Additional SM Research Data


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by Norman Breslow

Data: Fantasies and Correspondence

The respondents to the questionnaire were asked to send their current or favorite SM fantasy along with the completed questionnaire. They were told that they could make the fantasy as long and as short as they wished, and to indicate how close they had come to acting it out.

About half the people who returned the questionnaire also included the fantasy material. Most of the fantasies ranged from a few paragraphs to a few pages in length. Some of the respondents also volunteered to be included in a more in- depth study, and about 200 longer "follow-up" questionnaires were sent to these people. Of these, about 75 completed follow-up questionnaires were returned. Some of the questions in the follow-up questionnaire were the same for all the respondents to answer, while other questions were tailored to the person it was sent to, based on their answers to the initial questionnaire.

While the mostly "open-ended" questions asked in the follow-up questionnaire do not quantify easily for use in a statistical analysis, they were nevertheless invaluable to the research: This material shows the broad range of sexual interests incorporated within the term "sadomasochism"; they raised questions that led to new areas of investigation, such as issues of control in SM fantasies and behavior; and they helped explain and expand upon the results of the statistical analysis of the first questionnaire. Many of the respondents who took part in the follow-up study offer insights and information that cannot be found elsewhere.

The following material is a sampling of the fantasies that were returned with the first questionnaire. The material was selected to be representative of the responses that were received, and to give an idea of the variety of people who engage in SM activity.

I have attempted to reproduce this material as faithfully as possible. When necessary, references that might have identified the respondent were omitted. Any clarification's made by me are placed inside brackets [ ].

Preceding each respondent's fantasy material is a synopsis of the person's answers to the initial questionnaire. While this material should be self explanatory, some numbers, such as "5/9", do need clarification. The first numeral represents the number of people the respondent had SM sex with, and the second numeral represents the number of times (sessions) the respondent had SM sex, during the twelve months prior to the respondent filling out the questionnaire. For example, 5/9 means 5 different people and 9 SM sessions during the previous 12 months.

I want to explain the use of one term which some readers might find offensive. It is "unusual sex", and it is used in place of SM from time to time. Back in the early and mid-1980's, SM was considered by some to mean torture and bloody sex, so the term "unusual sex" was frequently used in contact magazines in its place. I used the term unusual sex at times in both the questionnaire and follow-up questionnaire. To the best of my recollection, only one person objected to this term, writing that her interests weren't unusual. While it would be easy for me to use my word processor to replace "unusual sex" with "SM" or some other term, I've decided leave my questions and the responses in their original form.

Finally, I have made almost no comments about the responses. To comment would be akin to "armchair psychoanalysis," which would be a disservice to the people who have shared their deepest sexual thoughts with me-- and now you.

#001-30, white female, 34, high school graduate, married, significant other knows of her interests, neither the youngest nor oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, rarely depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, not sure if she has friends who have SM interests, believes hers are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 5, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of her interests in SM, believes SM sometimes helps her achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, submissive, 1/120, humiliation oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Computer printout.

Dear Research Person:

I have many, many fantasies and I enjoy numerous "creative" forms of foreplay. But the fantasies of being soundly and humiliatingly spanked on the bare bottom while wiggling and bucking over a strong and steady knee, are by far, the most enjoyable of all. These fantasies are enhanced by the allure of erotic lingerie and the thrills of acting out a little "master/slave, Daddy/Naughty Little girl" types of scenarios....but it's always spanking.

I wouldn't attempt to share them all with you, for while I do have some very elaborately detailed "favorites", I never stop "weaving" more. We'd have to establish an ongoing correspondence for me to even scratch the surface. There is an "essence" however, that is universal to all of them....

The thought of a spanking brings out the vixen in me. I am by nature, fun-loving and affable-- also very feminine and quite pretty (or so I've been told). I enjoy being naughty and have spent the greater part of my life pursuing the male that is just the right balance of masculine ego and playful dominance to understand the needs of one such as me. In all of my fantasies he is always powerful, appealing and "larger than life". More importantly, he is gentle and loving and quick to laugh. His intuition about women stems from his genuine affection for the female heart, mind and soul (to say nothing of her body!). But his understanding for the woman who needs to feel loved, and at the same time has a strong need for discipline, is what really makes him special. For her, he is all things: master, disciplinarian, teacher, daddy, lover, brat- spanker, friend...

I could list 1,000 things that could provoke the spankings, and I've probably done most of them! In real life, unfortunately, it doesn't always bring the exact sort of discipline you have in mind. And believe it or not, there are a lot of men out there who would rather eradicate your desires than accommodate them! But the one that you find who'll turn me "every which way but loose" to first deliver a good spanking, and then to make love, is one that keeps me feeling like a hot and horny teenaged girl!

[Handwritten] Hope this helps! Keep up the good work! I act out my fantasies on a regular basis-- with a husband who is my fantasy come true!

Question from the follow-up questionnaire: You mention [in the original questionnaire] that one or more of your relatives know of your sexual interests. Which one(s), and how did they find out about them? What was the reaction?

When I mentioned one of my relatives knowing, I was referring to my sister (older sister). I am 34 and she is 38. We have always been close, loving, sharing...she is my best friend, and I consider myself very lucky to have her. She is my only sister, but I have a younger brother. He does not know, and would be neither accepting or understanding. Even if he was secretly "into it". (Get the picture?) My sister knows, even understands...but is not "into it" herself. When I've shared this fascination I have with spanking, I think she is pleased I am sharing something obviously personal with her, but I do think it embarrasses her a little. Me too in a way, but I'm glad i told her.

QUESTION: You mention that you are mainly interested in humiliation, and of course, spanking. Is the spanking in itself a form of humiliation, or are there other aspects of your sexual interests which are specifically humiliation oriented. For instance, do you enjoy being scolded/stood in the corner, etc., or do you fantasize about being punished in front of others, or?

The spanking is the major part of the humiliation I spoke of. I do enjoy other forms of humiliation, such as scolding, being made to stand in a corner, or bend over in front of a full- length mirror to admire my red and burning bottom. I often fantasize about being spanked in front of others-- any group of witnesses is a turn-on. I am convinced I would not enjoy this in reality as much as I do in fantasy. (But given the right circumstances, I might like to try it.)

QUESTION: You wrote that your husband is the answer to your fantasy. One of the biggest problems for those with "non-standard" interests seems to be finding a partner who shares those interests. How did you let your husband know of your interests. How did he take the news. You imply that you have had some negative experiences with boyfriends in the past ("...there are a lot of men who would rather eradicate your interests than accommodate them!") Could you tell me about how you dealt with these situations?

When my husband and I were dating, about one month into the relationship that had been fairly "steady", we were sitting in his home, fireplace roaring on a cold November night. We had just made love and we were naked, in the dark, in front of the fire's warmth and light. We talked openly about "straight" sex-- all aspects of it-- our likes and dislikes, tickles and tortures, and he asked me if I had any fantasies. I wanted to tell him, but I was afraid. After all, you can never "un-tell" someone something-- once it's out, it's out! As I'm sure I shared with you before, it was (and always has been) my desire to get a spanking because I earned it. not because I requested it. I was almost positive that if I could tell anyone, it would be this guy...I decided to "go for it"! After several hours (no kidding!) of talking around it an our conversation a kind of verbal masturbation, he convinced me to write it down on a piece of paper and let him read it, if that would be easier for me. I wrote the following five words: "I fantasize about being spanked." Simple, right? Can't make it any clearer than that!! I decided it was not the time to go into a lot of detail although the detail is very important to me-- i figured, depending on his reaction, there'd be plenty of time to unfold the embroidered and finely woven fabric of my fantasies. ... I hesitantly stretched the folded paper in shaking fingers to him and listened to my pulse pounding in my ears, a hot flush creeping up my neck into my scalp, making it tingles, as he held my eyes in an intent gaze and unwrapped to read my secret of 26 years. He read it...and what can I say? His face lit up like a Christmas tree!!

Since then he has been the daddy, master, lover, disciplinarian, teacher, and brat-spanker that I've always needed, loved, feared, hoped for! He revels in my games, and never fails to give the pleasure/pain I need. I am very, very lucky.

I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression about "negative experiences with boyfriends in the past". All i really meant to imply is that it was sometimes difficult to get them to do what I wanted. Until my husband came along, I was sure it was something I should keep to myself. I was a little uncomfortable with the passion for spanking-- thinking I was a freak of sorts. I'm sure most spanking enthusiasts have, or have had, serious doubts about their "normalcy". Until I had reached a point in my maturity that was better informed, a little more "worldly", a little more "street" than before, I was literally afraid of my own sexuality and sensuality. I dated several handsome, masculine, personable men-- they were all creative in their own ways, but only a few had that special inclination to be playfully dominant. I'm not turned on by obnoxious, loud-mouthed bullies. I find no pleasure in the thought of being abused. What I'm talking about takes creativity, sensitivity, masculinity (in the true sense of the word), and flexibility with a sense of humor. There aren't many like that running around out there... and when you do find those that fill that criteria, having them also be into spanking would be a million to one shot! Am I right? The odds have gotta be against you! Anyway, most of them were great in their own ways, but I used to seethe with frustration when I'd spend hours being naughty, bratty, contrite, sarcastic, argumentative (not necessarily all at once!), and never get what I wanted. They usually tried to cajole me out of my temper, or get pissed off themselves-- but not the right kind of pissed off! (if you know what I mean) If and when any mention of spanking was ever made, I would not reveal my secret, but did watch them for some reaction. Most seemed to think it was "silly", or acted as if it was just a "bit too weird" for them. SCHMUCKS! I often think with a smile that they'll never know what they missed!!

QUESTION: Would you tell me the difference between your "naughty little girl" and your "master/slave" scenarios?

This is getting lengthy and it's late, so suffice it to say regarding "naughty little girl" scenario-- picture: stern looks, no-nonsense demeanor, unwavering conviction, gentle but firm scolding, classic over-the-knee- position, bottom bared, firm rhythmic spanks....squeals, pouting, kicking, whimpers, blushing defiance. For any and all reasons from being sassy to spending $ foolishly.

"master/slave" scenario is more sexual-- more inventive positions, more passionate dialogue-- more outrageous, overt, hot.

To be honest, I've gotta wrap this up now. I'll get around to answering your last question maybe sometime later-- OK?

In a letter to this respondent, I wrote the following:

You may be interested to know that your account of how you told your husband about your sexual interests is not atypical. Many women report discussing their interests during "pillow talk", or subtly leaving spanking magazine articles, etc,, around the house. Other women report that they were introduced to SM/B&D by their lovers. Most men who have partners report bringing the subject up in conversation, or introducing mild "kinky" sex to lovemaking, and seeing how their partner reacts. Those men who do not have partners are usually the ones who are too afraid to bring the subject up, and for the most part live fantasy sex lives.

You mention that you feel that you beat the odds of a million to one, but the odds were probably closer to 15 or 20 to one. However, just meeting someone with similar sexual interests does not guarantee that a long lasting relationship will result, (nor even a quickie). If I were to give advice to someone, I would suggest your method (even if you didn't see it as a "method"). Find someone you like, begin a relationship, and then take a deep breath and take a chance.

You also mention that you fantasize about being spanked in front of others, but are reluctant to actually try. Again, not atypical. (I hope you don't mind my saying that in some respects you are not atypical-- some people would take this as an insult. I do not mean to diminish you or your interests in any way-- just to let you know that you are not alone in your interests.)]

July 24, 1985

Thanks for your recent letter. Funny you should comment about my minding you saying that my experiences and interests are not atypical....there was a time that I would have paid money-- good money-- for some confirmation that there were others "out there" like me....but I have to admit, I'm so comfortable with my preferences and passions now, and feel kind of special because of them, that I have to admit I did feel a twinge of annoyance at being told I'm "typical". No offense taken, though...just thought you'd like to know.

When I said in my last letter that I must have beat the odds of "a million to one"...well, I was exaggerating (I have a tendency to choose some words for "effect" rather than just telling it like it is...). On to some of the other questions......

QUESTION: Were there things about the unusual which turned you off when you first heard about them, but which now turn you on? If so, What?

You asked in Q.#1 if there were things about the "unusual" which turned me off when I first heard about them, but which now turn me on. Definitely yes. The first time I heard about anal sex, I was astonished (keep in mind I heard about it when I was maybe 15). Suffice it to say that I now enjoy it on a semi-regular basis. Restraints turned me off-- for one thing, I think they're quite ugly, and the idea of being "totally out of control of the situation" was just a bit too scary for me. My love and trust for my husband changed that. Now being tied or restrained in certain situations is very much a turn-on. Implements, such as paddles, whips, straps, brushes, etc. were also a bit intimidating to me. I had always preferred to the idea of a hand spanking and still do- you can't beat the feel of flesh to flesh- but we've experimented with more toys than before and enjoyed them for something different once in a while. British school cane was given to my husband as a sort of joke/gift by an acquaintance that share our interests. We've tried it, and although it is impersonal and stings like the dickens, I've become quite fond of it as a "change of pace".

QUESTION: What were your first unusual thoughts at age 5?

As far as the unusual thoughts at age 5 are concerned, I don't have a clear recollection of my actual thoughts, but I do remember I was always wondering about spankings. I'd never gotten one and all my little friends seemed to get them frequently. I wondered what I was missing, and I used to encourage them to tell me about them, and later on, on at least one occasion, I coerced them into acting one out. I think all I really wanted was to see what I was missing, but there's a shade of recollection that it excited me, but felt at the same time that I shouldn't tell anyone that it did-- something wrong with that, I thought. And I never did tell anyone until long after I'd become an adult.

QUESTION: Have you ever had dominant fantasies? If so, what?

Yes, I've had dominant fantasies, but until recently, they have all been me spanking a girl. I have no desire to dominate anyone by nature-- I am truly one that leans toward submissive, but the sight of a female bottom bouncing and wiggling and turning red under a flattened palm is a definite turn on. I have wanted to experience and see this in reality. I never have.... Now recently, for some strange reason (well, not really so strange), I've had my first glimmerings of a fantasy interest in spanking good looking men. They have been few and far between, and have really only involved one fantasy man-- Rob Lowe. Something about that mischievous twinkle in his eye, and the very appealing combination of "street smart/boy next door" that does it for me. No punishment intended-- I see it as a definite turn on for both of us. It's more than his looks or body-- it's "attitude" as well. The fantasies are simple- bedroom setting, he's over my knee, kind of laughing and pretending he objects, but he's enjoying it as I struggle to hold him in place and spank his bare bottom with all my strength!

QUESTION: Please give a detailed account of a public (in front of others) spanking fantasy. Would it involve having others "shocked" by seeing you punished, or would they get turned on, or? Would you be made to stand in a corner first, or beg for your punishment, or would you be abruptly pulled over your husband's knees? Do you ever fantasize about being spanked by others-- humiliated by being turned over to someone else for punishment by your husband?

Before I go on to answer a question from your first letter, I'd just like to address the question about a public spanking-- whether I ever fantasize about being spanked by others-- humiliated by being turned over to someone else for punishment by my husband. ALL THE TIME!! As a matter of fact, there is someone very much part of my life that I've never met. We have had an ongoing correspondence for almost two years now. He is known by the reputation as "The Master Spanker", and he intends to travel here in the spring of '86. When we meet, he has promised to give me the spanking of my life-- one that I will never forget. My husband knows of and approves of my correspondence with this man. We both like him personally, and my husband is actually looking forward to me receiving a lesson from "The Master". He looks upon it as "fantasy come true" for me-- and experience of a lifetime, and he revels in the expectation of handing me over for my lesson. I, on the other hand, sometimes wonder how the hell I got myself into this!! I absolutely love the fantasy that this ongoing relationship has created, but when I actually think of a stranger walking into my house, baring my bottom, and turning me over his knee to spank me mercilessly, I'm convinced I must have been crazy to encourage this. At the same time, I grin from ear to ear with the thought, and it always excites me-- makes me very, very wet! SO....that particular scenario is very much a part of my life-- the scary part is that come Spring-- it'll be very very real!!

QUESTION: Please complete the following fantasies in as much detail as possible. (A) You are playing strip poker with three other people, with the losers becoming the sex slaves of the winners. Everyone is down to one article of clothing, What happens. (B) The slave is standing, and the master is seated on a couch. What is being said? (C) You are at a slave auction. Are you buying or are you being sold. Who buys you or who do you buy?

OK.now, for the one about strip poker (I really played that once-- with two guys who were good fiends, when I was about 15-- I "lost" but I won too! No one became anyones slave, but we all had a good time!) On to the fantasy--------I assume that the four people are two guys and two girls. The other girl loses her last article of clothing first, and then in the next hand, I lose mine. The guys are ready to assume their roles as "master" and immediately order us into the bedroom. We are each spanked by both masters, and then we are made to spank each other while they watch, giving orders when we are too lenient to "Spank harder!" After both our bottoms are quite red and sore, we are ordered to stand and bend over in front of them so that they may inspect our bottoms. We are simultaneously entered from behind and fucked (hope you don't mind explicit wording) while we lie side by side over the end of the bed. We are both incredibly turned on and begin to touch one another and then kiss while the masters pump away and watch us caress. After a long passionate fuck, the guys come, and while they rest, we are ordered to make love to one another in the classic "69" position. They don't allow us to come because they want us to stay at the peak of arousal. When they are once again aroused (quickly because of the show), they switch partners and the fun begins again.

(B) The slave is standing, and the master is seated on the couch.... what is being said?

He tells her to stand before him and remove her clothing-- slowly. While she is doing so, he admires her body and tells her that she is a lovely possession. He informs her that he belongs to him to do with as he pleases, and she must learn to accept her fate and do his bidding without question. He tells her he can be a kind master, or a merciless one-- it's up to her. She is naked, and he asks her to turn slowly in front of him, while he strokes and pats, and squeezes her body. He tells her the he must reinforce the complexion of their relationship by giving her a hard spanking- just so she understands who is the master and who is the slave. He adds that any spanking that is earned will be much harder, and more painful and humiliating. He asks her if she understands and if she is ready, and she nods her reply. He takes her over his knee and spanks her until the tears roll down her flushed cheeks and she's biting her lip to keep from crying out.

(By the way, did I tell you before that I never cry?)

(C) At the slave auction-- let me see....well, if I'm being bought, then I'm being bought by the richest, most handsome man in the crowd. You see him over there? He's the one with the big hands and the wicked grin on his face.

If I'm doing the buying (and I'm pretty comfortable with it either way), I'd like to think that I brought all my mad money with me, and I buy twins-- about age 18-- one boy and one girl. I would be a loving "mistress", spanking them to bright pink, but never causing injuries-- I would keep them naked and bathed and well fed-- content to make me a very happy mistress indeed.

Hope these helped. More are welcome. By the way, my name is Terri. Bye for now.

Until this point, I didn't know her name. I had been writing to her at her Post Office Box number, and referring to her as "T". In my next letter to Terri, I wrote the following: Since you are both bright and articulate, I would like to ask you something I haven't explored to any extent in the past. If you could give me some thoughts on the subject of control, and let me know your feelings of it's role in "unusual" relationships, it would be helpful. I'm trying to get a handle on this aspect of the scene. Obviously, someone in the dominant position has control, and many submissives have also stated that they enjoy knowing that someone else was in control. In what way is knowing someone else is in control a turn-on? And is the dominant really in control? He or she must be careful not to freak out the submissive, else take the chance of losing a sexual partner, causing marital problems, etc. Please share your thoughts on this subject with me.

I am also wondering if you would write a fantasy of what will actually happen when the Master Spanker does arrive. I would be very interested in a before (fantasy) and after (report), if possible. If you would care to do this, please keep in mind the before fantasy should be based on probability-- you have been in communication with the Master Spanker and you probably have a good idea of what his interests are and what you should expect-- what do you expect to happen when he arrives?]

August 18, 1985

I've heard from The Master Spanker again, and since you ask, I've had many fantasies of what our encounter will be like since the first letter I received from him. In fact, every time I fantasize about it, it's a little different. There's so much about him I don't know and have no way of knowing until we actually meet, that I never "think it through" the same way twice! From what he's told me to date, he intends to come to my home, visit, relax, have a few drinks, then at the appropriate time, take me over his knee, bare my bottom, and spank me severely. Now, from every indication he's given me, I'll be scolded for countless wise-cracks, demonstrations of willful and manipulative behavior, and "temper tantrums" that I've thrown (in a manner of speaking) in all our previous correspondence. He's indicated in the past that it will be more than one spanking. There will be at least one session in the corner for me while he and my husband enjoy a quite chat over another drink. It would seem from what he's said that there'll be at least one more trip across his knee after some time in the corner, and he guarantees that I'll shed tears, something I've never done. When I shared that about me with him, he seemed to take it as a challenge. (Doesn't surprise me!) I will be glad to give you an after report. Sometime before it happens, I've decided to sit and write at least one version of the encounter as I've fantasize about it. I think it's important for me (even just as a writer) to be able to see how clear my "vision" is and how well I commit the imagery to paper when I'll be able to later write how it really was. But the way, he has promised me a letter or [audio] tape before he arrives that will give me a detailed account of what to expect, what to wear, etc. I'm like a kid waiting for Christmas on that one!!

I want you to know that before I answered your questions about "control", I encouraged my husband to restrain me-- tie both wrists to the brass headboard, and gag me-- just so I could have the experience fresh in my mind to comment on it.

For me, it's excitement. Not knowing what my husband will think of, what he will subject me to, what wicked things he'll do to me that I can't stop or alter in any way. BUT trusting him to never take it anywhere that I won't want to go. My husband is so open and uninhibited, reveling in the act of sex like no other man I've ever known. He is such a sensual person and one that has depth and sensitivity-- he knows what's hot and what's not-- at least for us. When I can abandon myself to his ability and creativity, and anticipate some new and exciting twist that he'll come up with, and knowing that I can't protest or move... It's really no different, in concept, than the master/slave scenarios. If you are the slave you are "bound" to do what the master bids. Whether willingly or not, you are given to submit to his whim. The difference is the actual physical restraints-- and there is freedom in knowing you are not responsible for all the deliciously naughty things that are about to happen to you.

Now I, for one, would never even consider playing such games with anyone that I didn't know as well as I know my husband. I feel no sense of danger-- only excitement and anticipation. Some people may get off on the danger aspect of giving up control to a sexual partner, and therefore allow themselves to practice B&D with relative strangers. You may be asking yourself this moment about what I could be letting myself into with this Master Spanker guy that's coming to my home to beat my bear bottom-- a "relative stranger". I know this guy well enough, I think, after all our correspondence, to know that he isn't into whips, chains, drawing blood, or real violence. I have no sense of danger when I think of what could happen. I know that I'll probably receive one of the most, if not the most, sound and no-nonsense spankings of my life-- the kind old Dad might have given me if he'd caught me doing some of the things I've gotten away with. But I'll still be alive when he leaves-- sore, humiliated, maybe-- but alive. By the way, if I told you some of the stuff I've laid on him in the last several months, you'd agree I deserved a good one!

I will tell you before I close, that I do correspond with one other gentleman. I answered his ad for a correspondent with an interest in spanking several months ago. He is an older guy-- old enough to be my Dad, and he seems very nice. I have shared several articles of interest and magazines with him. Every time he returns a magazine, he presses several pairs of lovely sexy panties for me between the pages. I've also received two very pretty slips. He has a "side interest" in beautiful lingerie, and sends them to me because he enjoys shopping for them. We have not yet met, although geo- graphically it is quite possible. At this point we have only corresponded, and at least at this stage, I prefer it that way. I won't say we'll never meet, but for now it's just a "pen pal" relationship. Fun! I've always loved getting mail, and now I get some of the most interesting mail I could have imagined!!!

9/15/85

Guess what?! I got a letter from Master Spanker that was the most definitive input on the actual upcoming event to date. And i must say, it was a real piece of work! I've been instructed to wear: sheer beige hip-huggers, garter belt, seamed hose, 3" heeled plain pumps, and a dress that he has to "tug to bare" my ass, not something he can just flip out of the way. He actually drew me a picture of curvy naked buns and marked the spot with and "X" where the first swat will land (lower right cheek just above the crease where cheek meets thigh), and told me that handmark is still going to be imprinted on my ass when I vote in the next election!!

You see, I gave him a little "lip" in a recent letter that told him the "deal was off", and that I had changed my mind. His 4 page letter told me there was NO WAY I was going to get out to this spanking, except to go into hiding. He gave me instructions as to what kind of liquid refreshments he enjoys, and reminded me in graphic terms how nervous I'll be, knowing, as I fix his drink, that soon I'll have a very private part of my body bared to a strange man's view-- not just bared, but spanked! "Spanked so hard it will clench and jump and squirm as it gets all red and sore." He tells me that first I'll protest nervously: "Hey, c'mon, waddya think you're doing?" Then I'll give little squeals and yelps: "Ow! OUCH! giggle- giggle" Then my "ouches" will become more serious: "OWW! HEY, that HURTS! OWWWW!!" Then angry..."That's enough! Stop right now!. There will be continued shock and defiance, then a violent physical attempt to get free. Then angry pleas: "OK! OK! You win- I give up!!" Then "almost" real pleas: "I'll be a good little girl, I promise!". And then genuine pleas- "These will be a combination of crying and words I want to hear."

He tells me that there's pleasure for him in the thought of finally getting a whack at my ass, and that it amuses him. He wouldn't tell me how much time will elapse between his arrival and the actual spanking, but did share that in that time, he will reiterate just exactly why I'm getting spanked, scold me, tease me, but also play it very "straight and stern". He told me he would require other acts of penance from me, but was not specific at this time-- more to come on that. I also asked him if there was any chance at all that I'd enjoy this. I mean, every spanking I've ever gotten has turned me on-- hurt, but definitely turned me on. Lately he's made me believe that his will be a kind of revelation, so I asked him if I was going to hate him when he finally let me up. He tells me I won't hate him, but I'll be in a state of shock, and I'll have that "I've just been spanked!" look of astonishment on my face. I told him that I can't imagine-- even if I'm suffering-- ever promising to be a "good little girl" to get him to stop! Ridiculous! His reply was simply, "We'll see, won't we?"

Which brings me to another point I thought you might like to know. When I'm over a firm, steady, masculine knee, I've never pictured myself a "little girl". Rather, I am a full-grown woman, sacrificing poise, pride and dignity for some well deserved comeuppance. Maybe that's because my Dad never did spank me as a child, and so I can't relate to being a child and having it done. I have reverted to calling my spanker "Daddy", but never pictured myself as anything but a full grown woman. Typical? You would know better than I.

October 28,1985

You probably don't remember, but I did tell you a while back that my husband is almost as enthusiastic about Master Spanker's visit as I am. In fact, as time draws nearer to Spring, I'd have to say he is more so that I am!! I've begun to have "second thoughts" (as if it'll do me any good!), but he's as excited as ever. Hubby looks on this as an opportunity for me to live out a life-long fantasy- having a stranger spank me- and he's all for that. It certainly helps that Master Spanker and he seem to be on the same wavelength, and as it turns out, they are both ex-Marines that just happened to be in Paris Island at the same time. They don't know each other, but they're about the same age, and have very similar backgrounds. They've talked on the phone occasionally. In fact, last week, Master Spanker called to chat and told me that he had had a terrible day. I was sympathetic until he asked to speak to hubby. He told him that he'd feel a lot better if he knew I'd gotten a good spanking that night, so he asked hubby to be sure to give me one, and of course, he did! They took much delight in my indignant protests, especially Master Spanker, and he seemed to feel much better by the time we got off the phone. He hasn't been more specific about the "acts of penance" except in so far as telling me what I must wear, but I've been told that information is forthcoming. I have in fact, been fantasizing about them...as far as what I hope to be required to do, and what I fear I'll be required to do.....well, I gave it a great deal of thought. It's not as easy a question as I though it would be to answer. For instance, the things I stated to fantasize about that seemed to turn me on, could also be required of me in such a way as to make me hate it, and in turn, things that involve feelings of fear or trepidation could possibly be turn- ons if they were required of me in a way that turned me on. Confused? Frankly, so am I. I guess the conclusion I came to was, as long as Master Spanker is passionate, and maintains balance in the encounter, almost anything can happen and I'll allow enjoy it. [The word allow was crossed out in ink and enjoy handwritten above it.] If, on the other hand, he is cold, indifferent, mean, and....bored....I'll wind up hating it and him! I think the mood he sets will be the major factor in what would or would not be exciting to me. I want him to be stern, but balance it with humor. I want him to be demanding, but balance it with reason. I will be more than receptive to sex with him afterwards if he has not been determined to deliver pain at the expense of pleasure. Get my drift? The one and only thing I seem to truly fear, or maybe dread is a better word, is that the encounter will be scheduled to happen at a time that is not conductive with my menstrual cycle. THAT would be a major disappointment to me. I'd want to make him understand that I really couldn't get into it, but I don't think it would stop him. There are other things that I'd refuse to do, even if he "beat me to death"....I'd never bark like a dog, duckwalk, or squawk like a chicken!!!!! (Little humor there- I don't think he'd do any of those things...)

December 4, 1985

Didn't surprise me a bit when you picked up on the statement I made and then altered in my last letter, "...almost anything can happen and I'll allow enjoy it." When I re-read the letter, the original statement sounded immediately "wrong" to me. I'm sure it has something to do with the constant reminder from Master Spanker that he will be in control of the events, and what I will or will not allow will have nothing to do with what happens to me. So here we go again on the issue of "control"....

First of all, I think it's important to say that I've always thought of myself as "submissive" because I would taunt and torment to instigate a spanking, and then when I finally received it, I loved every minute of it. I would become sexually aroused beyond the norm and especially thrilled at being "handled" in a very dominating fashion. BUT, it occurs to me that there is almost nothing that is submissive about my attitude, my ambitions, my opinionatedness(?), my life! I am a leader, not a follower; I am a doer, not a watcher; and challenge everything (well, a lot of things!). That is not what I would call a "classic" submissive. Would you?

But you've made what I consider to be the "key" observation, when you used the word "game" [in reference to the spanking activity between Terri and her husband]. When people "play" at the dominant/submissive "game", the submissive is in control by virtue of the fact that he or she is allowed to set any limits or restrictions on the activities. Only the people who Live it, instead of play at it, are the ones that have a relationship/session where the dominant is in control. There are plenty of people out there, innocent submissive people, that are victimized daily by truly dominant personalities. Battered wives and husbands are truly partners in a dominant/submissive relationship where the roles are what they say.

Now in the case of Master Spanker and myself.....I would have to say that I envision it as somewhat of a "controlled" experience in the sense that hubby would step in. That give me some assurance, and that assurance gives me a smidgen of "control". BUT, anything Master Spanker sees fit to do to me in a session that falls under the broad heading of "reasonable", he will do to me whether I want him to or not. I was told early on that there will be NO code words, and no list of no-no's. I had earned myself a genuine session over his knee- this was not have for our mutual pleasure- this was for real! He would decide what I would wear, how hard, how long, in what position(s), and with what implements. And frankly, Norman, I believe him! This is probably the one experience in my life that I will in fact have little or no control over. And yes, it's a very scary feeling, but exciting as well....no doubt about that!

ANTICIPATION? Just ask me anything you want to know!! It's been two yeas since my first letter to Master Spanker, and for the last 18 months I've known that someday he would come here for the express purpose of subjecting me to a very humiliating spanking. EIGHTEEN MONTHS!! Anticipation has many faces...it's exhilarating, it's annoying, depressing, maddening, frustrating, wonderful...and it definitely has a great deal of effect on me day to day because it's never out of my mind for very long. I certainly agree that too much anticipation can lead to eventual disappointment, and we've run the risk by waiting this long of having it be anti- climatic. Spring is his E.T.A., but it's been postponed before so we'll just have to wait and see.

My instructions on what to wear have been changed recently, by the way. I recently shared with Master Spanker that although I've had my spanking fantasies since early childhood, until I started experimenting with sex in my mid to late teens, I never really had anything good to base my desire for punishment on. I mean I was so good as a kid, [not] just because it's my nature to please, but because of my upbringing, I started to experience guilt when I'd explore my sexual tendencies. I knew in the back of my mind that I was what would probably be considered "too young" to be doing what I was doing, and although my conscious wasn't strong enough to make me stop doing all those wonderfully naughty things, it was certainly giving me plenty of "ammunition" for my fantasies. I told him that the trappings of a 17 year old were a particular turn-on to me.

Soooo, now I'm supposed to wear a plaid pleated skirt, penny loafers, socks, long-sleeved white blouse and sweater vest. Very collegiate, don't you think? Although he's only about 16 years older than I, this change in wardrobe will contribute to my tendencies to beg "daddy" not to spank so hard! And frankly, I think he likes that role best of all- daddy.

(You notice that when I shared what turned me on, he changed the outfit to one that would please me. Now that makes me feel like I have a little "control". Even though it'll please me, and we both know that, he told me what to wear.)

Best regards,

12/27/85

Thanks so much for your recent letter; I really enjoy them. You made some interesting comments in your letter, and I laughed out loud when I realized you were right about the plaid skirt and white blouse being more "Catholic high school" than "collegiate". It suddenly dawned on me that when I told Master Spanker about the trappings of a 17 year old, I wasn't very specific as to what 17 year olds were wearing when I was 17. When he changed the wardrobe requirements, he perfectly described what a 17 year old would have worn when he was 17! And he's 17 years my senior! I've often accused him of "being stuck in a time warp" when it comes to his particular preferences in the wardrobe and "accouterment" portions of the fantasy!! Well, it's ok, after all, blue jeans and "granny dresses" are not among the sexiest things to get spanked in!! And to be honest, what we wear is really of little or no importance to me...it's not the clothes as much as the "chemistry"!!

I also had to grin when I read your suggestion to possibly be in the middle of a high school algebra assignment when he arrives!! I don't feel as if you're forcing yourself into my fantasy at all-- in fact it pleased me to know that you fantasized about it at all. By all means, more, please...

I have no way of knowing whether the Master Spanker is "elaborate" with the fantasy scenario set up of play acting. I'm not too comfortable with "the game"-- I'd much rather we be ourselves...talk, get to know each other, and let our basic personality differences clash as only a Leo and Taurean would, to set the stage for the spanking. He swears he's kept a "log" of all my indiscretions over the last 2 years and that we'll talk about them- I will be reminded of them, and he'll dole out the punishments for them! Our correspondence over the last two years had not been the weaving and embroidering of an elaborate fantasy relationship between us that is mutually enjoyable such as teacher/student, master/slave, daddy/bad little girl (although I have referred to him on occasion as "daddy"). Rather we have stood on equal ground, conversing and corresponding as adults discussing a wide range of personal interests such as hobbies, politics, backgrounds, careers, etc. It's just that he is truly a dominant personality, and although I love to have my bottom spanked, I am not a true submissive. I am intelligent, opinionated, outspoken, and although very lovable, I do love to tease and torment. When we speak on the phone, I can feel the "sparks" over the wires! There is some definite chemistry between us, and I think it'll be more than enough to set the stage for our encounter.

When he has scolded me in the past, he's often used the word "tame". That conjures up images of a more sexual encounter than if the spanking was to "punish". Just a little different flavor...

By the way, I think that after all this time I would, in fact, feel comfortable to meet Master Spanker alone. In some ways, I might even prefer it. It will be a humiliating experience as it is...having an audience (even if it is hubby) will undoubtedly make it worse or harder on me in some ways. But overall, I'd rather he be here; not because I feel safer about it, but because I know how much he'll enjoy it (Hubby, that is.)

To answer your question about "needing" a reason for punishment, I've given that some thought. I've been masturbating since puberty, and I've often thought how lucky I am to have as vivid an imagination as I have-- knowing no limits to the wonderful fantasies I've enjoyed. But some of the most intense and personally satisfying fantasies I've enjoyed have been those that have a basis in fact. There have been times in my life when I've gotten away with things, that had I been caught, would surely have justified someone (parent, teacher, friend) giving me a good hard spanking on the bare butt. A couple come to mind where I almost got caught, and those times make the absolutely best beginnings for a great spanking fantasy.

Consider the alternatives to not deserving the spanking but getting one anyway....

1) you're being spanked because you like it (and someone is providing it for you, therefore you're "in control")

or

2) you're being spanked because they (he or she) likes it and doesn't care what you like.

When I am so humiliated at having my bottom bared and draped over someone's knee to be subjected to a constant, hard and painful slapping of my bare cheeks, I do enjoy or feel better knowing or believing that by some very wide standards, at least I deserved it!!

I think it's tied in with EGO. The bigger the ego, the more need there is for a reason or justification. My ego will not allow me to stand for any mistreatment-- my pride won't allow me to be belittled. People with less ego or pride might allow themselves to be humiliated and spanked for no other reason than someone wants to. I prefer to have earned it, and even then I'm a fighter. You'd never know I was a willing victim. Makes it tougher for the spanker, but this "spankee" thinks it's a hell of a lot more fun!!

Take care. Write soon.

#002-35, white female, 23, college grad, never married, significant other knows of her interests, the oldest child, no religious training, no religious beliefs, politically liberal, sometimes depressed for over a week, often feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, not sure if she has friends who have SM interests, considers hers a natural interest from childhood, first recognized her interests at about age 10.5, tries to meet by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, views her interests as a form of foreplay, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, submissive, 1/100, humiliation oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was sexually abused, but does believe that she was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests Hand- written.

I can't tell you how pleased I was to see your questionnaire in "Letters". As an undergraduate in psychology, as well as a practicing submissive, I was well aware of the appalling lack of empirical information on sadomasochistic tendencies. I don't know how many textbooks I read or lectures I heard which depicted SM practitioners as sick and pathetic perverts fit only to be hospitalized immediately before they become mass murders or rapists or suicides.

My current favorite fantasy involves a girls' boarding school for orphans. I am one of the boarders. Everyday I report to my dominant headmaster for an hour before class and an hour after class for discipline, which usually consists of a spanking with a paddle or strap and anal and oral sex. Conventional intercourse is not allowed because it spoils my "virginity". I wear long wool dresses with no under clothes so I can be demure for school, but available for "use" by the headmaster. None of my schoolmates know of this arrangement, but the headmaster occasionally finds ways to punish me in front of other students to humiliate me.

My earliest fantasies and a lot of my current ones all have several elements in common. I am a slave to a powerful man in a "closed" environment (i.e., one I cannot escape from for one reason or another). For example: personal slave to a King who can catch me if I escape, slave to a Roman senator in a society that allows slavery and catches and prosecutes runaway salves, or slave to a powerful businessman who keeps me locked up. I am very obedient, but I do occasionally slip up and I do have to be reminded of my station, so he humiliates and punishes me from time to time. I am dependent on my master and scared of displeasing him, but I also feel a certain affection for him. He also feels a grudging "pride of ownership" in me.

There is frequently a hostile audience other members of the royal household, other slaves and slave owners, etc., who urge my master to punish me more.

QUESTION: Do you find the thought of unusual sex more or less exciting than actual unusual sex? (Or put another way, is fantasy more fun than reality?)

Given a choice, I would have to say that actual unusual sex is more exciting for me than fantasizing about it, although both have points in their favor. During actual sex, I enjoy sharing the experience with Tom and the element of surprise when he does something I don't expect. I enjoy the loss of control over what happens next. Although I can stop what Tom is doing with a "safe" code word, I can imagine that I'm totally under his control. Fantasies, on the other hand, allow me to think about harsher forms of punishment than I'd be willing to put up with in person.

I can come faster when masturbating with fantasy, but my orgasms are more intense during actual sex (probably because Tom teases me).

QUESTION: Do you prefer your unusual relationships to be loving and warm or cold and impersonal?

I prefer my unusual relationships to be loving and warm vers. cold and impersonal. Tom and I were undecided whether you were asking about the relationship between the partners involved, i.e., one night stands or affairs with acquaintances versus long term relationships or the style of discipline. So I'll answer this both ways.

I prefer having partners I already know and like well, men who I can love on a long-term basis. I have tried short term relationships with casual acquaintances and didn't much care for them, although they are better than nothing. I had one very bad experience with one friend of a friend who agreed readily to unusual sex and participated with some enthusiasm and the next day told all his friends about how weird I was. After that, I've been a lot more cautious about casual unusual sex. I have had two long-term relationships with lovers who have enjoyed being dominant.

I also prefer a warm loving style of discipline. I like being petted and rewarded as well as punished. Most of my fantasies involve masters and slaves who are somewhat fond of each other and who have more than just an owner-property relationship. Tom and I sometimes act out these fantasies, assuming the characters of the people in the fantasies.

QUESTION: Do you feel emotionally safe and secure when you are in an unusual relationship?

The answer to this one has to be yes and no. When we're actually involved in a B&D scene. I do feel very safe and secure. I feel as though I can settle down into a submissive frame of mind, relinquish most of the control to Tom, and enjoy myself. After doing a scene or after discussing a fantasy, however, I often get minor anxiety attacks and feel as though what I have just done or talked about is wrong. I find myself asking Tom to reassure me that he loves me and does not think my sexual preferences are weird.

In many ways, doing a submissive scene is like a high for me. I feel really good about myself, Tom and our relationship, almost ecstatic. Then, when it's over, it's like a let down and my normal feelings return all in a flood.

QUESTION:: How important is bondage to you. Please give an example of the type of bondage you practice (if any).

Bondage is like erotic clothing. It is not necessary for a good scene, but it is a nice added touch. With Tom I usually practice what we call restraint, i.e., his gripping my wrists or ankles and holding me down more than anything else. Although we do own a set of handcuffs and a set of soft ropes which Tom will use to tie me up to a headboard or footboard of a bed. We don't use prolonged bondage, such as tying me up for hours. With my previous lover/master, I was tied up with cords more often and for longer periods of time. I think I'm happier the way it is now because I like the idea that I will be obedient without being tied.

QUESTION: A couple decide to set up rules for their unusual relationship. What are the major rules and penalties?

1. The slave will do as the master commands quickly, efficiently and without complaint

2. The slave will always be sexually responsive to her master.

3. At meals, the slave will cook the type and amount of food requested and wait to be invited to eat either with the master, at the master's feet, or after the master has eaten.

4. The slave will wash and groom carefully daily, so as to be constantly fresh and clean.

5. In public, the slave will stay close to her master, refer to her master as "sir", keep her voice down, and not pester her master.

6. The master will punish the slave as he chooses for any infringement of these rules or just to show the slave her place.

QUESTION: Do you feel that the "straight" media-- books, movies, television, etc.-- accurately depict the unusual scene and the people involved in it? If not, why?

For the most part the "straight" media does not depict B&D or SM accurately. Too often, people in leather corsets, garters and high heels carrying whips are used for cheap laughs, or else unusual practitioners are depicted right along with rapists, wife and child beaters and mass murders. I think this is done because people without any unusual experiences don't understand us and that makes them nervous. People react with fear and ridicule to things they don't understand.

QUESTION:: What was your earliest unusual fantasy?

I used to daydream about some fantasy characters spanking each other and punishing each other. I always identified with the character(s) being punished. Later, I began to formally add more sexual punishments such as nipple clamps. These fantasies were very elaborate and involved 10- 20 characters at times with one or two of them being identity figures and the rest being neutral observers.

QUESTION: Tell me about your earliest unusual experience.

I met a man who became my first master/lover. I introduced him to unusual sex slowly by first having general sexual discussions and then narrowing down to discussing my fantasies. Although he eventually began to enjoy unusual sex and liked to spank me, tie me up and throw me around, I don't remember any specific first scene.

QUESTION: How did you tell Tom about your unusual interests?

As I said earlier, I used to be fairly open about discussing unusual sex with men I liked. But I got burned with one or two bad experiences and I have since been more careful. By the time I met Tom, I was very cautious. I sensed that Tom was open-mined and I trusted him to let me down gently if his answer was no. I started talking about sexual preferences in general and narrowing my discussion to the point where I told him that I wanted to be a slave. He nodded and asked me a few questions, and (as I found out later) bought a book with an account of one unusual relationship (9 1/2 Weeks). A few days later I was surprised to find him acting as my master. He found that he enjoyed it and we have continued.

I guess I have discussed the unusual scene with six or seven men. Two were definite no's, two were definite yeses who developed into long term lovers/masters, and two-three were short term affairs who I have not maintained contact with. I don't know if any of them continued to enjoy unusual sex or not.

QUESTIN:: Do you see any difference between Tom as a lover and Tom as a master?

Tom and I do slave scenarios on a regular basis both with and without sexual intercourse. But we don't live as master and slave all the time. He was my lover before he was my master and is still my lover more often than he's my master. As my lover, we're equals in every sense of the word. As my master, I am as submissive to his wishes as I can be. We have certain key phrases and actions which we use to signal a change from one relationship to the other.

QUESTION: Were there things about the unusual which turned you off when you first heard about them, but which you now find a turn-on?

I would say that the variety and intensity of my unusual interests have expanded, but not necessarily because I began to like things that previously turned me off. Rather, as I was exposed to new ideas I incorporated them into my fantasies and slave scenes. Also, as time passes, I find that the amount of dominance I want has increased. For example, I find that I want to be spanked longer, harder and more frequently.

QUESTION: You mention that you feel "dirty" because of your sexual interests. Tell me about this.

For the most part, with the exception of incest with children and pedophilia, I feel that, for other people, sexual deviancy is not perverted or dirty or any of those other emotionally loaded words. However, I have great difficulty applying this liberal attitude to myself. Although it is not impossible, it is difficult for me to enjoy straight sex without any unusual fantasies or nuances. As you are undoubtedly aware, most people, including the vast majority of psychological texts would not hesitate to label that as "perverted" or "deviant" or even pathological. My parents would be horrified if they knew. And I'm sure I would never have gotten my former job working with children if others had known. Sometimes all of this gets to me and I begin to wonder if maybe they are right and there is something quite wrong with me. Fortunately for me, Tom has no such opinions and does not hesitate to reassure me that I am no more perverted than the rest of the populace with all their sexual idiosyncrasies.

#003-010. [A few months later, Tom sent the following:] Male, white, 28, college grad, never married, significant other knows of his interests, the oldest child, strict religious training, no religious beliefs, no political beliefs, sometimes depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, not sure if he has friends who have SM interests, was introduced to SM by another person at the age of 25, has not tried to meet others, has not used the services of a professional, views his interests as a form of foreplay, does not believe SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, dominant, 1/100+, humiliation oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was sexually abused, but does believe that he was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

Judy introduced me to B&D when we started to sleep together. I didn't consider myself a dominant before that and still don't now to a great extent (although aspects of the control involved appeals to me). Primarily, I think of the B&D as a form of foreplay, as you say in your survey.

I have only one or two recurring dominant fantasies. One is ordering Judy to fuck in a public place, like a department store. The other is inviting another man to fuck her, the same time I do. I fantasize fucking Judy doggie-style, while she sucks the other man off.

QUESTION: Do you prefer your unusual relationships to be loving and warm or cold and impersonal.

I'm not particularly experienced sexually, and I've never been involved in a one-night stand of any sort, but I can't imagine suggesting dominance or spanking to a woman that I didn't know for some time and didn't already feel close to.

QUESTION: Do you feel emotionally safe and secure when you are in an unusual sexual relationship?

In general, I feel secure in my sexual relationship with Judy, although sometimes I worry about using my status as her master to settle an argument that has nothing to do with our sexual relationship. I've never done it, but the temptation is there, and it's important to me not to give into it.

QUESTION: If you had to choose, would you rather watch others having unusual sex, or have others watch you?

I would definitely rather have others watching us while we have unusual sex. In fact, it's a fairly common fantasy of ours to go into our master and slave roles in front of our unsuspecting friends. I think it would be a way to demonstrate [my] control over the slave. First, you would be announcing her status to a group of people, then you would be ordering her to perform sexually before that group. Actually, Judy and I have our own version of performing in public. Sometimes we go to malls or parties as master and slave. At parties, Judy has to keep my glass full and sit at my feet (if I'm in a chair) and similar duties. We treat each other normally otherwise, but Judy knows she will be disciplined if she isn't attentive enough. Needless to say, she hasn't been attentive enough yet.

QUESTION: How important is bondage to you? Please give an example of the type of bondage you practice (if any).

We use three different types of bondage regularly. I often pin Judy to the bed when we make love. Sometimes I manacle her wrists together with toy handcuffs, and sometimes I tie her to the bed with soft cords (although it's been some time since we've had a bed where we could do this). While we don't need elaborate bondage devices when we act as master and slave, I think that pinning Judy down is a good non-verbal way to establish dominance, and I'd miss it if I couldn't use it.

QUESTION: If you were to try to explain to a "straight" person what unusual sex is about and what you got out of it, what would you say?

What do I get out of unusual sex? Primarily the knowledge that I'm making Judy feel good. But there is also the feeling of control, the knowledge that I could ask for virtually anything and not be refused.

QUESTION: Explain your interests in controlling the slave/situation.

I've always found it difficult to tell a woman that I was attracted to her. I always think that she'll laugh at me. But you don't have to worry about rejection in a master-slave relationship. The slave will always respond the way you want her to. Being a master is also an excuse to be selfish once in a while, to take your pleasure first, before worrying about the slave's.

#004-119, white female, 38, college graduate, divorced, significant other knows of her interests, an only child, no religious training, no religious beliefs, politically liberal, rarely depressed for over a week, sometimes feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes hers are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 9, tries to meet through ads, at SM bars and by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of her interests in SM, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is bisexual, versatile, humiliation oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Computer printout.

1. I've a vision of a woman sitting at a small marble-topped table in an outdoor cafe in Switzerland. It's definitely the off- season because she's alone on the terrace with a desultory waiter reading a worn newspaper on the other side of the compound. The sun is a welcome intermediary between her skin and the chill. When it moves on, she'll have to put on her jacket.

There's a shadow across the table that startles her and the man has already sat down before she can voice protest over the invasion. She opens her mouth to speak as his hand comes to pin her wrist to the tabletop. No, he says softly, silence now.

She's aware of his bulk and almost tangible forcefield about him, now enveloping her. She tries, experimentally, to move her wrist, wondering why she doesn't call to the waiter, who's disappeared into the restaurant. He tightens his grip slowly until she gasps. She still has no sense of what he looks like, only a presence that pervades her will.

Recognizing the thought, she swings her other hand in a wide arc, aiming for his cheek. Casually, without effort, he intercepts, bending that arm to join its twin immobilized on the cold marble.

With a blur of movement, he slaps her very hard, palm and backhand, jarring her teeth and tearing her eyes. Then brings his hand to her nape, catching the hair solidly, sharply. He leans close and murmurs, his hand moving her head to and fro slightly, I am hear for you....

2. She is suspended, almost, by the posts and restraints that bind her to them. She hears the sound, the whish-ing, the snapping, the silence, of the crop and before the sound has transmitted itself to her nerve endings, it is in direct and powerful competition with the pain that scorches through her.

"This is not punishment, love, just esthetics-- you can't imagine how beautiful you look when you wear my marks." His voice, sometimes too loud, is almost inaudible now. She would strain to hear him, but the impulses were jumbling together and she could scarcely, at these times, distinguish between what she heard, what she felt, what she tasted. All the synapses got crossed when she was being "marked".

She knew this was in preparation for the weekly card game that was being held at his house tonight. He wanted to display his power over her to his friends. She never questioned his motives too consciously, for fear of having to, per force, examine hers as well.

She was to greet each guest as he arrived with a kiss. Not just a peck on the cheek, but a real one, with tongues and body-rubbing and teasing. All these strangers. And him. Then, to the liquor cabinet with each man's taste in her mouth, and his request in her mind. But constantly aware of his eyes on her, his needs, his desire that she be constantly accessible and responsive to him, over and above the calls of his guests. And later, as the game is generating just the right amount of tension and energy flowing between one player and the next, he will beckon her to lean over him. He takes the front of her shirt, so loosely modest, wrenches the fastenings apart. Her breasts bounce free, nipples already swollen, so sensitive, awaiting the familiar touch. It comes. She is suddenly beneath the table, being pulled this way and that, and seeing cocks, ready for her mouth and hands-- all demanding, all petulant that they be the first one to feel her moist warmth. But she knows the one she seeks. By this time, she knows very well. And reaches. And connects. And sighs in pleasure.

3. She hears the men come in, a few disconnected voices, becoming louder and more raucous as they gather. She is sitting in the chair he had placed her upon earlier, hands secured behind her back, in the fashion he most enjoys. Her skirt, so prim and demure when she stands, is in disarray around the top of her thighs, no hands free to tidy it.

She knows his voice by now, can pick it out from the others, just as she has learned his walk and the set of his shoulders as he's walking toward her in a crowded room. All these memory fragments coalesce, until she can only, in her mind's eye, see the head of his erect cock above her, framed by massive thighs, comfortingly solid and protectively threatening. Her jaw falls slack at the memory of her tongue, placed just so, at the underside of the head, softly breathing and scarcely moving at all, the way he's come to know she craves it. Just sitting in her mouth like a pulsating entity, rather divorced from the rest of him.

The door opens. He comes into the room, leaving the door slightly ajar, so she can now distinguish words and the unhurried chatter among the men gathered in the next room. She doesn't listen, just watches him as he comes toward her, familiar and strange, all at once and in ways she is just imagining. He reaches toward her hair, touches it gently and bends over. "Tonight, you are the stakes", he whispers. "You'll be blindfolded, so you won't know who it is. Ever." No, she shakes her head automatically. Just as automatic comes his hand, blurring, quick and strong against her cheek. Once. And again. The sound of the contact is obviously heard in the next room, because the conversation stops abruptly. He then takes her by her erect nipples, raises her awkwardly out of the chair and leans her against the front of him. He strokes her hair, lifts her face and soothes her cheek with the fingers of his right hand. "You'll be just fine-- I'll be here...". And turns her, wrists still strapped together, toward the lighted doorway.

4. She is standing over him, resting her hand on the nape of his neck, stroking his hair, pressing her pelvis against his shoulders. She can see his cards (best to fold on this hand, she thinks). She can also, from her vantage point, see the half- erection between his legs. Feeling shy and restrained about touching him there, in front of others, although he's been quite specific about this, time and again. He shifts slightly, and, in reading her so precisely (or is it really him all the time?), takes her hand and carries it to himself. She is leaning over him awkwardly now, and his hand has reached her left nipple, which becomes immediately inflamed, always wanting more. More intensity, more wetness, more touching, more sensation, more pain, more, more... Just as he has sensitized the rest of her body (she never realized the greed in her before-- almost matching his now) that aches for his touch, now firm, now brutal, now sweetly soothing. Especially noticeable when he's left her, for an errand, for his job. or just to stand apart and watch her in her need, while he withholds. For just the right number of minutes.

She is aware of the others watching, of the energy turning, of her withdrawal and focus totally upon him-- the protector, the tormentor. Him. He teases, he pulls, there are sudden jolts of agony through her, followed by the gentlest caress. She wants no involvement with the other men, just to be seen and wanted is enough. She wants to be handled brutally, and without compassion, by all who have come here. She wants both and neither, all jumbled inside her and centered in her lungs that cannot draw enough air to sustain her legs, which weaken and buckle. He catches her...

QUESTION: What was your earliest SM/B&D thoughts at age 9?

Primarily thoughts of immobilization, helplessness, non- accountability (it's difficult to think of those concepts in 9-year old terms).

QUESTION: If you were to try to explain to a "straight" person about the unusual, and what you got out of it, what would you say?

I explain rarely, but when I do share that part of my life, I speak of it in terms of stretching my personal envelope to include different modes of sexual and sensual behavior, and I get a chance, when engaged in this activity, to explore areas of dependence, trust and intimacy that are difficult for me any other way.

QUESTION: Were you spanked as a child, or have you ever witnessed another child being spanked?

Rarely spanked as a child (I vaguely remember my father's belt, but surely don't equate that with any sexual feelings-- it did NOT feel sexual to me. It just hurt), and don't recall witnessing another's punishment. Might have happened, just don't recall it.

QUESTION: Why do you think you have your particular sexual interests?

Just lucky, I guess... I'd like to answer in a more relevant tone, but nothing comes to mind right now. Refer to No. 1 for pertinent connections?

QUESTION: How close have you come to acting out the fantasy you sent? Have you served groups?

Haven't come close to acting out the fantasies I enclosed in my initial response. Not sure I wish to. Have never been involved in s/m group activity, except as the participant in some whipping games (whew, that didn't make much sense, did it?)

QUESTION: In answer to the question of how many times you have had SM oriented sex, you wrote "many". My computer could use some help in understanding "many". Could you give a "guesstimate"?

Many...lots. This is a tricky question, since much s/m activities doesn't culminate in sex per se, just an erotic action that is self-contained. If I interpret the question strictly (no pun intended), s/m oriented sex happened about 100-200 times? -- this is really impossible. I've tried to induce[introduce] my partners into s/m activity before I even knew what I was about.

Feel free to contact me again-- I might be able to help you in passing out your forms to some of my friends-- both dom. and sub.

#005-231, white male, 34, some college, divorced, significant other knows of his interests, an only child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically conservative, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 12, tries to meet through ads and by introducing others to SM, has used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, dominant, 2/12, pain oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was sexually abused but believes that he was emotionally abused as a child, has one main fantasy. Hand-written.

Subject: SM Research

First, I would like to commend your efforts. As you state in your survey form, this is basically an unstudied area, generally assigned to the "pervert category". I am pleased to see someone finally make a serious effort.

You ask about fantasies-- and their fulfillment. I suppose I should consider my self fortunate since I was able to fulfill my favorite fantasy.

I have always been a spanking devotee. I was spanked with hand, paddle, ruler, belt and when I was in my early teens, with a 1" X 4" building stake. I now do not enjoy being spanked but I do know what it feels like. I also know what the anticipation of the punishment feels like, I remember waiting for my father to come home and then being sent out in the woods behind the house to pick a switch out for him to use. I can remember the butterflys in my stomach waiting for my punishment.

I don't know at what age exactly I began to enjoy giving spankings, but I believe it was about when I entered puberty. Probably the sexual excitement was what brought out this interest. I remember at about 11 or 12 I began to look for reasons to spank my younger sister who was 3 yrs younger than me. I also looked for spanking other girls, although, due to the fact that I lived in the country, there were not many opportunities. Our German babysitter had a lovely blond daughter, about my age, with a nice round bottom that I would spank gently when we played house.

My sister was pretty cooperative about it until she began to enter puberty. When we were older (I 17, she 14) I offered her money for a spanking but she no longer wanted to participate. We never mention it anymore.

During my teens I would travel to San Francisco to visit my grand parents, by bus. I soon discovered that, due to my appearing to be older, I was able to go into adult book stores to purchase spanking publications. I bought what ever I could find. I also looked through the library for any thing on spanking in newspapers and magazines I found pictures to cut out and I was constantly of the lookout for advertisements or articles about the play "Kiss me Kate" a they were invariably accompanied by a picture of the leading lady being spanked over the knee of the leading man. Now that I look back, it is interesting to note that the media chose that particular "image" of the play to attract attention. Maybe they know something we know. I continued to buy magazines and other spanking material. Once I even made contact with an older woman in Los Angeles when I was in Long Beach aboard ship. She was interested but mistook my address "Fleet post office, San Francisco" to mean I was in San Francisco and so she stopped writing. I had totally no luck at all finding someone to spank.

After a few years in the navy I married. My wife knew of my fetish, but did not want to participate. After several years of marriage I finally got her to enjoy being spanked. I now have trained her the point that she can climax as I spank and masturbate her simultaneously. To enhance the setting I put on a spanking video, thus adding sexual stimulation.

This brings me to my fantasy, which is the point of this (forgive me) long-winded theme. Over the years I noticed that feminine domination was "played-up" more than its opposite. I presume that it was considered more evil to "punish women" than men. At any rate, looking at all these mistresses in garters, hose, and panties made me want to spank them. I even went so far (once) as to call a dominatrix and leave a message on her recorder telling her she should be spanked. This became my main fantasy.

I had gone to a few SM parlors but the "submissive" girls usually asked to not be spanked too hard, and they merely lay passively over my lap, not even moving. One day I went to a place in L.A. that I had previously frequented. The submissive girl I spoke to on the phone was busy when I arrived. I was offered another girl, who, I was told, was on her first day on the job and was waiting for her first customer. I think it was true because they wanted to have another girl with her. She was a six-foot-tall blond, very pretty.

We had a good session, with some spanking, bondage and mutual orgasm. We began to correspond and she soon opened up to me that she had a fantasy of being in a position of authority or power and being dominated, humiliated and punished. As she continued to work the SM parlor she found all the men wanted her to be dominant. This only whetted her appetite for being submissive. I went to her place several times and we acted out this perfectly compatible fantasy, she would act dominant, I would be submissive, then "turn the tables" on her, spanking her, humiliating her and finally bringing her to sexual climax. I have yet to find a better partner. Unfortunately we went our separate ways.

I would like to be part of your study. If you want more information, send me your requirement. I will be pleased to answer any questions you have.

#006-103, white female, 25, college graduate, never married, significant other knows of her interests, a youngest child, strict religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, never depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, first recognized her SM interests at age 4, tries to meet others through ads, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, submissive, 4/6, humiliation oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has one main fantasy. Computer printout.

Enclosed you will find a stamped and self-addressed envelope, as requested on the bottom of the enclosed questionnaire.

I am a 25 year old, single, white educated (M.B.A.) female (Jewish), who has been a Spanking enthusiast for a very long time. I don't know where or how I developed this interest, but I do know that I've had the interest ever since my earliest memory, age 3 or 4.

To answer Question #40. My favorite "SM" fantasy, really, my favorite "Spanking" fantasy, is that I am a naughty 12-year old little girl, adorable, loving, sweet, and smart, who sometimes steps out of line, and needs to be disciplined in the "old fashioned" way, by a loving and concerned parent. They almost always are with a male fantasy (I am completely heterosexual), however, on occasion I do fantasize having a loving (and very warm and beautiful) step-mother who "takes me in hand", when I fail to toe the line. The fantasies are not sexual fantasies, but need I say, they arouse the woman in me.

I know it must seem a little confusing to you, however, it is difficult to explain. Not everybody has to make love after a spanking, whether in fantasy or in reality. And since I am very selective, careful, and conservative, with my sexuality, I choose to fantasize more in my mind and to keep it non- sexual.

On the flip side of that, I also masturbate while reading erotic spanking literature. The literature is very potent for me when it involves domestic discipline with the spankees between the ages of 12-16. The disciplinarian in the literature that I prefer almost always has to be a male.

I have come very close to acting out my fantasies of being a naughty little 12-year old girl. In fact, I have done it on a few occasions. In the past year an a half, I've met some wonderful people into the Spanking scene, and after developing a safe and healthy friendship with a select few, we've engaged in role-playing scenarios.

I hope this letter and the information within it has helped you in your survey. You may contact me at the address listed below, however, please do keep my identity anonymous.

Again, my only fetish is Spanking. I perceive SM as a very different activity than Spanking. And in regard to Question 33 and 34 [About how much did you spend on SM equipment and erotic clothing], I haven't spent much on items, but rather have invested approximately $200.00 in Spanking literature, Spanking videos, etc.

Good luck with your research.

#007-919, white male, 70, post graduate, widowed, the oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically conservative, rarely depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM inter- ests, has friends with SM interests, discovered SM through pornography, first recognized at age 30, has not tried to meet others, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM sometimes helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, versatile, pain oriented, would disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child. Typed.

Sorry it has taken me so long to prepare my answers. They have taken a lot of thinking through. My total experience, with one exception, has been of reading and fantasy, and observation by attendance at two "shows" in New York City, Bell de Jour and The Castle, [SM clubs] both in 1984. Until seeing those shows I would not have considered participating. At the end of the formal show the audience was asked "Who would like to be spanked" and "Who would like to spank a girl?". After watching some of both, as it was winding down, I got up nerve enough to be spanked, and I loved it. It wasn't so much the spanks as the way she rubbed around my rear with her finger tips. I must have been ticklish because each time I shuddered like everything as she was rubbing. Under no circumstances would I consider verbal humiliation but I am beginning to think I would like to try some more. I was sorry I didn't get my nerve up enough to then have time to take the invitation to spank a girl. I now fantasize over the activities I saw and am trying to sort out the ones I would like to try.

So, with that for a background perhaps my answers may be interpreted in a meaningful way.

QUESTION: If you remember, please tell me about the pornography you read that first turned you on to the unusual.

About 1940 I read a book about two girls who had a book store and owed a lot of money. The arranged for one of the girls to run the store for a year and sold the services of the other girl to a rich man for a year to do with as he wished. His house was big and in a secluded wooded area. She served as a maid and housekeeper and was spanked for anything not satisfactory. I don't remember the details except for one incident whereby a two inch round pole was mounted horizontally high enough so when she straddled it her feet would not reach the floor. Her hands would be tied over her head just tight enough so her whole weight rested on the pole. She would be left this way for several hours. When he wanted to spank her on the pole he would move the hand tie forward so she would be at a 45 degree angle with full weight on her vulva area.

QUESTION: Were there things about the unusual that turned you off when you first heard about them, but that you now enjoy?

Yes. The thought of being tied up was repulsive. Now that I have seen a couple of stage presentations, after conditioning by much reading, I am used to the idea and am almost at the point of getting up enough nerve, when I go to New York again, to try it.

#008-130, white female, 45, college graduate, divorced, significant other knows of her interests, a youngest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically conservative, rarely depressed for over a week, sometimes feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, was introduced to SM by another person at the age of 42, tries to meet others through ads, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is usually heterosexual, submissive, humiliation oriented, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand- written.

My favorite fantasy would be to (preferably in the context of a very loving marriage) be "surprised" by a very sexually dominant husband with a situation involving himself & perhaps 2 or maybe 3 other men. (I wouldn't object to another woman but basically prefer men.) I'd be restrained & blindfolded. I like the idea of being totally vulnerable & unable to know who was there. They would have as their goal making me into a sex-hungry animal with no inhibitions. To achieve this, they would tease me a lot. They would arouse me with a lot of kissing & tonguing all over my face & body, occasionally entering every orifice with a finger or dildo or cock-- but just a tantalizing amount-- a few strokes-- just enough to whet the appetite but not fulfill the want/desire. Then they would make me service them orally & let me know that I was totally open to them & helpless. Perhaps if I didn't respond as they wished, or reacted a little slower than they thought appropriate, I'd be spanked or whipped to "improve" my performance.

#009-460, white male, 35, college graduate, married, significant other knows of his interests, an oldest child, strict religious training, no religious beliefs, politically liberal, rarely depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 12, tries to meet others at SM clubs, has used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, usually submissive, 2/100, pain oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was sexually abused but does believe that he was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

My ultimate fantasy is to be beat up by a group of bodybuilding women. Dressed in shorts and tank tops. They would take turns punching me in the stomach and face while I was being held by the other two.

I would then be made their slave and house keeper. Each night I would have the privilege of boxing against one of these muscular women who would knock me down time after time only to have me get up for more punishment. If she got arm weary before I had enough, then one of the other women would take over. To summarize I would need a good cut person.

#010-59, white female, 32, post graduate, married, significant other knows of her interests, an only child, no religious training, no religious beliefs, politically liberal, always depressed for over a week, often feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, first recognized her SM interests at age 17, tries to meet by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a lifestyle, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is homosexual, dominant, humiliation oriented, would approve if her children grew up to have SM interests, believes that she was both sexually and emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests.

I found your questionnaire somewhat difficult to answer. Perhaps the multiple choice format forces one's answers to seem vague and needing further explanation. I certainly felt restricted in my responses. So, I prefer to add some additional background.

I am a Lesbian who lives with my female lover. I am also legally married, and although my spouse still "lives" with us, my husband is such in name only. In the last seven of our ten years of "marriage", the only rush I've gotten out of having him around is really seeing his ego destruction and humiliation. It's quite a high for my lover and I to see the male take the abuse women have had to put up with for eons. So his submissiveness, subservience, restraint, punishment, and feminization does help satisfy our feminist psycho-sexual imperatives. The fear of being exposed and his still harboring "romantic" notions of his relationship towards me are what I think still keeps him here, but those are his problems and notions, not mine.

I put down 17 as the year I first realized my unusual sexual interests. At that time it was more of a general exhilaration I got when I discovered feminism and women's issues. It wasn't SM per se, but sometimes I'd even masturbate to the idea that women would gain in equality and prove themselves more capable than men in nearly all things important. A little later I occasionally read female domination pornography on the sly, but for all practical purposes I considered myself "straight". I even got into the whole "medieval romantic love" scene in college, long engagement, and then marriage. Being married was O.K., for about a year and a half, but then came...

"REBIRTH." I met an old friend. She seemed rather different than in the old days, and confided that she was always in the past a closet Lesbian but had been out in the open for the last few years. She turned me on to one of the most beautiful periods in my life over the next several months. Soon after, I had shared Sapphic joy with numerous female lovers, while at the same time getting really deep into feminism. I lost nearly all feelings for my husband except as a symbol of oppression. I really got off on fantasies of taking vengeance on males, and I guess it came out in minor abuse and quarrels with him, as we were constantly at each other's throats in argument. It was during this time that I truly started having SM fantasies. The only physical relations I had with him that I enjoyed were when I introduced female domination/transvestite scenarios with him. He acquiesced more and more to these demands, enjoyed them, but he grew filled with guilt, shame, depression, and self-doubt, which thrilled me still more. Discovering my Lesbianism at the end of three years of marriage, seemed to totally crush him. Throwing fits of rage, recrimination, trying to reassert himself, he tried refusing to take part in my SM "games" as he called them. When I said that divorce was a fine solution for me, he completely broke down, begging me to stay, admitting he'd do anything, saying he'd accept my Lesbianism and dominant needs completely. So, for the last 7 years (4 years for my lover and a couple of "select" female friends), hubby's served as a perfect example of the male groveling brought to heel as obedient, shamed, ego-less, feminized role model.

From the fact that the above describes my current lifestyle, your questionnaire concerning my favorite fantasy doesn't mean much to me. We've played out nearly every female dominant/male submissive fantasy on my husband (and on occasion to "boyfriends" of some women I've met). When a new idea crops up, we can live it.

However, I do have one sexual desire that could be termed "fantasy". It would [not?] happen in my lifetime, and unfortunately, probably never at all, but it excites the hell out of me. I'd love to see all of society based along the lines of female supremacy with all roles inverted and the difference in the social hierarchy many times magnified.

For me it's a dream come true to think of some future Amazon matriarchy where the norm is the beautiful, strong confident female who holds all reign over the male cowering and feminized bereft of all strength he once exhibited, be it physical, mental, political, sexual and spiritual. Yes, my fantasy is for sometime and somewhere where the sex role reversal would be so commonplace, ingrained, and complete that neither sex could imagine it otherwise. It would be there where the male would be thought of and punished as a transvestite when he tired to wear something other than his dainty undies and skirts, not when he properly had them on. It would be that world where, if some man were to think of himself as having any power or import such ideas would themselves be the "fantasy".

QUESTION: Do you prefer your unusual relationships to be loving and warm or cold and impersonal?

On the surface, cold and impersonal with the goal of maleness being objectified in general.

QUESTION: Do you feel safe and secure when you are in an unusual sexual relationship? Yes.

QUESTION: You are playing strip poker with three other people, with the losers becoming the sex slaves of the winner for the night. Everyone is down to just one article of clothing. What happens?

Two couples playing poker would be 2 women and 2 men. Final winning hands would be by one of the women. The triumphant woman would herself remove her last article of clothing as well and order the 2 males to shave completely [their body hair] and then dress in the female clothes. She'd declare the other female her equal and they would make up the men completely as women and make them act as female servants doing menial and humiliating tasks while she (the winner) would take the other female as a lover, tormenting and shaming the feminized obedient males.

QUESTION: A couple decides to set up rules for their unusual relationship. What are the major rules and penalties?

A women decides for a couple that the rules will be set up so that her husband will live in a totally subservient and feminized state. To the world he will appear as a submissive Lesbian partner. To her friends (all female) he will be merely a male to be degraded and used as an example of man's inferiority. Any lack of deference and obedience to women in general is cause for major punishment-- being exposed in public in front of strange females as a male slave in drag.

QUESTION: The dominant is seated on a couch and the slave is standing. What is being said?

The female dominant is seated inspecting the transvestized male slave standing, head lowered, before her. She constantly taunts his appearance, and verbally abuses him. She questions him on the proper role of males making him reiterate a catechism on female supremacy and male feminization and why it is the proper relationship between the sexes.

QUESTION: You are at a slave auction. Are you buying or are you purchasing? Who do you buy or who buys you?

I am being bought at the auction, by a group of beautiful dominant lesbians.

#011-691, white male, 32, college grad, married, significant other knows of his interests, a youngest child, no religious training, no religious beliefs, no political beliefs, always depressed for over a week, always feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, does not have friends who have SM interests, discovered SM through pornography at the age of 15, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM sometimes helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, usually submissive, 0/0, humiliation oriented, would disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was sexually abused but does believe that he was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand- written.

It is the near future, and women as a group have revolted and taken over power throughout the world. Leaders of the feminist revolt, predominantly Lesbians, have convinced all women that the only way to retain complete power is to completely reverse the old rules and relationships between the sexes and thereby establishing a more "natural order".

All power is to be placed in the hands of women with males relinquishing all rights and position except those positions considered "feminine" in the past. Males are psychologically and physically shamed and humiliated. FORCED TVism and feminization of the male is the most important and enjoyable tool the women use in crushing the male ego. All males eventually are reduced to degraded, cowering, and ashamed beings in their newly acquired girlish roles and dress.

Soon all females, even the straight ones, come to exhilarate in their new pride, power, and strength. So much so to the point that all women find the only use of the male is the joy they find in humiliating him further, teasing him about his feminized state, and seeing him in submissive and subservient roles that once belonged to women. Sexually, at last males are allowed no outlet, except, at most to orally serve the female- and even this is a punishment as no male is ever allowed orgasm at any time. All women, realizing that sexual, emotional and physical love is possible only between equals, and that the male is merely a sub-species, turn to each other in Sapphic Sisterhood. Finally males are reduced even in the household (when even allowed there) to the status of merely feminized maid and slave for Lesbian Mistress. His only occasional contact with sex is as "forced" onlooker who must view his final humiliation, by seeing his teasing mistresses in the throes of their "true" and Lesbian love.

Many details of the above fantasy are left out, because they are too numerous to mention and each is in a way a fantasy of its own. Males forced into various female roles subordinate to women could all be part of the above story. Males cross- dressed and made up forced to become women's "wives", secretaries, waitresses, maids, airline stewardesses, etc etc. As part of the role-reversed society I envision all kinds of fantasies about turnabout situations: sports minded women forcing males to assume cheerleader dress for their events, sororities reducing macho college males to maids at their house, women execs sending male secretaries for coffee, girlish males stripping at bachelorette parties, women whistling at shamed short-skirted males on the street, beauty contests for males with female judges. It goes on and on.

#012-815, white male 36, has not graduated high school, married, significant other knows of his interests, neither the youngest nor oldest child, strict religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, sometimes depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends with SM interests, was introduced to SM by another person at the age of 17, tries to meet others through ads, has used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is bisexual, usually dominant, 12/200, humiliation oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

I would like for my wife and myself to go to a s/m club. I would like for her to be on her hands and knees with her collar around her neck and a leash attached to it. We go in and I set down at a table she sets on the floor at my feet.

Up on the stage the lights come on and a male steps out on stage and tells everyone the show is about to begin. Then two people come on stage. They say they are there to show new thing out in the s/m. They talk to the people in the club. After they showed everything they had to show they said if anyone wanted to try them to come on up.

I pulled gerry to her feet and laid her to the stage. When I got her to the stage I had her lay across a saw horse that was on stage. I tied her hands and feet to the tie downs on the saw horse. Then I picked up a whip that they had shown in their show. I swung it though the air and let it land on her buttocks. She jumped alittle but was not able to move. She cryed out in pain and a tear came to her eye. Please Master she cryed don't hit me again it hurts. I told her it did not hurt me a bit and swung it again. She said I will do anything you tell me if you just stop hitting me. I laid the whip down and turned to the audience. Anyone want to use this little slut slave.

I sat down next to the stage and watched the show. She had to perform oral sex for male and female alike. She was spanked and whipped until her ass was a bright red. She was screwed in the ass and pussy. When everyone was done I left her tied on the stage. When the club closed I untied her and took her home to put to bed and rest for the night. Only in the morning to be reminded what happened the night before.

#013-65, white female, 30, some college, married, significant other knows of her interests, neither the youngest nor oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, sometimes depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, discovered SM through reading pornography at the age of 28, has not tried to meet others, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of her interests in SM, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is bisexual, submissive, 1/2, humiliation oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, believes that she was both sexually and emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Handwritten.

My favorite SM fantasy would be something like this.

While masturbating I am "discovered" by my husband and a few friends They decide to teach me a lesson by first tying me down Then they remove they're belts and begin to whip me ass and across my nipples-- I am forced to suck all their cocks and swallow all the come-- Deciding i need more they force me to jack them off with everyone coming on my body. I must then rub their come all over myself and play with my self till I come. And finally the largest widest cock goes straight up my ass-- while another slides into my wet cunt. Another fucks my large tits-- And I am grabbed by the hair forcing to blow the remaining cock.

During most of this fuck session-- I am being called a whore, slut-- cock lover lots of verbal abuse--

tyed down-- all for limbs And men abusing my body! Love it!

#014-895, white male, 35, college graduate, never married, no significant other, an oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, sometimes depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has no friends with SM interests, discovered SM through reading pornography at the age of 25, tries to meet others through ads, has used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM sometimes helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, usually submissive, 2/2, humiliation oriented, does not know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

I am at a medical establishment for a physical and am with a beautiful young nurse. She has me completely naked while filling out some forms. As she fills them out I can see her eyes occasionally looking at my penis and as she moves and I can see that full erection pointing straight up. When she has me stand up to measure my height she rubs seductively against me but i'm not allowed to take any initiative with her.

I'm taken back into an x ray room when there is another woman, x ray tech. She has me pose in a variety of positions while the other girl helps and watches. By this time my penis is really throbbing, as the girls order me to pose they also bring out a camera and take some pictures of me. Sometimes they take turns posing with me rubbing my body with oil and stroking my cock but ordering me not to cum or they put their fingers in my ass.

After a while they open the door and lead me down the hall still completely nude and with a full erection. There's quite a few women who enjoy watching me be led down the hall to a small auditorium where I'm tied to a chair with my legs spread and left there.

I'm left in there alone but the door is open and so women walk by they can look in and see me. Some of them come in and play with my cock and stroke it more with oil. Some of them even sit in my lap and let my penis slide into their vaginas or assholes. Finally there is about 5 or 6 women in the room and they notice me and force me to masturbate while they watch.

#015-68, white female, 47, college graduate, divorced, significant other knows of her interests, neither the youngest nor oldest child, strict religious training, strong religious beliefs, politically conservative, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has no friends with SM interests, was introduced to SM by another individual at the age of 40, tries to meet others through ads, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, dominant, 5/12, humiliation oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Typed.

I enjoyed filling our your questionnaire. I love the dominant lifestyle and wish that more Women could come to realize its benefits and pleasures.

Thus far I have not met many others that are in the scene. The few I have met are "normal", ordinary, attractive, and intelligent people.

If I or My slave can be of further help in your study, let Me know.

I have described a favorite fantasy and permitted My slave to do likewise.

For Female Superiority,

------

A fantasy that is also a frequent reality is to be served orally by My slave while I urge him on with My crop. I lie propped on pillows and place slave lying toward the foot of the bed positioned with his face between My legs. I am nearly always wearing stockings, high heeled shoes or boots, and My long kid gloves. slave is often wearing nipple clips. I orchestrate his performance by cracking My crop hard across his ass or back and enjoy his cries muffled by My glorious pussy.

Another position is sitting on his face and using My crop on his legs and belly while smothering his pleading mouth. In this position, I can also use My penis whip on his crotch while he struggles in his shackles.

An extension of the fantasy which I hope to fulfill in the near future is to be given oral service by another Mistress' slave while She whips him and to reciprocate by having slave give oral worship front and rear as I lay on My cat o' nine tails.

#016-919, white female, 50, college graduate, widowed, no significant other, neither the youngest nor the oldest child, strict religious training, moderate religious beliefs, not political, sometimes depressed for over a week, sometimes feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes hers are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 18, tries to meet by introducing others to SM and through ads, has not used the services of a professional, is occasionally a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, usually submissive, humiliation oriented, would disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was sexually abused, but believes she was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand- written.

The following scenario incorporates may of my favorite fantasies, all of which I have experienced, and is typical (if not exactly like one) of several sessions as "slave" I've experienced.

As previously ordered by my male, sexy master, I dress in sexy lingerie, nylons, heels and sleeping mask blindfold, then crawl to the living room, kneel with thighs open wide, hand on thighs, head bowed and silent. I wait thus until he silently approaches me and I feel a wide leather dog collar being fastened on my neck and a sharp tug on the leash attached.

"Keep your head bowed and don't speak unless spoken too, Slut!"

"Yes, Master."

"You will obey me, won't you, Cunt!"

"Yes, Master."

"You are my property, Bitch, and you are only good for serving me, right, Slave?!"

"Yes, Master."

"Now kiss my feet!" I kiss his leather boots. "Lick them, Slave- Cunt!" I obey until "Stop, Bitch!" I feel may head jerked erect any my nose held tight. When I gasp for air a bit- gag with reigns is shoved in my mouth and secured. Cuffs with short "hobble" chains are put on my wrists and ankles.

"Crawl, Slut-- move!" He drives me with a riding crop around the house. "Whoa, Pony-Cunt, your Master is tired!" He mounts my ass, crossing his ankles under my belly (I have fantasized spurs, but never used). I continue crawling as before, but much slower with more crop hits!

He dismounts, finally. "You are no Pony-girl, Slut! You need punishment, don't you Cunt-Slave?" I nod, still gagged. He unhobbles me, roughly rolls me on my back with his foot and strips me nude, waist down, then rolls me face down and keeping his foot on my ass unhooks and strips of my bra.

"In the chair, Slut!" I crawl and (with help) sit in a straight chair. "Open that cunt, Slave!" I obey and am soon securely bound, thighs spread wide open. My leash is attached to my bound wrists pulling my head back so if I try to raise it my slave's collar chokes me. He removes the gag and blindfold (I can only see the ceiling!). A rope binds my breasts flat. He teases and torments me with his mouth, cock, tongue, hands, vibrator, dildoe, and things I can't distinguish in my torment, on my body, face, nipples, cunt. When I start loudly begging for him to stop or take me, he plasters wide tape across my mouth. "Silence, Bitch!" He increases the torment and taunts me (i.e.): "Now beg, slut, plead for this cock in your hot cunt, Slave. Want it, Tramp!", (rubbing my face with the tip). He delights in my muffled pleas. Finally I am freed except for the taped mouth, collar and bound wrists and shoved to the floor. He straps my thighs, knees and ankles together and drags me by them placing me before a mirrored wall where I can see my suffering and helplessness! After a long time he comes and sits down in a comfortable chair with the newspaper. "Come here, Cunt, your Master needs a footstool!" I obey with much writhing and struggling! "Good Doggie! Lie still now." He detaches the leash from my wrists so I can relax a little but strikes me with the crop whenever I move slightly. He is teasing and humiliating me with his bare feet, his toes probing my cunt, breasts, and ass I lie on my back where his foot has rolled me. I remain so a long time while he relaxes, reads, watches TV sports, etc. When he sees me trying to watch the screen he blindfolds me. Later he gets up; "Stay, Bitch!" I don't hear him return and have rolled on my side, have disobeyed.

I feel the lash of a "cat o'nine tales" (home made leather thongs attached to a wooden handle), two or three whacks on my ass and body. "You'll get more after your supper, Bitch! Now crawl over and feed from your bowl, Doggie." I struggle and writhe to where I smell food. Almost reaching it I feel a tug on my leash as he attaches it to something so I can just reach "my" double-doggie bowl (with difficulty) with my mouth. I turn my head and make a muffled "plea" but instead of removing the tape he shoves my mouth into the messy food in the bowl with his foot. It covers my noes too! When I struggle he lifts his foot, strips off the tape and shoves my face in again. "Eat, Bitch!" I eat with much struggle, with my mouth and tongue! I hear a splash in the other bowl. "Drink Bitch!" My face is shoved into a bowl of beer which I proceed to lap up as soon as I get my breath. I hear him at the table enjoying a relaxing meal and know he is savoring my humiliation.

"Finish it all, Slut-Bitch, every bite!" I finally stop, thinking the bowl is empty, and start to relax. I feel a crack from the whip and my blindfold is jerked off. "Look at that mess. Clean it up Bitch!" I proceeded to lick up what has spilled on the floor. When it is clean, "Good doggie, come and get your desert."

He unbinds my legs and wrists so I can crawl where he leads me and stands before me. "Sit up and beg for it, Bitch!" I kneel and beg to suck and lick his cock and balls. He holds my leash so it is very short and I can barely reach his cock tip with my tongue. Finally I've begged enough so he lets me suck and lick 'til I swallow his "cum", but for the last drops he withdraws and shoots at my face (still with some food clinging to it). "You're a mess, Slave. Go clean up that messy cunt!" I obey.

After a short respite I am ordered to crawl in and lie on the bed face up and spread-eagled. He ties me down securely and alternately with a whip lashes me from my breasts to my foot soles. He brings me to the brink; unties me; "Turn over, Slut!" He places pillows under me to raise my ass high and reties my ankles wide apart and straps my arms, wrists to elbows, behind me. He continues the whip and sexual torment. Finally he stops and walks out leaving me "hot" and writhing. My ass is burning too from the whip! After a long wait he returns with a wide leather belt in his hand, doubled. "Now for your punishment, you lousy Bitch! You need it, don't you Slut?" "Yes Master."

You'll get it, 50 lashes on your Slave ass, Whore!" While he speaks he is striking my back, legs and foot soles lightly but menacingly. "Kiss it, Slut!" He holds the belt to my lips and I obey. "Beg for it, Cunt, 50 lashes on your crummy ass. You need it, Slave, don't you?" I beg as ordered. He begins the belt lashing ordering me to count the strokes aloud as they land. Some come fast, some slow, even minutes apart. When I anticipate and count too soon the next stroke is extra hard. He blindfolds me-- "Now guess when you'll get it, cunt!" Some are even longer apart then and I'm hollering from pain and surprise! I feel my nose pinched again and a rubber ball is strapped in my mouth. "Mustn't disturb the neighbors, Cunt. When I count the last ten you'll know it for a long time. You'll have the welts and a red ass tomorrow, Baby, won't you? Answer me, Slut!" I moan into the gag and continue making muffled sounds as the hardest strokes yet fall on my burning ass. "Forty-eight!, 49! One more Tramp, ready Slave?" I moan loudly, ready and dreading, but instead I hear him walk out. A long time later I hear "This will keep your pretty ass looking good, Slave! Ready!?" Before I can moan I hear the whirr and feel the stinging torture of the riding crop!! "50!!"

He quickly unties my ankles, positions and uses me dog fashion for a while, then frees my arms, turns me on my back and penetrates me from above; finally taking off the gag and holding my leash tight for a long kiss at the end.

He gets up after and we relax a bit. I start to stand too but he snaps "Crawl, Bitch!" He leads me on a shortened leash to the living room couch. I'm on my hands and knees before it. "Don't move!" He grabs my discarded panties and nylons and rolls them up and stuffs it in my mouth and ties it cruelly! He brings two glasses of whine but I must serve as his footstool again as he slowly sips half of his before I'm allowed to sit and drink mine!

QUESTION: Do you find the thought of unusual sex more or less exciting than actual unusual sex? (Or put another way, is fantasy more fun than reality?)

I believe that actually doing it is more exciting to me. When I do experience a fantasy (as close as it can be) I get very "turned on" sexually and am in a very peaceful state emotionally and mentally even though I may be in a physically difficult state.

However, my favorite fantasy is probably too impractical to ever occur in it's entirety, so I'm "forced" to resort to fantasy "fun" there.

I have played "pony-girl"; being bridled-gagged, hobbled, sometimes blindfolded, then crawling with my master riding on my "ass" wielding a small whip or crop and guiding me with reins; or he leads me with leash attached to my neck collar, crawling or walking.

In my complete fantasy I'm in more elaborate leather equipment, a sort of helmet bit-gag with blinders and/or eye covers (when he desires), harnessed and hobbled securely. My master, perhaps his assistant mistress and his friends ride me. I'm also wearing a saddle and stirrups and the rider uses spurs (and the crop). This takes place outdoors on a sandy or grassy track so I can be used thus extensively with just some sort of pads for my knees and hands. I'm nude, sometimes. I wear strapped in plugs (2) [in her anus and vagina] which will vibrate when he desires. The butt-plug has some sort of long "tail" attached.

I also sometimes pull a pony-cart with one or two passengers. I'm erect, very firmly attached to the crosspiece on the front of the tongue (essentially restrained as before).

Between uses I'm hobbled and attached by my leash to a wooden post, sometimes on hands and knees (wrists hobbled too), sometimes kneeling or standing with wrists cuffed behind, otherwise free unless something stays for punishment.

For long rests, including overnight, I'm in my stable on clean straw, food and water is placed in troughs on the floor which I lap on hands and knees. (I'm subject to sexual use at all times of course.)

QUESTION: Do you prefer your unusual relationships to be loving and warm or cold and impersonal?

Loving and warm, in fact, to insure that no matter how strictly he dominants me (and I want "total" domination) he will not put me in danger or exceed my limits.

QUESTION: If you had to choose, would you rather watch others having unusual sex, or have others watch you?

Prefer being watched as I love to participate, especially as a slave. I've never dominated more than one male nor watched others being dominated. I fantasize being a slave to a mixed group-- (I've been dominated by three males at one time, and once bound by two males and one female for photo session).

An exhibitionistic fantasy of mine goes like this:

My master leads me into the room by rope collar and leash. I'm blindfolded, wearing only long light-weight garments, wrists rope bound behind (these are rough hemp ropes, not usual clothesline) and ankles rope hobbled. He verbally presents me as his "slave" and "chattel". (I respond "Yes, Master" or "Yes, Mistress", etc. to questions). The group (I can't tell how many) proceed to squeeze, prod, generally inspect my body (as at a livestock or slave auction) brutally (but not cruelly); making obscene comments, writing obscene words and phrases on my body and face. This continues until I'm ready to collapse and am lowered to the floor and used sexually by all however desired.

After a rest I'm ordered to dress as a "French Maid" and partially restrained and gagged and spend the rest of the evening serving food, drinks, sex (anything ordered by a guest). Gag can be removed and replaced as desired for oral sex or interrogation, etc. I'm used as "pony-girl" to carry guests from room to room and to door at close of party. There's and ample supply of whips, paddles and bondage equipment (including plugs, dildoes, vibrators). All used extensively by individuals and group as a whole. Games for my humiliation will be played, such as obscene quiz games with "wrong" answers bringing punishment and "relays" with me crawling blindfolded to find and fetch something with my mouth within a time limit, or be punished.

I can only drink and eat "doggie style", lapping or catching with my mouth what's tossed or dangled, after properly begging for what is offered, on my knees.

QUESTION: Do you feel that a professional dominant or submissive really has an interest in his/her role, or is just interested in the money?

I think most have some degree of interest, though some in possibly "underworld" establishments may be only interested financially, (as in pornography, prostitution, etc.) as in large cities.

QUESTION: How important is bondage to you? Please give an example of the type of bondage you practice (if any).

Very important to slave sessions "enjoyment". Bondage experience has been quite extensive, rope, straps, clothes pins, gags, blindfolds, (many positions, sometime breast bound), leather cuffs, neck collars, leashes, harness, handcuffs. Gives me sense of security and belonging.

QUESTION: If you were to try to explain to a "straight" person what unusual sex is about and what you got out of it, what would you say?

I enjoy being sexually dominated by an attractive, virile partner. The bondage, discipline & "humiliation" excites me sexually, & makes me feel at peace (in contrast to the real hassle & real u are playing strip poker with three other people, with the losers becoming the sex slaves of the winner for the night. Everyone is down to just one article of clothing. What happens?

The three others are two males and one female. I'm the first total loser (only panties left), so others decide for punishment I must stand up in full view of all, remove them, and roll them up and stuff them in my mouth. I obey, and then she says "Crawl over here, Cunt". I do and my gag is tied securely by my nylons. The male next to her ties my wrists before me and says "Stand over there and play with yourself, Slut". Other male says "Spread- 'em wide, Bitch". I obey. They don't allow me to stop until the game ends.

The winner orders we three losers to "Kneel Slaves". We are whipped on backs and asses. We serve as "maids" to our master and also are bound together and "forced" to indulge in many sexual activities (including bisexual) in many different positions.

QUESTION: A couple decides to set up rules for their unusual relationship. What are the major rules and penalties?

Rules for Slave: (1) Slave must be attired as ordered (clothes and/or B&D equipment), kneeling, head bowed at specified time. Punishment for failure: Hogtied, gagged, blindfolded, 20 lashes for each minute late. (2) Slave only speaks when spoken to, says Yes (or NO) Master (or Sir) etc. Punishment for failure: Wears gag (after session as long as ordered). (3) Slave never raises head or stands without permission. Punishment for failure: strict bondage. (4) Slave kisses whip (etc.) before "punishment" and thanks Master afterwards. Punishment for failure: 10 extra lashes. (5) If ordered to bring object, uses mouth. Punishment for failure: Arms are bound so slave has to use mouth as long as Master desires. (6) Must assume position for bondage, etc. immediately. Punishment: Placed in more sever bondage than originally planned.

Rules for Master: (1) No whips that cut or mark permanently. (2) No toilet games (except slave may have to hold his "cock" while urinating. (3) No cigarettes, candles, etc. near bound slave.

QUESTION: What is being said?

"Are you my slave, H?." "Yes, Master." "Will you obey my every command?" "Yes Master." "Who owns your body, Slave?" "You, Master." "Kneel and kiss my feet, Bitch." "Yes Master."

QUESTION: You are at a slave auction. Are you being bought or are you purchasing? Who do you buy or who buys you?

I am being bought by a male master with female mistress who assists him and occasionally also acts as a slave.

QUESTION: Do you feel that the "straight" media-- books, movies, television, etc.-- accurately depict the unusual scene and the people involved in it? If not, why?

No. Usually depicts only SM. Seem to equate scene with bullwhips, cats and chains (real torture). Gradually some improvement. I don't ever expect to march for "Slaves Rights" but do hope to be better understood in future, then will feel safer in scene.

QUESTION: Please tell me about your earliest unusual thoughts (at age 18).

Fantasized about well built male tying me to a bed & whipping me. First I realized were sex connected. Also liked being tied to a tree or used as horse (jump rope around waist as reins) driven, & hobbled when resting. I was very fearful of blindfold games & initiations. My only experience was into high school freshman class. Later realized (18 or so) both have sexual overtones of me. I was very nervous & shy as a child, except after I cried I'd feel much happier.

QUESTION: You mention that you try to meet people through ads. Do you place ads, or answer them, or both?

I have placed or answered ads in the past, (not for a few years). Also bulletin board ads in adult book store. Most contacts were through my ads.

QUESTION: How do you go about deciding who you will try to introduce to the unusual? Is there something about the person that leads you to believe that he might share your interests?

Someone I find sexually attractive and virile, who has dominant ways in sexual situations with me. Some showed interest in fantasy or pornography.

QUESTION: You mentioned that sometimes you are a professional. At these times, how do you go about meeting clients? How are fees set? How are limits set?

Through ads, limits set by correspondence & meeting for dinner or drinks (as usual). Fee amt. is voluntary, I'll approve (or not) in advance. Has been for sessions (slave or dominant) or B&D modeling (photos) (plus transportation if distant city). (Clients were usually older or married.)

QUESTION: Although you get enjoyment from the scene, a feminist might see your interests as "antifeminist". What would you say to such a person?

I believe in equal rights incl. my right to play "sex slave". Many jobs I did in past now require much more physical labor so I prefer to channel my energies to something I enjoy most. Also I prefer sexual domination to everyday real humiliation of bosses, (husband) & people in general.

#017-423, white male, 31, post graduate, never married, significant other does not know of his interests, a youngest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, sometimes depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, unsure if he has friends who have SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 16, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM sometimes helps him achieve orgasm, is bisexual, versatile, 3/3, humiliation oriented, does not know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has one major fantasy. Hand-written.

My favorite s/m fantasy goes like this: i have been caught stealing from my employer, and he has offered me a choice-- accept discipline from him and his secretary, or go to jail. I can't afford a jail sentence, so I choose punishment. I am told to report to his secretary, a stunningly beautiful women, with large firm breasts, shapely buttocks, and long black hair. When I arrive, she orders me to strip and kneel. I am reluctant, but obey. She then puts a dog collar and leash around by neck and orders me to crawl into the next office on my hands and knees. My boss, a tall handsome man in his mid-fifties, is waiting in front of his desk, a riding crop in his hand. He tells me that I am now his slave and that I am ordered to lick their boots as a sign of obedience. After I have done a thorough job, I am ordered to stand, bend over and grasp my ankles. My boss informs me that his secretary and he are going to take turns whipping me and that I am to thank them for each stroke. They then take turns beating my naked ass. After eight strokes each, the punishment stops and I am ordered to kiss the crop and lick their boots in gratitude. My master then turns me over to his secretary to be evaluated as to my potential for giving pleasure. She sits on the edge of his desk, takes my leash in her hand, and orders me to crawl between her legs pull down her panties with my teeth and eat her cunt. I eat her pussy until she comes. She informs my master I'm adequate but need further training. She then orders me to fuck her. While I am doing this my master lashes me with his belt as an inducement to work harder. After a long fuck she comes again and I shoot a gigantic load into my mistresses twat. I am then forced to my knees and made to suck my own semen out of her cunt. I am then ordered to lie face down across the master's desk. My mistress spits on her finger and shoves first one and then two, and three fingers into my anus. She tells the master that I have a tight "cunt" and that he should fuck me. He takes out a beautiful 8 inch cock and slowly strokes it to erection in front of my face while calling me a pussy and forcing me to beg for a good fucking. He then walks around behind me, and with no warning shoves the whole thing into my ass. I scream in pain but make no attempt to escape. He fucks me for a full half hour before shooting such a huge load that it bubbles out of my ass around his cock. He forces me to lick his cock clean. I manage this and faint. When I come to I have a huge erection. My master orders me to masturbate. I come very quickly and am ordered to lick my own semen off the floor. As this next act in the program of degradation, I am told that I am to be permitted to worship my master's cock with my mouth. I kneel in front of him and he instructs me to kiss the tip of his prick and swirl my tongue around the head and shaft. While I am doing this, my mistress kneels behind me and forces a large dildo into my sore ass and begins a slow but hard fuck. While I suck my masters cock he calls me cunt mouth and pussy and says he would make me available to all the real men in the plant to suck them off. After some minutes, he shoots a huge load into my mouth. Halfway through, he pulls his cock out from my hungry lips and sprays jisum all over my face. Finally, bruised, welted, with a sore ass and my masters come on my face, I am ordered to my feet. I am shown a video-tape that has been made of every minute of my humiliation and told that I am now their slave forever-- If I don't like that they will simple show the tape to everyone. As a means of sealing my slavery, I am ordered to perform one final, ultimate humiliation. A great Dane dog is brought in and I am carefully photographed and taped while sucking it off and being fucked by it. Finally, I am branded with my owners company trade mark and ordered to make myself available for sexual servitude to the boss, his secretary, or anyone else they give me to-- I am a whore-slave.

The closest I have come to fulfilling this fantasy was on one occasion when a man who appeared to be about fifty picked me up in a washroom and took me to his office. He then had me lick his shoes and suck his cock while his teen- aged secretary (blond, female) watched.

#018-303, white female, 20, some college, divorced, significant other knows of her interests, neither the youngest nor oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, rarely depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, was introduced to SM by another person at the age of 15, tries to meet by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of her interests in SM, believes SM sometimes helps her achieve orgasm, is bisexual, versatile, 7/36, pain oriented, would approve if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

I've never had to write any of my fantasies down before. Though I only engage in SM 2 or 3 times a month, I have sex 4 or 5 times a week, and sometimes more frequently for 2- 3 week intervals. I have been sexually active since the age of 14 when I discovered my two older cousins in my grandfathers hay loft. I didn't actually pursue SM until about the age of 17. I had tendencies toward it but never any active partners. I usually only fantasized about it when I masturbated. My favorite fantasy is a pretty short one. For some reason, I come faster and easier than any other way. It's one I've used for years and add to it once in a while. Here goes...

I'm working late and I get up to leave but I sense someone else, somewhere. I tell myself it's just because everything is so quiet. I get my things and walk out to my car. I still have the strange sensation of being followed.

I only live a short distance away so I am home in no time. When I let myself in I hear footsteps behind me. Before I can turn a hand closes over my mouth. I'm pulled roughly backwards. An arm comes around to pin my arms down and I can feel a hard muscular body against mine.

I'm forced into my house and into the living room. Though I try to struggle I know it's no use. I realize there are two of them. One holds me as the other wanders around from room to room. I can make out their builds but it is too dark to see their faces.

I can hear the one wandering in my bedroom, opening draws. I pray that they only want to rob me and then will leave. The one holding me starts to roam around-- my body. Uncovering my mouth after insuring I wont scream by gagging me he pushes me to the floor. Though I'm scared to death a thrill runs up my body.

Kneeling on my arms his hands are free. He rips the blouse I'm wearing apart. Slowly he traces my breasts with his fingers. I am, of course, braless. Involuntarily, my nipples harden. A pulsing starts in my cunt. The stranger bends his head and lightly licks my nipples. I moan. I don't care what he takes. My body takes over from my senses and I can feel a wetness growing between my legs. He laughs, a soft gentle laugh and lifts me in his arms. He carries me to my bedroom where his partner is waiting, I'm thrown to my bed face down. Someone, I'm not sure which one, ties my wrists to the bed posts with some of my panty-hose. I realize they aren't here to rob me. My skirt and panty hose are ripped from my body and my legs are bound to either corner of the bed. I can feel the cool air on my cunt as I am exposed. A pillow is thrust under my ass, parting my cheeks. Slowly a tongue traces the inside of my thigh. How I want that tongue in me. I squirm, trying to force him closer. Suddenly a stinging slap crosses my ass. "We decide when and what you get", I hear one of them say. Again I'm slapped. It sends a tingling sensation all through my cunt. Again I feel a tongue tracing the inside of my thigh. Slowly it moves up, and suddenly it's on my clit. Biting, sucking on my clit, he makes me come immediately. I've never come so hard and fast before. Before my body has time to calm down I feel a hot, thick shaft rammed into my juicy hole. In and out, faster and faster. I move my hips to meet every thrust. In moments I feel his hot come spurting inside me, filling me. Again and again I feel his cock throb as it empties. I can feel my arms and legs being unbound and I am thrown over on my back. In seconds I am bound again. One of them mounts me and begins thrusting his hard rod into me. This one is even bigger than the last. The other straddles my chest and forces himself into my mouth. I can taste myself on him. I know he's the one who just had me. Because I am tied I can only accept him as he moves in and out of my mouth. The sensation of a cock in my cunt and in my mouth are too much. I can feel my body arching, meeting both their thrusts, wanting more. As I reach orgasm I can feel hot cum pouring in my mouth and cunt. This goes on for what seems like hours, alternating the two. At one point one of them takes me in the ass. Every way they take me.

I usually only use this fantasy to get myself off. Many times I don't get very far. For my joint "effort" with partners I get into whip and sexual paraphernalia, but when I'm alone and with the help of one of my many vibrators I only need my fantasy. It's always worked. Hope you enjoyed it, too. When it suits me I add to it and change things but it's basically the same every time.

Sincerely Lustfully,

Question: Do you prefer your unusual relationships to be loving and warm or cold and impersonal?

I like them both ways. My sexual appetite is vast and I enjoy sex in just about all forms. In most cases I enjoy a more loving and warm relationship.

Question: Do you feel emotionally safe and secure when you are in an unusual relationship?

Only when I trust the person I am with. I have had a few experiences where I didn't totally trust the other individual(s) and they weren't rewarding experiences.

Question: How important is bondage to you. Please give an example of the type of bondage you practice (if any).

Bondage plays a part in my sexual activities. I'm not sure exactly how important I would rate it. I have velvet ropes that my partner ties to my brass bed.

Question: During unusual sex, have you been photographed in compromising positions?

Many times. Some of my partners like to have "remembrances". I have a few myself. I am careful as to who I allow to photograph me. If in "compromising positions" you mean those that can be used to blackmail me? Thus far, no one has. I hope no one does.

Question: You are playing strip poker with three other people, with the losers becoming the sex slaves of the winner for the night. Everyone is down to just one article of clothing. What happens?

First off-- I'm the only woman. The other three players are men. At the end of the last hand-- I've won. Those three lovely men must service me for the evening. After they've removed their last piece of clothing I lay back on the couch. In my fantasy the three men would be Tony, my boss who is slender, with blond hair and gray eyes, Jeffrey who also works with me-- Jeffrey is red haired and green eyed, and Tim, brown haired and brown eyes, luscious Tim. Instructing the others to sit on the floor facing me, I tell them that they cannot move, speak or touch themselves or they will be punished. They are also instructed that they cannot come until I give them permission to.

I choose Tim as the first. I'm sitting on the couch facing them, my feet resting on the low table in front of the couch. Opening my legs, I instruct Tim to come to me on his knees. When he is in front of me, I tell him to lick and kiss my legs, but he must never touch my cunt. They are all beginning to get erections just from watching me.

My cunt is getting wetter as Tim nibbles and licks at my legs, coming closer and closer to my cunt. Still, I will not let him reach my cunt. In his excitement he cums, not able to hold back.

For his punishment he is sent to the corner of the room. There I place a ring on his erect cock. It has a chain on it. This is attached to a ring on the ceiling. His hands are then bound behind him. He is not blindfolded. He must watch as I let the others pleasure me.

Tim is my lover. I knew he couldn't control himself, so I chose him first. I want him to watch.

I approach Tony and grasp his cock in my hand. I instruct Jeffrey to move around and eat me out. While I enjoy Tim's cock in my mouth and Jeffrey's mouth on my cunt I watch Tim. He strains against his chains. Only causing himself pain as he does so. For the next hour I, Tony and Jeffrey enjoy sex in countless positions and orgasm-- so many I can't count. All the while Tim must watch. Finally I have been pleasured by Tony and Jeffrey to a level I find is enough. I tell them to unchain Tim, and unbind his hands. Then I order them to dress and leave. I then take Tim in my arms, massaging his swollen cock and balls, rubbing his legs to relieve the numbness from standing too long. We begin to slowly make love. We'll continue for the rest of the night.

Question: The dominant is seated on a couch and the slave is standing. What is being said.

The slave is being chastised for not having her mistresses clothes laundered and waiting for her. She is instructed to lay across her mistress' lap for punishment. Pulling her pants down she kneels across her mistress' lap. The mistress lightly caresses the exposed cheeks before her. Trailing her fingers with desire, waiting for the punishment yet to come. Her mistress raises her hand and slaps it across the slaves ass. The slave winces but she knows if she cries out her mistress will punish her even more.

Her mistress continues to slap her ass, each time her cunt pressing against her mistress' legs. Finally, when her bottom is a bright red, her mistress stops. She again caresses the slave's ass. Bending over she lightly kisses the spot where earlier her hands were inflicting pain. The slave trembles slightly. Her mistress caresses her thighs, parting her legs slightly. Caressing her cunt lips, inserting one, then two fingers into her wet cunt. Her thumb rubbing the slave's clit. The slave then gives in to the orgasm she's been waiting to expel for so long. They then rise and go into their bedroom for more pleasure.

Question: You are at a slave auction. Are you being bought, or are you buying. Who do you buy or who buys you?

I am being sold. A large muscled man buys me. I'm one of the last to be sold. He's been standing there the whole time. Watching, waiting. When I'm brought up to be sold, he moves forward. I'm made to stand there as the auctioneer tells of my attributes. Though I'm barely wearing anything, I'm made to remove it. My full breasts are exposed, with my nipples hardening as I feel his stare. There is a chair (much like a dentist's chair, but not quite). I'm forced to sit in it. It is made so that it exposes my ass and cunt, my legs spread wide. He moves closer. Right to the edge of the stage. He stares right into my eyes. My cunt is wet. I can feel my juices flowing. The bidding begins, unthinkable amounts are bid, but he goes higher. He keeps out-bidding everyone until I'm finally his to do with as he pleases.

Question: Do you feel that the "straight" media-- books, movies, television, etc.-- accurately depict the unusual scene and the people involved in it? If not, why?

No, because right off they are "straight" and they present anything else as deviant, freakish, abnormal. It's meant to look like that by them.

Question: How important are rules and rituals to you in your unusual fantasies and relationships?

The all important rule in any of my relationships is to know when to stop before you are actually physically abusing someone.

Rules and rituals are for the most part not all that important. Generally, myself and my partners do what comes naturally to that moment. We have set up situations at times.

Question: How were you introduced to unusual sex?

I was 17 at the time. My lover and I had gone to Cap Cod for the weekend. We had a small beach cottage rented for the summer, but had to work during the week. Dave and I had been seeing each other for about eight months. We had a pretty good sex life. I thought it was all it could be, until that weekend. Dave was quiet the whole way down. I knew something was on his mind and he would tell me in his own time.

We arrived after dark because we had to wait until after work to leave. The cottage had four rooms; kitchen, living room, bath and bedroom. We hadn't seen each other most of the week because of our work schedules, but we wanted to relax after the drive before going to bed. I must have dozed off, because the next thing I knew Dave was carrying me to the bedroom. After the wine we had brought with us I was really relaxed. He undressed me slowly, kissing me long and deep as he did. Then he undressed himself as I lay there watching. He came over to me and kissed me. Then he moved to my breasts, massaging them and kissing them. At the same time he was raising my arms above my head. From somewhere-- I don't know where-- he produced some rope and tied my hands to the bed posts. I started to protest but he silenced me with a kiss.

He kissed his way down to my feet and then tied my feet-- with my legs spread wide-- to the bottom of the bed. I was apprehensive but excited at the same time. Then he blindfolded me. I started to question him but he told me to be quiet. He said it so quietly but so commandingly I was afraid to say anything. He moved off the bed and I wondered where he was. I felt the bed sink down from his weight. Suddenly I felt his lips on mine. We kissed, tasting each other and the wine we had shared earlier. He moved over my body with his lips-- slowly. When he reached my parted legs he paused. I could feel myself getting wetter. Suddenly his mouth was on my cunt. I was thrusting forward. Straining against my ropes, trying to get more of his mouth. He was sucking on my clit. Then he moved, thrusting his tongue into my cunt. I was grinding my ass into the mistress, wanting to grab his head and pull it closer to me. Suddenly he stopped. I cried out. I wanted more. The next thing I knew I could feel his stiff cock pressing at my lips. Hungeringly I opened my mouth. He bent over me and started to eat me out. I couldn't hold his cock, so I had to move my head up and down, sucking and licking his long hard shaft. I could feel myself coming, exploding as Dave lapped hungeringly at my cunt juices. Then he too exploded in my mouth. I swallowed all of his cum. He moved again. In an instant he thrust his cock into my waiting cunt. He was thrusting deeply into me. I tried to match him thrust for thrust by my restraints made it difficult. Finally, Dave stopped. He untied me and I lay still for a moment. Just rubbing were the ropes had been. Dave moved slowly and we kissed. The he entered me, slowly moving in and out. The tempo increased. I was matching him thrust for thrust until we both exploded and we collapsed in each others arms. We drifted off to sleep. In the morning when Dave woke up it was his turn.

I fully enjoyed the experience with Dave. We never got into anything other than mild bondage and light spanking, but it helped to "start me out".

Question: Have you ever given thought to why you enjoy submitting to both sexes but enjoy dominating only women?

I like to feel overpowered by men, but in a relationship with a women I like to call all the moves. I do enjoy submitting to women, but I usually wind up being the aggressor. I don't think I like dominating men because of the way I was brought up and my early sexual experiences.

Question: What is a typical session like when you are dominant? When you are submissive?

A typical dominant session includes having my partner dress as I like (or be undressed). And perform the services I request. I usually have her eat me out first. Sometimes I'll force her to make love to a friend. She must bathe me and powder me. And perform all the sexual acts I request for as long as I request.

In a typical submissive session I am waiting for Tim in the clothes he picked for me that morning. When he arrives I must prepare a warm bath for him. I soap him all over and rinse him down. After his bath I gave him a massage. I'll then perform whatever act he requires of me. For Tim I have to suck him off. After that I let him give it to me anally. Then he fucks me missionary. Tim isn't into bondage and such very much. Mostly I just wait on him and do everything he tells me.

I still have relationships with many others and he accepts that, because he knows that he can't do everything for me, but at least once or twice a week I am all his.

Question: What do you feel are the qualities of a good dominant and submissive?

Dominant: Strong and firm but also loving and caring. Submissive: Sole purpose is to please mistress/master.

Question: If you were to try to tell a "straight"

person what you got out of the unusual, what would you say? It's exciting. There's no cruelty involved at all (unless it's small punishments). Sex doesn't become boring because there aren't any inhibitions involved. You know what you like and you don't have to worry about your partner(s) respecting you or your ideas. But, you also know you can stop if you want to. To some it's an addiction. Those that get pleasure out of only hurting-- they can't be loving at the same time.

Yet you can carry on what's thought to be a "normal" life. Family or work or whatever. But it isn't for everyone. Some people can't overcome the inhibitions taught them all their life.

About a year after this correspondence, Lisa was asked to re-answer some questions to see if her fantasies or interests had changed.

Question: You are playing strip poker with three other people, with the losers becoming the sex slaves of the winner for the night. Everyone is down to just one article of clothing. What happens?

One more had is played. The losers include myself (I never was good at poker), Tim and Mary. Jeffrey the winner commands us to take off the last of our clothing. We do so and sit back to wait for our next commands. It doesn't take long for Jeffrey to decide what we must do next. We are ordered down to the "playroom".

Mary and I are ordered onto the mat in the middle of the room. We are told not to touch each other or ourselves. Jeffrey then draws a chair up to the mat and sits with his profile to us. He then instructs Tim to kneel in front of him. He then removes his last article of clothing. Once this is done he then shoves Tim's face into his lap and instructs him to lick his cock. Tim does so happily-- he has before. Jeffrey's erection grows fast. Mary and I watch hungeringly as Tim and Jeffrey enjoy themselves. We're both growing wet, waiting and longing for our cummaxs.

Tim is taking all of Jeffrey's cock in his mouth and sucking greedingly on it. Jeffrey is holding on to Tim's hair and pulling it in his hands. Mary and I can see that Jeffrey has a huge erection.

Jeffrey begins to moan and pulls Tim's head closer. He starts moving in his chair. Pumping in and out of Tim's mouth. At the last minute Jeffrey pulls out of Tim's mouth and comes all over Tim. Tim opens his mouth to catch all the hot come spurting in his face. Jeffrey commands him to stop.

He then instructs Tim to crawl over to Mary and I so that we can clean him off. He is on his hands and knees with his face over ours. I reach for his beautiful hard cock and Jeffrey slaps my thigh. I'm told that we can only lick the come off him. We cannot touch him with anything, except our tongues. Mary and I take advantage and let our tongues slip into each others mouths, tasting each other and Jeffrey's come. Tim by this time is ready to bust.

Jeffrey orders Tim to stand up with his cock over us on the mat. Mary and I are then told to "play" with each other. We don't hesitate to obey.

Mary reaches for my breast which she begins to suck and bite; massaging the other with her hands. My hands trail down her body, over her breasts, pausing to pinch her ripe, hard nipples; down her smooth belly to her hair between her legs. I part her lips. Slowly I play with her hard clit. Rolling it between my fingers. Sliding my fingers in the wetness between her legs. I slide a finger into her hot, wet hole. I can feel her muscles tightening, squeezing my finger. She moves to open her legs wider. Allowing me to put two, then three fingers inside her. She moves her hand down to my cunt and without any waiting sticks two fingers inside me. I move to take more inside. I move kissing and biting my way down her body. We lie side by side with our bodies facing each other. I part her legs and touch her clit with my tongue. Mary is moving her fingers in and out of me. Licking my thighs and reaching to squeeze my breast. I'm parting her lips and ramming my tongue into her cunt. Faster and faster we fuck each other with our hands and tongues. Faster until we come. hungeringly we lick each others juices. Then I feel hot come all over us as they finish jacking themselves off over us.

Then they fall to the mats and we play for the rest of the night.

#019-60, white female, 31, high school graduate, divorced, significant other knows of her interests, an only child, no religious training, moderate religious beliefs, no political views, never depressed for over a week, sometimes feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, was introduced to SM by another person at the age of 30, has not tried to meet others, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM does not help her achieve orgasm, is usually heterosexual, usually submissive, 3/18, pain oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

I am very new to this form of sexual activity. I enjoy it very much. The man in my life I live with, love and trust. We have a understanding of each others limits. He has brought out a completely different person in me. We are in a different world when we enter our session. I feel this way, if it feels good do it.

I believe my most favorite fantasy is to be bound, spread eagle, blindfolded, have my tits tied tight and my nipples sucked on. A cock in my mouth and a large one pounding at my cunt. All this at the same time and more men waiting to start when the others finish.

This fantasy has not happened. I also fantasize about making love to another woman while my lover is bound and out of reach.

I have not really gotten into this fantasy as the time was not right.

As you can see I will be happy to answer any other questionnaires.

#020-28, white female, 39, post graduate, divorced, significant other knows of her interests, an only child, some religious training, strict religious beliefs, politically liberal, rarely depressed for over a week, sometimes feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes hers are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 8, tries to meet through ads, at SM clubs, and by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a lifestyle, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is bisexual, versatile, 4/6, pain oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was sexually abused but does believe that she was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Typed.

My Esteemed Colleague from psychology:

I am pleased to participate in your much-needed survey. Although my field is cultural anthropology and I am not personally attracted by quantitative methodology [she favors observation or participant-observation], I have no problem with supporting the research perspective of "our pals next door" in psych.

Like you, I have often grown impatient with the framing of the S/M lifestyle by traditional social scientist. I am particularly frustrated with the "medical model" of contemporary psych. Honestly! You'd think most of those turkeys never had to take any basic courses in human biology and evolution. To hear them tell it, the hominid line stepped off from a gang of conformist monkeys who did everything exactly the same way... instead of being what we really are-- the species who made variability into a virtue! Lets hear it for a social science which celebrates human differences.

Please write me and let me know if there's anything I can do to further your cause. I love what you're doing. Keep up the fine work!

[Handwritten] P.S.-- If you ever come to [withheld], let's go to coffee and tell academic S/M jokes!

My situation is sort of unique because I have two basic erotic scenarios and they depend on my hormonal state. When not ovulating, my fantasy life centers on spanking imagery and tends to feature mild humiliation. During ovulation, however, my fantasies gravitate toward the cathartic and pain-oriented scenarios which do not involve humiliation, and witch feature whipping rather than spanking.

I have spent literally hours self-analyzing this phenomenon and I'm not at all sure yet that I have any sort of handle on it.

I'm most comfortable with the "switch" orientation. During most of my life I considered myself a masochist, since I do not get a direct erotic charge from topping another person. However, I have had dream-orgasms as a top, so the energy is definitely there, though repressed (probably via social guilt). As I've begun to actively play more, I've discovered that I get a distinct "power high" from topping. It's more subtle than the feelings I experience when submitting, so I had overlooked it in myself.

When I masturbate to an S/M fantasy it is the whole scene that gets me off, not merely one perspective (dominant/submissive). I'm there in both parts. It's just that I have a lot of social conditioning helping me to access my pleasure as a submissive... less cultural approval to draw on concerning my desire to dominate.

I'll break the two fantasies down for you so you can see what their archetypal components are:

#1 (NON-OVULATION) (about 3 weeks of the month) Someone (often myself, but not always) is going to be spanked for a real or imagined transgression. Sometimes the person being spanked is an adolescent, sometimes an adult. The victim can be male or female (female is slightly more common). The punisher can be either male of female (male slightly more common). The setting & context & rationale for the punishment varies from contemporary time to nearly any time in past history and ahead into science fiction. Often (though not always) some instrument is used. Paddle, switch, ruler, hairbrush, strap, etc. is typically employed. There is usually a lengthy build-up to the actual act of spanking during which the victim is told verbally that he/she is going to be spanked, how and why. This verbal threatening is very erotically charged. I'm not really sure why I don't feel like coding this as "humiliation"... but it seems not to gloss that way. At this point, I have to trust my own internal report and simply not call it "humiliation" (I hope you psych. people will follow your own prescription and refrain from stuffing it into that category so as to have a neat, tidy closure in the data.) The fantasy is highly visual and features buttock-fetish stuff of a pretty ordinary sort, viz., the victim being placed across the punisher's knee, bent over furniture, etc. My absolute favorite version of this riff has the punishment being dealt out in successive degrees of severity working down through the clothing one layer at a time to bare skin. Anticipation is a huge part of the erotic content.

The attitudes on display are: Punisher-- loving regret/firm resolve. The person administering the spanking is seen as a sympathetic character who is trying to teach the other person important limits or rules. The punisher is not a bully or villain, but someone worthy of respect. Victim-- trance-like acquiescence. The victim usually does not struggle or resist the punishment, but is resigned to it.

As nearly as I can determine from self-analysis, I have eroticized spanking as a result of having been parented by a post-war non-violent "permissive" parent who was (coincidentally) emotionally unavailable and sometimes emotionally abusive to me. I unconsciously equated those missing behaviors (spanking and emotional availability) and endowed them with tremendous erotic power. Ok, psych. buddies... what do you think is going on here?

#2 (Cathartic whipping fantasy which occurs at ovulation)

A person (often but not always myself) is about to be whipped or flogged by an agent of an impersonal, monolithic (and often evil) power or institution for a transgression or act of rebellion. Unlike the spanking fantasy, the victim is as likely to be male as female. The punisher is also variable. This is a straight "hero" fantasy. The attitude of the victim is one of defiance and his/her task is to provoke the torturer and to endure the beating with as much dignity and bravery as possible. A whip, switch, cat, rope, etc. is used. The victim is struck across the back and shoulders while in standing bondage (sometimes also whipped on the buttocks). Often the fantasy is quasi-military in nature and features the reading of the sentence (a finite number of strokes to be given) and work all the way through this fantasy attempting to imagine or "feel" each individual stroke (or to deliver each one if embodying the wipper's perspective, or if watching the scene as a voyeur. An important part of this fantasy (which, by the way, is not overtly erotic or orgasmic, but highly intense) is the subsequent nurturing of the victim by a sympathetic friend or over after the conclusion of the beating. There's also a salient component of "showing off" for a friend or lover...demonstrating one's bravery and courage.

ABOUT ACTING OUT THE FANTASIES:

I've done a few spanking scenes with lovers, not many. As I said, I don't get aroused by spanking someone, but I do enjoy it...it's fun. As a submissive, when I'm not ovulating I get turned on by light spanking done as part of making love. When ovulating I often crave pain and can take a good deal of it without registering it as "pain". From the bottom space while ovulating, I tend to push tops harder than many of them want to go. I've only been hit hard enough to suite me two or three times (and those were disastrous because it made horrendous marks and frightened the tops (who, incidentally, were feminist males who didn't take easily to the role at the level of their values...only at the level of their eros.)

Well...there it is. Have fun.

Question: What were your earliest "unusual" thoughts at age 8?

After thinking about what i wrote, I remembered that it was earlier than eight. It was somewhere around four or five. I had a "permissive" parent who was a post-war humanistic psychologist. She never spanked me. But I was deposited in a day care center which was run on the traditional model. My mom had an understanding with the director of the center whereby I was "timed-out" or isolated rather than spanked. But all the other kids were spanked all the time, often in dramatic and somewhat ritualistic circumstances, while I was never touched. My mom was a busy single-parent graduate student. I missed her a lot. I thought the spankings the other kids were getting looked like a lot of fun and I never got to join in the games of daring and testing authority because it wasn't even much of a risk for me. Also, we had our own little sexual experimentation subculture in the day care. It was co- ed and we went to the toilet in matched pairs...boys and girls. But it was strictly forbidden to expose our genitals to one another when not in the bathroom. This notion of ritual privacy (with the double-bind circumstances of it being "ok" if you're taking a piss) got smushed together with my "special- ness" regarding spanking and it became overdetermined for me. I think it was about that time that I tried beating some cats in the rooming house where we lived. One of the other boarders suspected that I was doing it and dropped "hints" that he knew, so I felt terribly guilty and stopped. I had sexual feelings while whipping the cats and I got off on watching the other kids at day care being spanked. It went on from there into elaborate fantasies which build throughout my childhood & adolescence until today.

Question: If you were to try to explain to a "straight" person about the unusual, and what you got out of it, what would you say?

The most fun I can think of to answer this question is to imagine what I would say to any number of local feminist friends and colleagues to whom I ma not "out" about SM. The debate is about those "dangerous images" and how, while it's not "sick", "bad" or "wrong" for us to get off on images of pain and personal violence, it is our political responsibility to keep quiet about our "unusual" proclivities so as not to insult other women who have been the victims of rape or battering. Well I've been molested as a teen ager and have occasionally been punched out or hit in contexts when it certainly was NOT erotic. And while I ma solidly on the side of anti-rape legis- lation, etc. I believe that feminism is NOT about telling other women that I know better than they do how to organize any aspect of their sexuality and reproduction. I don't want to have the power to "criminalize" any other women's sexuality...and I damned sure don't want other women (or men!) telling me how to run mine. As a feminist, I trust other women and take them seriously about their private lives. I expect the same.

I would tell them that S/M sex involves the expectation that one must remain "alive and awake" to one's lover's responses in lovemaking. It's that extra quality of conscious attention, as well as the actual sensations and images, that eroticizes S/M for me. I would try to connect my experience to some experience they might have had, for instance, the urge to bite or be bitten at the height or passion. A question of degree, not really of kind.

Question: You mention that you are bisexual, but that all or your SM experiences have been with "feminist" type men. Have you had SM type experience with Women. Do you think it would be easier for you to be a top with a woman than with a man?

No, it isn't easier for me to be a top with women. It really depends on the person. It's so easy for me to go into "mother" mode with women...to become protective rather than coercive. My friends and I have joked about why I can't seem to get off on "puppy-girls"...soft, sweet women who want to worship me. I'm terrified of topping somebody who hasn't got enough self- concept to know who they want to be topped. If the snap and crackle of strong intentionally isn't there, I just can't get excited about topping. But my present lover is very different,. She's been in the scene for many years and can move so smoothly among the different possibilities in active/passive role- playing that she makes me feel both confidant and comfortable. I think it might be easier for me to be topped by women. Actually, since getting involved with [an SM support group] about six months ago, I've begun t gravitate away from male S/M partners and more toward women.

What does "feminism" have to do with it? Ah, I don't know...maybe it has to do with the fact that I don't respond sexually to "slave/master" scenarios where the top has all the intentionally. I like it to be a blend...an exchange of energy...a collaboration in an artform, not some act being perpetrated on a body which might as well be dead or a zombie.

#021-483, white male, 33, some college, married, significant other knows of his interests, a youngest child, no religious training, no religious beliefs, politically conservative, sometimes depressed for over a week, sometimes feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends with SM interests, was introduced to SM at the age of 11, tries to meet others through ads and at SM bars, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a lifestyle, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is usually homosexual, submissive, 20/50, humiliation oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, believes that he was both sexually and emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand- written.

A lot has to be said for the early abuse I took and how years later I'm still in control of my faculties. The only physical problem that has stayed with me through the years is my incontinence at bedtime. All the mental wounds have been turned from the negative to the positive. What was physical & mental abuse is now a turn-on in retrospect and even in my relationships now. I certainly don't look on my "kinky" side as being a liability. I am not depraved or mentally impaired because of my sisters actions or those of her "friends".

I went to live with Kathy when I was almost 6 and within a few weeks I was [unreadable] I was treated differently by her. We lived in a small town north of [name withheld], Fla, -- a town of about 2,000 people where every body knows every body and everyone knew that Kathy was the town "whore". I guess every town has one. We lived in a small wood frame house of 2 rooms on the "other" side of the tracks. Kathy "worked" for the sheriff who owned the town & county. It hasn't changed to this day. The unusual activity of men coming & going at all hours of the night was hard to get used to but I was pleased in my room to sleep with only a thin wall between me and her bed and activities. I could clearly hear all the talk and moans & groans of her turning her "tricks". Afterward she would make me crawl in bed with her and we would sleep together. We never did have intercourse but she would make me lick her vaginal area. What I remembered most was she would always wear a pair of white nylon panties under her white nightgown and I would be told to suck her Crotch through her panties. The strong smell was, as I learned later, a combination of her juices & the various mens Sperm. She never frenched me and would always say that men loved her because she was always so wet. Those early years were always [unreadable] that with me sucking her vulva.-- most always through her panties. Also what I remember most was her calling me her sister. I was born with Herman as my name but she always called me abby and even to this day everyone calls me Abby. I guess She wanted a real sister or daughter for within a few months of my staying with her she bought me a nightee & panty set "little girls longerie" and I always wore these around the house. I always wanted to go out and play with the other kids but every day after school she made me come straight home and "dress up" Then she taught me how to cook and clean house So outside activity & sports were curtailed while I "played house". I did it but it was years before it became a "turn on" for me-- I was just a kid. All this activity went on until I was eleven. --Thats when the abuse started and the rape and molesting began. I lived with her until I was 19. and for almost 8 years I was molested by men friends of hers. However all this time we never did have intercourse. She was satisfied that my mouth was making her happy and those I licked. She would call me her "little Lesbian Sister" although I was taller and bigger than her. we still slept together. She was the only woman I had ever "Known". By the time I was 19 and left home though I had dozzens & dozzens of homosexual sexual encounters. At the beginning, the first few years, maybe between 11-13 I was forced but after that I gladly participated in sexual activities. Almost everything was done to me or I did to others. About the beginning age 11-13 I have tried to forget most of it and will not go into much detail here. I will say I hope no one ever has to endure those beginnings of homosexual relationships like I had to.

Until then (11) I had no homosexual happenings but my sister, Kathy, was becoming more & more in debt to men in power for drugs then eventually a deal was made for her to have me go with a man for an evening. He took me to his house where he make me dress in my lingerie for him & he fondled me & made me fondle him. He introduced me to fellatio & anal sex but not before he tied me to his bed. I was frightened & screaming so he gagged me & continued. --All night until he had had his fill. I was so scared I wet myself and when he took me home Kathy had to comfort me and put me to bed. I wet the bed again & all that week. She bought some diapers & rubber panties and I wore them every night. [unreadable] under my regular panties & nightgown needless to say after that episode word was passed around that I sucked and men-- maybe 1-2 a week very discretly asked for my services. It helped pay for her habit. She was getting 7-10- 15.00 for her tricks and they were giving 20.00 for me. I lost all my trust in her But even so those nights of me cradled in her arms on sucking on her panty crotch with me all diapered and rubber pantied were so comforting As compared to the Sexual rapes I had endured. After a couple of years though I began to be a lot more docile and would accomodate the men in whatever they wanted. The B&D was growing in me and then as bad as I hated wearing the diapers there were times when the men would urinate on me and i would find it erotic. I still to this day have to wear diapers at night but it is not an erotic thing. I so love the rubber panties without the diapers.

When I become nineteen a man came along and offered the men Kathy worked for a lot of money to have me go with him and become his houseboy & slave. I saw it as an opportunity to "get away". Kathy had become such an addict & emotionally insecure that I knew it was a matter of time before something bad happened to her. She was caught bight after I left for transporting young girls across state lines for the purpose of Prostitution-- white Slavery. I lived with my "master" for four years and did everything sexually with B&D SM, golden showers, T.V., water sports and it was he who introduced me to toilet slavery and I was his toilet for all of those four years.

I got my freedom from him. Later married a girl-- a former friend of Kathys-- who was like her and who knew who & what I was. We have one year relationship, no sex between us, it works great. Well thats basically my story hopefully to your satisfaction. I've enclosed a description of what I like to wear to "get off" also a photo that shows something of myself. I'm not effiminate but in spite of my masculinity i do wear womens underware and only my age has deminished the youth & feminine side of myself. Also I would like a follow-up on your work book & research because I find it interesting and I believe helpful for people like myself who have enclosed so much to show someone cares enough to do research on the Kinky or underground activity that more of us have done would admit.

[Enclosed was a photograph of a man wearing bra and see- through plastic panties sitting on a towel which had printed on it "Im a faggot queer".]

#022-251, white male, 26, high school graduate, never married, does not have a significant other, a youngest child, no religious training, no religious beliefs, no political views, rarely depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has no friends with SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 12, has not used the services of a professional, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is bisexual, submissive, 5/24, pain oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was sexually abused but does believe that he was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

My ideal fantasy is being caught by an authoritative female for some misdemeanor. She could be a superior, employer, instructor, or perhaps some one who would be in a position to blackmail me. She would offer me a choice of firing, reporting, expelling, exposing me or being spanked by her and maybe some of her female friends. After some discussion, I reluctantly accept the spanking, pull down my pants and shorts, and receive a long lecture on my behavior. At this point, I lay over her lap and she verbally chastises me about being treated "just like a naughty, little boy, with his naughty bare bottom sticking up in the air for a good sound spanking" If there is another female present, she also comments about my position. The lady whose lap I'm lying over gives me my "well deserved" spanking, using her hand all over my bottom. Thru out the whole spanking both women comment about how red my bottom is getting, how I better learn to behave, this is a long overdue spanking, etc. I then go over to the other lady and ask her to spank "my naught bare bottom. When she is thru spanking me I then go stand in the corner with my bare bottom on display for anyone to see and comment about. I am finally allowed out of the corner, receive a few reminder wacks with a hair brush or paddle and then pull up my shorts & pants.

In some cases, sexual servitude is required but not necessarily.

Ive come close to this fantasy once with my current girl friend (one female only) but she didn't spank very hard.

#023-271, white male, 40, post graduate, married, significant other knows of his interests, an only child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically conservative, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, unsure if he has friends who have SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 15, tries to meet by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, versatile, 1/17, pain oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Computer printout.

My favorite fantasy involves me and a girl, most often my wife. Of course we are not married in the fantasy, and are teenagers. We alone, perhaps on her room or the garage, petting and kissing, and as things are getting "serious", her older sister walks in, and is shocked at us. She at first threatens to tell their mother, and we know that will be bad. After some pleading on our parts, she agrees to not tell, if we let her punish us herself. After we agree, she finds a heavy belt or a paddle, and pulls my "girlfriend" across her lap, lifts her skirt, and pulls down her panties. Then, as I watch, she really gives her a stern spanking. I'm turned on my watching the girl kick and struggle, and by seeing her bare thighs and buttocks. Also, I realize I am next! After letting her up she calls me over, and takes my pants down, and pulls me across her lap. Her dress has come up, and the feel of lying across her thighs is very erotic. Then she blisters my butt, and I know my girlfriend is watching me get it. While it hurts and stings, I feel myself becoming very aroused. After the sister leaves, we make love.

#024-264, white male, 38, college graduate, divorced, significant other knows of his interests, an oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends who have SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at about age 5, introduces others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, versatile, 2/11, humiliation oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was sexually abused, but does believe that he was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand- written.

Look, I want to ask you a question. But first I have to tell you what happened recently, and then you'll understand the question. The following isn't a fantasy. When I was in college I had a brief affair with a girl, which involved very minor restraint, that is, I'd tie her arms behind her back and we'd have sex and I'd hold her afterwards and we both enjoyed it. Recently I ran into her and we started seeing each other again. I'm fairly heavily into SM, but I can function without it, and I like her, so I was happy to see her and have "regular sex". She told me that she was a "one cum per night" woman and I shouldn't feel like I had to get her to have multiple orgasms. Fine. She asked me on our second date if I was still into kinky sex, and I said yes, and we left it at that. I called her for arraignments for our fifth date and she started calling me "Master". I took this as a not to subtle hint that she wanted to play. We arranged for her to come over to my place and then we'd go out to dinner. She showed up and we went to the backyard and sat and talked and had a drink and everything was just fine. I was trying to think of how to go about playing a game with her, since I knew that she really wasn't experi- enced in the scene, and I didn't want to freak her out. After about an hour I casually said that there were two different ways we could go about playing. She could be the "girlfriend who wants to try some kinky sex", or she could be "the naughty girl who was sent to me for discipline". I told her they were both mild, but the naughty girl scene would be a little stronger and would involve me talking down to her and degrading her. She said, "That sounds interesting". I told her, in my dominant voice, to go into the house and strip and stand with her feet about eight inches apart and her hands stretched over her head and wait for me. She got up and went inside. I sat for a minute, and then went inside and there she was, just as I told her to be. She was breathing heavily, and I casually walked around her, looking and patting and rubbing. I told her to make sure to keep her arms stretched, which was sort of self bondage, if you know what I mean. I gently placed my hand between her parted legs and she was dripping wet. Much wetter than when we just had intercourse. I mentioned this to her and she got embarrassed, which was the point. I was fairly gentle with her, giving her a "sexy" spanking and using a vibrator on her clit and inserting the handle of a tooth brush up her bottom. She had two orgasm, and we went out to dinner, and then came back and continued playing, and she had three more comes.

We saw each other the next week and she had another five comes in four hours with our SM games. The next week we were walking home from dinner and she said something and I said "well, I guess I'll have to spank you went we get back", and she said, "Why wait"? It was late evening and there wasn't anyone out on the street, and I asked her if she really wanted to be spanked outside. She said yes, that it would "give that man over there a thrill". I looked and saw a man standing in a parking lot looking in our direction. I bent her over and gave her five or six fairly hard spanks, and had her get upright. We took hands and she squeezed mine, and seemed very turned on, and we had more sex at my place, and she had about four orgasms that night.

The next time I called to set up a date she said she wanted to see me, but didn't want any SM. I asked her if having four or five orgasms a night (for a woman who told me she was a one cum per night type) wasn't enough-- She said she liked SM, but had guilt feelings about enjoying that kind of sex, and that she wasn't brought up to be that kind of girl, and she didn't want to do it any more. I decided that I didn't want my head played with, and so we parted company.

Now for my question. What did I do wrong. I never did anything she didn't want, she came all over the place, I didn't seduce her into SM, she asked me, and she even got so into it as to want to be "spanked" outdoors where others could see. I feel like I did something wrong to turn her off, but I know I didn't. How could someone who was having so much fun, just tell herself that she wasn't going to have that kind of fun anymore? Maybe she is a real masochist and wants to have a less thrilling sex life, which is more satisfying than playing at being punished? What do you think?

#025-300, white male, 48, post graduate, married, significant other knows of his interests, an oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically conservative, never depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, not sure if he has friends who have SM interests, first recognized at age 14, tries to meet others through ads, has used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, usually submissive, 4/12, humiliation oriented, does not know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, feels he has a wide range of fantasies. Typed.

As you can see from the form, I am both dominant and submissive. Accordingly, my fantasies are both as well, although generally a reversal of each other. My most fully realized, and favorite, fantasy is the following.

I am a boy returning home from school. My mother is waiting there for me, and is quite angry. The minute I walk in the door, she grabs me, and pulls me over to a chair, where she sits down with me standing in front of her. While I am standing there, she takes down my pants and underpants, and tells me that she is really angry and that I am going to be spanked. She emphasizes that she is really going to give me a hard one.

As quickly as possible, I am turned over her knee. Once I am lying bare-bottomed over her knee, she tells me what I have done to deserve the spanking. The reason is immaterial. She then proceeds to spank me with her hand for a while as a prelude to the main event. Once she has warmed me up with her hand, she proceeds to give me a long, hard spanking with the back of a wooden hair brush. This continues for sometime, the amount at her decoration. After I have been given a good dose of the hair brush, or something similar, and spanked with a doubled over belt. If I am not crying already, this part of the spanking continues until I am. Once I am crying good and hard, I am made to stand in a corner until I stop crying. While I am in the corner, I am scolded, and told repeatedly that "she is not done with me yet". The lecture is punctuated with a few swats with her hand.

After I stop crying, I am taken back over mother's knee for a second hand spanking. This one is very hard, and continues until I am again crying.

As to realizing this fantasy, sadly, I have not really come close. I have experienced various elements of it, but not in the same session. Also, to my disappointment, I have never found a woman who was able to spank hard enough to make me really cry, although I have had one come close.

The corresponding dominant fantasy, of course, would be for me to be the angry father, spanking a naughty little girl.

I have enclosed a return envelope for the follow-up questions, as you requested. In addition, I would be most interested in learning the eventual results of your survey.

#026-100, white female, 33, college graduate, divorced, does not have a significant other, neither the youngest nor oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically liberal, rarely depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes hers are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 13, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a lifestyle, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, versatile, 1/1, pain oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was sexually abused but does believe that she was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

My Current Fantasy

In this fantasy, I am a boy-- 16-18 years old. My Dad told me if I was late getting home, I'd get a whippin! I am late-- but I was with my friends--- I wasn't driving. But I know Dad won't accept that excise. He's told me before that if they aren't dependable, I shouldn't go with them, or else pay the consequences.

I get home about 30 minutes late-- and Mom & Dad are watching T.V. Dad looks up and says, "Brent," and puts his hand on the footstool close to him. I hang my jacket up in the closet-- and go sit on the footstool.. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get whipped.... but maybe I'll luck out.

A minute or so later, a commercial comes on-- and Dad says-- "Do you have an excuse?" I try to explain. I told Jeff I had to be home....they get to stay out later...."

He says-- "In the kitchen..."-- so we go out to the kitchen. Normally, I'd probably have to go to my room, but my brothers & sisters are sleeping. He tells me to take my jeans down-- and he gets the belt. He makes me bend over-- and I get about 20 smacks with the belt. I cry.

Afterwards, we talk a little-- mostly to tell me I better start getting home on time.

I have never acted out any of my fantasies-- but I'd like to try it--

I am a female-- but like to imagine myself as a guy-- (in my fantasies)--

I would like to be dominated and disciplined by a guy-- and spanked really hard no matter what I say-- or how much I resist.

I'd like to act the part of a son in a father/son relationship. I don't want to be shown mercy-- or treated different because I am a girl.

I've only had one experience with spanking and sex--

It was disappointing, because my partner didn't spank me hard or long-- I want to be spanked hard and long-- no matter how I act! I want to resist-- but be dominated and controlled!

In my fantasy, I am Brent-- a guy I know in real life-- he is 23, but I imagine him to be 17 or 18. I try to imagine what his Dad would be like-- & try to make my fantasy as realistic as possible.

--------------------

As a child, I saw my Dad beat my only brother-- but he never beat us 3 girls. I think I felt guilty.....& wondered why I didn't get beat too.

My mother used emotional cruelty as punishment-- & she only hugged us after had smacked us. I felt like I only got a hug when I was crying.....

My brother was beat for stupid reasons-- not because he deserved it-- As a child-- I knew it was wrong-- & I wanted to stop it-- but I couldn't.

In my fantasies, the son does deserve the punishment and it is a spanking-- and NOT a beating. And then the father talks to the son-- & there is understanding & love.

My fantasies have been this way since I was 8 or 9. I think they stem from my bother & Dad-- & also because I associate crying with affection--

You get smacked & cry-- & then you get a hug-- My sisters also like to be spanked & dominated.

Question: What were your earliest "unusual" thoughts at age 13?

My earliest "unusual" thoughts were the stories I made up in my mind. They involved a "good' family. I imagined myself in all of the roles. The family consisted of a mother and father who were warm and loving- but firm and strict. The children were usually all boys, with one or two girls. The plot usually involved on of the boys getting a spanking that he deserved- from the mother or father. Before the age of 12, I dreamed that my father held my brother down, and was going to cut off his penis! The dream was an awful nightmare that I've never forgotten. To my knowledge, my Dad never did anything sexually abusing to my brother.

I consider this dream "unusual"- & probably a "subconscious thought" on my part.

Question: If you were to try to explain to a "straight" person about the unusual, and what you got out of it, what would you say?

I would tell a "straight" person that my fantasies are a result of my crummy childhood. Maybe I use my fantasy so that I can relate to others, and feel more normal, and more loved. I often engage in physical horseplay and fighting-- but only in fun. To me, that is a prerequisite to affection. That also comes from my childhood. We only received hugs and kisses after we had been smacked or spanked, or verbally abused. (But out of anger [not out of love, see below])

To explain further, I'd say I have a need to relieve my childhood- and in my fantasies, the discipline is firm and strict, but deserved and justified- and given out of love. I have to play the role of a boy- probably because my brother went through the worst of our childhood experiences. I have only one brother, who is one year older than me. He and I have a very special bond- that time and distance cannot affect- We are always close- even with no contact. I've always had this relationship with him. As a child, he was often beat and abused- & I felt worse than if it had happened to me.

In my fantasies, I correct all that was wrong in my childhood.-and there is strictness, surrounded by love and fairness- which equals security to me. Security is my most important objective in live...... my fantasy adds to my security-

Question: Please complete the following fantasies in as much detail as possible. (A) You are playing strip poker with three other people, with the losers becoming the sex slave of the winner for the evening. Everyone is down to just one article of clothing. What happens?

I would want the winner to be a young man- 23 years old- tall, firm, brown hair, brown eyes-

and I would be the loser. He would take me into a bedroom for the remainder of the evening. He would be strict and bossy- and rough- and smack me when I don't mind.

We could laugh and have fun- and he'd be gentle and kind at times- and then revert to the role of master and disciplinarian. He would give me orders- and I'd purposely disobey- and end up getting spanked! I'd get several spankings before the night was over Sometimes he'd hold me down- and spank me. But mostly, he'd put me over his knee and spank me long and hard with his hand- and not stop when I beg him to- and not stop when I cry. He wouldn't apologize- but say- "Next time, you'll do what I say, won't you?" If I say no, I get another spanking- longer and harder. He'd also use a hair brush- and his belt

Question: (B) You are at a slave auction. Are you buying or are you being bought. Who do you buy or who purchases you?

I would be bought- by a man- and I'd fantasize all the same as above in part A.

#027-561, white male, 25, high school grad, married, significant other knows of his interests, an only child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends who have SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 14, tries to meet by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM sometimes helps him achieve orgasm, is a usually heterosexual, versatile, 1/20, humiliation oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand- written.

I have two basic fantasies that could be considered S. & M. oriented. The first one deals with me in the submissive part with two dominating women. They are both dressed in black leather. They are having a contest to see which of them can get the most come from me during a several hour period. After the first few orgasms things become a little more difficult. When I don't feel that I can become any more one of them ties my arms over my head. The other shoves a dildo in and out of my rectum. This massages my prostate and eventually I orgasm. one pumps my penis and the other keeps the dildo going. I orgasm once more and finally pass out.

The other one involves my wife and I making another woman our slave. We make her serve our every whim from liking out anus and genitals to serving as our toilets. We tie her down and shove dildoes and vibrators into her different openings as we beat her with a belt. We continue to use her until we all fall asleep from exhaustion.

The first one is still a fantasy, but the second one really happened to us a few years ago.

I would like to help you with your study, so you may send me more questions to answer. Thank you very much.

Question: Please tell me what your earliest unusual thoughts (at age 14) were.

They mostly delt with the idea of placing women in different positions tied with leather restraints and performing various sex acts with them.

Question: How did you let your wife know about your unusual interests?

Shortly after we were married, we were fooling around on night when she knocked a lamp off of the night stand next to the bed by accident. She then said "K guess I've been a bad girl, what would you do with a bad girl? I picked up on her cue and told her she needed a good spanking., She said " guess you're right.' I made her take off her nightgown and bend over my lap. I started spanking her lightly at first. As I saw she got into it, I slapped harder. After about 25 strokes she shivered in orgasm.

Question: Please tell me in detail how you and your wife enslaved the woman you mentioned in you letter. Did you introduce her to the scene? How did you go about it? How did you set limits, if any?

She was a neighbor at one time. She had become a good friend of my wife and they used to sit around and talk about everything. One time the subject of sex came up and she confessed to my wife that her life was dull and not to exciting. My wife told her about some of the things we had do and she became very interested. That night in bed my wife and I talked about what she and her friend had talked about. She told me that her friend had always wanted to have a strong man use her but that her husband was not like that and i thought that it might be fun to see if she was receptive to our idea. We made a plan to wait until the weekend as her husband was going out of town for a week. The weekend came and this friend was at our house. Her and my wife were talking in the kitchen and I was out mowing the lawn. When I cam in the house I told my wife to get me some iced tea. She said get it yourself. The friend who always liked to tease anyway said "Ya, get it yourself lazy". I told my wife that I could take both of them on and whip both of them. The friend told me that I couldn't do it. I grabbed her, sat down on a chair, and proceeded to spank her with my hand. That seemed to start things. She told me to quit, and I pinched her breast. She looked at my wife and said "God, it's just like you said it was.". It was like she just kind of melted. It just grew from that. During the next two years, whenever we could get together, we would have a session. She learned to service both my wife and me during that time. The only limits we had were there could be no marks, and not to do any real damage.

#028-784, white male, 33, college graduate, never married, no significant other, neither the youngest nor the oldest child, strict religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, sometimes depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, unsure if he has friends who have SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at about age 12.5, tries to meet others through ads, has not used the services of a professional, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is homosexual, versatile, 2/2, humiliation oriented, does not know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was sexually abused but does believe that he was emotionally abused as a child, one main fantasy. Hand-written.

My bondage fantasies focus on little or no pain. First of all I am a gay male. I fantasize about giving pleasure-- so much so that my "victim" can't control what I am doing to him.

I fantasize about having this man tied down spread eagle, while I slowly stroke, tickle and arouse this person. The closest I come to torture, is to do uncontrolled tickling. I also enjoy being the "victim".

I do not enjoy pain, or something that will do bodily harm.

I do enjoy complete domination-- either over myself-- or me over someone.

#029-783a, white male, 39, post graduate, married, significant other knows of his interests, neither the oldest nor youngest child, some religious training, strong religious beliefs, politically moderate, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 12, tries to meet others through ads, has used the services of a professional, views SM as a lifestyle, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is bisexual, versatile, 1/120, pain oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

Dear Researcher,

I am responding to your survey. I hope this isn't too much of a response, but I happen to agree very much with your stated premises and would like to assist you in any way I can.

Many of my answers to your questions seem possibly misleading, but I have resisted the urge to write a paragraph on each explaining what I meant. In answer to #40, I am sending you a story I wrote which was published more or less intact in --.

Because of its length, it cannot represent a single session. I have actually lived out very little of it -- I have never been a slave to lesbian lovers; I have been the slave of two dominatrices simultaneously only when my wife and I have partied with another woman or couple for an evening or when Karla and I have involved a professional dominatrix in our play.

Hooded, shackled, whipped, bound, verbally and physically humiliated and the recipient of golden showers -- all these I have experienced. But I have never been branded, forced to ride long distances in a vehicle while hooded and bound or ever dug my own grave. I have been hung by the neck on five occasions, once almost terminally, and so Karla and I have been sobered and now act out my strangulation fantasies in a more cautious manner.

I would be happy to expand on any of this if you are interested, an more than glad to participate in your follow up study.

Question: What were your earliest SM/B&D thoughts at age 12?

My earliest SM/B&D thoughts came right at puberty; when I first began to notice girls I would fantasize about them (and me also) wearing black leather motorcycle jackets, tying me up, humiliating me in public and making me serve them (as a butler, not sexually) while I was handcuffed or restrained in some manner. I also fantasized almost from day one of being crucified in leather (i.e. fastened to the cross by a tight leather jumpsuit which fit tightly about both myself and the wooden beams to which I was attached. I never saw that as fatal or uncomfortable but just as total confinement. From the beginning I also fantasized of being hung by the neck, and that I thought of as fatal, although no less arousing.

Question: If you were to try to explain to a "straight" person about the unusual, and what you got out of it, what would you say?

I don't know that I'd try to communicate to a straight person what I get out of the scene. You have the complete and undivided attention of the top; it's just a much more intense psychological communion between partners than conventional petting, foreplay and sex. But "if you haven't been there, the words don't make much sense."

In addition, sex takes longer which I count as a good thing. Karla and I usually take about 2 hours; the build-up is slow but inexorable and delightful. I want to spend more than a few minutes being intimate with her and she feels the same way.

But why SM/B&D specifically? I don't know; it is something I very much crave although I don't know why.

Question: Were you spanked as a child, or have you ever witnessed another child being spanked?

Yes, I was spanked as a child, but never severely and not on many occasions. I really don't believe that is in any way connected to my masochism.

Question: Why do you think you have your particular sexual interests?

I honestly don't know. I was accelerated in elementary school taking grades 1 to 5 in three years; as a result I was always three years younger than my classmates and for much of my elementary and secondary school years was rejected and ignored by them. It didn't help that I nonetheless out achieved everyone else academically by miles. As a result my major occupation in those years was trying to win social acceptance. The boys I envied were the ones the girls found interesting-- they were ones in the black leather jackets in the late 50's and early 60's. And the girls in my fantasies who tied me up and humiliated me at least were dealing with me, focusing on me. This may not really [be] an answer but it is the best I can offer.

Question: Have you been generally pleased with the professionals you have used? How do you go about meeting them? How is it decided what will transpire (i.e., how are limits set?) How are fees set?

Karla and I have been pleased with the professionals we have dealt with. We have made contact via ads in the usual contact tabloids and magazines; before meeting with them we correspond and/or talk on the phone. Usually the initial response from the pro is one of disbelief; clearly their market is of single males and dealing with a couple is rare. We ascertain her fee at that stage. We will tell her what we do by ourselves but assure her we are open to new ideas and in fact would prefer to try new experiences. We encourage her to orchestrate the session; Karla and I follow her lead. It has always worked well so far. We do not set specific limits; Karla knows me well and can tell if things are getting out of hand at which point she will slow of stop the action. In every case the pro has been readily amenable to such an arrangement.

In may ways the sessions with a professional dominatrix are superior to those with other couples. The cost isn't really very different; with a couple you need to rent a motel room (we have young kids and therefore aren't free to have sessions in our own home very often) and probably have dinner together as an icebreaker. With a pro you don't spend a lot of time worrying about the other couple's needs and head space; she's there for your benefit so the session is more immediate and more intense.

Question: Could you please give more information about your 'smothering" interests. What does it feel like? What is the attraction-- danger, or a physical feeling, or??

I don't think of my interest as smothering. To me that implies an inability to breathe, which isn't particularly a turn- on.

Originally, in my fantasies before I tried any experiments in real life, hanging was the ultimate exercise in power. I would see myself standing on the trapdoor bound and helpless with a noose around my neck. My mistress controlled my life totally. The rope was always taut; There was absolutely no slack. That meant that when the trap door opened I didn't fall and break my neck-- rather I would strangle slowly knowing my life was in my mistress's hands and perhaps who would save me or perhaps she wouldn't. I had given her the ultimate power over me, and therein was the thrill.

I convinced Karla to try it on me just the way I had ritualized it in my fantasies. The first time it worked perfectly; I was in full leathers and totally bound on a footstool and after appropriate foreplay she pulled the stool away. I ejaculated on the spot. I recall the stool going and the great pressure at my neck for perhaps one second; no more. Thus an important part of my fantasy, dangling there wondering what my fate would be, wasn't borne out in reality.

But I discovered something I hadn't counted on; an incredibly pleasant euphoric state as I came to once again. It was like I was floating somewhere, completely free, unstressed, under no pressure, in a warm and pleasurable haze like you feel right after orgasm, but much magnified. I was hooked; I wanted to do it again and again.

The next time we did it was rather frightening. At first the hanging went fine but then Karla couldn't get me down after the 20 seconds or so of suspension we had agreed upon. Perhaps three minutes went by before she could retrieve a butcher knife and cut me down. The return to consciousness was a pleasant [as] before, but after that we took more precautions.

Now she doesn't actually suspend me in the air but rather I am bound on the ground, she puts the noose around my neck and pulls my head up using a pulley system. My full weight isn't born by the rope but enough is to cause loss of consciousness; The return is just as pleasurable this way as it was when I was totally suspended.

So that's it. I've never met anyone else who shared my interest in strangulation, but there were articles about it in the early copies of Variations [a sex fantasy magazine], so there are others somewhere who are interested in the topic. Someone told me the magazines now exercise self-censorship and just don't publish anything on "dangerous" sex-games any more.

Finally I suppose I should point out that, despite getting great jollies from contemplating my own execution, I am in no way suicidal and have no wish to die. Fantasies are fantasies and death is for make-believe; I certainly want to enjoy life and all our unusual sex games for a long time yet.

[Note: Kraft-Ebbing, and early sexologist, wrote about a prostitute who was charged with murder. A customer wanted her to hang him, and she reluctantly agreed. Unfortunately, he died. The woman was acquitted.]

[Accompanying the follow-up questionnaire was this from his wife, Karla:] #030- 140, white female, 39, post graduate, married, significant other knows of her interests, neither the youngest nor oldest child, some religious training, strong religious beliefs, politically liberal, rarely depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends who have SM interests, was introduced to SM at about age 30, has used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, does not believe SM helps her achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, dominant, 1/120, pain oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has one main fantasy. Hand- written.

Question: Was Robert the person who first introduced you to "the unusual"? What did you think about the subject, both before and after your introduction?

Robert was the person who introduce me to the scene. At first I was concerned about the inpersionalization of the scene. How one dressed mattered more than who one was. Image was all. This is still a concern but I have learned to deal with it. Some of the imagery is negative and violent and seems to be connected to one's view of one's sexual self. I find this silly but I don't if all the psychoanalysis in the world is going to change the need in Robert for this kind of expression, so I largely cater to it or ignore the parts I really can't cope with. This is not a form of sex that I need but I can sometimes enjoy it, especially since he wants me to and I enjoy pleasing him.

Question: Many women, both feminist and non- feminist, have very negative views of SM. What would you say to a woman about your interests?

The are right to be concerned if the act is not between two equals or if one is imposing his/her will upon the other. You have to see the whole relationship in order to put the act in context. I f it is a power trip then it is wrong. If it is desired by one party and the other party complies, or better yet has a corresponding need, then this is perfectly acceptable. It must be mature consenting adults, however, who are in the scene, and not children or people who are in a powerless position. It also should be private of done in the company of others whose needs are similar. It is not correct to portray this type of lovemaking as norm nor to set up an image of acceptability for the masses. Very few need it, want it or can deal with it in a mature way. It may well appeal to some as a power trip and this is an incorrect interpretation which may be foisted on the unaware.

Question: Were their things about "the unusual" which turned you off when you first heard about them, but which now turn you on?

I resented the need for leather costuming initially, but I quite accept it now. I was not happy with the idea of whipping, but now I enjoy it. I didn't like to have chains attached to the bed but now it is the norm. I tell [SM type] stories [to Robert] which are quite elaborate but which first upset me. I strangle Robert the floor now with little revulsion although at first I shook for hours afterwards. I still can't do a hanging scene without getting "hyper", but at least I now feel more in control of the situation then I did initially. We have done some scenes with professionals, and while I am never at ease during the scene, almost always things have gone well and I have learned more about the possibilities. Some things I still loathe and refuse to take part in: I cannot cope, for instance, with "golden showers." Very few of the things we do turn me on personally. Oral sex is what we use to give me an orgasm and none of "the unusual' is necessary for me to achieve satisfaction.

Question: What happens during a "typical" session with Robert? How much do you cater to his likes and dislikes? Do you ever have Robert do things you know he won't like, because you will get turned on by the scene? I asked Robert about the issue of control in SM, and who really has it? What are your thoughts on this subject?

A typical session goes like this:

A. Both put on leathers.

B. He is fastened to the bed-neck, feet, hands.

C. I use a spiked glove to rub over his genitals.

D. Oral sex-- I sit on his face and suck his cock until I come.

E. I put nipple clamps and studded [amulets?] on his chest and lie on them to make them dig in. i put a rope around his neck and pull it tight.

F. I sit on his cock, lean on his chest and tell him humping fantasies.

G. Sometimes the whole session begins when he puts on a straight jacket and I strange him on the floor.

I. If there is time and the house is quiet, we have a whipping session first, but this is rare. We have 2 children.

The whole process takes at least an hours and often longer. We have sex 2-5 times a week, but if one of is really tired, the whole thing doesn't work because it takes a great deal of concentration on both out parts for us both to be satisfied. So much of this is a "head game" that the least little interruption often means failure, especially for Robert.

Question: Have you found that your SM interests either predictable increase or decrease during the course of your menstrual cycle?

I have never checked it. Absence seems to matter more. If we have no sex for 5-6 days both of us are hungry for it.

Question: What is your current or favorite SM fantasy? How did you react to Robert's story [that he initially sent to me. It had to do with a lesbian couple who abused, and ultimately hung him.]

I found Roberts story to be cold and it had a very hard edge to it. However it was a familiar fantasy since I have told him variations of it for years. The core of the story is still his favorite and with embellishments it gets told again and again. My own fantasies are simple and have nothing to do with SM.

Question: Please feel free to discuss any thoughts you have concerning SM, and let me know of any questions you feel I should be addressing.

SM is very deep. Every time I try to "understand" it or intellectualized it I get lost. There is nothing here to resemble a "simple fuck". The Story of O helped me to understand some parts of it, and people in the scene have tried to explain their needs and feelings about it, but I often get lost in the contradictions. I know that I am a good actress and raconteur and a very subtle lover who can tune in to her partners needs very quickly. But all this has a great deal to do with form, and very little to do with substance. I do not know why my love needs this, nor where this need of his will lead us. He is very capable of pushing me too far-- of demanding more than I am willing to give. He seems to be in the throes of "male menopause" where there is nothing like excess and group sex is great. We spend enormous amounts on leathers and contraptions and trips and professionals and none of it satiates. I do not know if this is typical, but it is frightening. He also appears to want to get "caught out" but society. He is becoming less discrete. Is this also part of the pattern? I sometimes feel I cannot trust him. Pictures he took of me in my leathers find their way into all kinds of people's hands although I have told him and told him that pictures of me are not to be seen by anyone but him! God knows what grubby hands are leaving their fingerprints on my pictures. He writes to strange people in my name. It this also part of the scene? I do not know whether this is a reflection of Robert or of the scene but it leaves me very worried. Perhaps this is something you might like to explore-- what are acceptable limits in a relationship of this sort? How do couples establish boundaries? When is enough enough?

#031-31, white male, 33, some college, never married, no significant other, an oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, rarely depressed for over a week, sometimes feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has no friends with SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 13, hasn't tried to meet others, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a lifestyle, believes SM sometimes helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, dominant, 0/0, pain oriented, does not know whether he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

My favorite fantasy is that I am a teacher appointed to instruct the Royal Family of Monaco's children. As time goes on, as does Prince Rainier, I lose patience with both Stephanie and Caroline and get the Prince's permission to discipline them both. Numerous bare bottom over-the-knee spankings occur.

Obviously, I haven't achieved or come close to achieving my fantasy.

#032-306, white female, 36, high school graduate, divorced, no significant other, neither the youngest nor the oldest child, strict religious training, strong religious beliefs, no political views, never depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, introduced to SM by another person at the age of 20, tries to meet by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a lifestyle, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, dominant, 2/10, humiliation oriented, would approve if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand- written.

I own a large home. Downstairs is the kitchen, dining room, living room and bathroom. On the floor above there are a lot of bedrooms. My basement, however, which also houses a full bath, has been turned into my sex room. My husband works for a large corporation during the day. At night and on weekends however he is my sex slave. We also have several maids and servants as we are very wealthy. My fantasy begins on a Friday night.

At 5 pm after a long hard day at work Don comes home. As he sits down in the living room the maid comes in and hands him his slippers and the paper. Don accepts gratefully as he is tried. At 5:30 he is served his dinner in the living room. Unknown to Don I am being served dinner upstairs in my bedroom. As I finish my diner I ring for the maid. After I speak with her she goes downstairs to Don. "Excuse me, sir, the mistress has informed me that you have until 7 pm to shower and be ready for her downstairs." Don knows this means I will be downstairs at exactly 7 pm and if he is not ready he will be severely punished.

When I arrive downstairs at 7 pm Don is just coming out of the shower. He hasn't had time to dry off yet and therefore is still wet. I yelled, "You stupid bastard don't you know how to tell time yet?". He trembles and quakes at my loud voice. "Get over on the table you jerkoff." The "table" is an old style formal dining table about six feet long. As he lays down on the table I push a buzzer on the wall. Immediately four butlers appeared. Each one takes and arm or leg and ties him securely to the table legs. As soon as the butlers are done four maids appear downstairs. One of the butlers secures a blindfold on Don. He is not gagged as he will need his mouth to beg with later. Also he knows better than to utter a sound unless he is told to do so as this will bring on severe punishment. The room is in total silence. For the time being the maids and butlers have retreated to chairs to watch the show. Don has been extremely bad this week and they all know he will be punished tonight for all week. The room was silent. I walked over to the shelf and picked up a wooden hairbrush with very stiff bristles. I walked over to my slave and slapped him across the face. Then I started massaging his tits with my thumbs and forefingers. Gently at first then harder. After that I take the hairbrush and run the bristles over his already sensitive nipples. At this he screams. Because he is ordered to total silence he must now be further punished.

At my signal the four butlers come over and untie Don and lead him over to the wall. About two feet above his head are handcuffs attached to the wall. His hands and feet are once more securely bound. At this point I go into the bathroom and bring out the enema bag. I shove the tip roughly up his ass then I release the clamp and let the booze flow up his ass. When the bag is empty I remove the nozzle and shove a tampon up his ass so he holds the booze in. The cramps get worse but of course there is nothing he can do. At my signal one of the maids comes over to suck his dick for two minutes each. He knows he is not allowed to cum or speak or do anything and he begs. "Mistress, please let me cum. Please let me go to the bathroom. Please Mistress I'll do anything you say but please let me cum." "No talking", I yell at him. "One half hour more punishment." This means he'll have to remain where he is for another 1/2 hour without moving or talking and he's not allowed to go to the bathroom.

Because the enema bag was filled with booze by the time his half hour is up he is quite drunk. Two of the maids go into the bathroom and start a cold shower. Because he is drunk from the enema he must sober up. The four butlers come over and untie him from the wall but immediately retie his hands and feet. He is then carried in and sat down on the toilet. "Go ahead shithead-- take your damn shit. It's time for you to sober up." As soon as he is done the butlers pick him up and sit him on the floor of the tub with cold water running over him. His cold showers are usually 5 minutes but because he has been unusually bad this week tonight it is 10 minutes. As soon as his 10 minutes are up he is dried off with heated towels. Then he is tied to the table again as he is not allowed to dirty the king sized bed that is in the basement with his body. That bed is for my use only and he knows it. After he is tied securely to the table a very strong vibrator is secured to his cock. It will remain there for two hours. As I realized he will probably cum several times in that 2 hours the 4 maids and 4 butlers each take 15 minute shifts holding a large tumbler under his cock to catch all the cum. While this is happening I treat myself to a nice hot bubble bath after which the four butlers all take turns fucking and cumming in me. By this time the 2 hours are up and I go sit on his face. "Lick scum bag. Lick every drop of their cum out of my gorgeous cunt." He did as he was commanded. Then he was ordered to drink his own cum from the glass. After that is done it's sleep for both of us until tomorrow morning only to start all over again.

#033-669, white male, 51, post graduate, married, significant other knows of his interests, an only child, politically liberal, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 8, tries to meet by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM sometimes helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, dominant, 1/10, humiliation oriented, does not know whether he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was sexually abused as a child but does believe that he was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

I enjoy very sophisticated, intelligent Cauc. mature married emotionally stable women who, with their husbands permission or submission, will be a "whore" for me. (not for financial reasons)

These women have been over the years and for the most part highly successful and with most, a business woman in addition to being a housewife, mother, and in some cases a grandmother. For most part they have real or latent exhibitionistic tendencies, a high but unfulfilled libido, are "late bloomers" and either want to add excitement to their compartmentalized live or prove something; either ego on their own part or to their husbands. None of them are ever forced to do anything they really don't want to do. They act in confidence and find a certain ecstasy in submission as they rise above the humiliation to the point, where rather than being humiliated, they are "victoreous" All the relationships have been on-going except when time distance or circumstances have severed them as least as to my participation. No injured psyche' to date and no divorces.

Restraint has been limited to very light bondage; ankles tied to a chair, wrists bound behind the back and blindfolds. The bind that ties is the mind. No gags, chains, or pain ever Some of the experiences have been relatively singular in that the husband did not accompany us. Others have been of short duration, say for or rather during a vacation. In every case, the female has worn a garterbelt, heels, hose, a bra and has either a sensual but sophisticated look or less such as a "B girl" look or even an obvious "whore" look. No panties in any case. This alone, with a garterbelt, conditions the woman and is a symbolic representation of her availability. Even at a first meeting, when the goal level is known by the parties and the female has been asked to wear a garterbelt, not one female has ever worn panties. All are first timers at being a "whore", altho some have had swinging experiences prior to me. Some of the woman have been subject to impromptu whoring. Others were in hotels and led down the hallway to strangers doors. Some three prearranged meetings, some thru just plain street walking usually in major cities. In addition to a wife, I have also had at my suggestion, combinations such as Aunt, Niece, Sisters, Mother/Dau. and once a Mother, Dau. Granddaughter and Grandmother Granddaughter combination. Most of the woman will accommodate, after being experienced by phone or by mail and will "report back" by the same means.

Many experience for the first time as a "whore" anal intercourse, swallowing semen, more than one male in one day, more than one male at a time, and their first black experience. There role gives them a certain freedom which they seem to relish Most stayed as part-timers, a few went full time whenever possible and two became what is commonly called sex slaves. All the combinations came as a proposal by the principal and not promoted by myself. The ads you mailed your questionnaire to were both to my wife. Considerable editorial liberty was taken by the magazine and the ad repre- sents nothing of the intent of the insertion. I have also answered for my wife on another of the two inquries received. She knows of my history as well.

My first experience was with an attractive woman, a career executive in N.Y.C. who with her husband, were close friends of my parents. Her daughter was a classmate of mine and we were both Juniors in an upper middle class school in the suburbs of N.J. within 5 miles on N.Y.C. She was petite, vivacious and led me to believe she would like to meet me alone. She was 40. I was 17. After I had made arrangements to meet her in a nearby "hot pillow" motel, I became apprehensive and arranged for 3 male but older friends to be at the adjoining restaurant. My intention was simply safety in numbers. When she appeared we went to the room immediately. She was dressed for a Fri. evening out. Black Cocktail dress etc. She had on a black garterbelt, no panties. Very impressionable to me. She was aggressive but receptive. Practically our first physical contact was for me to put my hands on her shoulders. Apparently they rested heavily and she thought I was pushing her to her knees, a position to which she descended. I thought she looked like a whore. I told her so as she was kneeling performing French. The dialogue continued as I asked if she was a whore, and finally would she be a whore for me. A series of yes's encouraged me and have me a sense of power. After we had finished have both oral and regular sex. I left and in a minute returned with one of my friends. The woman remained in her garterbelt heels & hose and I offered her to my friend for $5. She accomodated him orally in my presence and the other two were similarly cared for either orally or straight. We left shortly and I was shocked to learn she was on her way to a cocktail party at my parents house at nine o'clock! She whored off and on for me for seven years. I had married at 19. Then I moved out of the state.

I had various other women including my ex bosses wife and my ex partner's wife but the most unusual was the wife of a commercial fisherman. He fished N.J. to Maine to Fla. often long stretches at a time. I met them in N.J. and she went to Fla. She was working for [withheld]. I met her after she had a bad experience with a boyfriend. She was somewhat promiscous during her marriage due to her husbands absences no doubt. I dated her, went to bed with her after our date but she refused any sexual advances. I was not, never am, aggressive and complied. IN the morning she initiated contact but I refused. I like boats and met her husband with her. We got along and he implied she was "too much for him" and I should keep her busy. He also stated to her she shouldn't give it away because they had "bills" (debt. 2 kids in college). It was mostly booze talking but I said she looked like a great whore and he agreed. All was said in "social humor. I was 35. She 52, a tall youthfull read head, flashy dresser whose appearance was deceptive. She could pass as 38-40. She sought sex and I refused. We dated. I continued to refuse. I said she be a good whore. Finally she said she would be a whore. I said prove it. She put on a $500 white linen dress, a black bra & garterbelt clearly showed. She got in her Cadillac, went to a bar picked up a guy and frenched him for $2 in the back seat. She came back immediately, gave me the $2 and told me how she did it. I told her to show me and she did. I then took her out at the same location the next nite and she had sex twice more for $5 each. After that when we dated, I would ask her to dress in her mood. She always would come out in a garterbelt w/o panties and show me. We would go to dinner and she would pickup men in bars. I had an office in Fla & one in Clev. OH. I went to Clev. and she visited for long periods. In addition to pickups I put ads in the magazines. She started having 3 to 5 dates a day. I sent her to a parlor and she started having 5&6 a day. I also asked her to be a slut (for free) and in addition to her regular dates, she would give oral sex in the car, peep shows etc. After a year on 4/12/71 I asked her to give an anniversary "blow job" for $2 again. She did. I took her other cities and states and she would whore on vacation with her husband as well. I always kept records and she was having some form of sex with 500 and 600 men a year. She involved her sister and they would whore together. She included her sisters daughter, her niece and they would whore together. She added her daughter, married for an Air Force officer (overseas) and they whored together. Finally on a visit she her daughter and granddaughter whored together. And when possible she and her grand daughter would whore together. She gave her annivarsity "blowjobs" every year for $2 to as many men as possible. She came to N.Y.C. and at the age of 63 she street whored on Lexington and 26th and 43rd and 11th ave for a week, giving 10 to 15 dates at $10/15/20 max a nite. She had requested to be a sex slave a few years earlier. Since 4/12/70 to date [1984] she has been a slut, whore, or sex slave with 10,072 men. her back is bothering her now and she and her husband are retired in Fla. but she is still available and I see them once in awhile. The only fantasy I have not been able to fill is her fantasy to be in an isolated area like a logging camp, construction site, service base etc and have her "lay out for a line up" in a small room and have her service a very large number of men in her garterbelt heels and hose only, mostly black. I am referring to say 10/12 per hour for 10/12 hrs i.e. 100-144 [men]

Some of the other women who have become whores include a bank V.P. a dentists wife, a doctors wife an office manager, legal secretary, school teacher, real estate broker and most interesting of al perhaps, a NUN. Made available to me was a mother (wife) and three daughters ages 42,16,12 & 10. I turned it down. The easiest class to handle are female professional psychologists and psychiatrists. I have had three of the former and two of the latter when I was a [withheld] consultant to a prestigious medical society. (as whores)

All the above is true and accurate. Further inquiry may be made.

P.S. My current curiosity is the "price". The high for a single interlude (not overnight etc) is an astounding $1500. I am referring to a brief 1/2 hour one hour max meeting.

P.S.S. I forgot. The humiliation is verbal abuse with husband, public appearance and photographs, principally oral activities with graphic results.

#034-677, white male, 62, post graduate, widowed, no significant other, an oldest child, strict religious training, politically conservative, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 15, tries to meet through ads and by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a lifestyle, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, submissive, 1/4, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was sexually abused but does believe that he was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Typed.

Favorite Fantasy

I am a believer in female superiority, and the lady must also be a firm believer. While I am 62, she is only in her 30's or 40's, or perhaps late 20's. While I am only 5'7" in hight, she is at least 5'8" and with her heels appears much taller than me. When I take her out for an evening, I pay all the costs while she makes all of the decisions as to where we go and what we do. Any casual observer can detect that she is in control.

The lady dresses in exquisite taste an in the height of fashion. She wears expensive jewelry, impeccable heavy makeup, and very beautiful, glistening, expensive high heel boots or pumps. She demands that I wear a dark, vested, wool suit, even on a hot, humid evening, and with a white shirt with high standing stiff collar, conservative necktie, plain black shoes well shined, and black over-the-calf socks. I must be freshly shaven, have a neat haircut, and wear a very conservative hat.

She smokes cigarettes and expects me to light them for her, and to secure a new supply if she runs out. While I am a cigar smoker, she decides if and when I am allowed to light a cigar. While dining in an elegant restaurant she enjoys placing one of her feet in my lap and pushing her spiked heel into my penis; especially just at the moment that I am giving the order to the waiter. While I am dancing with her in a cocktail lounge after dinner, she informs me that as soon as she gets me home she is going to piss on me. My only concern at that point is that she will allow me to take off my clothes first.

When I take her home, she allows me to remain at her apartment until the wee small hours but does not allow me to spent the night. She demands that I satisfy her with cunnilingus as often as she wishes. She informs me that it beneath the dignity of an elegant lady to perform fellatio; I agree with her. She fondles my penis, but is careful to be certain that this is never enough for ejaculation. Sexual intercourse is totally and completely forbidden. I am encouraged to kiss her finger tips and hands, especially in public. I am expected to kneel before her and tell her that I worship and adore her and kiss every square inch of her gleaming leather encased feet. My most ardent kisses are reserved for her spiked heels! The lady may, on rare occasion, permit me to kiss her very briefly on the cheek; however, mouth kissing is forbidden.

The attached fantasy has, as of this date, not yet been realized. Also, I have not had the honour of meeting such a wonderful lady as Ms. Fantasy. However, all of the ladies that I have "dated" for more than a couple of times, during the past 15 years, bear at least some resemblance to her. Many of my evening "dates" are a recognizable, albeit less dramatic, version of the fantasy.

#035-132, white female, 36, some college, married, significant other knows of her interests, a youngest child, some religious training, no religious beliefs, politically moderate, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, not sure if he has friends who have SM interests, became interested in SM through pornography at age 4, tries to meet others through ads, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM sometimes helps her achieve orgasm, is bisexual, usually submissive, 1/50, unsure if she is humiliation or pain oriented, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

(1) To be naked- on display- to a group of men. In fantasy im laying on a long narrow table or bed and there are 6-8 men around me in a circle. Sometimes, there are 1,2 or 3 women also. They are dressed or in various states of undress or naked and very horny They can feel me but not fuck me.

I must jack off in front of them until I get so turned on I cant stand it. The men (& women if so imagined) are jacking off. They get closer to where I am lying & jack off right over all of my body, face. Sometimes my mouth is being held open by a device that fits inside it & 1 (sometimes more) man empties his come inside my mouth!! In some fantasies they call me "dirty name's, while other times, no words are spoken.

___________

With partner- fantasies start with this theme:

(2) Im dressed in nipple chains, basque with garters, hose and 5"=6" heels. I have a full length fur on that is buttoned up. Partner takes me to a place & then exposes me to inspection by a group that he has arranged to be there. The all use me while he watches. I'm tied, used, probed, fucked, sucked- it goes on & on.

(3) Newest fantasy- thought about a couple of times.

Same entrance as #2 except partner takes me to expert but dominatrix. He watches her use me. She spreads my pussy lips as I'm on all fours and to my surprise (and excitement!) calls in her big, black, horny dog. I've never done it with a dog & I'm very scared & excited. She makes me tell my partner that I want to fuck the dog and that I want to be watched &/or filmed doing it!! She rubs my clitoris and finally I say it. The dog is very horny, panting etc. By the time he gets close to fucking me- I'm begging for that dog's cock. She still doesn't let him close enough. She makes me beg for an audience, or to be filmed, etc. before I get to fuck the dog. As Im being fucked by the dog, she brings my partner to "in front of me" gets down on her knees & sucks my partner's cock! While he is in ecstasy of being sucked off & the rush of seeing me getting fucked by dog.

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I would certainly help you out on your SM research. Its a "different" approach to sex. I have no guilt- but it is certainly noting one can discuss openly. I think it would be 'neat' to live where there are SM clubs. Would like to form/take part in private club- much like scenario in "O, Story of." Meet once a month, training sessions- etc.

#036-64, white female, 36, college graduate, divorced, significant other knows of her interests, a youngest child, strict religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically liberal, never depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes hers are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 18, tries to meet others through ads, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is bisexual, usually submissive, 1/1, pain oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

I don't really think I fantasize, as the word seems to be currently defined. I usually just think about being in a sexually stimulating situation with my regular guy, usually sometimes others, but mostly him. I think of him forcing me to have sex by holding me so I don't escape, or pinching my nipples or holding my head on his cock. I wish he were into spanking, but doesn't seem to be, although he knows I like it. Other than that, I really don't imagine any wild scenarios or elaborate role-playing-- it just isn't me.

#037-63, white female, 53, post graduate, widowed, significant other knows of her interests, an oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, rarely depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has no friends with SM interests, was introduced to SM by another person at the age of 40, tries to meet others at SM clubs, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of her interests in SM, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, submissive, humiliation oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

I would like to spend a week-end being the only slave with a group of masters. I am confined to a cage-- treated as an animal (food-water-toileting on paper (& God help me if I miss)-- leashed and changed-- constant oral satisfaction for masters-- being toilet-- & arousing & having sex with a dog.

#038-642, Hispanic male, 29, post graduate, never married, no significant other, the youngest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically liberal, never is depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his sexual interests, has friends with SM interests, believes his interests are natural ones from childhood, first recognized them at age 16, never used a professional, views SM as a form of sexual foreplay, believes that it helps him achieve orgasm, homosexual, versatile, 30/30, humiliation oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not feel that he was sexually abused but does feel that he was emotionally abused, has a wide variety of SM interests. Typed.

You must understand that there are different moment through life that each individual things that certain stages of his or hers life have certain priority and that through time this stages change in order of importance.

I enjoy mostly in verbal humiliation in most instance by a very masculine none clone individual with some kind of clean cut gear dominating the scene. Example: A mature (35-45) executive married individual freshly bath and even some splash of line-dry cologne and very clean under garmets with white heavy socks, underwear (jockey) and even with some blood stains in his skin from shaving. Coming into the office building in the mornings before everybody else and maybe (arranged beforehand) finding each other in some unoccupied section of the building where not many people know, and just abuse me mentally of being a homosexual and liking to service men like himself. while he will abuse me verbally he will also use his physical force to obligate me into servicing him oraly and he will play with my chest and tits through my open shirt, kneeling down in front of him, He will force to suck him although I put resistance to his aggressiveness, but he will insight into obligating me into doing his will, all through his action he will be humiliating me verbally and even smack me across the face several times as I resist. Until he is ready to reach an orgasm and before he does so he shuts his load of semen on my face and makes me lick it out of his hand and fingers, while I reach my orgasm Thank-you, sir. Please can I see you again, next Monday.

#039-440, white male, 36, high school graduate, married, significant other does not know of his interests, an oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, rarely depressed for longer than one week, sometimes feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, believes his sexual interests are natural ones from childhood, first recognized about the age 11.5, tries to make contact with others through ads, has used the services of professionals, vacillates in his interest in SM, believes that SM helps him achieve orgasm, heterosexual, submissive, 3/25, humiliation oriented, would disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe he was sexually abused but does feel that he was emotionally abused, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

One of my favorite fantasies involves my becoming the ward of a women at an age of about 9 or 10. She is my Step- mother, foster mother, Aunt or perhaps an old friend of the family or neighbor who has consented to take me in and raise me. (there is never a father or husband on the scene) She is always much taller and stronger than I and able to handle me physically with ease. She need not be a raving beauty, but does have an attractive body. She is articulate and intelligent and very finacially secure.

Early in my stay I find that while she is a warm and loving women, she can also be quite stern and strict. One evening while she is entertaining two lady friends I become quite naughty, talking back and so on. She get up quickly, grabs me by the arm, turns me around and delivers two hard stinging slaps to the seat of my pants. She then stands me in a corner. She says that she has tried being patient with me but when her friends leave she is going to put me across her knee and give me the sound spanking I deserve.

What follows as I stand in the corner rubbing my stinging backside is a discussion by the three women on the merits of a good old fashioned spanking on naughty children. They discuss all the aspects of spanking Positions, various instruments When it should be done over garments and when the bottom should be bared. As their discussion goes on I find myself becoming aroused as the other women give detailed descriptions of some of the spankings they have given their sons, daughters, nieces, nephews, etc. And one, a women in her fifties states that her married Daughter and Son still come to her occasionally to be taken by her to the woodshed when they feel the need to clear their conscience of guilt feelings.

By this time I am so aroused I don't know if I want these to stay so my spanking will be put off for a while. Or I wont them to leave so I can receive my just reward at the hands of this elegant lovely women.

Finally these women leave. She returns and calls me to her side. She is wearing a full skirted tan colored dress that buttons down the front, three of the bottons on the bottom are undone and as she sits, a lovely lacy white slip is revealed. Then I am pulled face down over this beautifully clothed lap. her strong capable hands quickly pull down my pants and underpants. I am oh so helpless and fully under her control, and my naked genital area feeling her firm thighs through the silky soft material of her dress as slap after slap falls on my naked bottom which soon has me crying like a baby. My whole life then changes. Forced to wear girls clothing which I learn to love. Being spanked in female attire by her, her friends and various other women who enter my life.

#040-12, Asian female, 23, some college, never married, significant other knows of her interests, neither the youngest or oldest child, strict religious training, strong religious beliefs, no political beliefs, sometimes depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes hers are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 12, has not tried to meet others, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of her interests in SM, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is usually heterosexual, submissive, humiliation oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand- written.

I am Thai and come to U.S. 3 years ago. Before that I lived in a camp for 4 years after leaving my country. Always the Master whips you when you are wrong. So it is with all Thai school girls as much you know. Often I got the soko and was sore for a long time. Also I saw Master use soko on many pupils younger and older than me. We were trained to be submissive as all Thai girls are. Again I was whipped often in the camps were most girls. I like being whipped by the Master who shows me wrong from right. I do wrong in U.S. and I cut switch from tree and prepare myself but Master not whip me. How do I know my Master if he not show me he is by whipping me? Now I live with orientals who understand me. I go to school to learn and i do wrong but they whip me with switch and I feel better. I am sore for a long time but soon I do wrong again and I cut switch for making me behave. I don't understand hairbrush used on children and they don't like switch. My friend read me this [questionnaire?] and help type. He use hairbrush and then make love but I need it to hurt to respond it not, I cut own tree twigs and teach friend. Now he know how and we have much fun. The feeling lasts a long time and sore as much you know but for that we are taught to submit and I love the feeling afterwards.

#041-48, white female, 26, post graduate, never married, significant other knows of her interests, neither the youngest nor the oldest child, no religious training, no religious beliefs, politically liberal, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, unsure if she has friends who have SM interests, believes hers are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 14, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM sometimes helps her achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, dominant, humiliation oriented, would approve if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

[This response is from Europe.]

My Best Event

Two persons a man and a woman, equal in size, both wearing boots, socks, tights, belt, she a mini skirt, he small trunks-- and both boxing gloves

. The bout begun

Both giving their all

It is a brutal, mercyless, through, powerful boxing bout between the sexes.

Both goes down

Finally, she takes over the fight. Out box him and KO'd him

He lays beaten and trunkless on his back looking up at his superior in boxing, who stands with his trunks in her lifted arm and place her foot at his cock

He kiss her feet, legs groin and tits in defeat and with a hard cock pointing out of the [unreadable] in his tights he follow his mistress out of the ring.

She rules him, humiliate him, show her physical and mental power over him.

He is my slave

------------------ This is a thing I love.

As I'm powerful myself, I have box and beat many males and have them as slaves.

------------------

You may follow up my questions with deeper ones

#042-271a, white male, 37, college graduate, married, significant other knows of his interests, neither the youngest nor the oldest child, some religious training, no religious beliefs, politically conservative, rarely depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 5, tries to meet through ads and by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, dominant, 1/8, humiliation oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand- written.

My current SM/B&D fantasy begins with my winning of a few million dollars in the New York State lottery. (Already this has to be a fantasy because I don't play the lottery.) After telling my employer to "take this job and shove it", I would move to New Zealand with my wife, and there I would purchase a mansion style house on a fair sized private estate. Then I would staff our new home with beautiful girls hired for their personal enjoyment and love of fulfilling the submissive role SM/B&D gamesmanship. There would be upstairs English maids, downstairs French maids, grounds keeping lassies, kitchen servants, chauffeurettes, and cute stable girls-- to mention but a few. All scantily clad and costumed as befitting their various tasks; all kept suitably hobbled and gagged; all subject to the caprice and whimsy of myself and my wife; all participating in the maintenance of their own lovely enslavement and attending to our delightful pleasure in having them about us.

#043-29, white female, 38, some college, divorced, significant other knows of her interests, an only child, some religious training, strong religious beliefs, politically moderate, rarely depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes hers are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at about age 9.5, tries to meet through ads, at SM clubs, and by introducing others to SM, has used the services of a professional, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is homosexual, submissive, 2/6, pain oriented, would approve if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was sexually abused but does believe that she was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

Favorite Phantasy:--

To have a full time relationship with a dominant but non- butch lesbian involving centering my life around she an individual on a full time/real time basis--

Enjoy the feeling of surrendering myself to such an assertive person in a way that transcends SM play.

Enjoy doing oral sex with such an individual and as a way of feeling that I am a part of her, enjoy her sharing her "wine of womanhood" with me i.e.-- blood of her menstrual cycle as even though a symbolic, is still a sharing of herself with me in real times.

Enjoy being a part of her life and fulfilling her goals, in return, like being her prized possession.--

Am exploring a relationship with an individual such as this via correspondence at the present time as she is in the womens prison at [withheld] will be released on parole by [date withheld]. This has been confirmed by prison staff at [withheld]--

Plans are for a full time relationship centered on your questionnaire that relates specifically to my S/M orientation [she enjoys: spanking, oral sex, restraint, golden showers, bondage, stringent bondage, whipping, boots/shoes and she added "menstruating women"]--

Only category [I left out] is either pain or humiliation for question #31 and that limits my response. The feeling of surrender of self is exciting for me and this category is not addressed by question #31.

I am a lesbian female 38 yrs old. professionally employed.

#044-55, white female, 43, college graduate, married, significant other knows of her interests, neither the youngest nor oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, was introduced to SM by another person at the age of 32, tries to meet others through ads, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of her interests in SM, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is bisexual, usually submissive, 35/20, pain oriented, would approve if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

Last night during a party with our local S/M group, one of the members gave me your questionnaire to complete and submit to you. I do not know if it is being sent in time to be included in your research but I felt you might find some use for it.

Although I am not sending any narrative of my experiences, desires, or fantasies at this time (I want to get this in the mail as fast as possible), I will be happy to provide any additional information which you may need.

For general background information, I am a 43 year old, divorced and remarried Caucasian female. I discovered my masochistic needs about 10 years ago while I was re-entering the "single" life after my divorce. A very wise and perceptive lover suspected my hidden nature and taught me to accept and enjoy the pleasures of willing and submissive masochism. Since then, I have served many Masters and Mistresses and continue to do so. With the encouragement and assistance of my Supreme Master, my husband, I have "graduated" so some fairly "heavy" S/M although I continue to learn and experience new adventures with almost every new partner.

I am truly a happy and satisfied woman who has found and accepted my true needs. I wish to emphasize that I have not been forced into my lifestyle. I am grateful to those who have led me to a better understanding of myself and enabled one to enjoy the forbidden pleasures of erotic humiliation and pain.

Very Respectfully Yours,

#045-288, white male, post graduate, divorced, significant other knows of his interests, an oldest child, some religious training, strong religious beliefs, politically liberal, sometimes feels depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of his sexual interest, considers his interests natural ones from childhood, first recognized at age 13, tries to meet others through ads, has used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, feels it helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, usually submissive, 1/1, pain oriented, does not know how he would feel if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not feel that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

I've used a good number of S-M fantasies over the years. I'm always the recipient of a good sound spanking. I'll share with you one of the best. Best because I've been able to find someone a number of years ago that participated in it and I wound up a good number of times with a very bruised bottom.

Anticipation is always very important-- I would make an appointment with my mistress for a punishment session-- usually I would be sent by a teacher or someone else-- the mistress was the organization disciplinarian. The appointment would be for several days in the future-- Each day I'll call and try to beg off-- make a deal or something-- only to be told that I was making it worse on myself. I'd then get defiant-- swoar or threaten the mistress-- I' might even threaten her with a beating. She would tell me in detail how sorry I was going to be when I got there-- many times she tell me to wear panty hose to the session.

Finally the day would arrive. I always brought a note listing all the things I'd done to deserve my punishment. Usually including a threat that should the punishment not be severe enough the disciplinarian would be punished by the teacher.

I'd always be just a little late to make sure she would be angry and ready to punish me good.

The disciplinarian would read the note-- shaking her head. She would then get the tools out-- always a heavy old fashioned hairbrush-- leather strap and a short 2 1/2 foot whip. [unreadable] restraints would also be available to secure me to the bed.

I'd then be told to get undressed-- I'd beg-- plead and finally refuse to cooperate-- she would then grab me and undress me-- I'd beg and promise not to struggle if she'd take it easy-- she'd then tell me that if she didn't do a good job she'd get spanked herself and she didn't what that so I' should expect to be well marked when she was finished.

It started with just panty hose on me-- she would start with just bra & panties on-- these would come off soon thought-- I'd beg not to be tied down-- I'd promise to cooperate and then the spanking began-- I'd take as much as I could then try to protect myself-- I'd then be tied to the bed with the restraints-- the panty hose would be left on for a while-- this serves to prolong the spanking because it would prevent the skin from being broken too soon but didn't protect too much.

She would alternate between being kind and cruel-- sometimes blindfolding me with her panties finally the panty hose was torn off. After 20 or so hard one with the brush-- she took a break--

By then I'd had enough believe me-- I'd be left tied down-- she'd talk nice to me and tell me how she hates to hurt me but it was for my own good. If I was thirsty he'd give me something to drink.

Then she'd read the note again and get angry or ask me something and not be satisfied with the answer and say I hadn't really learned my lesson. I might even call her names, etc.

This was when the real beating began. Its important for me to really feel punished-- I can't be in control-- if the session stops too soon its a disappointment--

Slowly she would spank me with the hairbrush from the top of my thighs to my waist-- each stroke [unreadable] to be felt-- several seconds between-- she would pull my cheeks apart so even that was covered-- then she'd use the strap-- a 2 1/2-3" wide thick strap three feet long so it curls around to my front. Slowly up & down my bottom it would go overlapping until my whole bottom was welted. She would stop and rest and then begin again. Finally she stopped and said-- "there that should teach you a lesson--" I'd be untied and she would comfort me-- rub cream on I'd check it in a mirror-- many times the skin would be broken and there'd be flecks of blood.

She'd lay down alongside me and masturbate me to climax.

Then if was over-- I thought-- she'd get dressed My clothes had been locked in a closet at the beginning-- then she'd say let's see if you've learned your lesson-- Bend over the end of the bed-- and count-- she'd then get the whip-- a riding crop I' usually had to take 12 and they hurt-- If I missed count she started with one again-- several times I must have had to take 20 or 30 before I counted right-- by then there was always blood on my bottom. She then left the room. And I got dressed.

My bottom would be swollen and bruised-- many times I could still see bruises or marks a week later.

Those were good sessions-- unfortunately its been 3 years since I've had a good session. I can't seem to find a substitute here in N.E.Pennsylvania--The two local massage parlors just don't make it.

I'm enclosing a self addressed envelope I'll be interested in hearing about your research. The above is not a fantasy it did happen in Harrisburg-- although now its just a memory & a fantasy.

#046-56, white male, 39, college graduate, married, significant other knows of his interests, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically conservative, never depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, not sure if he has friends with SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first realized at age 9, tries to meet others through ads, at SM clubs, and by introducing others to SM, has used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM sometimes helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, versatile, 3/25, doesn't know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

Long term fantasy involves a mother & her 2 daughters (40ish, 18&16yrs)-- old family friends-- I dated the older daughter in high school.

Fantasy started with mother asking me to help discipline youngest daughter-- progressed to long involved punishment sessions with both daughters and mother in heavy bondage & humiliation (panty wetting, enema spankings, forced masturbation) severe paddlings and cainings bizarre costumes & situations-- taking them all to a public tennis court in tennis dresses but with no panties or perhaps lacy string bikini pants lots of underwear in the fantasy-- girdles or panty girdles, garter belts etc

No, I've never acted out this one (or come close!)

#047-71, white female, 46, some college, married, significant other knows of her interests, neither the youngest nor oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically liberal, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes hers are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 16, tries to meet others through ads, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of her interests in SM, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is bisexual, versatile, 10/20, pain oriented, would approve if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

I'm a forty six year old house wife and I just can't get enough sex. I like all kinds of sex and just love to have my body worked over real good.

I like to be tied down with my legs pulled apart and have someone whip my thighs, pussy, clit and my tits. I also like to have my pussy fist fucked by a black gal. I like to have my tits bound with rope until they are black and blue.

I also like to be gang banged by a group of black guys.

#048-123, white male, 37, post graduate, never married, does not have a significant other, strict religious training, no religious beliefs, politically liberal, sometimes depressed for over a week, often feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, not sure if any of has friends have SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 14, tries to meet others through ads, has used the services of a professional, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is bisexual, dominant, 1/3, humiliation oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

In my fantasy:

I am a 16 yr old boy & I am with a 16 yr old girl. Each of us are naked. We are each straddling & lying face down along a padded exercise or vaulting "horse" Our bottoms jutt out over the end.

We are each being hand spanked very soundly by two very attractive women in their thirties.

Below each of our bottoms, sitting on a stool, is a porcelin bowl.

The women, in addition to spanking the girl and me while telling us how naughty we are, etc., also want us to "make" in the bowls. They are toilet training us. The girl and I are both crying like babies, sobbing. During the prolonged spanking, in between, the solid sounding hand spanks on our naked bottoms, we each can hear the other lewdly farting. Eventually it is evident that we are both making #2. The women are standing behind us watching it come out. After we are thru the women carefully wipe what they call "their brown bottomed babies." After the girl and I are thoroughly cleaned. we are each put over one of the woman's knees and given a thorough "licking" with the strap. Out bottoms are as red as ripe tomatoes.

Afterward, with tears running down our face, the girl and I soothe each other's scorched behinds and make love (including anal intercourse) with each other.

#049-559, white male, 26, post graduate, never married, significant other knows of his interests, a youngest child, some religious training, no religious beliefs, politically liberal, sometimes depressed for over a week, sometimes feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, not sure if he has friends who have SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 13, tries to meet through ads and by introducing others to SM, has never used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM sometimes helps him achieve orgasm, is bisexual, usually submissive, 2/4, humiliation oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

Fantasy #1. It is my 30th birthday. I come out of my office, in my suit, and a black, stretch caddy limo is waiting for me. Inside is my wife, dressed normally, and a very attractive blond woman, wearing a cobalt blue, silk tap pants and camisole. We drive to pick up a male friend of mine, while doing some good coke, drinking some fine champagne. I fondle the blondes breasts thru the camisole, and tickle her pussy lips. My wife & I discuss the blond & how I might use her that evening. We pick up my friend and I give the blond instruction on how to please him. which she does. Then she gives me some head, tho not to the point that I have an orgasm. We drop off my friend, & go to pick up another guy I know, & get more buzzed. I blindfold the women & undress her completely; We pick-up my 2nd friend, & the three of us go to a hotel suite, where we have ourselves a little party. The blond has to pay particular attention to my wife.

Fantasy #2. I answer an ad for a gay male slave. I go to the address I've been given, a large old apt. bldg on Manhattan's Upper West Side. I ring the apt., & a voice answers, telling me to turn away from the door, & walk backwards into the apt. I do, & I am immediately blindfolded. I'm given many instructions to follow: get undressed, play with myself. When I'm naked I am put into collar, wrist & ankle restraints & a belt. Then I hear, for the 1st time, a number of men discussing my body & how they are going to use it. I get very hard. I am put into tit clamps & cock restraints. Then I have to suck off two or three guys (in reality I have a lot of trouble taking an average cock very far in my mouth). After this I am tied over a cushioned foot stool and my ass is probed, then fucked slowly. I am in pain, & cry, but this is ignored until they have had their pleasure. I'm untied, the tit clamps & cock ring removed. & re-tied. spread-eagle on a fur covered bed. Then my cock is oiled, & I am masturbated slowly, brought close to coming a number of times, until, begging for permission to come, I am brought off.

#050-120, white female, 33, post graduate, married, significant other knows of her interests, the oldest child, strict religious training, no religious beliefs, politically conservative, never depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes hers are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 11, tries to meet through ads and at SM clubs, has not used the services of a professional, sees SM as foreplay, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, submissive, pain oriented, 2/30, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Computer printout.

Although no fantasy material was included with the initial questionnaire, she did return a rather lengthy response to specific questions.

QUESTION: What were your earliest unusual thoughts at the age of 11?

My earliest SEXUAL thoughts grew out of fantasies I had indulged from a much earlier age. When I was about six or seven I would lie in bed at night and think about being tied up or kidnapped. A girl-friend and I used to play a game we called "Bluebeard" which involved pretend-tortures and sometimes real bondage. That was age eight or around ten. Another girlfriend and I used to take turns in the male role' playing "make out" when I would sleep overnight at her house. (I should mention that as one of 13 children, these were non- physical fantasies when I was at home-- there was no privacy for masturbation of anything like that.)

When I was eleven, my mother explained to me and my sister what French kissing was, after a babysitter had talked a little indiscreetly about her boyfriend. I was fortunate that my mother never "hid" the physical side of sex, and never seemed embarrassed to explain when we asked-- but she didn't usually volunteer information, either. At any rate, I realized that the games Marilyn and I had played came nowhere near the realities of "making out", and somewhere in that year I began to incorporate the half-understood things in my fantasizing.

Then when I was fifteen, I was working at a local theater, and I was allowed to watch the movies free, after my job finished. The week they showed "Born Losers", I saw it thirteen times. (It showed fifteen times.) This was the first movie with the character of Billy Jack, and dealt with rape, teasing, violent rape, and violence of several other kinds in a blatantly sexual setting. I was galvanized! This was the half- realized stuff of my fantasies on the wide screen in living color, with details I had never imagined!

So obviously, my "first" thoughts occurred in a transition period from six or seven to fifteen and I say six or seven, because those are the earliest I remember. As far as I can tell, this particular bent was "hard-wired", that is, inherent in me from birth or from a very early age.

QUESTION:: If you were to try to explain to a straight person what you got out of SM, what would you say?

When I do, I point out that in cold blood, most people would say that they would be turned off by having their partner bite them. Yet, "love- nips" are an accepted part of fully-aroused lovemaking. A lot of things that are "painful" in ordinary situations will fan flames of passion in an aroused state. Spanking is an extension of love-pats, whipping is an extension of spanking, and where YOU draw the line between "exciting" and "perverted" has more to do with your outlook than with any objective measurement.

I usually try to move away from "justification" after the initial comments, though usually in these discussions, the participants are less interested in information than in being titillated. If there are male and female, and pleasure is had by both in lovemaking, then it is obvious that these "opposites" should have this pleasure. So since there are dominants and submissives, there are "sadists" and "masochists" (please don't take these in the clinical sense), there are "masters" and "slaves", and each partner derives pleasure from what they do together, why is there any need to justify these activities?

Most of the explanation to a sincerely interested audience comes in repeating often, that because the media label every rapist, etc., a "sadist" does not mean that SEXUAL sadists are the moral equivalent of rapists, etc., or that what a dominant sadist does is rape, or that a "slave" is an inferior person in anyones eyes, and so on. It is a difficult task, because "straights" focus on details ("She said she like having NEEDLES run into her NIPPLES!!") and ignore the broader aspect, that an SM couple have acquired a compatibility deeper than simple "straight" sex.

QUESTION:: Were you spanked as a child, or have you seen other children spanked?"

Yes, or course I was spanked as a child. I recall clearly the last spanking (belting, actually) I got. I was 11-- I remember that because my dad said that I got one lick for every year, because an eleven-year-old had eleven years to learn better. It was the first belting I ever got, and I knew I was getting it because I had scared my dad out of his wits. (I had disappeared one whole afternoon while a babysitter was there, and she had no idea of where to look for me. I had been away almost fourteen hours when I returned, and my dad was GREY, he was so worried!

That was the first belting I ever got, too-- I was a pretty blah kid, or else good at hiding my errors. But I got spanked, same formula (one per year of age) from the time I was maybe three or four. Last spanking I ever got at home was when I was ten. I have 12 younger brothers and sisters, so I have administered a few spankings at home as well, and certainly everybody was tense whenever on of the other kids "got a licking".

My parents NEVER tied in the spanking to apologies, religion, or anything except the particular wrong-doing. As far as I was concerned, a look of disappointment on my dad's face was far more painful than a smack on the backside!

Except for the belt, Mom spanked me and my sisters, Dad spanked the boys.

QUESTION: You mentioned that some of your relatives know about your unusual interests. Which ones, and how did they find out?

I had an ad in an East-Coast SM publication, and my brother-in- law answered my ad. After I had chatted with him about it, I discovered that he and my sister were into B&D, and in discussing it with my sister, I found that one other sister was also into it. (The third one doesn't know about me-- I don't think!)

QUESTION: How did you let your husband know about your sexual interests?

I discovered my husband's interests before we were married, and we have incorporated them into the relationship. (I think I found a couple of paperbacks in his dorm-room, and got obviously excited reading them...)

QUESTION: What takes place during a "typical" session?

Okay, settle into a comfy chair...

I am fortunate in having a very imaginative sadist who is willing to try a lot of different things with me, including hypnotism, "torture/inquisition" sessions, straight whipping scenes, etc. I also have a husband who is willing to let me visit this artistic sadist, and who likes to do "rape" scenes with me. So there is really no "typical" session. (More coming, I haven't coped out yet.) With my husband, a session might begin with something relatively innocent like my snapping him with a towel, or him reading something exciting, or any of the ordinary sexual activity triggers for "straights" (like my parading around in a towel, etc.) He might grab me and start wrestling on the bed, or he might slap my fanny a few times. I am usually giggling at this point, and he likes to get completely on top of and in control of me, whether in the bedroom or elsewhere. Gradually my clothing is removed. I might sort-of cooperate, or may struggle wholeheartedly. By the time my clothes are off, I'm not giggling any more, and he will usually proceed from there to "rape" me. This is best for me if he holds down my arms, and obviously male- superior (missionary) position contributes best to this, though occasionally he will bring out cuffs or other gear to "subdue" me. When I have had at least one orgasm, my arms are released, and we make love some more until he has his orgasm. He is very good at controlling himself.

Spankings without other sexual activity are also common in our play, and triggered by the same kinds of things, He will haul me over his lap and administer from one to ten or more sharp slaps-- these are strong enough to leave red welts sometimes, but never bruises. Four is the most common number-- two per buttock. I think he likes seeing the sharp outline of his hand, and more than four overlap.

-----------------------

With my SM lover, as I indicated, sessions are normally different from one time to the next. One time he hypnotized me to set the scene in my mind that I would see a medieval dungeon as commonly envisioned for the Spanish Inquisition (though his methods have more to do with the Scottish witch purges of Jamesian times.) He gave me ten names which I might give as "other witches" in response to the tortures, and then he proceeded to torture them out of me. He has a particular liking for the insertion of needles into various parts of my body, and likes to incorporate this into any session. On this occasion, I was also whipped in semi-suspension, mostly on the buttocks and back, and my nipples were pierced (non- permanent) while I was fastened to a wooden cross. (By the way, I "broke" under the torture. This scene was totally real to me while I was undergoing it, and I really assumed that persona because of the hypnotism. Before we had tried this, a similar scene allowed me to retain control even under more severe pain.)

One other time, we utilized a heavy, old-fashioned barber's chair, over which I was fastened face down (it was reclined first) and thin needles were inserted into my rump. Perhaps a dozen needles were poked into my skin. There was no other "scenario" for this session than the "torture", thought I always get cold feet seconds before we start (how else can I be "forced" into it?)

------------------------

Here I should probably mention that my preferred role', I refer to as "victim". I like to be forced or coerced. "Rape" plays a large part in my fantasies, and helplessness is a great turn-on. This can be achieved through bondage, or through threats with various weapons, or through application of physical strength, etc,-- but my "involuntary" acquiescence is a large part of any session I enjoy.

Victim as a role' (maybe I don't need to say this) has nothing to do with the media/literary/standard "victim", because I DO consent, and voluntarily choose, to play within this role'. It is the illusion, the part-playing, of coercion and force, that provides the turn-on. The one time I was subjected to a sexual assault not of my choice, I experienced all the traumas and problems of any assault victim (here used in its other sense.) Incidentally, this happened when I was eighteen, and I knocked out my assailant. He was brought to trial on seven OTHER charges of assault and rape

. Pardon the digression-- I hope that answers this question.

QUESTION: As you know, many women, whether feminist or not, do not feel that SM etc. is an appropriate form of sexuality. What would you say to such a woman?

I finally realized that other peoples' assessments of "appropriate" and "valid" have no bearing on my sexual nature. I am not interested in converting others. I did end up leaving two professional women's groups because of this kind of condemnation. Once a group has that kind of attitude en- trenched, I don't think it makes sense to try to change it-- except when the group is law-making body!

QUESTION: Were there things about SM etc. that turned you off when you first heard about them, which now turn you on? If so, what?

When I first got into practicing this (as opposed to fantasizing), the first thing I tried was Master/slave scenarios. At that time, I said anything that left marks was out. Then I had a session with a man who used a riding crop, and I enjoyed 98% of it (everything but the two seconds after the crop contacted my butt!), so I expanded that to "permanent marks". Then my husband talked me into getting my ears pierced, so I modified that slightly. (And I wonder how may women subject themselves to this pain and "disfiguration" for fashion's sake?)

I visited a dom in California three years ago, still with the proviso that "Nothing should break the skin", and he had these cute little "tittie darts" he had made out of ordinary sewing needles with vanes of paper, like tiny darts. When thrown, the point of the needle would just tip under the first layer of skin, and then the weight of the vanes would twist and "lock" it in place. It really didn't qualify as breaking the skin, but it did break ground.

So I was less adamant about prohibiting my current SM lover from poking me with needles, and eventually between my husband and him, I was convinced to have my nipples permanently pierced. I now rarely have a session, either total SM, or lovemaking, without needles being used SOMEWHERE on my body.

My current prohibition concerns electricity, primarily because none of my partners know enough about it (I feel) to use it safely. Since my SM lover has bought a [cattle-type] prod, and brought the subject up several times, I think this one, too, may fall-- but until I say go, it will not happen!

------------------------- Whew! Long-winded, ain't I? I hope this will help. Happy number- crunching!

Suffering bravely, ----- -----

#051-560, white male, 26, college graduate, never married, significant other knows of his interests, a youngest child, some religious training, no religious beliefs, politically liberal, rarely depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 20, tries to meet others through ads, at SM bars and clubs, has never used the services of a professional, views SM as a lifestyle, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is homosexual, submissive, 5/8, humiliation oriented, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

To be naked and surrounded by 6 hairy bearded men, all dressed in leather but with chests exposed. They're watching football on television, smoking cigars, drinking beer and talking dirty. I belong to one of them, but service all of them. I bring beers as needed & light their cigars, in return for which I get probed, pinched, smacked and kissed. All 6 are real hot for me. and my horniness is multiplied by the studs I'm pleasing. This lasts a whole saturday afternoon. After the game, I am to be awaiting them in the cellar, spread-eagled face up on the billiard table. I hear their heavy booted foot- steps advance from the floor above, down the stairs, and across the concrete floor to where I lay. I am felt all over by 12 leather-gloved hands before I know it, I am picked up and tied standing between two columns. The men are grabbing, stroking and feeling my smooth, hairless, slim body. They take turns spanking me with a studded leather paddle. Then they line up to be serviced in turn. One man squeezes my hard nipples. One man has my mouth sucking-up to his cock. One man is pulling on my big dick. one man is fucking me. Two are telling me what to do for them. shouting orders and slapping my face and ass. The one I'm sucking and the one that's fucking me come, and two more replace them. This scene lasts through the night, with more games than I can elaborate in writing.

Thanks.

#052-61, white female, 42, some college, widowed, does not have a significant other, neither the youngest nor oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically liberal, often depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes hers are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 5, tries to meet through ads, at SM bars and by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is bisexual, versatile, 10/2, humiliation oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, believes that she was both sexually and emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

I dont have time to write my fantasies but they are pretty classic:

-- being treated as a slave: wait on my master, serve, being punished, ask for his cock as an honor--

-- being treated as a dog: collar, chain, eating and drinking on my fours without help of hands--

-- being treated and verbally abused as a whore--

------------------

When my husband was alive I acted out my fantasies completely with him. COMPLETELY-- Now that he is dead I go to an SM bar once in a while, take a few drinks to loose my inhibitions and the acting out depends on the encounter. I had a real good slave/master encounter one night, real far out, but usually it is pretty dull, the guys want to be sucked in front of the other and that's about it. Also I find that even in SM bar, people are scared of what they want or need (at least a good majority of them).

A little history: I found my husband by answering a personal ad. We had a wonderful relationship for eight years before he died from cancer three years ago.

#053-51, white female, 29, post graduate, married, significant other knows of her interests, an oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically liberal, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, first recognized her SM interests at age 15, tries to meet through ads and by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, believes SM sometimes helps her achieve orgasm, is bisexual, usually dominant, 6/55, pain oriented, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

Similar to story of O-- like to strip another beautiful woman tie her up hands over head (called "suspension" among people into this,) turn her on manual stimulation they start very lightly whipping her with a belt (or a bullwhip) getting heavier and heavier until she is sweating, and screaming, (and cuming.) Best if room is hot and person being whipped is perspiring. Neat to have someone watch entire process-- show.

#054-636, white male, 48, post graduate, married, significant other knows of his interests, an only child, strict religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 10, tries to meet through ads and by introducing others to SM, has used the services of a professional, views SM as a lifestyle, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, submissive, 5/10, pain oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests.

my fantasy, which Mistress has arranged to have partially realized with one or Her beautiful sisters is to be a French maid serving cocktails at a party of beautiful Women. Some males, preferably submissive, could also be present. i would be attired in a short-skirted black satin dress, apron, cap, long white lace gloves, a tightly laced Victorian corset, stockings, and very high heels. I would either wear a wig and full makeup or not, as Mistress decreed. I would also have on ankle shackles with a short chain between them, a ball stretcher, and no panties.

my duty would be to circulate with trays of drinks and food among the elegantly and decadently clad Women, kneeling before each as i served Her. Frequently throughout the party, my stretched balls would be fondled and squeezed, but i would not be permitted any show of pain or discomfort. i would also be whipped by any Mistress who felt the urge, and at some point during the evening, one of the beautiful Dominants would insert a butt plug to help me "walk with a wiggle". Through all of this, my only permissible reaction would be one of humble gratitude, and Mistress would mentally note any misdemeanors for future correction.

As the party grew less inhibited, Mistress would pass the word that i was a trained toilet slave and encourage Her guests to take advantage of that.

At the height of the evening, before the Female guests begin pairing off with their selected slave for the night, Mistress would have me strung up by the wrists, gag my mouth, and use my already striped and bruised ass to demon- strate to Her guests Her technique for the thorough breaking-in of a new whip.

Respectively submitted,

#055-49, white female, 28, college graduate, never married, significant other knows of her interests, an only child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, sometimes depressed for over a week, sometimes feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, unsure if she has friends who have SM interests, believes hers are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 14, tries to meet others through ads, has used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of her interests in SM, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is usually heterosexual, usually submissive, 2/5, pain oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand- written.

I enjoy suspension by my wrists or ankles, and enjoy the feeling of helplessness. Being unable to move while I am made love too excites me.

#056-50, white female, 48, high school graduate, divorced, no significant other, an only child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, never depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has no friends with SM interests, was introduced to SM by another person at the age of 35, tries to meet others through ads, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of her interests in SM, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is bisexual, versatile, 4/4, humiliation oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, believes that she was both sexually and emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand- written.

Nine to Five

I'm employed as a private secretary for the president of a large well known corporation. And being the very well trained girl that I am, I am always ready to satisfy & please my very attractive & intelligent superior. As of date he has been personally entertaining very prominent male & female clientele within the complex. Using me completely to service some very kinky minded persons. My career & job & both in jeopardy if were to refuse. I must be readily available at all times for deviant pleasures. I must always discreetly wear very sexy & reveling under garments & be clean shaven & prepared to be accessible at just a moments notice. My body is completely ravished again & again as I'm also verbally abused bringing my complete surrender. As my mind is completely in his control, the lust within me explodes with the fiery desires of always more & more. I love my job, my superior dominate boss. For this I exist, service & feel the need for life. My job motivates my entire lifestyle & the fringe benefits are unique & most satisfying.

The End

This is only a fantasy, far from ever fulfilling. At one time when I was in office work my boss would wish my personal services but only for himself & nothing to do with B/D & S/M.

#057-127, white female, 29, some college, married, significant other knows of her interests, an only child, strict religious training, no religious beliefs, no political views, never depressed for over a week, always feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, first realized her interests in SM at about the age of 14.5, tries to meet others through ads, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a lifestyle, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is a forced bisexual, submissive, humiliation oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

My most exciting fantasy is led into a very hot and dark room. I am blind folded and stripped of all my clothes.

I begin to feel many hands wet and oily hands, start to feel me all over. Then I am placed, with hands bowed behind me, on a pad on the floor where I am being forced to have oral sex with men with no faces.

I have never come close to this fantasy.

#058-193, white male, 65, post graduate, never married, no significant other, an only child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, is not sure if he has friends who have SM interests, first recognized his SM interest at age 16, has not used the services of a professional, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, versatile, 5/38, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand- written.

A Present Fantasy

This fantasy has been done twice already.

Two slender young women (ages 30-35) bring me into their living room. I am told to strip and lie naked on my back on the floor. The women also undress and one of them straddles my chest and proceeds to slap my face between 100-200 times while the other kneels near my hips, puts oil or Vaseline on her hand, and rubs my cock. This offers me a wonderful combination of moderate pain and pleasure. When the first girl stops slapping she changes position with the second girl and they reverse their previous activities. I find this to be painful, pleasure, but particularly humiliating.

When the second girl has finished slapping me she then moves from my chest up to my face and talks dirty to me while I bring her to orgasm as many times as she wishes. In the mean time the first girl has transferred her hand from my cock to my balls and plays with them in a very brisk fashion so as to cause me great anxiety about whether she may injure me. In time the girls reverse positions and roles.

When this phase has [unreadable] ended both girls stand above me and take turns inserting a foot in my mouth and making me kiss their feet, ankles, and calves. As in the preceding phase of this activity the girls talk to me in a low tone of voice, no shouting and no cussing, but very pointed observations of the positions they are in and the lying down inferior positions I am in.

Next they place bath towels under me and each girl in turn stands over my head and urinates in my mouth and on my face. Again the girls make remarks appropriate to the occasion.

Finally they sit on a couch with me kneeling directly in front of them and order me to put oil or Vaseline on my cock and begin to rub it as thought I was starting masturbation. Then they humiliate me terribly by ordering me to continue rubbing at all times but not to come until they permit it. After about 2 minutes I hear myself begging piteously for them to let me come. They just laugh and one of them will reach forward to slap my face. Their conversation turns on finally having a man completely in their control. This kind of torture can go on for as long as a half hour before one of them will give me permission to come.

#059-101, white female, 37, post graduate, never married, significant other knows of her interests, an oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically liberal, never depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes hers are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at about age 7.5, tries to meet others at SM clubs, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of her interests in SM, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is usually heterosexual, dominant, 20/20, humiliation oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was sexually abused but does believe that she was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

Dear Researcher,

I am so glad you are doing this research, and doing it the way you are: going to the practitioners, even if one's "practice" consists of mere fantasy.

I would very much like to help you with this project if you could use some straight, sincere, no "hidden agenda" assistance in the areas of typing, computing and tallying, interviewing, compiling, brainstorming, etc.,........if such help would not compromise or contaminate your efforts.

[Information which might lead to her identification has been withheld]. This is not an "ad" for a "contact." I have had an interest in this area of your research for may years, and believe my skill for objectivity has been reinforced through my choice of career experiences and directions; thus, my offer to assist in your research.

As to my favorite fantasies: There has been an "overall" scene, environmental setting, cast of characters (no animals, please) and inevitable entrapment and control of the "heroine" via sexual humiliation and invasiveness of one's psyche which acted as an "overlay" for the more detailed transactions between characters. Each "general" situation lasted any number of months or years, depending upon how flexible it was for my editing and augmenting. (I enjoy people who are flexible, too). I also think these "general" situations corresponded or changed depending upon my developmental stage and needs. The conflicts of childhood, the aspects of isolation, fear, abandonment, lack of privacy to be who I really am or want to be, subservance to rules not yet understood, looking for escape, the excitement of a stranger or strange place, another time in history, to be a different age...it all gets played out in my mind. I identify with the heroine, but as the creator and director of the situation, I have safely taken myself out of her, experience a sense of power over her, and control her with my inconsistency. I like to masturbate beautiful women, embarrass them in front of others, visualize sodomy. I like to have a man's erection exposed to me at will, to tease him about his inability to hide the fact of his excitement. Exposing what one most wants to keep hidden, the last thing that belongs to one's "Self," the regulation of one's deepest pleasure and psychological connections.

Once over the guilt, thanks in large part to a group [an SM support type Club], and publications, I have enjoyed exploring further in my fantasies and activities, thought the act of having sex. as your questionnaire puts it, is not really a part of my activities. But my fantasies are a rich aspect to my masturbation of "having sex" with someone.

I have only recently made some sense of my shifting identifying with the various characters in my fantasies and scenes. I have only recently acknowledged some of what is on the previous page. Intrapsychic conflicts still need work.

(By the way, if you are not aware of it, there is a book on The Sexual Addiction which prescribes recovery along the same lines another 12-step self-help programs, such as AA. There are anonymous self-help support groups, called, predictably, SA, Sexaholics Anonymous. If you need more information on this, as it may relate to your research, please contact me.-- No, I'm not a member, etc.)

I can see that there is an addictive (a "high") quality to the scene, and to each a different degree of experimentation of heavy life-style use. I believe the "permission" giving quality of the scene has benefited me in other aspects of my life, much of which I used to take very seriously.,

Again, if you would like to see if I can be of assistance to you in this research, as I wholeheartedly believe this is vitally needed (you and I and others are aware of how many and what cross-sections seem to be into the scene and it's just "folks like you and me, mainly,"), please call me or write. I'm sure you are making a much-needed contribution to the field.

#060-75, white male, 38, post graduate, divorced, significant other knows of his interests, an oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically conservative, never depressed for over a week, always feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 12, tries to meet others through ads, has used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, versatile, 1/75, pain oriented, would disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was sexually abused but does believe that he was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

My girlfriend & I go to a club a lot that has a lot of gay women & some straight people too. Girlfriend, Sue, meets a tall, beautiful woman & she asks Sue to dance while I watch. The lady, lets say "M", dances close & discovers Sue is submissive-- she rubs Sues ass & they sit down for a drink & M tells Sue to sit on her lap. Everyone can see,. She pulls Sues hair & takes her into bathroom where Sue is spanked.hard-- I can hear from outside. She then takes Sue to her car, puts her across M's lap; more spanking & oral sex. M takes her home & I follow. Sue is taken inside, restrained, fucked with strap on dildo & whipped. I masturbate.

We've met several women & have gotten close to enacting this-- good fantasy for my girlfriend & I because both of us like it.

#061-86, white male, 33, post graduate, married, significant other knows of his interests, neither the youngest nor the oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically liberal, sometimes depressed for over a week, sometimes feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, unsure if he has friends who have SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 6, tries to meet others at SM clubs, has used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, versatile, 1/40, humiliation oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

My favorite fantasy:

I am a pubescent upper middle class over-protected bad valued snot with various attributes (affected speech, poorly developed muscles, sarcastic attitude, selfish, cruel & cowardly-- but otherwise sweet) to prove it.

My mother hires a black housecleaner who forces upon herself a very submissive attitude when dealing with white people so as not to lose work.

I torment her taking advantage of her economic fears by tormenting threatening her to not tell.

My favorite torture is to sneak up on her beautiful bum as she cleans and give her a resounding crack with a paddle I had made (with holes!) and then run away laughing as she holds her bottom in pain and silent rage.

One morning while I sleep, she announces to my mother that she has found a much better job with her uncle and gives 2 wks. notice. My mother goes out for the day, and as her cleaning progresses, the maid finds herself next to my closed door. Peeking in, at noon, she finds me asleep, but my blankets have fallen away an my plump bare bottom is sticking out right at her, soft and inviting.

You can guess the rest, since she knows I keep my paddle under my mattress.

This fantasy has actually occurred in all it's aspects in real life except for the very last part.

#062-571, white male, 24, some college, married, no significant other, the youngest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically liberal, sometimes depressed for over a week, sometimes feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has no friends who have SM interests, discovered SM through reading pornography at the age of 21, tries to meet by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is usually homosexual, usually submissive, humiliation oriented, does not know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand- written.

My fantasies are so varied and numerous, I could write you a novel. But then I'd never get the questionnaire finished and sent off. So I'll just write you my most recent fantasy (it's short because it's still under construction.

As usual, I spent the night in the closet, naked with my hands tied to each ankle and my neck collar chained to the wall. The collar was to insure I didn't leave the closet and my hands were tied to insure I didn't jack-off (only Master could relieve my sexual tension and let me cum so I was usual horny). If I had to go to the bathroom at night, I could just maneuver myself on to a small wooden potty seat with a blue bunny painted on it. It was humiliating to have to use it but it was better than trying to hold it in all night.

Before my Master would release me in the morning, he would make me give him head till he came and I swallowed it. I was still a novice slave and this was a part of my training. I still didn't like the taste of cum, though I did find it a little more palatable than the piss, Master was teaching me to drink

. Next he would set my cock & balls in a chastity pouch, a small locking bag leather that although allow me to pee constricted room and dissuaded erection. Only then would he untied and unchain me. With my sexual discharges safely in his hands, he would then fuck me before or after breakfast.

On this particular day, the fucking came before breakfast. After I'd done the dish, Master sat me down and said "I think its time we took a break, we're both getting into a rut. Your training will continue but in the hands of a friend of my. She'll be over in a little while."

My thoughts jump to Mrs. Kratz, the 250 lb friend who liked to sit on my face for hours while I tongued her cunt & ass. She always stunk of overly- sweet perfume. A whole day with her was going to be rough...

I'll send you more of this fantasy as it evolves along with your more intense questionnaire.

#063-26, white female, 30, post graduate, divorced, significant other knows of her interests, neither the youngest nor oldest child, no religious training, strong religious beliefs, politically liberal, rarely depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes hers are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 7, tries to meet at SM clubs and by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is bisexual, versatile, 20/500, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was sexually abused but does believe that she was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

Current Fantasy

I am sent to a convent because I am too sexual & need to be taught more ladylike ways. I am compliant to the values of the system, innocent, but unable to control my rampant sexual thoughts & feelings. I do not think of myself as bad, but I know (because I was told) that the sexual thoughts are bad & trust that if I follow the instructions of the nuns & priests I will be a good girl and not think such things.

I undergo a program of early morning nude calisthenics with 20-30 other girls, do menial labor, sleep on a stone floor etc. I am inspected many times during the day for "cleanliness" & must have douches and enemas under the eyes of the nuns if not perfectly clean. I confess all my sexual thoughts to the priests or senior nuns & am frequently told to act out the thoughts while being whipped to teach me not to think such a thing. The nuns and priests are never angry, they are patient & kind when they punish me. They do not guilt trip me, but tell me that I shouldn't worry, they're willing to keep whipping me for as long as it takes for me not to have the "bad thoughts".

The whole fantasy gets hotter depending on which "bad thoughts" I'm confessing. My favorite is multiple sex with one servicing a member of the priests & nuns at the same time. I then actually do this (not for their pleasure, though they also do not appear to mind) while I am beaten, or before I am beaten. My second favorite is sex with a very young novitiate.

I wear rough uncomfortable clothing with no underwear. I am well- liked and not ostracized for the fact that I need so much punishment. I am completely unrebelious & look forward to the day when I will stop having "bad thoughts", but it never comes.

Have enacted various parts of this fantasy.

#064-128, white male, 49, college graduate, married, significant other does not know of his interests, neither the youngest nor the oldest child, strict religious training, no religious beliefs, politically moderate, never depressed for over a week, sometimes feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, not sure if he has friends who have SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 12, has used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM sometimes helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, dominant, 8/12, pain oriented, does not know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

The woman dresses in a skirt with a flair skirt and tight top with buttons. She wears garter belt, stockings & high heels. I give her a bare bottom spanking over my lap. Then she is made to bend over a chair and I give her a caning. When she removes her dress & brassiere and she lays over a stool and I strap or cane her for a period of time. Then we have inter- course. During the course of the punishment we have oral sex.

My real life I am not aggressive. I have never struck my wife and actually feel very protective to women.

I know I was just born with a spanking tendency because I can remember spanking dolls when I was quite young. I never spanked my children. My bizarre behaviour is always connected to sexual satisfaction.

#065-110, white male, 40, high school graduate, married, significant other knows of his interests, an only child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically conservative, never depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has no friends with SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 7, tries to meet by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, versatile, 1/40, humiliation oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

My favorite sex fantasy,

I have been very lucky in that even tho my wife is not really into spanking and enemas and other things she doesn't mind pleasing me and sometimes she does get very excited and really enjoys herself.

The one fantasy I will never have happen, I have a female cousin a little older than myself, I would love to see her pull down my wifes panties and put her over her knee and spank her very hard with a paddle ball paddle in front of me.

The closest I have come to this is, I talked to my cousin at about 12:00 noon and told her just how I was going to spank my wife. Then I decided to have her tell me what paddle, position and if on her jeans, panties or bare. Also number of swats.

She had me use a 24X3X 1/4 inch paddle, to have her put her hands on her knee, and spank her on the panties, 12 real good ones.

So at 2:15 just as I said I would I paddled her. I called later and asked if she had remembered. She said to my delight "Yes, I looked at the clock and 2:15 and know you were paddling her."

My cousin doesn't disapproved and even seams to enjoy hearing of my fantasies that I work out. It is much more fun to have a 3rd person to share it with.

#066-124, white male, 46, post graduate, married, significant other knows of his interests, an oldest child, strict religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically liberal, sometimes depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, not sure if he has friends who have SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 10, tries to meet through ads and by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM does not help him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, dominant, 1/1, humiliation oriented, would disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

A 16 yr old niece spends the summer in my care after first agreeing to be subject to my discipline if she misbehaves. One day she is bad & I give her a choice of a restriction or a spanking & she chooses to be spanked. I make her wait for it several hours & then softly & lovingly lecture her on why the spanking is for her own good. At my instructions she then unbuttons her jeans & turns over my knee. I spank her 1st on the jeans, then panties, then I lecture her on when it's necessary to take down her pants. The rest of the spanking is on the bare bottom. When my hand tires, I change to a hair- brush. When I finish, my niece is crying, but repentant & agrees she got what she deserves & thanks me.

I have come quite close to above. I did this with a female spanking fan, but it was her fantasy we played out, I it varied slightly.

Incidently, I am a mental health professional currently engaged in researching this same topic! Perhaps we can share theories & data. Please write to me & use your real name & I'll answer with mine.

Are you the same "graduate student" who advertises about his/her research in Corporal [an SM oriented publication; no, the questionnaire was not published in that magazine] or was it a third person?

#067-115, white male, 38, some college, married, significant other doesn't know of his interests, an oldest child, strict religious training, strong religious beliefs, politically moderate, never depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has no friends with SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 7, has not tried to meet others, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM sometimes helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, usually dominant, humiliation oriented, does not know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, one main fantasy. Hand-written.

My most frequent fantasy involves a teacher I had in the 7th grade. I had a crush on her and she knew it and flirted with me but not in a serious way. She threatened spanking me 2 or 3 times but she was only playing.

Other teachers, spanked me and it never failed to frighten & excite me. I saw her spank two other students, and it was witnessing those punishments that set-up my fantasy. Both spankings were vigorous and both students (girls) were completely defeated and crying when she finished. The teacher I had a crush on (call her Mrs Jones) was our class, but she had to be in control at all times and any challenge was met and delt with, right now. Mrs Jones could get angry in an instant. A misbehaving student would be called down in no uncertain terms and at the top of Mrs. Jones voice. When class was being taught the room would hum along, when she was mad, it became still.

The episode I recall goes this way: A transfer student appeared in class and misbehaved in some small way. Mrs. Jones called her down for it. The student made a remark and Mrs. Jones ordered her to the front of the classroom. The girl refused to go.

At this point Mrs. Jones warned the girl student that a trip to the office or a spanking would follow if she failed to obey. The student tryed to talk her way out of her trouble but this made Mrs Jones angry. Mrs Jones left the room for a moment and returned with a girls councilor. The all three went out into the hall. I saw the girl bent forward and held and Mrs. Jones spanked her with a paddle that was kept in the desk. Mrs. Jones gave the girl 6 spanks (the maximum) but the girl was defeated and crying after 3 hits.

I fantasize that I, not the girl, am to be punished and everyone can see us. I try to fight to get away but Mrs. Jones places me across her lap and spanks me. In most of my other fantasies I watch others being punished.

I married a girl who is a ringer for Mrs. Jones.

#068-119, white male, 61, some college, divorced, significant other knows of his interests, a youngest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically conservative, never depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has no friends with SM interests, discovered SM from legitimate media at age 17, has not tried to meet others, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, submissive, 0/0, pain oriented, does not know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Typed.

I have attempted to fill out the enclosed form to the best of my ability. Think its a dammed good idea and wonder what your results will discover. You ask for a fantasy. I will give you my Fantasy and an actual not dreamed up situation that happened too, too many years ago

. First the fantasy:

During the Summer Months when I am not Sailing (I live on the Water) I spend on the beach where I not only have my Book, Binocs for Boats but my Minolta XD-5 with Zoom lens. On occasion I have the opportunity of shooting some very attractive Female Butts. Usually fairly young Girls I would say-- 24-30 or so. If the pix come out well, then I can plan a Fantasy around a actual flogging of said Butt. This fantasy is aided with a self imposed whipping, naked on my own bare Behind with my ass stuck out. Usually I can get about 40 licks in and then a large Enema will be the finial and the climax for me. Sort of complicated but does the trick. I would very much enjoy the partnership of a Dominant but I am not into a situation where I want some Woman to stamp all over me. If I could just say do this of that and pay, fine. Perhaps I am shy.

Now the real thing. This happened almost in my Childhood but not quite, My Summers as a growing Kid were spent in or on Long Island where I played a great deal of tennis on Grass Courts. Played in all sorts of matches etc. I did get a Girl friend (MY first) and she and I played a lot. Not only did we play against each other but also in Mixed Doubles and Match Play. My sexual experiences to that point had been quite limited. Kiss was the biggest deal in my life and a very rare affair. One day after Tennis, Helen and I went back to her house. Her Mother was sick (Alcoholic it turns out) and they had a large rented home. We went up to Helens room and she simply asked me to give her a whipping on her bare fanny with a short riding whip she had. She did own a Horse. This was as I can recall and amazing request--any such thoughts of beatings had never occurred to me up to that time-- my parents were loving and this was a nono in my family. So Helen took off her Tennis Shorts and knelt on the bed and I was told to beat her hard, I did beat her hard and she said, harder as I can recall. This situation happened a few more times that Summer and then the War came along. By then Helen and I still saw each other although not too often. Directly after the War I was taking a Train to Long Island for N.Y. when to my surprise I was joined by Helen who was going down to [name withheld] as well. We agreed to get together for Dinner and also to spend a day seeing all the old sights so familiar to us both. Helen had left Collage and was about to get married. She asked if I recalled the summers previous where I had beaten her-- of course I had. She told me that she still liked it and would I do it once more to her. I did as she wished. Then she told me an amazing thing. She was going to Marry a Shrink. If I could spell the correct word I would my thesaurus and not on my desk. She told me that she had a feeling that such goings on would cease when Married and she would be getting therapy. Helen did get married, she lost a lot of weight, had children who are now married, still plays Tennis and as far as the past is concerned-- I assume its just that, the past. Could be I'm wrong but have never had the nerve to ask.

I trust you will forgive my spelling, you would think that somebody in my Profession could Type-- I am in the printing business. The above occured about 46 years ago!!

#069-248, white male, 78, some college, never married, no significant other, a youngest child, strict religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, never depressed for over a week, sometimes feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, unsure if he has friends who have SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 12, tries to meet others through ads, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is usually homosexual, versatile, 0/0, pain oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, believes that he was emotionally abused as a child, has one main fantasy. Hand-written.

When I was 17, I ran away from a boys home when they found me and brought me back-- I was put over a stool and the headmaster straddled my neck and started to beat my ass with a 1/2 inch rattan rod while one "brother" held my left leg and another his son-- a dream my right leg The headmaster-- an old guy kept beating away at my ass while I screamed my head off-- I thought the guy should be getting tired pretty quick the couldn't keep the pace and pretty soon I felt each stroke of the stick less and less and to my embarrassment I came in my pants and no matter how hard each stroke I did not feel anything-- the head master realized what had happened and suddenly exclaimed "so that is the kind you are" and as the brothers ran out of the room he started beating me over my head-- this I could do without but for the rest of it I have longed all my life to get another beating like it but when somebody tries it, I cant take it-- I am going to tell the next one or two or three to tie me up and gag me and beat my ass til I come and not turn me lose til I suck them off.

#070-348, white male, 63, some high school, never married, significant other knows of his interests, an only child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically liberal, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends who have SM interests, introduced to SM at the age of 58, has used the services of a professional, views SM as a lifestyle, believes SM sometimes helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, usually submissive, 1/4, pain oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Typed.

Enclosed is envelope for further inquiry. I am open in the sense that everyone who knows me might well be aware of my interest in S.M, so no secrecy is required on my part. One fantasy: My OWNER summoned me to HER home. SHE hands me some written material and demands to know my opinion of it. While i am reading, SHE begins a conversation of great interest and demands that i participate and consider the subject. When i stop reading to listen, SHE berates me for not reading. When I begin reading, SHE berates me for not listening. After a little while, HER cat jumps on my lap, and places his forepaws on my chest, while sniffing at my nose, then he begins wagging his tail all over the paper i am trying to read, and SHE continues to insist that i read and listen.

This seems to fulfill Alan Watt's concept of the double bind and go beyond it to a triple bind. This is based on an actual event, but i do not know if SHE intended it to happen, or if it just developed. The cat is rather independent, and it is hard to believe that he was rained for his role.

Another: My OWNER summons me to HER place. SHE informs me that HER daughter has just become of age, and for a birthday present the daughter would like to watch an S/M session. i fall on my knees and implore the daughter to be so kind as to attend and even participated if she would like to do so.

i am sent to the dungeon where i strip and kneel to wait their arrival. When they come, i kowtow to both. SHE blindfolds me and the session continues in silence, i am led from one place to another, for one torture to another by the pressures of hands without knowing which is which. This includes spankings, nipple clips, penis torture, whippings, being spread- eagled on a table, and having candle wax dropped on my chest and genitalia.

This has not happened, at least not yet, and it is premature to suggest it besides it would spoil the entire fantasy if it were done because i suggested it. My preference is to obey HER and to do as SHE commands without regard to what i might like or not.

#071-30, white male, 32, post graduate, married, significant other does not know of his sexual interests, neither the youngest nor oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, rarely depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, not sure if he has friends who have SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 9, has used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of her interests in SM, believes SM sometimes helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, submissive, 1/1, humiliation oriented, does not know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Typed.

[No fantasy material accompanied his initial questionnaire.

In correspondence he told me that he had been in contact with a dominant woman who lived some distance away, and he sent the following copies of their correspondence. Most of the correspondence is from the dominant woman, since he did not keep copies of all the letters he wrote to her.]

Dear Tom,

I saw your ad in Direct Contact magazine and would like to know more about you and your situation. I enjoy being dominant with men but finding very few willing to participate. Your photo is the ad was very intriguing and I am interested in knowing if you are for real. hope to hear from you soon,

Paula T--

Dear Paula,

Thank you for your short note in reference to my ad in Direct Contact.

i am a 32 year old male who is seeking women who enjoy playing a very dominant role. i am real, very sincere, and will be totally straightforward in any communication. i have a deep need to serve a woman as a very submissive sexual slave, allowing her to have complete control of me whenever we meet. I am clean (no herpes!), honest, professionally employed, married to a non-swinger, well-built though fairly small.

i am not crazy (that is, i am not a true masochist in that i don't go in for branding, piercing, severe whippings, etc.), but instead seek a woman who understands my needs for humiliation and domination and who enjoys exerting her influence on a well-built male slave who is receptive to her commands.

My own fantasies are wide-ranging and flexible, but in general i am seeking a woman who is dominant by nature; that is, a woman who recognizes her superiority and dominates by the way she carries herself. In most cases, i am responsive simply to the verbal commands of a dominant M, thought other forms of discipline are perfectly acceptable if M desires, such as bondage, whippings of a non-sadistic nature, etc. Certainly, punishment of a appropriate nature is acceptable if i should ever fail to obey M.

Actually, my true fantasy is to satisfy YOU. While my own sexual needs are intense, my true release comes from knowing that i have satisfied my partner. My whole being yearns to serve at the feet of a bossy woman.

i am seeking a longterm relationship with the right m. I am married and must meet discreetly, but have ample opportunity due to my job to meet, and am able to provide a place to meet and help with your travel expenses if needed (i note that you are from [withheld], which is about 2 hours away). Meetings could be arranged sometime at a point halfway between, such as [withheld], Indiana.

Particular fantasies that turn me on are:

1. Exotic clothing, hose, heels, etc

2. Forced crossdressing (i have some items of clothing)

3. Oral servitude

4. Sexual humiliation of all forms

While i have never done it, one of my fantasies is to find a woman who would help dress and make me up and make me accompany her out as her "girlfriend"! Another fantasy is to serve a dominant as her "maid", or dressed in heels and hose and a skimpy maid's costume.

In spite of the fact that one of my fantasies is crossdressing, i am a straight heterosexual, and do not enjoy bisexual or homosexual contacts with other men at all. 9i have, however, met with and greatly enjoyed the company of two bisexual women).

While my overall experience with dominant women is not extensive (i will tell you more about the experiences i have had in another letter, if you desire), i have discovered that the role of the submissive male has provided intense enjoyment. i recently lost my M in this area Her husband-- who was totally unaware of her dominant interests-- took a job in South Carolina and am very eager to establish a new relationship. The fact that we live so far apart is a disadvantage, but i am willing to at least try and see if we are compatible. There are ways to facilitate meetings if each of our needs are met.

MISTRESS' humble servant,

Slave Tim,

I received your letter and found it to be rather interesting. I was pleased to read that as a lowly male you have come to realize that your enjoyment must come from a dominant woman. My enclosed photo ( you must return it ) shows a little of the type treatment I give to men. I am 30 years old, divorced, 5'5", and 130 lbs. Your picture was interesting but i would like to see you in a similar position facing the camera or like the pictures in the ad you put in the magazine.

I enjoy tying men up, giving them humiliating orders, watching them being a servant or slave in front of several women or even creating some type of mild discomfort and pain ( spanking, cock wraps as in the photo, dildoes, extended denial or climaxes, etc.) Also, your ad mentioned a bisexual girl friend being available. Tell me about her in your next letter; is she submissive, what she looks like, age, etc. Here in L-- I am dominant with two other couples where they are both submissive to me. In one other case, the man's wife and I are dominant over him. I have not gotten into much cross-dress- ing, but you do make it sound interesting and I have always enjoyed creating new male submissive roles.

I think it would be possible for us to meet somewhere eventually, but only after I am sure of your intentions. I have met a couple of men who thought they wanted to be submissive, but could not handle it. You do not sound this way, but I need to know you a little better. I have know I was dominant for a long time because I always got turned on whenever I saw a movie or magazine showing men tied up. Even as a teenager I would pick out a slightly younger boy that I knew I could beat and wrestle with him. It wouldn't take me long to get him into a hold where I could make him beg and whine to get free. I really got into it after I was married. I found out I could tease my ex-husband by not letting him fuck me( and he certainly couldn't get it unless I let him.) I eventually had him doing housework naked, making him watch on his knees while I masturbated, making him stand in a corner, and other things I can get into in another letter. We di- vorced because he didn't want to get into swinging so we could meet other submissive people. I occasionally see him now and he still enjoys me doing certain things to him.

Write me immediately or when we get together you'll regret not doing as i say. (I keep up with infractions of certain rules I give to my male slaves and they will receive stronger punishment later on.) I will enjoy hearing of some of your times with your other Mistress,

Mistress Paula

Dear M. Paula,

Your letter and pictures were, well.......breathtaking! Your visual image and even more important the image you projected in your letter were arousing in the extreme. i hope that i meet your expectations as well as M met mine. i will be as straightforward and honest in my correspondence with M as is possible, with the hope of being allowed to serve M on a longterm basis.

i am not a novice, though my training is by no means extensive. i currently have a bisexual girlfriend who might also enjoy serving MISTRESS (she is not a dominant), though i have not yet thoroughly explored the possibility with her. i will probably need to meet with you myself first before Ann feels safe enough to serve you.

i was introduced into servitude by an older neighbor lady with i was indeed just a teenager-- i would mow her lawn, etc. One day she invited me in afterwards "for a cool drink". The combined effect of the alcohol, and of her powerful perfume and sexy clothing (she had on sleek black hose and heels, no less) totally overcame my inhibitions. She sat on a bar stool and asked my to massage a cramp in her calf-- within moments i was at her feet, running my hands over her nylons and letting her feet press into my crotch. i could tell from her breathing that she was turned on too.

Abruptly she broke off and suggested i shower first. She said she would lay out some clothes for me after i was done. i expected on or her husband's robes-- you can imagine how surprise i was when i found a half-slip and a silk blouse laid out on the bed! She came to me and we lay, clothed, on the bed embracing and kissing and fondling each other. She unbuttoned my blouse and kissed my nipples, just as i wanted to do to hers. As she on top of me and moved her silk covered pelvis against my nylon-covered cock, i exploded with the best orgasm i can remember! i still remember the sly smile on her face as she reached under my skirt and took my cum on her fingers, then made me lick it off. She also spread it on her nipples, along with some of her own juices, and let me like it off. Ever since i have loved the soft sensual feel of women's undergarments and nylons on my thighs and legs!.

For three years we met whenever we could, which was not often, since she was married and i was away at college most of the time. She gradually became more demanding and dominant, and introduced me to bondage, humiliation, forced French, prolonged oral worship, golden showers, etc. She let me be her personal maid and toilet slave, and delighted in embarrassing me in front of her lady friends.

One particularly memorable night, D-- dressed me as a maid, complete with uniform, wig, hose and heels (i still have a partial wardrobe), the made up my face and painted my nails. THEN she informed me that her maid was going to serve drinks for her and two bisexual girlfriends who were coming over to visit! i had to serve them while they made lewd comments about my awkwardness in high heels, my big clit, etc, and had to endure their hands on my butt and up under my panties while i served them. Then they took turns inventing humiliating things for me to do for them-- they rode me like a horsie and made me suck tits and like ass and eat cunt until my tongue was limp. The young girl peed in her wine glass and "let" me sip her golden nectar, then fucked my ass with her fingers while i ate MISTRESS D-- cunt. After awhile, D-- paired off with the younger girl and the older woman (she was probably about 50) wanted me to fuck her. All four of us wound up falling asleep on the same bed.

We continues to meet for 3 years, though fairly infrequently, since she was married and i was in college. When she moved, i was without firm guidance for several years while i was in school and establishing my professional and married life. (Only recently i was reawakened by another dominant, only to have her husband take a job in South Carolina).

I know that that experience is extreme to say the least, but it illustrates my strong need for sexual servitude, and was undoubtedly the most memorable evening i have ever experienced. Having to cross-dress for my MISTRESS and to endure sexual abuse at her hands is at the same time one of the fearful and humiliating and yet most exciting experiences imaginable. D-- and her friends clearly enjoyed humiliating me and i very much enjoyed serving them.

i have been looking for a woman ever since who would enjoy a similar relationship. My whole being yearns to fulfill the needs of a dominant woman. Possess me, own me, let me obey your every whim, no matter how humiliating, perverse or exotic! Make me worship your buttocks and drink you nectar. Reward me by letting me taste the sweetness between your thighs.

Except for male homosexual activity and permanent physical damage that would force a confrontation with my wife, i will serve you in any way you wish. i want to serve you (and your girlfriends too if you like) in any way you desire. i long to serve your interests, no matter how perverse or degrading! While i am humiliated by having to bow down and show signs of obeisance to "the weaker sex" (no offense intended, M) at the same time the intense excitement i feel totally overwhelms my reluctance. i will serve as your maid, polish your boots, lap up my own cum or provide you with horsie rides. The most repulsive acts (rimming, for instance) may require restraints and a certain threat of force at first, but in the end MISTRESS' demands will be fulfilled. Even without restraints you can probable overpower me, as i am small (5'2", 124lbs).

Does MISTRESS know when she might like to meet her slave? And would you like me to bring any clothing, bondage devices, photographic equipment, etc? For how long would you like your slave to make himself available-- dinner or drinks only the first time, or an evening, overnight, longer?

M' lowly servant,

Tim

Dear Slave Tim:

Your recent letter was interesting and the pictures seem to indicate that you have had some decent training. However, when, and if, we meet, I will decide and tell you what arrangements to make. Before that time, your letters give an indication of the type slave you will make. You males are all just alike- you get so impatient for that cock of yours to feel good you become puppets on a string for us women.

My ex-husband was small like you (5'4", 140lbs) and he thought he was stronger than I was until one night he wanted my pussy and I didn't want to give him any. He tried to take it and found out who the "man" of the house really was. In no time, I had his arm twisted u behind his back and he was pleading with me to let him go. Instead, I got one of his ties out of the closet and tied his wrist tightly behind his back. Although we had discussed domination and submission, this was our first real experience into it and he found out real quick what his role was to be. I knew he enjoyed it though because his cock was harder than I had ever seen it before. I told him that before he ever got any of my pussy again that he would have to be extremely nice and do everything I told him. When he started whining and complaining, I took off my panties, stuffed them in his mouth and tied it in place with another of his ties. Then I made him watch while I played with myself and got off several times. I know his balls were hurting because he wanted to cum so bad, but I told him because he had been bad I was going to leave his hands tied all night so he couldn't jerk off. I finally took the gag out of his mouth and made him kneel down behind me and lick my ass. We went to bed and the next morning his cock was still so hard, but when I untied his hands I told him not to jerk off until I told him he could or I would tie him up again and make him miss work and he would have to suffer a lot longer with his swollen balls. Finally I made him kneel down in the middle of the living room, completely naked, and beg me let him jerk off. I told him he must start and stop exactly when I told him to. I would let him jerk on it for a while and then make him stop and this went on for some time until he finally exploded and his cum shot out all over the floor. When he was finished he started to getup but I told him to lick up his own cum. He looked at me pleadingly, but leaned down and began licking like a dog. He was realizing that our roles had changed and he was becoming submissive to me. Each night we could get further into his training as I began making him do the housework naked, waiting on me hand and foot, asking permission to jerk off, tieing him in all types of positions, spanking his ass, making him wear my panties to work and around the house, shoving dildoes up his ass and on and on. He slowly got used to his role with me and then I began making him do things in front of some of our friends. At first it was just women and then it was in front of other men. He was so humiliated and degraded, but I knew he really loved it because he could not control his cock from getting so hard. But if you're extra good, I'll tell you about the hooks and pulleys we installed in the ceiling.

I must go for now, slave. I know you're imagining yourself kneeling at my feet, liking my ass or pussy. Maybe I'll tell you about how I tied him to the toilet for an evening when we had company over and we were drinking a lot of beer. Can you guess what his role was? Also, tell me about your new woman some more. Write immediately, slave, and don't jerk off for four hours.

Your Mistress,

Paula

Slave Tim,

Your letter was received and noted that it was several days late in being written. I demand to be written immediately. Your transgressions are being carefully noted beside your name and when you have privilege to be with me you will be reminded of these things so you will know why such punishment is being given to you. You also must know and remember that the pain, humiliation, bondage, punishment and training methods I have used on both my male and female subjects have been exactly what they wanted to receive so as to achieve their maximum sexual satisfaction. No one has ever received such indignities they could not handle. No one has ever been physically hurt. In your case, you have already had slave training from you previous Mistress and I know from you letters that you desire stronger and different humiliating experiences. In the case of you friend Ann, you must tell me about her. It sounds as though she wants to be trained in some forms of submissiveness but maybe not in the same ones as you do. And beginners are so interesting to train, especially women. I haven't had the opportunity to train as many women as I have men. Males start out thinking they are being submissive as a joke, but done inside they crave the powerful dominance of a female and in no time at all they are crawling, begging, naked slaves unable to hid their extreme sexual desires as their cocks swell up so hard, thus betraying their true feelings.

My ex-husband had never had an experience with another man and he always denied wanting one. But when I threatened him with having to suck a man off his cock would show signs of arousal. He was initiated into bi-sexual ways by a female friend of mine who also had a very submissive boyfriend. Neither man was very large of too strong and so they were evenly matched. One night we had them there together stripped naked, and told them they were going to wrestle and the loser would be either fucked in the ass, suck off the winner or both. My friend and I thoroughly enjoyed their wrestling match and they did too because their cocks swelled up stiff and straight at their predicament. Finally my ex lost and when he was told to suck the other man off I really watching it. He was having a hard dick stuck in his mouth the same way he had done me for so long before our roles changed. Before he came we made him take it out, go get some vaseline and rub on his dick and put some in my ex's ass and then we watched him get fucked in the ass the same way as all me fantasize doing it to a woman. Afterwards my friend and I tied their hands behind their backs face them towards each other and died one end of a cord around my ex's balls and the other end around her slave's balls. We then played little games with their nipples asses thighs and wherever and they had to be very still and endure it. It was very stimulating to say the least.

Now slave, I must to. I command you to tell me more about Ann: her desires her fantasies, her description, her experiences into submissiveness etc. As a miserable, cunt licking, ass tonguing piss drinking male slave you seem to have possibilities. You gut need the right dominant woman to make you realize how much more training you need. Women will one day rule society and you males will all be slaves to us- just like you want it to be.

Your Mistress

Paula

Male Slave Tim

I must say you reacted as a true slave should be responding to my letter more promptly. Your photos were better this time and I am keeping them a little longer. However, you did not answer my questions about Ann satisfactorily and I have noted it. Tell me if she would like to see you crawl and beg while she licks my pussy or whether she would like to fuck your ass with a dildo or watch me piss golden drops into your waiting mouth- in other words exactly what would she like to see or do. Also, if she would like to write me herself, give her my address and ask her to write me.

You are right- males do not know to what levels of humiliation and degrading things they can do until they are properly trained by a truly dominant woman. At a get together on night for several swinging couples my ex- husband and I knew, he was tied facing the toilet, sitting on his ass, his face right at the edge of the seat, his wrists and ankles tied securely around the bowl. When our friends had arrived I demonstrated his purpose. I walked to the toilet, raised my dress, slid my panties down and straddled the seat. He watched and heard my golden drops of piss go into the bowl and when I had finished, I slid forward so that he could lick me dry. Next we all watched as a male friend also did the same and then slid forward and let him suck the tip end of his dick dry. Later on a girlfriend did it a little differently. She sat on the seat with her ass in his face while she pissed. He licked her asshole and stuck his tongue in as far as he could. Finally, she turned around and let him lick her hairy pussy dry.

I also enjoy tieing men very securely, so that they are completely helpless. I like to tie their wrists, elbows, ankles, knees, thighs with soft nylon, usually pantyhose so it doesn't cut. Then I stuff a pair of my panties in their mouth and tie a piece of nylon around their head to keep it in place. Then I call up a girl friend who comes over and we play with our helpless slave. We would tickle his ass with a feather, shove dildoes up his ass, suck on his cock just enough to keep it hard but not enough to cum, let him lick our pussy and asshole. Women love to see a helpless man because its usually always the other way around. One time I met a young girl, about 20, but who was very mature when it came to sex. My ex always got very humiliated when someone much younger that he was made him do things. This girl was dying to see him in action, so one night she came over. When he saw her he knew what was going to happen and he pleaded with me, but of course to no avail. I made him go out, drop his pants down to his ankles, push his shorts down to his knees and then I securely tied his wrists behind his back. She talked about his cock and the way he looked and acted and then told him to turn around so she could see his ass. His cock was stiff and hard of course, but he was humiliated at such a young girl telling him what to do. She made him lean over and she began sticking a candle up his ass and fucking him with it. Then she got in front of him, pulled her panties down and make him lick and kiss her ass. Then she told me he didn't do a very good job and should be spanked, which I promptly administered. When I got through she made him lie down over her legs while she sat on the sofa and she gave him another good hand spanking. He was so embarrassed, but he really enjoyed it all.

Slave, you must wait until I am ready to tell you we can meet. Then when you can arrange it is when we will get together. We have only had a few letters between us and I must take my time and be certain of you. If you can't wait, let me know and you can find another mistress. Write immediate- ly,

Your Mistress, Paula

Slave Tim, You are quite correct! You have a number of marks against your miserable name and this will definitely delay any thoughts of us meeting any time soon. You are just like all males- miserable scumbags hardly worthy of liking any woman's ass. I will await your IMMEDIATE reply detailing your sniveling, begging reasons as to why I should continue to waste my time on such a worthless piece of shit as yourself. If you do not satisfy me as to how low and worthless a piece of male meat that you are, you will never hear from me again. Beg, crawl, whine, plead you miserable pig of a man and I might let you continue being my slave- if you might possibly degrade yourself enough, your punishment will be such that you will never again be re-miss in carrying out my orders by writing immediately or asking permission to be excused. Also, you must send me a photo as degrading of you as is in your possession. I can tell your slave training has been limited to minor acts of humiliation. Respond immediately, slave, or be the lost, male pig searching for a mistress.

Your demanding Mistress, P

Slave Tim,

It has been decide by my young woman friend and I that your complete disregard of our authority cannot go unpunished. You will hand print the phrase "Please Mistress Debbie may I lick your asshole," one hundred times and include in your next letter. As for myself, you miserable pig, if you ever disobey me again, you could crawl all the way here on your knees and it wouldn't do any good. I expect a two- page typed letter, minimum, about what you would expect me to do to you as punishment for your complete failure as a slave. Your previous mistress must have been weak herself to allow no better discipline than you have. If these requests are not met in my expected time period, which I will not tell you, then again you will cease to exist as far as I am concerned. Also, if they are not carried out to the letter you need not waste your time writing back to me.

Your extremely pissed Mistress,

Paula

Slave Tim,

You are not only a worthless piece of male shit, you also have the mentality of your normal dumb male who thinks with the brains of his miserable dick. Mistress Debbie stated that you write her statement 100 times- not 103 times as you did. Such total lack of attention to commands indicates further your complete failure in your training as a male slave. Also, I demanded two pages detailing your being a piece of worthless shit and I received pages of your fantasies which I am sure caused your miserable cock to swell up and I'M sure you jerked off thinking of these things being done to you. You miserable asshole- you were not supposed to derive any type of satisfaction from your tasks. You were to be reminded how worthless a piece of shit you were for disobeying your mistress. Whoever the bitch was who supposedly trained you should have her own ass spanked for doing such a miserable job. She should be taken prisoner by Arab nomads and force to suck camel dicks and fucked by goats. Her impersonation of a female mistress has done you a great disservice. Any slave as yourself who is so sloppy in performing such routine commands should have hot wax poured into his asshole. Your Mistress Debbie and I have concluded that you must be impersonating as a slave, our to satisfy your own male desires and not those of your true female mistresses. Your training must begin all over and we must start with some basic information. Answer these questions very detailed in your next letter:

1. How often do you masturbate and by what method?

2. How often do you fuck your wife. Does she suck your cock? Do you suck her?

3. Have you ever worn panties to work? Pantyhose? Garter belt & stockings?

4. Have you actually kissed a woman's ass?

5. What type of spankings have you received, i,e, hand, belt, whip, etc.

6. Have you actually drinken a woman's piss?

7. What have you had inserted into your ass by either yourself or a woman.

8. Do you fantasize having to serve your wife as a male slave?

These are just a few of the very basic slave questions you will be asked. Your first letters indicated you had been though male discipline but your actions indicate otherwise. Mistress Debbie wanted to cut you off completely and let you suffer in your need for female domination since you obviously misled us to start with. You must realize, male slave, that you belong totally to a female and you learn to piss when she says piss, cum when she allows you the pleasure and very simply you are totally in her power and control. Without a dominant female you are a frustrated male unable to achieve satisfaction as you desire. You cannot survive without a strong, dominant female to stir your cock into arousal. To treat you as the worthless piece of male shit that you are. You are helplessly trapped in a male's body, but craving to be the dominant females we are. Another fuck-up you miserable, piss drinking, ass-kissing shit and Mistress Debbie will demand your termination.

Mistress Paula & Mistress Debbie

Slave Tim,

For once you have responded as a male slave should- exactly as he is commanded to do. Maybe there is some hope for you, but your probation with us continues. Now from this moment that you are reading this letter, for the next 48 hours you are NOT to have sexual release in any fashion or manner. Within the first 24 hours you are to put on a pair of your wife's panties for a period of no less than 30 minutes. You are to manually rub the head of your cock against the crotch that her pussy rubs into. BY NO MEANS ARE YOU TO CLIMAX. During the second 24 hour period you are to go into a store and purchase a new pair of pantyhose where the clerk is a male, like, a convenience store. You will then go somewhere, take them out and put your nose in the crotch and ass and in your mind you will fantasize them just being removed by Mistress Debbie. You will also suck these two areas. (If it is felt by your Mistresses that you have carried out our in- structions properly, a used pair of panties/pantyhose of ours will be sent to you.) You will then rub the pantyhose against your cock and balls and ass for no less than 20 minutes. These last instructions are to be carried out a minimum of 8 hours prior to the ending of your 48 hour abstinence of sexual release. YOU ARE ORDERED NOT TO CUM DURING THIS PERIOD OF 48 HOURS!!! Also, during all times of this period you are to sit with your legs slightly apart so any swelling of your cock may be noticeable to anyone around. Do not close or cross your legs while sitting. Your constant thoughts during these hours will be of you dressed in a very short, tight black maid's outfit with a very tightly laced corset underneath, a tight bra on (strapless), lacy, black bikini panties and matching garter belt, black hose and black high heel shoes. You would also be wearing lipstick, eye shadow, cheek lightener, perfume, blond wig and a maid's cap. A black leather studded collar will be around your neck and you serve both myself and Mistress Debbie for our every possible whim, if for nothing else other than to kneel between our legs and smell the female odor of our pussy. Carry these thoughts in your mind constantly for the next 48 hours.

Do not for any reason think that your last letter cleared you of all of your former worthless attempts at being a male slave. They absolutely did not. The enclosed photo is of Mistress Debbie and is for you to see in your thoughts during the above period. This photo is to be returned with your next letter. Remember you miserable piece of male scum, you are still definitely considered worthless to us. Any slight wrong step and you will be left to suffer for a true mistress.

Mistress Paula

Slave,

Mistress Debbie and I have decided to terminate our correspondence with you. The main reason, not that it is necessary to give you one, is that we now have two male whore slaves here to keep us amused and occupied. One id 42 and the other is 26 and their training is under way. Therefore, our time with and for you is very limited. Besides, Mistress Debbie felt you were a waste anyway, although you had shown signs of progress. As the worthless piece of shit that you are you must attempt to find another Mistress who might have more patience with you Paula

#072-38p, white female, 33, college graduate, separated, significant other knows of her interests, neither the youngest nor oldest child, strict religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically liberal, rarely depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends who have SM interests, was introduced to SM at the age of 22, has not used the services of a professional, is a professional, views SM as a lifestyle, does not believe SM helps her achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, dominant, humiliation oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

I have been doing this professionally & non-professionally so long that I have had many opportunities to re-enact any fantasies I may have had & even ones I never thought about.

I was married for over 12 years and have been separated for the past year and a half. I am living with a guy right now who is straight. The only thing he likes is stockings, garters and spiked high-heel shoes. We have an extremely good sexual relationship. He loves to performs oral sex on me. He also enjoys making love to me.

My ex-husband was an alcoholic & very abusive. I only stayed with him for my sons sake but he ended up ruining that too. He made it impossible for me to keep my son. He brought several magazines i was featured into court. As you stated [in the cover letter to the questionnaire, that those involved in SM are viewed as being dangerous] I might as well have been an ax murder. People have very closed minds when it comes to SM. The judge stated "how did he know I wouldn't throw my son out a window or worse", I told them if I haven't done it in over 10 years I sincerely doubted whether I would do such a thing. Well to make a long story short my son is living with my mother-in-law for the past two years.

I am still a professional and have very good clients. It's more psychological games and confrontations, Of course there are people who have convinced themselves they must be punished to be satisfied. I am very versatile and can adapt to whatever the situation requires.

Presently I am content. I finally feel love being returned as it should have been for so many years. If you need further assistance I would be more than happy to help. Afterall its been my lifestyle for the major years of my existence. Thank you for taking the time to ask questions that seem simple to me but complex for the majority of people.

Respectfully yours, Mistress S--

#073-30, white male, 53, high school graduate, never married, does not have a significant other, the youngest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, no political views, never depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends who have SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 15, has used the services of a professional, does not believe SM helps him achieve orgasm, is bisexual, dominant, [omitted]/7, pain oriented, does not know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

Was quite surprised to receive a SM questionnaire in my mail receiving box. You requested my sexual fantasy, so I will try to give it to you accurately. Please, first let me explain, I do not have normal sex anymore (Copulation). My gratification comes mostly from giving oral sex to females, and masturbating myself at the same time. My favorite fantasy is being tied in bondage spread eagled tied tight, having one girl sit on my face and urinate in my mouth, while another girl masturbates me. In other words she will force me to drink her Golden shower. Another fantasy is to have a female strap on a dildoe and put it forceably into my anus while I am in bondage and being masturbated by another female. Another fantasy of mine is to make it with a couple, I would like to lick a girl out after she had intercourse with her male mate. This is the reason I ran a add for females and couples. I also like cock and ball torture, it turns me on. I have had sessions with mistresses taken out of adds, but found them unsatisfying and non gratifying. These mistresses are only interested in money and watch the clock. I could never realize my fantasies with them so I resorted to placing my own add, without too much success. It is very difficult to find some females could fulfill my fantasies and at the same time enjoy doing it and getting sexual satisfaction at the same time. I do know there are females who enjoy this sort of sex, but I just can't find them there are other fantasies I would like to try but just can't find a suitable partner. If there was any way you could help me find people who share the same interests (females or couples) I would love to hear from them, as a submissive I am. If this could be done, I would gladly participate in your further studies and am sure I could go into minute detail so you really obtain information about your subject or studies. it seems to be getting harder to masturbate with out some SM fantasy to think about. With out it I can not cum.

#074-628, white male, 46, post graduate, married, significant other knows of his interests, the oldest child, strict religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically conservative, sometimes depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, not sure if he has friends who have SM interests, discovered SM through pornography, first recognized at age 20, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM sometimes helps him achieve orgasm, is a forced bisexual, versatile, 0/0, humiliation oriented, does not know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Computer printout.

A submissive is available to me: She has a "Linda Carter" figure with very large tits. 40-D is too small. As I recline my easy chair, she leaves the room, dressed very conservatively in a way that hides her physical attributes.

A tape or record begins to play erotic music to strip by. She reappears, again completely robed but this time wearing a bathrobe. She removes (slowly) all of my clothes. She then binds me confortably but firmly with cloth bonds, spread on my back, to a 4-post bed or coffee table, etc. Again she leaves the room. (The music stops)

Later, she returns and acts as if I am invisible. She sits in a chair before me, & very slowly begins to rock. She is Horny! She opens a small box & very carefully, in full view, inserts (2) benwa balls. Comfortable again, she begins rocking very slowly. Gradually her rove falls open. As she feels the Benwa effect she lifts her naked tits in her hands to begin slowly to play with her boobs. She does not touch her clit. She does not go to complete orgasm but suddenly rises, puts away the Benwa, and leaves the room...

The strippers music begins again. She enters the room, still clad in the long rove. Slowly she removes the robe. The entire strip tease is very slow & erotic. Her costume is black, or shiny blue or yellow, she wears fish net hose with high heels. A garter belt & G-string. An under-bra that lifts and separates. No pasties, unless when removed I'm not going to get a mouthfull of spirit gum.

Slowly she strips, rubbing against me & teasing mercilessly with her tits. When naked, she attaches a comfortable ball leash, made of soft handkerchiefs to my testicles. Then she "extracts" the exact amount of my mouth and tongue she wishes for her tits, her pussy, & whatever.... Using her least [leash] to "fine-tune" compliance.

Finally, I am released &, in my recliner again, I take slave at will, reveling in tits, etc.

Note: This fantasy dictates that slave "knows" she is surrounded by guards, that there is no escape, & that she must do all required of her.

P.S. Please do not return this fantasy description. There is the remote possibility that my wife might open your letter, so please be discreet. She doesn't approve!

#075-305, white female, 28, some college, married, significant other knows of her interests, an only child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, no political beliefs, never depressed for over a week, sometimes feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, not sure if she has friends who have SM interests, was introduced to SM by another person at the age of 17, tries to meet by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of her interests in SM, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, submissive, 2/208, pain oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand- written.

I have just recently become more open-minded about my "unusual sex interest", thanks to books [magazines] like Letters, Variations and so on. It made me realize I'm not so strange or the only one who feels like I do. Also, having just remarried four months ago to a really terrific guy who understands what I need, has helped me enjoy my SM without feeling like some pervert. I'd like to share a fantasy which involves a lot of what really happens during our SM activities.

I started off my day like any other. Getting up at 6:30 am, waking my husband and kids. After breakfast and sending the kids off with the sitter, I get ready for work. Only today I'm not really in the mood for work, so I decide I'll work for half a day then come home ill, and lay in the warm sun until time for my husband to come home. When I tell him of my plans, he gets very upset. He tells me I'm very immature by lying to take time off and pushing the responsibilities of my job off on to my co-workers. "You are going to work and you will stay all day", he tells me in a very angry voice.

I calm him down by agreeing, yet knowing I'm not going to listen. I'm always home from work about 1/2 hour before him, so if I'm very careful to change back into my work clothes before he arrives home, he'll never no the difference. I kiss him goodbye and walk out the door smiling as I think of the marvelous day ahead.

I mention a slight headache to several of my co-workers to help back up my plan. Around 11:00 I fake an upset stomach and a more severe headache. As planned, my boss tells me to go home and get into bed. I protest saying there's too much work for me to leave but at his insistence I'm soon on my way home.

Once there, I grab my shorts and halter, a blanket and sun tan lotion. The sun never felt so good before. I turned on the radio and took a cold soda from the fridge. I glanced at my watch-- 1:00-- 3 1/2 hours before I had to put my work clothes back on so my husband wouldn't suspect anything! It was going to be a great afternoon.

I'm laying in the backyard, so relaxed and happy, when all of a sudden I hear the back door slam. I look up to see my husband glaring at me. I know my mouth dropped open with shock of getting caught. He walked over to me and grabbed me by the wrist. "Get up and get into the house. I'm going to teach you never to lie to me or anyone else again!" I tried to get away but his grip was firm. I'd never seen him so angry before and I was scared.

He pulled me into the house and into our living room. There I saw what was in store for me. Our piano bench was in the middle of the room with my flat back wooden hairbrush on it! "NO", I screamed and tried to run, but any attempt to get away was useless. He sat down on the bench and practically threw me over his lap. He pulled my wrist around and held it near the small of my back and put his leg over mine to keep them from kicking. Trapped-- and I knew he was really mad. I was crying before he even started to lecture me about lying to him, my friends, and my boss. I begged him, I promised I'd never lie again, but he told me "You're acting like a spoiled brat! You do whatever is necessary to get your own way and I'm tired of it. So I'm going to treat you like I would any other misbehaving little girl!".

With that he picked up the hairbrush and brought it down hard on my ass. I screamed at the first shot of pain. He hit me again until my backside was on fire and I was really crying. Finally he set the brush down and I was so thankful that it was over until he grabbed the waistband of my shorts and yanked them down over my already sore ass. "Please, no more! I'll be good, I'll listen. Please don't spank me any more.", I cried, but he just picked up the brush again and started spanking me even harder on my bare ass. The pain was almost unbearable as blow after blow came down on my tender behind. After an eternity, with me in near hysterics, he laid the brush down. As he released his hold on me, I tried to stand up, but I was shaking and my butt hurt so badly I couldn't. So my husband helped me up and led me upstairs to our bedroom. He laid me down on my stomach and took my shorts the rest of the way off. I was still sobbing when I heard him running water. Next thing I knew he was putting cold compresses on my bruised and swollen behind. It felt really good. It were as if the pain was gone but the fire had spread to the rest of my body. He told me as he applied the towels how sorry he was that he'd been so severe but that lately my behavior and disobedience had been so bad that catching me in a lie had been the last straw. He told me right then how much he loved me, but that whenever I misbehave I know what the punishment is. With that he turned me over and gave me a very passionate kiss, which I returned with a great deal of lust. Even though I could barely stand the thought of being on my backside, I was instantly so horney I could have raped my husband. Needless to say we had an explosive love making session. And though I dread having to use a cushion at work for three days ever again, the rewards that follow a punishment session frequently have me scheming up more lies I could get caught in. I guess I really am spoiled now!

QUESTION: Do you find the thought of "unusual" sex more or less exciting than actual unusual sex? (Or put another way, is fantasy more fun than reality.)

Certain types of unusual sex are better left to be read about or fantasized than actually done. I enjoy reading about animal sex for example, but wouldn't want to be involved in it.

QUESTION: Do you feel emotionally safe and secure when you are in an unusual sexual relationship?

I feel more secure with my unusual sexual relationships because I feel if my husband loves me enough to satisfy my strange need and gets enjoyment from it, I don't have anything to feel worried about.

QUESTION: During a session, do you ever find yourself "merging" or "identifying" with your partner?

No. During a session I'm totally aware of me-- not as "us". I am the submissive and there are times I wonder how he feels when he's in total control but I wouldn't call it excitement.

QUESTION: Does the thought of sexual blackmail excite you?

Definitely! The idea that my husband expects something in return for sex does excite me. For example-- if I don't screw my husband and satisfy him in 15 minutes he'll tie me up, spank me, then fuck me until he's satisfied. And he won't fuck me gently-- I'll usually be sore for two days after an episode like that. But I'll love every minute.

QUESTION: How important is bondage to you? Please give an example of the type of bondage you practice (if any).

Bondage is not as important to me as to my husband. When he disciplines me he doesn't mind me kicking my legs but if my hands are loose, I sometimes hit or pinch him while he's spanking. So now he either ties my hands with rope or handcuffs them in front of me so that I can't do a damn thing.

QUESTION: You are playing strip poker with three other people, with the losers becoming the sex slaves of the winner for the night. Everyone is down to just one article of clothing. What happens?

The other three people are my husband and another couple. The man with the other lady wins. He orders all of us to strip and play with ourselves till we are good and horney. The he tells his wife to lie down, tells me to eat her pussy while my husband butt fucks me. We bring each other to incredible orgasms while he masturbates. Then we all have an orgy, switching partners all night long.

QUESTION: You are at a slave auction. Are you being bought or are you purchasing? Who do you buy or who buys you?

I would be the merchandise at a slave auction. A gorgeous, filthy rich Arab buys me to add to his slave harem.

I am taken to his place and whisked away to be bathed and dressed before seeing my new master to be told of my duties. When I am presented to him, I must kneel with my head bowed. He explains I was bought to keep him happy, and fulfill his every desire. If I fail to do so I will be dealt with severely! "Yes, Master", I agree. It will be a pleasure to keep this hunk of a man happy!

QUESTION: Do you feel that the "straight" media-- books, movies, television, etc.-- accurately depict the unusual scene and the people involved in it? If not, why?

The straight media depicts most unusual sex as porno or worse. That presents a problem for us in being honest about our likes openly for fear of being put down.

QUESTION: How important are rules and rituals to you in your unusual fantasies and relationships?

Rules and rituals are very important to me. As a submissive, rules and regulations are a lifestyle. And of course consistency of these rules and punishments play a major part. I cannot be punished today for something and allowed to get away with it tomorrow. Having to stand in the corner before and after a spanking is a ritual which enhances my feelings. Without that most of the fear/excitement would not be there.

QUESTION: How did you tell your husband about your interests?

When I was old enough to buy sex magazines and discovered articles on the subject of spanking, every pay day I'd go by new books. I still do. Of course my husband enjoys reading these books, too, so I'd circle the articles of a certain nature or bend the corners. When he asked me about them I told him how they made me feel and started telling of my experiences with it. He seemed interested and told me the next time I misbehaved around him I'd be in for a surprise. Sure enough, I didn't get the laundry done one day and he ran out of socks. He was upset and told me it was time for my surprise. He sat down in a chair, pulled me over his knees and spanked me good and hard. When he let me up he could tell I was ready to cry and was scared he might have hurt me. I gave him a very loving kiss, told him how much I loved him and we went upstairs and screwed. While we were laying in bed resting he told me he got kinda turned on by having that much control over me. I told him how much I enjoyed his being in command-- we've been at it ever since.

QUESTION: What happens during one of your sessions?

Our sessions usually start in the morning. Before we leave for work my husband will pat my ass and ask how I feel. If I'm in the mood for a spanking I'll sort of tease him or wiggle my ass and he knows I'll be thinking of mischief to get into all day to provoke a spanking later that night. So later that evening, I do little things I know he doesn't like-- for example, bite my fingernails, splash water on him while I'm doing the dishes, walk out on the front porch with just my shortie nightgown on.

He'll grab my arm and say that I'm being naughty and deserve a spanking. I get sort of sassy and call him a meanie or something. Then he sends me to our bedroom and I have to stand in the corner, and think about how badly I've behaved, usually for 15 minutes. Then he comes upstairs, sits on the edge of the bed, and orders me to lie across his knees for my punishment. If I refuse or give him a hard time it means additional swats. So usually I lay over his lap and try to take it the best I can. Since he uses a wooden paddle on my bare ass, it's always very painful and I cry and kick all during it. After 25 or so hard smacks he'll let me up.

But I can't put my hands back or pull up my pants until I stand in the corner 15 minutes more. And I have to apologize before I can put myself back together.

QUESTION:: What equipment and clothing have you purchased during the past year.

We haven't bought a lot cause we aren't rich but we have tried to use our imagination. We bought a wooden paddle, handcuffs, clothesline (for restraints), a white lace teddi, sexy lace bikini underwear. Nothing is very expensive but it's all very practical and useful.

QUESTION: Please discuss your view of the unusual as sometimes being a form of foreplay and sometimes a lifestyle.

Spanking as foreplay is used when I'm in a good mood. Happy, carefree, feeling like a kid. Spanking as a lifestyle or for actual punishment can come no matter what.

QUESTION: Were there things about the unusual which turned you off when you first heard about them, but which now turn you on?

Yes there were a few things I thought were disgusting that I now like. Anal sex, oral sex, even French kissing (I used to be really straight). But I learned if your with someone you love, and they love you back, as long as you both agree, anything goes!

#076-62, white female, 38, some college, married, significant other knows of her sexual interests, neither the youngest nor oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically liberal, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, not sure if she has friends who have SM interests, discovered SM through reading pornography at about the age of 30, tries to meet others through ads, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is a forced bisexual, usually submissive, humiliation oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests.

In response to your questionnaire, I will attempt to convey to you my idea, or should I say fantasy that I would like to have.

I desire to be abducted, taken to a remote area, probably a deserted cabin, there my captor would proceeds to violently remove my outer garments, leaving me with only a garter belt, hose and heels. My captor would then proceed to spread eagle me in a standing position, attaching my wrists with leather restraints to a beam above, and securing my ankles to some type of device that is fastened to the floor. After that my captor would proceed to violate my anus and vagina with various foreign objects until I am trembling. After that has been accomplished, my captor would secure the objects that were used to me in such a manner that I would be unable to expel them or force them out. Then my writs restraints would be released and I would be forced to my knees, still with the objects inserted in my anus and vagina. My captor then would insert some type of short tube or device that would result in forcing my mouth open and at the same time depressing my tongue so that I would be unable to move it in efforts to cover what is in my mouth. Then my captor would proceed to masturbate himself; at the time of his ejaculation he would let it ejaculate onto my face and into the opening of my mouth. Since my tongue is depressed, I would be unable to expel his semen, I would have to swallow it, against my desires and wishes, outwardly that is, however my inner desire is to accept it. After this was accomplished, my captor would proceed to urinate over my face and into my open mouth, mixing the residue of his warm semen with the warmth of his urine. I would be compelled to accept all of it, I would have no alternative but to accept it. After that was accomplished, I would then be forced onto all fours, with my buttocks fully exposed. My captor would then remove the objects from my vagina and anus, and then place clamps on my nipples, only after having bound my breasts so that they are distorted into a balloon shape. After the clamps are attached to my nipples he would then proceed to add weights to the clamps, forcing the clamps to bite on my nipples even more as they pull them in a downward direction. Them my captor would remove his belt from his trousers and then proceed to spank my exposed buttocks; after that he would then proceed to whip my breast-- each lash against my breast would result in the weights affixed to the clamps to dance in various directions, further adding discomfort and pain to my breast and nipples which by this time would be totally inflamed and erect, except where the teeth of the clamps were forcing them closed.

This is my fantasy that I wish to live someday, unfortunately this has not happened.

I would be glad to explain what I have been subjected to as a submissive, if you desire to obtain further information.

#077-95, white male, 41, some college, divorced, significant other knows of his interests, neither the youngest nor oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically liberal, rarely depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, not sure if he has friends who have SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at the age of 12, tries to meet through ads and by introducing others to SM, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM sometimes helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, submissive, 1/20, pain oriented, does not know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Handwritten.

I am primarily interested in spanking. I find that turning a mature female over my knee and spanking her is very erotic and very intimate. I have had a few experiences with women that thought it very silly and were not able to understand the intimacy involved. I also had a girl friend some time ago that in the early stages of our relationship she eagerly submitted to my spanking her with hand, paddle and strap. This took place for approx 2 years at which time her interest waned and a short time later we parted company. We are still the best of friends and I still fantasize spanking her.

I like to act out the little girl getting spanked by me. In other words, a mature female dressing up in the schoolgirls fashion. Also the errant wife or girl friend needing a spanking.

I do not have a girl friend at the present time. I guess I'm trying to hold off any serious relationships in hopes I will find a female that is simply interested in and likes spanking without any pretense for a reason to be spanked.

#078-109, white male, 26, some college, married, significant other knows of his interests, an oldest child, some religious training, strong religious beliefs, politically liberal, rarely depressed for over a week, sometimes feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, unsure if he has friends who have SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, has not tried to meet others, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM sometimes helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, versatile, pain oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was sexually abused but does believe that he was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Computer printout.

I have several fantasies, but the my favorite concerns the student/teacher situation.

I am in Jr. High school (7th or 8th grade) and am in a class with an attractive teacher in her mid to upper twenties who has a reputation as a strict disciplinarian. During the school year I have heard several of my friends (both male and female) recount the spankings they had received from her. Even though I try to evoke her wrath, the best I can seem to accomplish is detention. On the next to the last day of the school year I get up enough courage to tell her that I had heard about the spankings my friends had received and that I felt I deserved one. She agreed that if I felt I needed one I should receive it, and invited me into her office. I asked her if she would wait until the next day and call me down in class so that everyone in the room would know. She agreed.

The next day, during the morning session, she calls me to her desk and informs me that she is aware of my cheating on an exam and tells me to stay in at recess for a spanking. I return to my desk amid whispered warnings from my classmates of the trouble I am in.

Finally, recess arrives. Everyone leaves the room except me. The teacher takes me by the hand and leads me into her office and tells me to stand in the corner and think about what's going to happen. After what seems like an eternity, she says something to the effect of "Come here you naughty boy, it's time for your spanking". When I turn I see her standing there dressed stylish but conservatively with the paddle in her hand. She tells me that I have been very bad and orders me to pull down my pants and shorts and bend over her lap. I tell her that I have never been spanked on my bare bottom and she says that is obviously past time for me to experience one. I bend over and she paddles me until I cry. When it is over she stands me up and tells me to go stand in the corner. After a few minutes, she tells me to pull up my pants and go outside with my friends. She also warns me to be good in the future.

There are many variations to this theme but this is the main one. I have not expressed the fantasy to my wife, she does spank me occasionally and I act out this fantasy without her knowledge.

#079-31, white female, 39, some college, divorced, significant other knows of her interests, a twin, strict religious training, no religious beliefs, politically liberal, sometimes depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, discovered SM through the legitimate media, from pornography, and by being introduced to it by another person, first recognized at age 18, tries to meet through ads and at SM clubs, has not used the services of a professional, is a professional, vacillates in the intensity of her interests in SM, believes SM sometimes helps her achieve orgasm, is bisexual, dominant, pain oriented, 600/500, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

I've acted out most of my fantasies. If you would like to talk to me, call-- I've been into B&D for 21 years, 8 years as a professional.

Mistress --

In response to a follow-up questionnaire:

Dear Sir:

I'm sorry I haven't gotten back with you before now, but I've been working on a video and doing shows in New York.

QUESTION: What were your earliest unusual sexual fantasies at the age of 18?

You phrase this "unusual", unusual to who? To society? It is definitely more exciting and probably 50% fantasy 50% QUESTION: Do you prefer your usual sexual relations to be warm and loving or cold and impersonal?

This depends on the person, I would prefer my relationships to be loving and warm. Wouldn't anyone? The only time I would want it to be cold, is when I do not care for the person and he is paying for a session.

QUESTION: As a professional, how important is erotic clothing to you?

Clothing I believe to be a help, it does set the stage. A persons appearance is judged by society when he or she applies for a job. Or it is when it comes to sex, it is very important. Why do you think prostitutes dress up?

QUESTION: Were you spanked as a child, or have you seen other children being spanked?

Sure I've seen kids get spanked, every child does, it's how you perceive it. I came from a very strict family, I was disciplined when I needed it. But overall, not anymore than I should have been.

QUESTION: What type of scenes turn you on?

I was in New York a few months ago at Hellfire. [An SM club] I saw an extremely beautiful girl there get fucked by 20 guys or so. She was dressed very sexy, maybe she looked cheap? Well somewhere in between. Anyway, she sucked and fucked these guys in front of a crowd of about 100 people. I liked that.

QUESTION: Does the thought of sexual blackmail excite you?

I threaten sexual blackmail to my slaves all the time, but I would not really do it. The idea I like.

QUESTION: Do you feel most "professionals" have an interest in SM, or do they just do it for the money?

If the person is truly sincere they have a definite interest or otherwise they would go broke. You have to enjoy what you are doing in order to be successful. I've been professionally advertising for nine years. I am the longest professional in the business and very successful. I enjoy it. My prime concern is not the money. If you are good at what you do the money will follow. This applies to anything.

QUESTION: How important is bondage to you in your personal life?

Bondage is important, I practice oriental style rope bondage. Basically from Japan, with rope. I'll try to find some photos for you.

QUESTION: If you were to try to explain to a "straight" person about the unusual, and what you got out of it, what would you say?

The person would have to be pretty dumb not to see what is gained from anything other than oral or intercourse. If they have any kind of intelligence he or she would see it's a waste not to carry out any fantasy they might have. In some cases I suppose it could be harmful but I handle it very well. I think its healthy for everyone. I think everyone has to have some kind of sexual outlet, I do. For me its a way of excitement, like getting shot at, or being in a car wreak, I'm not talking about the pain, it's the feeling you have seconds before the actual impact. That surge of energy. Its beyond the feeling of power or of an orgasm. It's the feeling of wanting to live, that this is what live is about. Becoming one within yourself. It's the surge of life that you can do anything. That's what I get out of it.

QUESTION: You are playing strip poker with three other people. It's down to the last hand. What happens:?

I cheat, win the game they do as I say. You didn't say whose cards they are playing with. Then they learn Mistress do not play games (They were my cards)

QUESTION:You are at a slave auction. Are you buying or are you being sold?

I wouldn't waste my money on a male slave, he would have to pay me. But I would buy a female slave, she'd have to be very pretty.

QUESTION: Your slave forgets to mail a letter. What happens?

This just happened the other day, not once, but three times:

1) first time, "Joe, did you mail the letters?"

"No, Mistress, I forgot."

"You forgot, OK mail them tomorrow"

2) second time, "OK, did you mail the letters?"

"No, forgot"

"Didn't I tell you to mail those letters, fuck head?", yelling.

"Yes"

"Do it now," pushing him out the door.

3) third time, This time I grabbed him by the neck, shook him and threatened to beat the fuck out of him

. QUESTION: Why did you decide to become a professional? How did you go about it?

I decided to become a "pro", basically for the money. It is very hard for a woman, in todays society, to make 40-50-60 thousand [in 1984 dollars] with only a few years college or even with a degree. I had been into B/D for a number of years before becoming a pro, but it is not the same. I first put myself a costume together, got a small amount of B/D equipment, took a few photos and submitted these photos to various magazines for ads.

A private individual will deal only with a limited number of people, perhaps five or ten at the most. After a period of time you know what those people like or dislike. So therefore you can only be educated to their desires and limits. The professional has a wider number of people so therefore will learn more over a shorter period of time. Also the individual knows the persons they deal with and the pro at first does not. It is only through proper screening and trust you will learn something of that person. But the possibilities exist that you may never see that person again.

I was first introduced to B/D by a friend, it started with me dressing in black nylons, corset, etc. One thing lead to another, I tried being submissive and switching roles. That was fun, but I enjoy the power I have over men when I'm the dominant. At first I said to myself it was weird, but not so strange, I am willing to try anything once.

Question: Were there things you didn't like doing at first, that you now find a turn-on?

I never did like giving enemas. Just the thought of something going in someone's rectum. But now it's not so bad, I kind of get off on it. I still do not like peeing and shitting on people. I do it once and a while but hate it. Everything else is kind of fun. Question: Do you ever have any female clients?

Yes I do see females, but not that often. I think this is probably because women are especially submissive. I read somewhere (Discover Mag?) that this was due to hormones. I do not see that many because women are not attracted to me as much as if I were a man. I'm sure if I were a man and magazines were available to women, as much as to men, I would have them lined up. I see only a few women per year maybe 5 or 6. I have seen many couples, maybe 15 or 20 per year. The rest are single males.

#080-135a, white male, 65, college graduate, married, significant other does not know of his interests, a youngest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, sometimes depressed for over a week, often feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, not sure if he has friends who have SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 8, has not tired to meet others, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, usually dominant, 0/0, pain oriented, does not know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests.

SM FANTASY

At some appropriate time and place in history, the accused, slender brunette female, middle twenties, is brought before the seat of authority for judgment. The judge/headmaster/priest/shaman condemns her and pronounces her sentence to appropriate punishment (corporal or capital)

Male attendants then take custody of her and lead her off to prepare her for the execution. They handle her, not violently, but with professional competence. She is subdued and cooperative, but obviously frightened. They prepare her with great care and practiced skill.

First, she is given an enema, to prevent any "messiness" later. Then she is shaved in some appropriate manner. (Entire body for witchcraft; buttocks, for strapping or caning; pubes and anus for implement; neck for hanging or beheading; entire head for electrocution). She cannot resist, but weeps quietly. Finally, she is bathed and groomed and dressed in a penitent's gown.

At the place of execution a small group of solemn witnesses await. She again faces the person who has condemned her and hears her sentence read again. Attendants then remove her gown and strap her in or upon the appropriate device. With solemn deliberation her sentence is then carried out. END OF STORY.

Obviously, the real "kick" in this is the prolonged and painstaking preparation process. The execution of her sentence is necessary, but almost anti-climatic.

My SM interest is only in fantasy. I have no desire to be a participant. By nature I am a very mild and kindly person.

#081-69, white female, 38, post graduate, married, significant other knows of her interests, an only child, some religious training, strong religious beliefs, no political beliefs, sometimes depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or per- verted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, was introduced to SM by another person at about the age of 20, tries to meet others through ads and at SM bars and clubs, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of her interests in SM, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, usually dominant, 2/50, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has one main fantasy. Handwritten.

Definition of SM:

There are many; slave and master, sadist and dominant, passive and active, top and bottom. But to me it is dominance vs. submission were one of the parties involved "by choice" selects to acquiesce to the domination of the other.

Fantasy: Fortunately or unfortunately I have only one remaining fantasy and that is of recent origin. It evolved when I broke up with my latest lover (2 months ago). In the fantasy he becomes my slave (there was some slight SM within our sexual relationship) totally and completely. The scene begins with his legs and wrists in bondage, a full leather hood is employed. Then he is given a four quart enema (not his scene) very slowly while he must service me orally-- which as he well knows has little if any effect on me. Eventually he's allowed to evacuate the water and in the process a friend of mine arrives unbeknownst to him. Hood still on, he is then taken by my male friend with verbal humiliation from both of us. Then as he is gay (generally-- he rarely plays with females. I'm his 15 year exception), I fist him. This completed and my friend leaves with Roger never having seen him, he then must fist me. The relationship ended over fisting- - he is very glad to receive but feels it cannot and should not be done to females-- although he is aware that others have done so.

I should explain that I never have any type of sexual contact with my slaves, other than occasional boot licking. Where with a lover naturally there is and in almost all instances some aspect of SM generally with the male passive. The only time I go passive (and within the gay scene it is not considered passive nor SM) is where fisting is concerned. Granted this is not an area with which the hetero SM population is experienced, but within the gay scene it is frequent and normal. For this reason my last seven lovers have been gay, but in this latest affair when he refused repeatedly to fist me the relationship ceased, and I have other offers.

But then this fantasy has been done just with other persons and slightly different situations. [When I sent this person a follow-up questionnaire, I asked her if she was interested in anal fisting, instead of vaginal fisting. Fisting involves inserting the entire hand into the anus (or vagina). It is usually thought of as a male homosexual activity.]

Your assumption of my FF (fist fucking) preference is correct! Vaginal can be enjoyable, and is safe even with an inexperienced partner therefore more readily available. Yet anally the sensations (even without a prostrate gland) is much greater and with sufficient practice one can accommodate 1 hand in each location or 2 anally (2 vaginally is physically impossible without dilation (or so a gynecologist into FF has told me). Even if 2 hands are undesirable one still has a free arm for other digital stimulation. Oddly enough the only women I know into vaginal FF seriously are lesbians; the heteros seem to do it rarely. For my part it is only with my lover or very experienced gay partner since I've yet to meet a hetero male with any experience. You asked regarding the differences between my slaves and lover. Basically I have one lover at a time, while I can have six slaves at once plus a lover. Slaves I see at my convince on the average of once every two weeks while I see my lover 4-5 times a week. Again it's sexual with a lover while totally non-sexual (sensuality is fine) with a slave, But the major difference is that if there is any S- M taking place between myself and my lover it is mutual. Another words with my latest (he is gay and passive into FF) there may be some inhibition depending on where we are at, verbal humiliation bondage golden showers, etc. but eventually it culminates in sex. But the same token I permit him to FF me which is as passive as I go. He knows this and reacts accordingly to please me, even if it is out of character for him. A slave would never be permitted this license. If you require a fine line drawn I am monogamous sexually but polygamous with slaves.

The decision on who is a slave vs lover is entirely subjective. "DC" was due to his sexual abilities. "Animal" due to his verbal head trips, and Barry the latest due to his FF abilities; although all are experienced in this area. Slaves generally tend to be heterosexuals (lovers for the past 5--6 years have been homosexual), totally passive and willing to be told- ordered regarding our relationship whereas with a lover its mutual whatever. There is no social life with slaves yet there is with a lover etc. Not easy to describe but generally also much less S-M with a lover (frequently none other than verbal or by innuendo).

How do I decide who is a lover vs slave other than this I cannot say and the only thing the last 4 have in common is dark hair, full beards and hairy chests. Sorry I cannot be of more help in this area.

QUESTION:Do you find the thought of unusual sex more or less exciting than actual unusual sex? (Or put another way, is fantasy more fun than reality?)

Fantasy is much more interesting than usual "normal" sex even in reality. Unusual sex has many more variables than normal sex so leaves many more doors open to explore.

QUESTION: Do you feel that a professional dominant or submissive really has an interest in his/her role, or is just in it for the money?

Having known a number of professionals I've yet to meet one who is not in it for the money. As I have been told, "as a hooker I had to strip, have sex, possibly get a case [of VD], and be nice. As a dominant I can charge twice the price, not have to strip or have sex, not get a dose or be sweet. I'd have to be stupid to stay a hooker, besides I can't get busted as a dominant. Enough said?

QUESTION: How important is bondage to you?

I use bondage only when necessary to keep a slave where I want him when I feel he may rebel. As an example during a punishment enema.

QUESTION: If you were to try to explain to a "straight" person what unusual sex is about and what you got out of it, what would you say?

S/M, B/D is an adjunct to normal sex and most persons are into it whether they realize it or not. It need not be whips and chains and bloody-- more frequently it's the nip on the nipple, the hicky which can be embarrassing in public, or continuing when one partner says stop but you inherently know its not meant. It may be bondage but string can be used as readily as rope, since it meant to be more psychological than physical frequently. Having one partner tied down with sewing string which is easily breakable can be a heavy scene. Heavy in that this person must try NOT to break the string, anotherwords, accept all that transpires without wiggling, squirming, etc. Granted in some instances it can and does involve ropes, chains and even in extremes blood but those are extremes. Likewise the common use of dildoes was, and still is, often classified as unusual sex-- all depending on a person's definition. But those that use it as an adjunct to their sex find it an added stimuli and a way to work out some of their fantasies.

Personally I find it a greater turn on physically and mentally because it adds new stimuli in various ways and times. By adding a few "toys" you have added dozens of possible new activities.

QUESTION: Do you feel that the "straight" media-- books, movies, television, etc. accurately depict the unusual scene?

No! Actually they are doing better now then they did 10 years ago, but it still leaves a lot to be desired. The films, books etc seem to dwell only on the heavy scene that seeks impact of not reality. They often go beyond the point of sensuality and where a person would stop. As an example a turpentine enema in a book may sound great but in reality could kill the receiver if not will definitely major problems and hospitalization. Fisting is now being depicted more and more (ala Caligula) but if it were done as in the film the muscle would be torn and require surgical repair. If he had nails possibly a colostomy.

#082-16/4003, white female, 35, some college, married, significant other knows of her interests, an only child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically liberal, never depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, unsure if she has friends who have SM interests, was introduced to SM by another person at the age of 30, tries to meet others through ads, has not used the services of a professional, believes SM does not help her achieve orgasm, is bisexual, dominant, 3/8, humiliation oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has one main fantasy. Hand- written.

The only fantasy I have is to give back to my ex-husband the abuse I got from him twice over.

I was an abused wife both physically and mentally.

My fantasy would be to tie him up and make him beg me to untie him. I would then slowly start beating him with various whips. I would tell him he was lower than the ground I walk on and he should be lucky to have me have him in my presence.

I would beat him within an inch of his life. I would then let him be by himself for several hours and then have someone let him loose and he could be out of my life forever.

#083-768, Hispanic male, 32, college graduate, never married, no significant other, a youngest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically conservative, rarely depressed for over a week, sometimes feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, unsure if he has friends who have SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 9, tries to meet by introducing others to SM, has used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, dominant, 1/3, humiliation oriented, does not know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has one main fantasy. Hand-written.

A young girl (legal age) is dressed in a short pleated skirt, white blouse & panties-- no stockings. She is about to be soundly spanked. She is first scolded & told the nature of her misbehavior. the spanking is in a classroom in front of other students or at home (guests present). Skirt up, panties down spanking until the girl is crying & carrying on like a 5 year old. Then to the corner with her bare bottom on display.

#084-722, white male, 43, college graduate, never married, significant other knows of his interests, an oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically conservative, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, tries to meet others through ads and at SM bars, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is homosexual, dominant, 8/100, humiliation oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was sexually abused but does believe that he was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand- written.

Fantasy(ies) (often acted out)

Bringing a man home in handcuffs

Making him kneel at my feet head bowed and beg me to use him-- he is to be my property.

putting on chaps, a vest, a motorcycle cap, gloves and boots,

Making him strip for me to watch-- bending over and spreading his cheeks and staying there while I start to spank his ass--

tying him to the foot of the bed showing him the paddle and whip telling him just how much it will hurt and making him beg me to beat him--

Sexual games are my choosing (his limits are to set up front and are respected) his orgasm will be allowed only if I'm pleased and then only after I'm completely satisfied.

He must be willing to sleep close to me and often to be put through the paces at least once more that night.

Other favorite activities TT [tit torture], C&BT [cock and ball torture] (a real favorite) verbal abuse (constantly) foul language-- any and or all of the above in a session.

#085-282, white male, 32, post graduate, married, significant other knows of his interests, an oldest child, some religious training, strong religious beliefs, politically conservative, sometimes depressed for over a week, often feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, not sure if he has friends who have SM interests, discovered SM through reading pornography at the age of 14, has not tried to meet others, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, versatile, 1/6, humiliation oriented, does not know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was sexually abused but does believe that he was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

My most common SM fantasy revolves around a young family in which the wife has established herself as the chief disciplinarian and keeps tight reins on her husband. Both partners are very sexually aroused over the roles the play, and an important aspect of this is the seriousness and the ritual involved in the punishment. The husband is always spanked, bare bottomed, over his wife's knee. In some fantasies, his sister-in-law also spanks him

If there are children, they are over 16, and they are a boy and a girl. In these fantasies, the wife is training her daughter to identify and dominate a submissive male for herself. The son only receives spankings, sometimes from his sister, who is always younger. Sometimes the son will have a girlfriend who eventually witnesses a spanking by his mother. The girlfriend will be shown by the mother how to take control of and discipline her son. There will eventually be too or three generations of women in the family who will be disciplining younger women and older or younger men. Another fantasy that comes to mind on occasion is that, as some rite of passage, a daughter will be presented with a paddle made by her father and will spank her father with it to signify her position in the family.

This is the whole picture of one of my favorites. Of course I don't play out all of this in my head. Rather, I begin on certain parts of it and really can embellish it at times.

I have been spanked by my wife as part of a longer sexual encounter, but have not approached the involvement depicted in my fantasy. I will put myself into my fantasy on occasion, as well as one of my sisters-in-law (in the appropriate place). Strangely enough, my wife never appears in my fantasy.

I don't believe this, but I am willing to give you more information (boy, did that take guts!).

#086-89, white female, 34, some college, married, significant other knows of her interests, an oldest child, some religious training, no religious beliefs, politically moderate, often depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, unsure if she has friends who have SM interests, believes hers are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 14, tries to meet by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of her interests in SM, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, versatile, 0/0, humiliation oriented, would approve if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand- written.

Favorite fantasy #1. I quit my present job and become a mistress-- men come to me and pay me to beat them (being paid for something I enjoy doing).

Favorite fantasy #2. When a man does or says something to make me mad I picture myself taking him over my knee and spanking his butt red.

Favorite fantasy #3. I have a male slave that does anything I say. He cleans house, does my shopping, makes dinner, etc. If he does something I don't like, I beat him or spank him, depending upon the infraction.

In all my fantasies I or someone else is beating a male on my favorite part of his anatomy-- his cute little butt. I never fantasize extreme pain just enough to sexually arouse the male & myself. How close have I come to acting out my fantasies? I have a collection of spanking paraphernalia on my bedroom wall including small whips, handcuffs, mask, etc. My husband takes pictures of me in my "dominant" attire-- but so far I haven't placed any ads. So far it's mostly just fantasy. I would be willing to answer more questions for you-- My feelings on my own SM desires are that I enjoy being a little different. I do not like torture or intense pain situations-- That turns me completely off. I probably fantasize as I do because in real life I am quite docile & and I let men take advantage of me too often. My fantasies are letting me "get even". I only fantasize about men-- never women and never children. Sometimes a teenage boy will be in my fantasies but about 16 is as young as I ever think about.

#087-302, white male, 30, post graduate, never married, no significant other, a youngest child, strict religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically liberal, sometimes depressed for over a week, sometimes feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, not sure if he has friends who have SM interests, discovered SM through reading pornography at age 17, has not tried to meet others, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, submissive, 0/0, humiliation oriented, does not know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was sexually abused but does believe that he was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Typed.

I encountered the subject of S/M early. I was verbally abused in school by girls when I was in Junior High. They abused me verbally, and humiliated me generally, since I was in class at the time, and seemed frozen while they were insulting me (about my looks....etc.)I'm an average looking person. Some women have told me I'm attractive. But because of this incident in Junior High School, I sometimes don't believe them. So this is how I got involved in S/M

My brother also had a great deal of Penthouse Magazines in his from which I sneaked a peek at many times. They had a wide variety of sex letters. But the ones that seemed to excite me were the ones that involved women tying up men, verbally abusing them, and making them do disgusting things; the more disgusting the better. This matched my fantasies at the time, of being humiliated. I found out that these letters and fantasies were sexually exciting.(Later on I found out that all I received for the girls were negative strokes, and negative strokes are better than no strokes at all.....)

I was not sexually abused. However, I was emotionally abused by my father. And stimulated by my Mother, who was always distant, but in a way sexual. She used to always go around barefooted, and I developed a sexual attraction to women's feet.

So, that's my history, and what follows is a fantasy of mine. I meet a Lady in a bar. She is cold and distant. She takes me home to her place, which is also cold and dark. She orders me to take my clothes off, or slips a narcotic into my drink. I find my self later in bondage, wither tied to her bedposts, to a rack in her basement, or to the floor in her basement. She informs me that the walls are covered with cork, and that no one will hear me scream: she is going to use me for her pleasure, and maybe torture me a bit.

There are torture instruments lining the walls: whips, clamps, needles, dildoes.....all types of things. And then she begins to describe what she will do to me: make me perform cunnilingus on her, make me lick her ass, let me feel how if is for a woman, by her fucking me with a dildoe...etc.

By this time, she has taken out a whip and proceeded to whip my buttocks and cock. The other actions of humiliation and abuse I described above follow. And the ending is always that she places her bare feet in front of my face and orders me to suck her toes, which I do.

And that is my fantasy., I hope you find it useful in your survey. For your information, I have not acted it out at all. The closest I have come to that is to write to publications and correspond with persons of a like S/M orientation.

Let me conclude by adding that I am a Graduate student with a Masters in psychology; I am employed as a social worker and work with families in crisis.. The fact that I have S/M fantasies is never an issue with work. In my social life, however, I have seemed to gravitate towards tall, distant women, who cannot or are prevented from being intimate.

I would be willing to participate in a follow up questionnaire.

#088-93, white male, 30, college graduate, married, significant other knows of his interests, a youngest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, never depressed for over a week, sometimes feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, not sure if he has friends who have SM interests, discovered SM through reading pornography at the age of 23, tries to make contact by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM sometimes helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, submissive, 1/20, pain oriented, does not know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has one main fantasy. Hand- written.

I have only one spanking fantasy, although there could be many variations on the theme that would excite me. My fantasy centers on being discovered doing something wrong (it doesn't matter what) and given a bare bottom spanking for it. Most of these fantasies deal with being caught by my wife, but I have an older female cousin that I fantasize about spanking me, occasionally. One current fantasy involves me being caught masturbating. My wife catches me in the bathroom with some spanking material, then orders me to grab the hairbrush laying on the counter next to me. We go into the bedroom, and she sits on the bed, and then makes me lie across her lap. She spanks me bare bottom many times with the hairbrush, softly at first, then progressively harder till it really hurts. After the spanking, she tells me again why I was spanked, and then consoles me, saying she doesn't want to have to punish me, but that it is for my own good. This leads to a very energetic sexual session. I really enjoy watching my red bottom in the mirror while we're making love.

My spanking fantasies are always as a prelude to making love, but most of the time I do not need spanking to get me more excited, I would guess that I want to be spanked approximately 10% of the time before sex, although my wife never takes the initiative to spank me, so I'm spanked less than the 10%. I have to ask my wife to spank me, which detracts from some of my excitement about it. I would really love for her to take the lead, deciding when I should be spanked and for how long. I'm not in to humiliation, or female domination. I simply feel the need to be disciplined occasionally. when I get these urges, it is always sexually related-- I wouldn't really mind being spanked at other times, but I really only think about it as a prelude to sex.

#089-58, white female, 38, high school graduate, divorced, no significant other, neither the youngest nor oldest child, strict religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, never depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, discovered SM through reading pornography at the age of 30, has not tried to meet others, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM sometimes helps her achieve orgasm, is usually heterosexual, usually submissive, 1/10, humiliation oriented, would approve if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Typed.

My lover is displeased with me. He orders me to strip, then ties my hands behind my back. He tells me to bend over and paddles my ass till it is pink. He then puts his big cock in my mouth. the spanking makes me hotter than if he didn't and I suck and lick him to orgasm.

He then ties my arms and legs to the bedposts and eats me out till I cry when he rams his big cock into my pussy.

#090-688, white male, some college, never married, no significant other, a youngest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, rarely depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted be- cause of his SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 15, tries to meet others through ads, has used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is bisexual, submissive, 3/4, humiliation oriented, does not know whether he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

My favorite fantasy starts by meeting a women in the elevator requiring some assistance with parcels to her suite & once in & placing her parcels down she inquires if I would mind helping to put the groceries away, to which I condescend. Asking if I would like a drink & if so she'll have one if I'd like to make it. While sitting down her glass slips from her hand landing on my lap soaking me clean through. After numerous apologies she says her dryer will have them dried in no time & if I step into the washroom she'll find me something to wear while they dry. She hands me a pair of slacks and panties and says no one will know & I wouldn't want to get cold. After changing I joking say ladies sure have it nice with silky feeling undergarments. At that she replies that for helping if I want she has some other clothes I could try on & feeling a little adventurous agree. She says once she starts I have to agree to let her do as she pleases and do what I'm told. We go to the bedroom where she takes out a corset, garter belt, some hose & an electric razor. After stripping she leaves my panties on & puts the corset around me fastens it, then the garter belt and hose. After trimming my side burns she puts a whig on me & asks what I think. To which I reply that it feels & looks great. She says if I do as I'm told I'll have more pleasant surprises in store. Noticing I have an erection she tells me its not allowed unless she says so & to make sure we get started on the right foot I'll have to be taught a lesson. Stretching me out across her lap she pulls my panties down and precedes to give me a real hard spanking. At this point her apartment front door opens whereas I'm informed that her mother lives with her & demands that I obey what she says also. Having gone this far & enjoying myself she leads me out of the bedroom & to my amazement her mother looked fantastic, and after introducing us said I was going to be their house slave.

Although my fantasy goes on, I could probably write a book, but basically as far as any research this might pertain to, it will give you a sufficient base.

#091-688a, white male, 47, post graduate, married, significant other knows of his interests, an oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically liberal, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 13, tries to meet others through ads and by introducing others to SM, has used the services of a pro- fessional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, dominant, 3/24, does not know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Typed.

My fantasy is my reality. I own my woman. She is my lover and my property. My dominance is based on my love of her. Her submission is based on her love for me. There are may symbols in our life. At all times, she wears a gold collar. Also, when her ankles are unrestrained, she wars a gold ankle chain. These are the eternal symbols of my dominance and her submission.

There are also many rituals in our life. Before departing our home, she is always given six on her naked ass with a riding corp. Upon returning home, her face is slapped, she licks my shoes, and she is given twelve hand spanks. At home, her wrists and ankles are usually chained. She always sleeps in wrist and ankle chains. Before retiring, she is given twenty-five spanks with a hairbrush.

She needs to belong and submit to me. She is mine to restrain, hurt, humiliate, and use. Here are some of the ways that I have hurt her. She has been whipped on tits. cunt, back, and thighs. I have set a minimum of 100 strokes per day. Hot wax has been dripped onto all of these, and pins have been stuck into all of these. She has worn a bra lined with tacks and a velcro crotch strap. Here are some of the ways that I humiliate her. She crawls on her hands and knees. She licks my shoes. She is given enemas. She has been pissed on. She wears dildos or butt plugs in public. Oral, vaginal or anal use may occur during or after her torture and humiliation.

Her pain, her humiliation, her use, her submission are her gifts of love to me. My gift of love is to own her ruthlessly and absolutely.

#092-664, white male, 52, post graduate, married, significant other does not know of his interests, a youngest child, strict religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically conservative, often depressed for over a week, sometimes feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 6, has used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is bisexual, submissive, 6/5, humiliation oriented, does not know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Typed.

It is my belief, based on my personal experience, that a desire to participate in S/M activities is more congenital or hereditary than learned. I believe it is a fallacy to think that witnessing or experiencing a spanking or other dominance- submission episode as a child alone will cause a predisposition toward this fetish. I believe that episodes of this type do help to develop and impress this kind of sexual orientation upon children, but only where they have a natural predisposition toward it anyway. I recollect experiencing intense excitement as a very small child when I would hear and know that a child was receiving a spanking, thought I did not understand the nature of what I was feeling at the time. This was so even though I was almost never spanked myself, and I had never discussed the subject with anyone to the extent of the sexual nature of the feeling. I can only recollect one spanking that I received as a small child, although I received a few "licks" with a paddle in junior high school. The first specific recollection that I have of feeling excitement in connection with spanking was when I was about six years old. I was outside in the back yard of a friend's house, when I heard the unmistakable sounds of a spanking in progress inside. I felt a strange and inexplicable feeling of both fear and fascination at the same time, and wondered what it would be like to experience the spanking myself. I never discussed it with anyone, and, so far as I know, no one was aware that I was aware of what was going on.

My favorite S/M fantasy is:

I am a boy of 12-14 years of age. I live in a house with my elderly parents, who have largely turned over responsibility for my discipline to a large, strong and very strict resident (black) house-keeper. (I am white, and grew up in the deep south among strong believers in white supremacy.) The house keeper, "Emma Mae" at first controls me strictly by her large size, physical appearance, and commanding personality. I begin to develop a very strong, budding interest in sex, and having never seen a female's private organs, I begin to seek opportunities to spy upon Emma Mae when she is in the bathroom. There is a large old-fashioned key hole in the bath room door, which gives me a direct line of vision to her vulva as she sits on the toilet. I see her through the key hole on several occasions, and experience intense sexual arousal. Eventually one day, while I am leaning forward against the door to get a better view, I make a slight noise, and Emma Mae suspect something is going on. She then swings the door, which opens inward, and I lurch forward, with my face landing right in her lap. I look up at Emma Mae, who looks down at me indignantly, and I am terrified of what is to come. She then grabs me by the hair of the top of my head, and pulls me forward vigorously so that my mouth is wedged inside the lips of her pussy. E.M. the says, "well, you little prick, so you wanted to see it, well see it good, because I'm going to blister your ass good". She then proceeds to take down my pants, while holding my head in place, with her thighs, picks up a long- handled clothes brush and starts to spank my bare bottom, while continuing to scold me.

At first I feel only the intense pain, and try to cry out, but my cries are muffled in the folds of her vagina. After a little while I begin to smell and taste the musky fragrance of her sex, and I feel my intense sexual arousal returning. I then experience a spontaneous strong desire, and begin to lick and suck vigorously at her clitoris and vagina, while E.M. continues to lay on the wood, and the pain turns to intense pleasure. Pretty soon E.M. seems to stiffen, moan, and then relax her legs and body, and holds my head tight against her vulva, while totally relaxing. As soon as she releases me I go directly to my bedroom, where I masturbate to an intense orgasm.

#093-665, white male, 50, high school graduate, married, significant other does not know of his interests, an oldest child, strict religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, believes his interests are natural ones from childhood, first recognized at age 10, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is a forced bisexual, versatile, 0/0, humiliation oriented, does not know whether he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests.

I hope this is of some help to you, I will tell you up front that I have not had any sex with a female or male in 8 years. I am married, a male, and my wife is going through change of life and will not have sex with me.

I have been interested in S/M since I was 10 years old I am not to much into pain, only to give it, not receive it, however I love to read stories about people getting punished, and tortured, it turns me on sexual. I am manly into humiliation. I have a wide variety of fantasies I would like to act out, but living in a small town like [name of town], I think it is impossible, so I masturbate a lot, sometimes three times a day, every day. I read only books that deal with S/M. I am in to self abuse, that is I torture myself, I try all forms of torture and pick the ones I like.

Fantasy No. 1

I am kidnapped by three beautiful young girls about 23 years old they tie my hands behind my back and I am put in the back seat of a big car between two of the girls, they remove my pants and shorts and tell me I will become their new sex slave, I sit with a hard-on, as give me a lot of verbal abuse about my penis and balls. We drive to a big mansion where I meet three more young girls. The first three girl I meet two were white, and one black, the last three, one was white, one black, and one oriental I found out the last three were sex slaves also.

At the house I am stripped of all my clothes, and tied spread eagle to the floor, a toilet seat with legs is placed over my face and the black slave is told to give me prolonged penis stimulation and not to let me come, the black misstres then strips and sets on the toilet seat, she said that everytime I come I must drink all he piss. My stimulation goes on for 12 hours with each misstres taking turns on the seat The next day I must bath each girl and lick her clean after she uses the toilet I must shave each of the girls cunts and lick each to orgasm.

Then I must jerk-off in a glass and drink my come as all the girls laugh. I am then dressed as a female and a male is brought in, I must make love to him and suck his penis as all the girls make fun of me.

During the course of a year that I am held captive I am kept nude all the time, also I have drank piss, and used tampon tape in my mouth, eaten shit, sucked old smelly cunts, tasted all kinds of pinesies sucked all the girls cunts and assholes everyday, at several times I was make to suck off male dogs. I have been spanked, had weights hung from my penis and balls, given enemas, been degraded humiliated, had catheter tubes up my penis, and had my forskin pierced in which I wear a gold ring to prevent masturbation and intercourse.

Fantasy 2

This is where I am hired as a sex slave be a dominant young women to turn her husband and step-daughter into sex slaves in which I use all the forms of torment I mention in fantasy #1 to make slaves out of them.

I hope this is of some help to your research, but it does not help me to fulfill my fantasies. If you have any more questions or questionnaires to fill out please send them to me, I want to help get SM out of the closet. You can send my name and address to whom ever you wish, or if you know any dominant females in this area who need a submissive sex slave give them my name or give me their name and address. Glad I could help, Have a nice day.

#094-8, white female, 25, college graduate, significant other does not know of her interests, never married, a youngest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically liberal, never depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes hers are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 7, tries to meet at SM clubs and by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of her interests in SM, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is usually heterosexual, usually submissive, 3/20, pain oriented, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, believes that she was both sexually and emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

Favorite Fantasy:

Being a complete slave for a day or weekend. I must wear a collar & chain leash at all times & do exactly (and only) what he (the master) tells me to do. Invariably I make minor mistakes and am whipped and/or bound as punishment. Sometimes I am left alone securely bound, blindfolded, and gagged.

It may also involve being taken out in public in revealing clothes with no underwear

. #095-24, white female, 33, college graduate, divorced, significant other knows of her interests, an oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically conservative, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, first recognized her SM interests at age 30, tries to meet others at SM clubs, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of her interests in SM, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is homosexual, usually dominant, 4/300, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Computer printout.

My two basic fantasies are quite flexible. There is a certain baseline theme but the variations are infinite. The form the fantasy takes during a scene depends considerably upon circumstances, mood, the desires of my partner and so on.

DOMINANT MODE This is by far the preferred fantasy and the most of the enacted role.

I am an extremely effective and capable inquisitor for a powerful and oppressive government or entity. I am an Inquisitor or a state torturer or perhaps an elegant sadist in the employ of someone. At any rate, there exists a hierarchy of power in which I am a functionary.

My 'clients' are to be broken and made to comply with the wishes of the State. Often I am drawn into an emotional relationship with my client before I extract the needed information. I then eroticize the Question and often my own satisfaction before terminating the client or handing it over to others for disposal. The State is unaware of my inclinations (I do not know that there is a file on my activities with full details for use if necessary) and I have been in this work for quite some time.

Occasionally, there is some instance where I am 'disciplined' by a Superior, but it is the sift sharp correction of the "Alpha Wolf and beta wolf" nature, I am seldom out of line once I perceive what the line is.

SUBMISSIVE MODE Less often occurring fantasy. I have never really gone into a full scene with this.

I am an extremely valuable and attractive possession. My Superior is quite powerful and cruel. my Superior often has me pose or stand so that others admire me. my mindframe is like that of the hunting-cat or wolf. my Master is firm with me and can be violent or gentle depending entirely on The Whim. i am collared and leashed, placed on silken cushions. if violence occurs, i am submissive, baring neither claw nor tooth but 'enduring' in ecstasy. Were i to rebel, my force would be lethal, and i do not wish to kill my Master.

These fantasies are quite general, but the specifics tend to elaborate on the basics.

The dominant fantasy is one which I have used often an I can combine it with the submissive fantasy as well, being a powerful and cruel possession, acting at the order of a Superior and dispassionate toward my victim. I will guard my Superior with lethal force and am quite skilled at hand-to- hand. At a command, I will break off the attack and return to sit quietly by my Superior's side.

The combination of the dominant and the submissive elements is a powerful one and quite enough to provide material for scenes fitting with whatever my partner wants. At no time do I humiliate or humble myself. The obedience of the submissive is a trained obedience and a proud display of controlled strength. Note that a Superior does not have to lash me into compliance.

As a dominant, at no time do I hate my subject. The cruelty is manifested at the worst as dispassionate and usually as a form of affection. Often I am moved to admiration for the sufferings my victim endures at my hand. I admire courage.

Strangely, although I 'got into' S/M only a year or so ago, these fantasies have been with me since early childhood. I loved to pretend that I was a leopard or an ocelot owned by a king or an empress. My bed turned into a "cage" with bars of solid gold and my collar was jeweled. There were slaves (Nubians!) to groom my fur and feed me costly tidbits. When the Empress took me for walks I would pad stealthily at her side, ever watchful for a command or caress.

Needless to say, I played alone. How does one ask a playmate to play 'Leopard and King'? I tend toward faintly 'animal' mannerisms. I will toss or shake my head at times (even into adulthood) and will stamp or paw when forced to wait in line. I purr quite well and have frightened off more than one potential attacker in real life by either a hiss or a snarl with bared teeth. I used to gallop everywhere.

As a child, I was not strong. I lacked the power to defend myself with my hands so I relied on feet and teeth. As an adult, I prefer to think my way out of a jam.

I am fully aware of fantasy and reality as two ends of a continuum. Early on, I analyzed it all, decided that there was no harm in fantasy and simply continued to do that which gave me pleasure. I am not ashamed of my 'playacting' an have begun to see it as a stress-relieving, coping action. It is one of the most healthful things I do.

Only recently have I expanded the daydreams into action. My training and background as a [health profession] ensure the submissive's safety and comfort. My empathic abilities enable me to avoid passing my subject's limits. The subject's pleasure is my reward, even as the patient's comfort is the goal of medical personnel. The caregiver/patient relationship is almost an exact parallel to the Top/bottom relationship in my practice.

I am fortunate in that I have a large and loving circle of friends and family. In the last analysis, for that... there is NO substitute!

#096-303, white male, 34, college graduate, married, significant other knows of his interests, an oldest child, some religious training, no religious beliefs, politically liberal, rarely depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends with SM interests, discovered SM through reading pornography at age 15, tries to meet others through ads, at SM clubs, and by introducing others to SM, has used the services of a professional, views SM as a lifestyle, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, submissive, 3/130, humiliation oriented, does not know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand- written.

Favorite SM fantasy

As a submissive male slave I am "owned" by a dominant mistress. She has full power over me and uses my body for her sexual needs, and well as erotic cross dressing and piercing.

further she makes me available to her friends subject only to her limitations.

This fantasy has been/is being acted out in my current marriage to a dominant women. Our relationship is about 2 years old, one year married.

#097-62, white male, 30, college graduate, married, significant other knows of his interests, an only child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically conservative, sometimes depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 5, has not tried to find partners, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, submissive, 1/24, humiliation oriented, does not know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has one main fantasy. Hand-written.

Female domination

In my early childhood I have been brought up in a house with three strong women (mother, grandmother, aunt) and strong aunts. I have experience the ruling classes of women and men being secondary.

My fantasy: being ruled by women being the worker around the house and making her life more pleasurable. My wife does express dominance but only as foreplay. I would like to try it as a lifestyle. If only she had enough strength to do it. Her holds would be humiliation, verbal abuse pettycoating and oral sex (which I love). I would want to be in that position to serve her.

#098-363, white male, 38, college graduate, never married, does not have a significant other, an only child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, rarely depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, not sure he has friends who have SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 6, tries to meet others through ads, at SM clubs and by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, submissive, 0/0, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand- written.

Frequent Fantasy

I have been captured by a tribe of Amazon women, I am then selected by the tribal queen to become the sacrificial offering for a cannibalistic feast.

#099-134, white female, 34, some college, divorced, significant other knows of her interests, the oldest child, strict religious training, strong religious beliefs, politically liberal, sometimes depressed for over a week, sometimes feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes hers are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 14, tries to meet by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, is a professional, vacillates in the intensity of her interests in SM, believes SM sometimes helps her achieve orgasm, is bisexual, dominant, pain oriented, would disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was sexually abused but does believe she was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Typed.

I feel from my experiences that attitude has the most to do with any SM B&D scene, professional of otherwise. The majority (98%) of my experiences as a dominant in California (much different than the East Coast) are not satisfactory. As a person interested in healing and emotional balance, I find most of my clients very full of negative mental and emotional struc- tures. Their sessions merely act out scripts of sexual fantasy for temporary sexual release based on guilt and low self esteem. There energy is very dark and is not lifted after sessions. The creativity is at a minimum and the whole experience is oriented toward orgasm of the body rather than any real submission. Perhaps in non-professional relationships for the majority it is different, but I find slaves to demand much more emotional energy and attention in a disarming way and manipulate the scene not unlike "a Jewish mother" routine, (not to be construed as antisemetic), more than the "straight" people I know. I have met only 3 people so far who have had a light heart and truly accepted and enjoyed being submissive. The others have all given me indications of mild or severe emotional problems that could be solved with help. I do not object to the "scene", obviously, it is the mass of damaged people with whom I can no longer tolerate being in such intimate contact. All of that psychic energy is released and ends up inside my head and body. It is no longer worth the emotional price for me to continue as a professional. I hope your research develops some way to reach and help the men who are so filled with self loathing and unaccepting of what excites them sexually.

#100-119, white female, 33, post graduate, never married, significant other knows of her interests, an only child, some religious training, strong religious beliefs, politically liberal, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, not sure if she has friends with SM interests, believes hers are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 10, has not tried to meet others, has not used the services of a professional, sees SM as a form of foreplay, does not believe SM helps her achieve orgasm, is bisexual, versatile, humiliation oriented, does not believe that she was sexually abused but does believe that she was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests, Hand-written. [No initial fantasy material accompanied her questionnaire.]

QUESTION: What was your earliest unusual thoughts at the age of 10?

My earliest thoughts in the way of bondage came at about age 10 when I was at summer camp. I had a crush on one of the counselors (female) and I would imagine that we had in some way been captured by robbers. I had some trouble deciding if I should be the captor, if she should, or if we should both be captives of someone else. I did not realize for many years that these thoughts were in anyway sexual.

QUESTION:How did you find out about your boyfriends sexual interests?

Actually, he asked me! And it took me almost a year to get up the nerve to tell him about my likes and dislikes.

QUESTION: You are playing strip poker with three other people. It's down to the last hand. What happens?

Well, I wouldn't cheat.

QUESTION: You are at a slave auction. Are you buying, or are you being bought?

Probably being bought. The buyer would depend-- It would always be someone I knew however.

QUESTION: Were you ever spanked as a child, or witnessed other children being spanked?

Just once! I was about two and my mother had shut me in my room for a nap. Unfortunately, the bathroom was not connected to my room, and I couldn't get out-- I don't know where my mother was. Anyway I used the wastebasket. I thought that was a good idea, but my mother didn't. She used a hairbrush on me. It didn't hurt, but I've always remembered the incident, because it struck me as unfair.

#101-77, white male, 31, college graduate, married, significant other knows of his interests, neither the youngest nor the oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically moderate, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, not sure if he has friends who have SM interests, was introduced to SM by another person at the age of 21, has not tried to meet others, has used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, versatile, 1/12, humiliation oriented, does not know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written

. My wife and I have punishment sessions for me in which I am spanked, paddled, caned, etc. She even had me dress in panties and nighty for punishment one time. Usually I am bent over and can not see behind me. I have always wanted her to surprise me one time and have her sister or her mother walk in and watch or better still, take part in what's happening. I dont know if this will ever happen but who knows. Also she could surprise me if she bought an outfit for me to wear for punishment.

#102-070, white female, 39, post graduate, divorced, significant other knows of her interests, the oldest child, strict religious training, no religious beliefs, politically liberal, rarely depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, was introduced to SM at the age of 36, tries to meet through ads and at SM bars, has not used the services of a professional, sees SM as a lifestyle, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is bisexual, versatile, humiliation oriented, would approve if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was sexually abused but does believe that she was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Typed.

I was first introduced to the "unusual" at the age of 36 by a woman lover who was very butch but was actually a submissive. Needless to say, she was very, very good. She bought me a copy of COMING TO POWER, which was put out by Samois, a lesbian s/m support group in San Francisco which has now disbanded. I reacted to the scene immediately as the most natural thing in the world.

I have met a few people through ads. Most of the people I play with belong to the [a number SM support groups]. I have had many, many calls from the ads I have placed but most of the people are very inexperienced and I usually do not choose to play with people who don't have any idea about the scene.

I enjoy dominating only men because I am bi-sexual and I can't psychologically bring myself to hit another woman. I really don't know why I enjoy submitting to both men and women-- probably because my master tell me to or because he loans me out.

QUESTION: Do you find the thought of unusual sex more or less exciting than actual unusual sex? (Or put another way, is fantasy more fun than reality?)

For me fantasy is not more fun than reality. Of course, it's fun to fantasize, but the actual physical scene itself is much more enjoyable for me.

QUESTION: If you were to try to explain to a "straight" person what unusual sex is about and what you got out of it, what would you say?

What I usually tell "straight" people is that, for me, s/m is a game, like MONOPOLY or hopscotch. Some people understand and some freak. I explain that I was straight for years until I discovered that I really never had to grow up and could play like a kid. I explain that it is very consensual and that it is not violence.

QUESTION: Do you feel the "straight" media-- books, movies, television, etc., accurately depict the unusual scene?

No. For example, CRUSIN' was a gross over reaction to the gay s/m scene and gave all of us a very bad name, I feel that especially the press loves to exaggerate the scene any time something happens. For example, in almost every issue of the ADVOCATE [a gay publication] there is some kind of write up on how the straight press has once again portrayed the scene as something dangerous and wicked. I strongly object to this type of treatment.

#103-96, white male, 28, high school graduate, married, significant other knows of his interests, a youngest child, some religious training, no religious beliefs, politically liberal, rarely depressed for over a week, sometimes feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, unsure if he has friends who have SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 14, tries to meet others through ads, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is usually heterosexual, submissive, 2/2, humiliation oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand- written.

I most fantasize about filling a very submissive role.

I enjoy being physically helpless as in very secure restraints. Being tightly bound & gagged and unable to escape or resist aggression. I have special interest in old-fashioned methods of restraint such as found in early European dungeons. Heavy equipment like wooden racks, wheels, punishment horses, stocks, etc. I love heavy leather restraints, cuffs, masks, harnesses, etc. iron manacles, shackles, collars, etc. I fantasize about being held prisoner in a dungeon. Stretched tightly on a rack or otherwise restrained to the point of little or no physical movement possible. Maybe gagged and bound forced or hooded. Totally helpless! Am probably a little uncomfortable! I love the idea of being suspended well above the floor from hooks or other hardware attached to the ceiling or rafters. Hanging helplessly in the air!

Although bondage & restraining really turn me on a lot, I also really get the most excitement out of being physically punished. (Corporal punishment!) I have grown to enjoy receiving fairly painfull punishment! But not just anywhere on my body. To the contrary, I don't care to be whipped across the chest or back. But I do really enjoy being spanked! And in a big way! I most often fantasize about old-fashioned, severe, bare bottom, spankings & whippings. Real, true-to-life punishments that leave real blisters & welts on my buns! Traditional school type discipline, religious & home style punishment using traditional instruments like wood paddles, leather straps & whips, birch rods, canes, etc. Also demanding fraternity initiations involving hard spanking falls into this category for me. Almost all my fantasies involve a combination of secure restraint and hard corporal punishment. Being securely fastened to a rigid frame, rack, horse, etc., and then given a good old-fashioned blistering, tanning, etc. while totally helpless to resist or escape my punishment! My punishment would be well-deserved as a result of my extremely dis-obedient & dis-respectful behavior, the though of others being present to witness my punishment increases my excitement even more! I always picture myself being totally nude during the session also! Always receiving my punishment the old-fashioned way, "bare-bottom"! Although I don't consider myself gay or bi-sexual I do fantasize about receiving my strict punishments from another male. I tend to view a man as having the only real natural talent for being very strict & dominant, and easily able to administer super strict discipline and real hard spankings & bare-bottom whippings!

The following would be a typical fantasy for me:

I am a teenage boy attending an old-fashioned boarding school. My consistent bad behavior has earned me a trip to the head masters quarters for punishment! Upon resisting my punishment I anger the head master further. I am forced to remove my pants and underware and ordered to lay flat, facedown on a large table. My wrists and ankles are tied and pulled securely to the four corners of the table, stretching my body out in a full spread-eagle position. The head master selects to use a freshly cut bundle of birch rods to teach me a "real lesson". I beg and plead for forgiveness but its too late now. The angry head master is set on teaching me a good old- fashioned lesson. He applies bout two-dozen really hard lashes to my un-protected, bare bottom as I scream & beg for mercy! When through my eyes are full of real tears and my bare buns are thickly striped with bright, long, thin welts! Maybe even a hint of bleeding blisters.

Believe it or not I really do get into this stuff pretty heavy. I can take moderate pain willingly and fantasize about being forced to accept severely painfull spankings while helpless to resist.

Although I've never really been able to arrange this kinds of session with someone, I have experiences more moderate punishment with extreme enjoyment and stimulation! I have been restrained tightly and paddled or whipped to the point of mild blisters and bruises. And often at least to the point of having my buns lobster red and very hot! I really get stimulated by the stinging in my cheeks and the resulting heat generated by a sound spanking.

All this stuff has practically become an obsession with me. Coming and going regularly where it sometimes dominates my day to day thinking, but other times going a month or more with little or no interest or thought on the subject. It seems to cycle in me. And seemingly corresponds with other moods & feelings to the point where I can predict when my thoughts are going to start going one way or the other. When it comes on its like a tidal wave within me that boils over about a week. Each day fantasizing more & more about being punished. And reaching a point where it overwhelms my thinking, dis-rupts my normal sex relationship with my wife, causes me to masturbate several times a day & in some odd places! Then suddenly I realize that I haven't fantasized or masturbated for a few days. Not given thought about B&D/punishment at all. Then its gone for a week, two or three until the next wave starts building again. I have found that while I am on a peak of fantasizing I can actually take a dramatic increase in pain willingly. Actually enjoy the first few hard "whacks!" without much bother! But would never accept even one, when not in the mood!

I do have naturally self-set limits that I would always want respected. ie, no permanent scars or injuries! But would submit to a thrashing that left marks for a couple of weeks or so then healed without scaring. Just a good old-fashioned spanking

You asked for it!

Your got it!

Hope this has shedded a little more light on some usefull subject for you!

I've tried not to exaggerate my feelings here. It may sound pretty heavy but I always look at it as fun. This stuff turns me on for some reason and I like to enjoy that feeling. As long as I know that I won't be permantly hurt its a great stimulation for me!

Thanks for your time!

#104-119, white female, 47, college graduate, divorced, significant other knows of her interests, neither the oldest nor the youngest child, strict religious training, strong religious beliefs, politically conservative, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, was introduced to SM at that age of 40, tries to meet through ads, at SM bars and by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is bisexual, versatile, humiliation oriented, 5/12, does not know if she would approve or disapprove if her children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that she was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests.

I enjoyed filling out your questionnaire. I love the dominant lifestyle and wish that more Women could come to realize its benefits and pleasures.

Thus far I have not met many others that are in the scene. The few I have met are "normal", ordinary, attractive, and intelligent people.

If I or My slave can be of further help in you study, let Me know. I have described a favorite fantasy.

A fantasy that is also a frequent reality is to be served orally by My slave while I urge him on with My whip. I lie propped on pillows and place slave lying toward the foot of the bed positioned with his face between My lets. I am nearly always wearing stockings, high heeled shoes or boots, and My long kid gloves. slave is often wearing nipple clips. I orchestrate his performance by cracking My crop hard across his ass or back and enjoy his cries muffled by My glorious pussy.

Another position is sitting on his face and using My crop on his legs and belly while smothering his pleading mouth. In this position, I can also use My penis whip on his crotch while he struggles in his shackles.

An extension of the fantasy which I hope to fulfill in the near future is to be given oral service by another Mistress' slave while She whips him and to reciprocate by having slave give oral worship front and rear as I lay on My cat o' nine tails.

#105-228, white male, 33, some college, never married, does not have a significant other, a youngest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, sometimes depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, not sure if he has friends who have SM interests, first recognized his SM interests at age 25, has not tried to meet others, has not used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM sometimes helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, versatile, 0/0, pain oriented, does not know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

The scene I fantasize most; awake and asleep; is back in high school. I was in truth a straight A student, but liked seemingly only for my tennis. Our tennis coach was the girls P.E. teacher also. I am a male and was the best tennis player in the district and possibly could have placed in the state tourney. I was ill the day before the district tourney and therefore the coach placed me as a secondary, with not even an opportunity to play to win the title. I was a bit rude to her as a result, but I had obviously been unjustly wronged and several friends at school said so. That is the truth and basis of my fantasy which is:

for my rudeness I should have been paddled, but for denying me the title and our school its first such honor in tennis so she should have been paddled. She paddling me, and I her (in our gym shorts).

Many satisfying dreams have resulted, and truly enough, they are the only satisfying result of thinking of what happened to me once, in 1969.

#106-556a, white male, 33, high school graduate, never married, does not have a significant other, neither the youngest nor the oldest child, strict religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically conservative, always depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, not sure if he has friends who have SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 12, tries to meet others through ads, has used the services of a professional, views SM as a lifestyle, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is homosexual, submissive, 0/0, humiliation oriented, does not know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

My most desired an sought after fantasy is to become a young teenage girl attending a strict Catholic H.S. where I must toe the line constantly. And when I get home to be treated as a young girl of 13-14 yrs old and treated as such. To have tons of homework every night and that my only concern is who is the favorite teen star & idol nowadays. To read only trashy love stories and Fan magazines so my mind could revert back to that age. And when I am at home to be kept in total bondage and complete humiliation at all times.

#107-403, white male, 38, college graduate, never married, does not have a significant other, an oldest child, no religious training, no religious beliefs, politically liberal, rarely depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 13, tries to meet others through ads and at SM bars, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is homosexual, versatile, 4/6, pain oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was sexually abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

My favorite SM fantasies

(as a top) Being in charge of whipping prisoners for punishment in a prison.

(as a bottom) Having a policeman tie me up and whip me with his belt.

How close have I come to acting out my fantasies? Not very close. When I've been a top, I try to work within the reality of the situation rather than attempting to act out one of my fantasies.

I've enclosed a self-addressed envelope if you want to ask me for more information about SM as I see it.

#108-402, white male, 47, post graduate, never married, significant other knows of his interests, neither the youngest nor the oldest child, some religious training, strong religious beliefs, politically liberal, rarely depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends with SM interests, was introduced to SM by another person at the age of 10, tries to meet others at SM bars and clubs, has not used the services of a professional, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is homosexual, versatile, 15/15, pain oriented, does not know if he would approve or disapprove if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was sexually abused but does believe that he was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

My favorite fantasies involve castration or implement! Since these are one time only, however, I approach them by piercing & tattooing and fisting! And the pain associated with these activities is considerably less now than at first.

#109-54, white female, 41, some college, married, significant other knows of her interests, oldest child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically liberal, rarely depressed for over a week, has friends with SM interests, believes hers are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 37, tries to meet others at SM clubs, has not used the services of a professional, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is bisexual, usually submissive, 2/17, humiliation oriented, would approve if her children grew up to have SM interests, does believe that she was both sexually and emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

My s-m fantasies are as follows

1) I am being forced by a woman to perform fellatio on a strange man. In reality, this fantasy originated with my first lesbian lover. In reality, fellatio with any man, even my husband, is an unpleasant experience which I would perform for him (but no other) if asked, but since he doesn't want this (i.e. isn't turned on by fellatio being performed on him) I think this is the kind of fantasy that has arousal purely for its humiliation value.

2) This fantasy dates from a male teacher I had at 17 who had me. (Actually all it was was just exposing himself and his dry-humping me. In the fantasy a woman is forcing me in the course of a social occasion in the midst to civilized pleasantries to allow him to sodomize me, while she holds my head & comforts me. Once again the surrender of will. On occasion with this 1st lesbian lover who also fist-fucked me, I was somewhat able to derive some pleasure from it. I would never consider it with any man outside my husband, who finds this not a turn-on.

#110-5, white female, 25, has not completed high school, married, significant other knows of her interests, an oldest child, strict religious training, strong religious beliefs, no political views, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has no friends with SM interests, was introduced to SM by another person at the age of 23, has not tried to meet others, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a lifestyle, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, dominant, 1/350, pain oriented, would approve if her children grew up to have SM interests, does believe that she was both sexually and emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

My husband, Andy and I have been into B&D for 2 1/2 years now.

He is my male sex slave, and although I don't have the control over him as I would like, we do manage to include some S/M practice in our love games.

I do not have the control I would like because of our living situation, but this is how it was in the past, what the present is and what the future will be.

When I first met Andy, he asked me what I thought of B&D-SM and if I would be his Mistress.

I explained to him, while I was married to my first husband I often fantasized about B&D, that I be the sex slave, but my husband wouldn't hear of it.

I tried to convince Andy to reverse the rolls, I be the sex slave he the master.

There was no way he would have it that way because he had already been into B&D with his ex-girl, where he was the slave and really didn't want to change it.

Ten days later, he asked met to move into a friends house with him and we did just that.

For five days we lived together, making love to each other in the usually manner, male on top of female with no foreplay what-so-ever. Rather dull, I might say.

About the sixth day, he left the house asking me to meet him in a local bar at a certain time that evening.

I was there to meet him, he wasn't there, He had gone home with his ex-girl, so, I went back to the house.

That night, I was so frustrated and mad at him, that I just wanted to whip his ass but good and teach him a lesson he would never forget.

The next day he came strolling in around noon time, like nothing had happened.

In my own mind I was thinking: "If its B&D he wants, it's B&D he gets."

I had him change his cloths into his slave cloths, which consisted of a very short, red satin dress, a pair of panty hose spike heeled shoes.

At that point I collected all his BVD's and threw them out, since then he's had to wear panty hose as underwear. I then ordered him down on his back on the bed with his pantyhose down to his knees and his dress up to his waist, so his cock was where I wanted it.

He had an enormous erection by now, but, to my surprise, there was a black and blue on his cock

. I grabbed that cock and squeezed as hard as I could while he begged me to stop, because he had been punished enough be his ex-girl.

The next thing I did after hearing that was to secure this legs to the posts at the foot board with the leg irons and his writs to the posts of the headboard with the locking belt, face down, and I whacked his ass with the other locking (leather) belt a good 25 times.

I told him he has a new Mistress, never to stand me up and to stay away form his ex-mistress. Almost in tears, he agreed and said he was sorry.

As time went on, we got deeper into B&D-SM.

Everyone in the house was working at this time except for Andy and I, which made it a lot easier for our love games.

The man that we lived with had a weight lifting bench, that made a perfect toy for B&D.

The mornings would start off with his making the coffee. When he had to urinate or move his bowels, he had to get down on his knees and ask permission first.

If he retreated to the bathroom with out permission, he got 10 good whacks across the buttocks.

He had to take a shower every morning with his panty hose on.

He is not allowed to remove his panty hose what-so-ever unless he has to change them because of a run.

And then he has to get my permission.

After his shower he was to change into a fresh set of cloths and crotchless panty hose.

He was ordered to sit on the bench, where I would secure his legs to the poles with the leg irons and his arms by his sides with the locking belt.

With the crotchless panty hose on his cock was at an easy access to me, and, this is when I would tape it down flat with the bench for added punishment.

After an hour or so, I would release him and let him go about his day, but, he had to remain in his slave cloths and leg irons.

As the day went on, if he wished to do something for himself, he had to kneel before me and ask permission.

If he didn't, he got what was coming to him and he was right at my feet to tell me he did wrong.

By 5:00 he had to get back into his male cloths because of everyone coming home.

He did and still does however keep his panty hose on under his male clothes.

As we retired each night, he would put his slave cloths on, sit on the edge of our bed and wait for me.

I would secure him to the bed with a metal locking collar, which has a 6 foot chain attached to it.

We would make love and turn in for the night.

After 5 months or so, we got our own apt. which made us much more happier because we could then be a lot freer with our B&D-SM.

This is when I really clamped down on him and set up some rules for him to abide and stick by.

At this time he was still unemployed and I had found a job.

When we woke up in the morning he would make me a coffee an draw me a bath. Upon my leaving for work, he was told, he could do what he wished during the day as long as he did it in our home.

If he left the house, the next day he would be locked in his collar to the kitchen table, which has happened a few time

. If he removed his pantyhose for any reason, he was to get 100 straps across his ass.

When I returned home each day, he would have to be on his knees at the door ready to serve me in any way he could.

After supper, he was placed on a living room chair with each of his legs locked to a leg of the chair. His wrists locked to each arm of the chair.

I have a 3 inch leather collar with D hooks on it for attaching leashes which I locked to the back of the chair so he couldn't lean forward.

He was blindfolded, with a skirt on, bare from the waist up and a pair of crotchless pantyhose.

I have a set of clothspins, painted black, with a chain attached to them, which are placed on his nipples, clothspins on each ball, and, down the length of his cock.

Sometimes I would punish him more by scratching his cock with the bristles of a hair brush.

There were times when Id put him on a homemade cross and completely cover him, (while he was naked) with 2 inch celofane tape.

During the summer months he enjoy wearing cutoffs, so, I gave him the option, he can wear his shorts, with pantyhose or, wear his long pants. He chose the shorts with pantyhose.

To save the embarrassment for him around his friends, most of the time he wears panties with knee-hi nylon stockings under his socks.

I got so upset with him one night, because he was giving me a hard time about B&D that I had to actually strip him down.

I grabbed his cock, led him outside and made him stand there for 60 seconds or so while I still had his cock in my hand.

He pleaded and begged I let him go in and that he would never give me a hard time again, so, I let him in and we retired as we usually did.

Into his slave cloths and collar he went. We made love and turned in for the night.

We did have an argument one night which made him remove his panty hose.

The next day he was so scared, he got them on before I woke up and he knows as soon as we get our new apt. he is getting 100 whacks on the ass for doing so.

And he hasn't removed them since then and won't.

Because of the situation we have been in lately, we really can't enjoy B&D-SM the way we wish but we will again soon.

I have taken some pictures of him in his B&D gear and will include one with this letter

Mistress T--

P.S. I can not send a self addressed, stamped envelope along with this letter because it is to heavy now.

If you wish to write the address is:

Thank you.

#111-2, white female, 42, some college, never married, an oldest child, some religious training, no religious beliefs, politically liberal, rarely depressed for over a week, sometimes feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, unsure if she has friends who have SM interests, discovered SM from legitimate media, has not tried to meet others, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a lifestyle, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is heterosexual submissive, 0/0, humiliation oriented, does not believe that she was sexually abused but does believe that she was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

My fantasies always involve real men who dominate me but who also love me exclusively. Presently I'm working as an aid in a nursing home which is a position of humiliation. The object of my fantasies is the 24 year old administrator whose family owns the nursing home. We do have a sort of relationship but he's married with three children, so it's a hesitant relationship. He knows how I am, however. In my fantasy I'm afraid to let him touch me because I'm afraid I'll respond. I think I'm naturally frigid, I never respond to sex (which is true) except when I masturbate. But Bill can dominate me. Actually, we're helplessly in love because we're physically complementary. He knows I really want to be his sex slave but the reality would be terrifying. However he is determined to make me realize the truth of my submissive nature. He causes me to reveal how nakedly in love with him I am. He loves to see how much I love him and how I try to resist him. He won't let me resist him. He knows that no woman can. He's the kind of man over whom women go crazy-- beautiful, dark, sensitive, sensational! I'm the object of his desires, though. Eventually he creates a situation where I can not resist him. It's a love situation in which we kiss and feel how in love we are and how Scandalous it is and exciting. Of course, it leads to his fondling my genitals and turning me on incredibly. He becomes 'drunk with power' since he now 'owns' my response key. I, of course, surrender to his power and my love for him. The result is addiction: to his caresses, to our love, to each other. Bill is always cool, though, publicly, and he makes me obey him. He punishes me when I'm too much in love with him (with spankings and by treating me as a baby) This fantasy goes on and on, Bill only dominates me and is submissive to everyone else. the fantasy is exhibitionis- tic in that Our Love Affair is demonstrative and obvious to everyone, decadent and an increasingly intense sensual drama.

-----------------

I don't know if I can be of any help with your future research since my sex life exists presently as fantasy only, and, except for the one I've just related, I have no real desire to participate in SM activities. However, I've included the envelope since SM is the subject which turns me on most.

#112-154, white male, 42, post graduate, not married, significant other knows of his interests, an oldest child, no religious training, no religious beliefs, politically liberal, sometimes depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 12, tries to meet others through ads, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a lifestyle, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is homosexual, dominant, 25/50 humiliation oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was sexually abused but does believe that he was emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand- written.

I go to the gym, lift weights, do cals, run 5-6 miles & go home. I hang my gym shorts, jock, socks in the bathroom to hand & dress in leather from head to toe (including leather jock, boots, armbands, pants, harness, gloves, etc). A Yuppy, still in business attire rings my bell & I allow him to enter the front door. I put my hand to his shoulder, he drops to his knees, licks my boots, worships my leather and my body. I humiliate & degrade him. He sees all in a full-length mirror, I put a slave collar and leash on him & lead him to my playroom. I restrain him, place clamps on his tits & weights on his balls, paddle & spank him, allow him to spit-shine my leather jock, hang my sweaty gym clothes over his face, shove jock & socks in his mouth, perhaps fuck him, shoot hot load of sperm over his face; he comes [unreadable] of excitement, shooting onto my boots. He licks his own cum off of my boots. We cuddle & caress. I have done this many times & love the scene.

#113-167, white male, 55, college graduate, married, significant other knows of his interests, a youngest child, strict religious training, no religious beliefs, politically moderate, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends who have SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 14, has not tried to meet others, has used the services of a professional, vacillates in the intensity of his interests in SM, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, usually dominant, humiliation oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, reports having no fantasies. Hand- written.

I do not think the word S/M is proper as it is not the activity used by us or people we know.

We are married over 30 yrs.-- 3 kids graduated from college.

For example-- After a bit of Tennis, returning home-- maybe the wife gets a light over the knee spanking-- skirt up-- (its up anyway) just for laughs-- no hurt-- while Sister and husband watch-- maybe sister gets one too-- no sadism-- just fun-- laughs--

I another vein, hubby goes over wife's knee, a bit of the hairbrush on the bare bottom-- maybe even in front of a couple of friends-- Nothing more--

Sadism is not good and should not be a part of Spanking. Pettycoat punishment or anything else. None of our friends is into S/M only spanking, etc.

157-33, white female, 40, some college, divorced, significant other knows of her interests, an only child, some religious training, politically liberal, rarely depressed for over a week, rarely feels dirty or perverted because of her SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes hers are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 9, tries to meet through ads, at SM bars and clubs, and by introducing others to SM, has used the services of a professional, is a professional, vacillates in the intensity of her interests in SM, believes SM helps her achieve orgasm, is bisexual, versatile, pain oriented, would approve if her children grew up to have SM interests, believes that she was both sexually and emotionally abused as a child, has a wide variety of SM interests. Hand-written.

[There was no fantasy material enclosed with the original questionnaire. She provided the following in response to a follow-up questionnaire.]

QUESTION: What were your earliest "unusual" thoughts at age 9?

At age 9 my sexual / romantic fantasies included bondage and the emotion of submitting / surrender. There was also, often, an element of sexual training.

QUESTION: If you were to try to explain to a "straight" person about the unusual, and what you got out of it, what would you say?

I work as a sex educator who specializes in SM so I do this all of the time. Generally I touch on: As a bottom [submissive]: the excitement of fear, which is, physiologically matched with the plateau phase in the sex response cycle, physical stimulation, being taken care of, permission to not be responsible, ie I don't have to be the caretaker nor am I responsible (to my mother's voice in my head) for being sexual, the joy and power of pushing my limits, exploring trust and communication-- and last, but not least, great orgasms. As a top [dominant]: the excitement of fear, a chance to be crea- tive, the joy of giving, support (from the role) to say exactly what I want, and ego strokes.

QUESTION: Why do you think you have your particular sexual interests?

I think all people have some of both dominance and submission in them. I choose to express much of mine in an SM context because I feel good about the consent involved. I enjoy expressing it in an SM context-- well I'm not sure. It may have to do with early experiences, yet it also may not.

QUESTION: Have you noticed any changes in your interests in SM etc., during your menstrual cycle. For instance, during ovulation does the intensity of your interests change, or swing from dominant to submissive, or at other times in your cycle have you noticed similar changes?

My menstrual cycle affects my libido. I'm most turned on during and right after ovulation. This has a great affect on my bottom energy than on my top energy.

QUESTION: You mention that you have used the services of a professional. Could you tell me more about this? Do many females use your services as a professional?

I've used a professional top when my life was such that there wasn't anyone that I was interested in being a bottom to, on a personal level. A few women have used my services.

#114-219, white male, 46, some college, divorced, significant other knows of his interests, an only child, some religious training, moderate religious beliefs, politically conservative, never depressed for over a week, never feels dirty or perverted because of his SM interests, has friends with SM interests, believes his are natural interests from childhood, first recognized at age 6, tries to meet through ads and by introducing others to SM, has not used the services of a professional, views SM as a form of foreplay, believes SM helps him achieve orgasm, is heterosexual, dominant, 3/50, humiliation oriented, would approve if his children grew up to have SM interests, does not believe that he was either sexually or emotionally abused as a child, has one main fantasy. Hand-written.

My sole fantasy is "Daddy and his naughty little girl", with the basic plot involving my having to deal rather severely with her naughtiness by reading her the riot act and then slowly and sensuously removing her dress (or shorts) and panties, positioning her over my knee, and then applying hand, hairbrush, or strap to her bare behind until she learns a lesson.

I've acted out this scene with nearly a score of young ladies, ranging in age from 18 to 50, and I've found that even the 'straightest' is open to trying it if approached in the right way.

QUESTION: What were your earliest "unusual" thoughts at age 6?

As early as I can recall, i remember being very attracted to the female posterior and the idea or spanking certain female classmates (or imagining them being punished by their parents-- a not-altogether unlikely occurrence). Although I couldn't read much at that age, I took every opportunity to get into my parent's hidden collections of "true romance" and "pinup girl" magazines. In those days (mid- to -late-40s and 50s), many of the "romance" magazines featured Letters-to-the-Editor columns almost entirely devoted to parental discipline of teenagers (almost always girls) and had at least one article per issue about a husband turning his wife or girlfriend over his knee for misbehavior (with photo illustration), so I obviously was not alone in my particular interest ("I've managed to amass a small collection of these vintage mags in recent years, one favorite being "Your Romance" and its "Pats and Peeves" column). I began masturbating in response to these and other stimuli (one of the most unusual and funniest being that, since I couldn't read, I though that the label "Bayer aspirin" really read "bare ass burn" and the mere sight of the package would actually turn me on).

QUESTION: If you were to try to explain to a "straight" person about the unusual, and what you got out of it, what would you say?

First of all, I would underscore my belief that everyone has a specific "kink"- some may be well aware of it, some may not have discovered it yet, and some may be actively suppressing it- spanking just happens to be mine. By the way, I am very open about my interest, and most of my friends and even some of my work associates know about it, so I've had a lot of experience in introducing the subject to the uninitiated. I would further point to its popularity, as proven by the number of specialty magazines, video tapes, and movies devoted to it. I would explain that I find the female bottom very erotic (for obvious reasons, some adequately covered in such treatises as "The Naked Ape") and then go on to discuss the female erogenous zones and the stimulation of the buttocks with vigorous slaps tends to affect the nerve endings in the genitalia. I always emphasize that I'm not into pain, but simply find the whole visual panorama of a bare, bouncing, female bottom at close range very exciting. I also would explain that I most naturally fit into the role of a "father figure" (with all of the implications of dominating, caring, protecting, guiding, disciplining, etc, the gentler sex).

QUESTION: Were you spanked as a child, or have you ever witnessed another child being spanked?

Yes, I was regularly spanked by my mother until I was 12 years old, and I have good reason to suspect that she was sexually turned on by it. She used "rituals", lengthy preparations, and frequent reminders to build up anticipation, and I know she looked forward to each session. All punishments were in the nude, and the positions she used were obviously designed to expose my "intimate parts" as much as possible- before, during, and after the punishment.

QUESTION: Why do you think you have your particular sexual interests?

I don't think anyone knows the answer to this. But as far as I can fathom, I would guess that some clue lies in my answers to the first and third questions (above). In regard to the former, I was very much surrounded by pictures and articles that made it obvious tome- even at my young age- that the was something that a lot of people found both acceptable and sexually stimulating. In the case of the latter, I adopted my mother as a role model, and somewhere along the line decided that what she did or liked was fine for me, so at the very least perhaps her supportive interest in the subject made it "ok" for me to accept it rather than try to suppress it. I would also like to propose that my particular speciality is probably much more prevalent that one might guess- most sexual surveys show participation to be only at the 3%-10% level, but books such as "SM- The Last Taboo" give ample reason why there statistics are suspect, and my own experiences have shown that almost every female is very open to the idea of trying it.

QUESTION: How do you go about introducing women to your spanking interests?

It's amazing more simple that one would expect. First, one has to appear "safe"- you can't come on as a "weirdo". And, deep down, I really believe that we send out signals in some way, so that what happens comes as no surprise- in other words, I think we "recognize" a suitable partner long before we end up in bed. For example, I find it very easy to intuitively recognize a woman who is "looking for daddy" ("daddy" representing the security, caring, and loving guidance they either remember form their childhood or never had but want desperately) and I think she instantly knows me for what I am. Either that, or a majority of women are naturally so inclined for whatever other reasons, and would be open to this if approached in the right way.

In the case of the 20 or so women I've been intimate with, I've only had one turn me down flatly (mainly because she was a bit overweight and very insecure about the attractiveness of her bottom). With my ex-wife, when we were dating back in the 50s, I would playfully give her a few love pats on her skirt- covered bottom to the tempo of the words "I love you" whenever we were saying "Goodnight" on her front porch, so she was quite prepared for what I wanted after the wedding ceremony. In more recent times, I've used several successful approaches. Sometimes I've been very direct and run "personal ads" that left little doubt as to what I was looking for. Other times, I and my partner have had a frank talk before we jumped into bed, and I'll confess that I have this particular interest (or, as I mentioned earlier, if the woman has known me for some time, she probably already knows without being told), reassure her that I give only playful spankings and that I'll never be brutal or go beyond her pleasure limits, and of course ask her what turns her on. However, if things happen faster, I simply introduce the activity during foreplay by sensually stroking her bottom, slowly changing to light spanks, and then finally (if the reactions thus far have been encouraging) delivering a more proper spanking.

Again, I emphasize that there's already been a preselection phase- and it's unlikely that I'll ever end up in bed with anyone who isn't favorably inclined. In one case, a girl came right out and asked me to spank her our first night together- as though she knew all along what I was looking for! I practically fell out of bed from shock, but now I realize that I shouldn't have been so surprised. [Preselection works both ways.]

End of Fantasy and Follow-up Questionnaire Data


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