriate, I'd be spanked or whipped to "improve" my performance.

#009-460, white male, 35, college graduate, married, significant other knows of his interests, an oldest child, strict religious training, no religious beliefs, politically liberal, rarely depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 12, tries to meet others at SM clubs, has used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, usually submissive, 2/100, pain oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was sexually abused but does believe that he was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

My ultimate fantasy is to be beat up by a group of bodybuilding women. Dressed in shorts and tank tops. They would take turns punching me in the stomach and face while I was being held by the other two.

I would then be made their slave and house keeper. Each night I would have the privilege of boxing against one of these muscular women who would knock me down time after time only to have me get up for more punishment. If she got arm weary before I had enough, then one of the other women would take over. To summarize I would need a good cut person.

#010-59, white female, 32, post graduate, married, significant other knows of her interests, an only child, no religious training, no religious beliefs, politically liberal, always depressed for over a week, often feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, first recognized her SM interests at age 17, tries to meet by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a lifestyle, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is homosexual, dominant, humiliation oriented, would approve if her children grew up to have SM interests, believes that she was both sexually and emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests.

I found your questionnaire somewhat difficult to answer. Perhaps the multiple choice format forces one's answers to seem vague and needing further explanation. I certainly felt restricted in my responses. So, I prefer to add some additional background.

I am a Lesbian who lives with my female lover. I am also legally married, and although my spouse still "lives" with us, my husband is such in name only. In the last seven of our ten years of "marriage", the only rush I've gotten out of having him around is really seeing his ego destruction and humiliation. It's quite a high for my lover and I to see the male take the abuse women have had to put up with for eons. So his submissiveness, subservience, restraint, punishment, and feminization does help satisfy our feminist psycho-sexual imperatives. The fear of being exposed and his still harboring "romantic" notions of his relationship towards me are what I think still keeps him here, but those are his problems and notions, not mine.

I put down 17 as the year I first realized my unusual sexual interests. At that time it was more of a general exhilaration I got when I discovered feminism and women's issues. It wasn't SM per se, but sometimes I'd even masturbate to the idea that women would gain in equality and prove themselves more capable than men in nearly all things important. A little later I occasionally read female domination pornography on the sly, but for all practical purposes I considered myself "straight". I even got into the whole "medieval romantic love" scene in college, long engagement, and then marriage. Being married was O.K., for about a year and a half, but then came...

"REBIRTH." I met an old friend. She seemed rather different than in the old days, and confided that she was always in the past a closet Lesbian but had been out in the open for the last few years. She turned me on to one of the most beautiful periods in my life over the next several months. Soon after, I had shared Sapphic joy with numerous female lovers, while at the same time getting really deep into feminism. I lost nearly all feelings for my husband except as a symbol of oppression. I really got off on fantasies of taking vengeance on males, and I guess it came out in minor abuse and quarrels with him, as we were constantly at each other's throats in argument. It was during this time that I truly started having SM fantasies. The only physical relations I had with him that I enjoyed were when I introduced female domination/transvestite scenarios with him. He acquiesced more and more to these demands, enjoyed them, but he grew filled with guilt, shame, depression, and self-doubt, which thrilled me still more. Discovering my Lesbianism at the end of three years of marriage, seemed to totally crush him. Throwing fits of rage, recrimination, trying to reassert himself, he tried refusing to take part in my SM "games" as he called them. When I said that divorce was a fine solution for me, he completely broke down, begging me to stay, admitting he'd do anything, saying he'd accept my Lesbianism and dominant needs completely. So, for the last 7 years (4 years for my lover and a couple of "select" female friends), hubby's served as a perfect example of the male groveling brought to heel as obedient, shamed, ego-less, feminized role model.

From the fact that the above describes my current lifestyle, your questionnaire concerning my favorite fantasy doesn't mean much to me. We've played out nearly every female dominant/male submissive fantasy on my husband (and on occasion to "boyfriends" of some women I've met). When a new idea crops up, we can live it.

However, I do have one sexual desire that could be termed "fantasy". It would [not?] happen in my lifetime, and unfortunately, probably never at all, but it excites the hell out of me. I'd love to see all of society based along the lines of female supremacy with all roles inverted and the difference in the social hierarchy many times magnified.

For me it's a dream come true to think of some future Amazon matriarchy where the norm is the beautiful, strong confident female who holds all reign over the male cowering and feminized bereft of all strength he once exhibited, be it physical, mental, political, sexual and spiritual. Yes, my fantasy is for sometime and somewhere where the sex role reversal would be so commonplace, ingrained, and complete that neither sex could imagine it otherwise. It would be there where the male would be thought of and punished as a transvestite when he tired to wear something other than his dainty undies and skirts, not when he properly had them on. It would be that world where, if some man were to think of himself as having any power or import such ideas would themselves be the "fantasy".

QUESTION: Do you prefer your unusual relationships to be loving and warm or cold and impersonal?

On the surface, cold and impersonal with the goal of maleness being objectified in general.

QUESTION: Do you feel safe and secure when you are in an unusual sexual relationship? Yes.

QUESTION: You are playing strip poker with three other people, with the losers becoming the sex slaves of the winner for the night. Everyone is down to just one article of clothing. What happens?

Two couples playing poker would be 2 women and 2 men. Final winning hands would be by one of the women. The triumphant woman would herself remove her last article of clothing as well and order the 2 males to shave completely [their body hair] and then dress in the female clothes. She'd declare the other female her equal and they would make up the men completely as women and make them act as female servants doing menial and humiliating tasks while she (the winner) would take the other female as a lover, tormenting and shaming the feminized obedient males.

QUESTION: A couple decides to set up rules for their unusual relationship. What are the major rules and penalties?

A women decides for a couple that the rules will be set up so that her husband will live in a totally subservient and feminized state. To the world he will appear as a submissive Lesbian partner. To her friends (all female) he will be merely a male to be degraded and used as an example of man's inferiority. Any lack of deference and obedience to women in general is cause for major punishment-- being exposed in public in front of strange females as a male slave in drag.

QUESTION: The dominant is seated on a couch and the slave is standing. What is being said?

The female dominant is seated inspecting the transvestized male slave standing, head lowered, before her. She constantly taunts his appearance, and verbally abuses him. She questions him on the proper role of males making him reiterate a catechism on female supremacy and male feminization and why it is the proper relationship between the sexes.

QUESTION: You are at a slave auction. Are you buying or are you purchasing? Who do you buy or who buys you?

I am being bought at the auction, by a group of beautiful dominant lesbians.

#011-691, white male, 32, college grad, married, significant other knows of his interests, a youngest child, no religious training, no religious beliefs, no political beliefs, always depressed for over a week, always feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, does not have friends who have SM interests, discovered SM through pornography at the age of 15, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM sometimes helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, usually submissive, 0/0, humiliation oriented, would disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was sexually abused but does believe that he was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand- written.

It is the near future, and women as a group have revolted and taken over power throughout the world. Leaders of the feminist revolt, predominantly Lesbians, have convinced all women that the only way to retain complete power is to completely reverse the old rules and relationships between the sexes and thereby establishing a more "natural order".

All power is to be placed in the hands of women with males relinquishing all rights and position except those positions considered "feminine" in the past. Males are psychologically and physically shamed and humiliated. FORCED TVism and feminization of the male is the most important and enjoyable tool the women use in crushing the male ego. All males eventually are reduced to degraded, cowering, and ashamed beings in their newly acquired girlish roles and dress.

Soon all females, even the straight ones, come to exhilarate in their new pride, power, and strength. So much so to the point that all women find the only use of the male is the joy they find in humiliating him further, teasing him about his feminized state, and seeing him in submissive and subservient roles that once belonged to women. Sexually, at last males are allowed no outlet, except, at most to orally serve the female- and even this is a punishment as no male is ever allowed orgasm at any time. All women, realizing that sexual, emotional and physical love is possible only between equals, and that the male is merely a sub-species, turn to each other in Sapphic Sisterhood. Finally males are reduced even in the household (when even allowed there) to the status of merely feminized maid and slave for Lesbian Mistress. His only occasional contact with sex is as "forced" onlooker who must view his final humiliation, by seeing his teasing mistresses in the throes of their "true" and Lesbian love.

Many details of the above fantasy are left out, because they are too numerous to mention and each is in a way a fantasy of its own. Males forced into various female roles subordinate to women could all be part of the above story. Males cross- dressed and made up forced to become women's "wives", secretaries, waitresses, maids, airline stewardesses, etc etc. As part of the role-reversed society I envision all kinds of fantasies about turnabout situations: sports minded women forcing males to assume cheerleader dress for their events, sororities reducing macho college males to maids at their house, women execs sending male secretaries for coffee, girlish males stripping at bachelorette parties, women whistling at shamed short-skirted males on the street, beauty contests for males with female judges. It goes on and on.

#012-815, white male 36, has not graduated high school, married, significant other knows of his interests, neither the youngest nor oldest child, strict religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, sometimes depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends with SM interests, was introduced to SM by another person at the age of 17, tries to meet others through ads, has used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is bisexual, usually dominant, 12/200, humiliation oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

I would like for my wife and myself to go to a s/m club. I would like for her to be on her hands and knees with her collar around her neck and a leash attached to it. We go in and I set down at a table she sets on the floor at my feet.

Up on the stage the lights come on and a male steps out on stage and tells everyone the show is about to begin. Then two people come on stage. They say they are there to show new thing out in the s/m. They talk to the people in the club. After they showed everything they had to show they said if anyone wanted to try them to come on up.

I pulled gerry to her feet and laid her to the stage. When I got her to the stage I had her lay across a saw horse that was on stage. I tied her hands and feet to the tie downs on the saw horse. Then I picked up a whip that they had shown in their show. I swung it though the air and let it land on her buttocks. She jumped alittle but was not able to move. She cryed out in pain and a tear came to her eye. Please Master she cryed don't hit me again it hurts. I told her it did not hurt me a bit and swung it again. She said I will do anything you tell me if you just stop hitting me. I laid the whip down and turned to the audience. Anyone want to use this little slut slave.

I sat down next to the stage and watched the show. She had to perform oral sex for male and female alike. She was spanked and whipped until her ass was a bright red. She was screwed in the ass and pussy. When everyone was done I left her tied on the stage. When the club closed I untied her and took her home to put to bed and rest for the night. Only in the morning to be reminded what happened the night before.

#013-65, white female, 30, some college, married, significant other knows of her interests, neither the youngest nor oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, sometimes depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, discovered SM through reading pornography at the age of 28, has not tried to meet others, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of her interests in SM, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is bisexual, submissive, 1/2, humiliation oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, believes that she was both sexually and emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Handwritten.

My favorite SM fantasy would be something like this.

While masturbating I am "discovered" by my husband and a few friends They decide to teach me a lesson by first tying me down Then they remove they're belts and begin to whip me ass and across my nipples-- I am forced to suck all their cocks and swallow all the come-- Deciding i need more they force me to jack them off with everyone coming on my body. I must then rub their come all over myself and play with my self till I come. And finally the largest widest cock goes straight up my ass-- while another slides into my wet cunt. Another fucks my large tits-- And I am grabbed by the hair forcing to blow the remaining cock.

During most of this fuck session-- I am being called a whore, slut-- cock lover lots of verbal abuse--

tyed down-- all for limbs And men abusing my body! Love it!

#014-895, white male, 35, college graduate, never married, no significant other, an oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, sometimes depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has no friends with SM interests, discovered SM through reading pornography at the age of 25, tries to meet others through ads, has used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM sometimes helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, usually submissive, 2/2, humiliation oriented, does not know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

I am at a medical establishment for a physical and am with a beautiful young nurse. She has me completely naked while filling out some forms. As she fills them out I can see her eyes occasionally looking at my penis and as she moves and I can see that full erection pointing straight up. When she has me stand up to measure my height she rubs seductively against me but i'm not allowed to take any initiative with her.

I'm taken back into an x ray room when there is another woman, x ray tech. She has me pose in a variety of positions while the other girl helps and watches. By this time my penis is really throbbing, as the girls order me to pose they also bring out a camera and take some pictures of me. Sometimes they take turns posing with me rubbing my body with oil and stroking my cock but ordering me not to cum or they put their fingers in my ass.

After a while they open the door and lead me down the hall still completely nude and with a full erection. There's quite a few women who enjoy watching me be led down the hall to a small auditorium where I'm tied to a chair with my legs spread and left there.

I'm left in there alone but the door is open and so women walk by they can look in and see me. Some of them come in and play with my cock and stroke it more with oil. Some of them even sit in my lap and let my penis slide into their vaginas or assholes. Finally there is about 5 or 6 women in the room and they notice me and force me to masturbate while they watch.

#015-68, white female, 47, college graduate, divorced, significant other knows of her interests, neither the youngest nor oldest child, strict religious training, strong religious beliefs, politically conservative, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has no friends with SM interests, was introduced to SM by another individual at the age of 40, tries to meet others through ads, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, dominant, 5/12, humiliation oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Typed.

I enjoyed filling our your questionnaire. I love the dominant lifestyle and wish that more Women could come to realize its benefits and pleasures.

Thus far I have not met many others that are in the scene. The few I have met are "normal", ordinary, attractive, and intelligent people.

If I or My slave can be of further help in your study, let Me know.

I have described a favorite fantasy and permitted My slave to do likewise.

For Female Superiority,

------

A fantasy that is also a frequent reality is to be served orally by My slave while I urge him on with My crop. I lie propped on pillows and place slave lying toward the foot of the bed positioned with his face between My legs. I am nearly always wearing stockings, high heeled shoes or boots, and My long kid gloves. slave is often wearing nipple clips. I orchestrate his performance by cracking My crop hard across his ass or back and enjoy his cries muffled by My glorious pussy.

Another position is sitting on his face and using My crop on his legs and belly while smothering his pleading mouth. In this position, I can also use My penis whip on his crotch while he struggles in his shackles.

An extension of the fantasy which I hope to fulfill in the near future is to be given oral service by another Mistress' slave while She whips him and to reciprocate by having slave give oral worship front and rear as I lay on My cat o' nine tails.

#016-919, white female, 50, college graduate, widowed, no significant other, neither the youngest nor the oldest child, strict religious training, moderate religious beliefs, not political, sometimes depressed for over a week, sometimes feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes hers are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 18, tries to meet by introducing others to SM and through ads, has not used the services of a professional, is occasionally a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, usually submissive, humiliation oriented, would disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was sexually abused, but believes she was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand- written.

The following scenario incorporates may of my favorite fantasies, all of which I have experienced, and is typical (if not exactly like one) of several sessions as "slave" I've experienced.

As previously ordered by my male, sexy master, I dress in sexy lingerie, nylons, heels and sleeping mask blindfold, then crawl to the living room, kneel with thighs open wide, hand on thighs, head bowed and silent. I wait thus until he silently approaches me and I feel a wide leather dog collar being fastened on my neck and a sharp tug on the leash attached.

"Keep your head bowed and don't speak unless spoken too, Slut!"

"Yes, Master."

"You will obey me, won't you, Cunt!"

"Yes, Master."

"You are my property, Bitch, and you are only good for serving me, right, Slave?!"

"Yes, Master."

"Now kiss my feet!" I kiss his leather boots. "Lick them, Slave- Cunt!" I obey until "Stop, Bitch!" I feel may head jerked erect any my nose held tight. When I gasp for air a bit- gag with reigns is shoved in my mouth and secured. Cuffs with short "hobble" chains are put on my wrists and ankles.

"Crawl, Slut-- move!" He drives me with a riding crop around the house. "Whoa, Pony-Cunt, your Master is tired!" He mounts my ass, crossing his ankles under my belly (I have fantasized spurs, but never used). I continue crawling as before, but much slower with more crop hits!

He dismounts, finally. "You are no Pony-girl, Slut! You need punishment, don't you Cunt-Slave?" I nod, still gagged. He unhobbles me, roughly rolls me on my back with his foot and strips me nude, waist down, then rolls me face down and keeping his foot on my ass unhooks and strips of my bra.

"In the chair, Slut!" I crawl and (with help) sit in a straight chair. "Open that cunt, Slave!" I obey and am soon securely bound, thighs spread wide open. My leash is attached to my bound wrists pulling my head back so if I try to raise it my slave's collar chokes me. He removes the gag and blindfold (I can only see the ceiling!). A rope binds my breasts flat. He teases and torments me with his mouth, cock, tongue, hands, vibrator, dildoe, and things I can't distinguish in my torment, on my body, face, nipples, cunt. When I start loudly begging for him to stop or take me, he plasters wide tape across my mouth. "Silence, Bitch!" He increases the torment and taunts me (i.e.): "Now beg, slut, plead for this cock in your hot cunt, Slave. Want it, Tramp!", (rubbing my face with the tip). He delights in my muffled pleas. Finally I am freed except for the taped mouth, collar and bound wrists and shoved to the floor. He straps my thighs, knees and ankles together and drags me by them placing me before a mirrored wall where I can see my suffering and helplessness! After a long time he comes and sits down in a comfortable chair with the newspaper. "Come here, Cunt, your Master needs a footstool!" I obey with much writhing and struggling! "Good Doggie! Lie still now." He detaches the leash from my wrists so I can relax a little but strikes me with the crop whenever I move slightly. He is teasing and humiliating me with his bare feet, his toes probing my cunt, breasts, and ass I lie on my back where his foot has rolled me. I remain so a long time while he relaxes, reads, watches TV sports, etc. When he sees me trying to watch the screen he blindfolds me. Later he gets up; "Stay, Bitch!" I don't hear him return and have rolled on my side, have disobeyed.

I feel the lash of a "cat o'nine tales" (home made leather thongs attached to a wooden handle), two or three whacks on my ass and body. "You'll get more after your supper, Bitch! Now crawl over and feed from your bowl, Doggie." I struggle and writhe to where I smell food. Almost reaching it I feel a tug on my leash as he attaches it to something so I can just reach "my" double-doggie bowl (with difficulty) with my mouth. I turn my head and make a muffled "plea" but instead of removing the tape he shoves my mouth into the messy food in the bowl with his foot. It covers my noes too! When I struggle he lifts his foot, strips off the tape and shoves my face in again. "Eat, Bitch!" I eat with much struggle, with my mouth and tongue! I hear a splash in the other bowl. "Drink Bitch!" My face is shoved into a bowl of beer which I proceed to lap up as soon as I get my breath. I hear him at the table enjoying a relaxing meal and know he is savoring my humiliation.

"Finish it all, Slut-Bitch, every bite!" I finally stop, thinking the bowl is empty, and start to relax. I feel a crack from the whip and my blindfold is jerked off. "Look at that mess. Clean it up Bitch!" I proceeded to lick up what has spilled on the floor. When it is clean, "Good doggie, come and get your desert."

He unbinds my legs and wrists so I can crawl where he leads me and stands before me. "Sit up and beg for it, Bitch!" I kneel and beg to suck and lick his cock and balls. He holds my leash so it is very short and I can barely reach his cock tip with my tongue. Finally I've begged enough so he lets me suck and lick 'til I swallow his "cum", but for the last drops he withdraws and shoots at my face (still with some food clinging to it). "You're a mess, Slave. Go clean up that messy cunt!" I obey.

After a short respite I am ordered to crawl in and lie on the bed face up and spread-eagled. He ties me down securely and alternately with a whip lashes me from my breasts to my foot soles. He brings me to the brink; unties me; "Turn over, Slut!" He places pillows under me to raise my ass high and reties my ankles wide apart and straps my arms, wrists to elbows, behind me. He continues the whip and sexual torment. Finally he stops and walks out leaving me "hot" and writhing. My ass is burning too from the whip! After a long wait he returns with a wide leather belt in his hand, doubled. "Now for your punishment, you lousy Bitch! You need it, don't you Slut?" "Yes Master."

You'll get it, 50 lashes on your Slave ass, Whore!" While he speaks he is striking my back, legs and foot soles lightly but menacingly. "Kiss it, Slut!" He holds the belt to my lips and I obey. "Beg for it, Cunt, 50 lashes on your crummy ass. You need it, Slave, don't you?" I beg as ordered. He begins the belt lashing ordering me to count the strokes aloud as they land. Some come fast, some slow, even minutes apart. When I anticipate and count too soon the next stroke is extra hard. He blindfolds me-- "Now guess when you'll get it, cunt!" Some are even longer apart then and I'm hollering from pain and surprise! I feel my nose pinched again and a rubber ball is strapped in my mouth. "Mustn't disturb the neighbors, Cunt. When I count the last ten you'll know it for a long time. You'll have the welts and a red ass tomorrow, Baby, won't you? Answer me, Slut!" I moan into the gag and continue making muffled sounds as the hardest strokes yet fall on my burning ass. "Forty-eight!, 49! One more Tramp, ready Slave?" I moan loudly, ready and dreading, but instead I hear him walk out. A long time later I hear "This will keep your pretty ass looking good, Slave! Ready!?" Before I can moan I hear the whirr and feel the stinging torture of the riding crop!! "50!!"

He quickly unties my ankles, positions and uses me dog fashion for a while, then frees my arms, turns me on my back and penetrates me from above; finally taking off the gag and holding my leash tight for a long kiss at the end.

He gets up after and we relax a bit. I start to stand too but he snaps "Crawl, Bitch!" He leads me on a shortened leash to the living room couch. I'm on my hands and knees before it. "Don't move!" He grabs my discarded panties and nylons and rolls them up and stuffs it in my mouth and ties it cruelly! He brings two glasses of whine but I must serve as his footstool again as he slowly sips half of his before I'm allowed to sit and drink mine!

QUESTION: Do you find the thought of unusual sex more or less exciting than actual unusual sex? (Or put another way, is fantasy more fun than reality?)

I believe that actually doing it is more exciting to me. When I do experience a fantasy (as close as it can be) I get very "turned on" sexually and am in a very peaceful state emotionally and mentally even though I may be in a physically difficult state.

However, my favorite fantasy is probably too impractical to ever occur in it's entirety, so I'm "forced" to resort to fantasy "fun" there.

I have played "pony-girl"; being bridled-gagged, hobbled, sometimes blindfolded, then crawling with my master riding on my "ass" wielding a small whip or crop and guiding me with reins; or he leads me with leash attached to my neck collar, crawling or walking.

In my complete fantasy I'm in more elaborate leather equipment, a sort of helmet bit-gag with blinders and/or eye covers (when he desires), harnessed and hobbled securely. My master, perhaps his assistant mistress and his friends ride me. I'm also wearing a saddle and stirrups and the rider uses spurs (and the crop). This takes place outdoors on a sandy or grassy track so I can be used thus extensively with just some sort of pads for my knees and hands. I'm nude, sometimes. I wear strapped in plugs (2) [in her anus and vagina] which will vibrate when he desires. The butt-plug has some sort of long "tail" attached.

I also sometimes pull a pony-cart with one or two passengers. I'm erect, very firmly attached to the crosspiece on the front of the tongue (essentially restrained as before).

Between uses I'm hobbled and attached by my leash to a wooden post, sometimes on hands and knees (wrists hobbled too), sometimes kneeling or standing with wrists cuffed behind, otherwise free unless something stays for punishment.

For long rests, including overnight, I'm in my stable on clean straw, food and water is placed in troughs on the floor which I lap on hands and knees. (I'm subject to sexual use at all times of course.)

QUESTION: Do you prefer your unusual relationships to be loving and warm or cold and impersonal?

Loving and warm, in fact, to insure that n